Grace and Peace
Rifiuto: Non Miriena
Summary: "It was supposed to be us." Grace Period AU.
"In Mossad, we call that the difference between life and death."
He swallowed, Ziva's words hanging in his head. He couldn't remember how many times she'd told him and McGee that, but it seemed the words certainly rang true, especially now. And while they weren't in Mossad, their lives certainly hung in the balance between the living and the dead, especially now. He didn't notice the EMTs checking him out, or Gibbs' by his side, giving him his space and time to gather his thoughts before speaking. But instead, he turned back, towards the burning and smoldering remains of the building where McGee and Ziva went in to die, though they didn't know it.
None of them had.
Tony had just been lucky enough to have gotten there seconds later, and was in the process of climbing out of the car- Gibbs had taken surveillance further down the street, so all bases were covered- when the bomb went off. He had been climbing out of the car just as the door to the building closed; the flash of McGee's tan corduroy jacket flashing before him before that door separated the world from life and death.
He took a deep breath, getting up; Gibbs helped him stand, his knees weak as he made his way towards the remains of the building. "I should have been in there. I should have gone in with them, Boss. I'm the Senior Field Agent, it was my responsibility to look out for them, to protect them. I was responsible for Tim and Ziva. Me. They were my partners. And I wasn't there for them, like I should have been. I didn't get there in time. I should have told them to wait for me, to hold their positions until I got there-"
"And it would have been three bodies Ducky would have to autopsy instead of two, Tony." Came their team leader's soft reply.
"This is not Iraq. My people are not supposed to be killed by suicide bombers here." The director's words hurt more and more with each pound of his heart. He had listened to Director Shepard talk about informing Ziva's father and McGee's sister, and how she had struggled to keep from breaking down.
"Tony?" He looked up from his place on the floor of Abby's lab. She stood over him, eyes and nose red from crying, a soft mournful composition playing, out of respect for their lost coworkers. She broke down, choking as she struggled to keep from sobbing openly. "Oh, Tony. I miss them. So much." She fell to her knees, climbing into his arms and wrapping her own around his shoulders, burying her face in his neck. He wrapped his arms tight around her, sniffling, as tears slipped down his cheeks.
"So do I, Abs."
"They want to hold a memorial for Yahseed and Gibbs' lost team." Cassidy and her team turned to Gibbs, eyes wide in surprise.
"They want to hold a memorial for Tim?" Agent Nelson asked, tears choking his voice. Gibbs nodded.
"Yeah. For Tim and Ziva." Nelson swallowed hard.
"It was supposed to be us." He whispered, tears in his eyes.
"Where?" Tony asked, though his gut told them he knew the answer. He didn't want to hear how Cassidy's team had gotten out of the death trap his partners' had been caught in. He just wanted them back. His heart clenched as his boss's voice confirmed what he suspected.
"Where they died."
It hurt, being back here; he turned to the corner near the window, seeing Ziva's body sitting up against the far wall, where she'd been thrown when the bomb exploded. Taking a deep breath, he turned back to the far wall, where they'd found the hidden door, and saw Tim, laying on the floor.
"Say a prayer for your team, Tony." Paula had told him, and so he stood, eyes closed against the now barren walls that had been his partners' final resting places. When people started arriving, he found himself drifting away from the conversation, only coming back to the world at hand when they heard Gibbs shout,
"It's Malik!"
He glanced at Paula, who gasped as the hidden wall opened. And suddenly, he didn't think, he didn't speak, he did nothing but run towards the man. Their bodies collided as he tackled Malik, sending them both back into the empty room, as the door swung closed. Paula's scream only registered in his ears after he and Malik landed upon the floor. "Tony!"
He looked up as he reached for the trigger, and his eyes widened. He couldn't believe it.
It wasn't... possible...
Tim and Ziva.
They stood over him, watching silently. Tim wore his tan jacket, his emerald green eyes boring into Tony's brain with a clarity he had never seen within his probie's eyes before. Ziva stood beside him, her long dark hair down around her shoulders, her Star of David sparking in the angelic glow they both seemed to bask in. They had seen him, watched as he suffered through his guilt, as he blamed himself, as he took responsibility for something he had no control over.
He searched their gazes, those calm, peaceful stares, and in that moment, realized that despite their violent, sudden demise, they had felt no pain. They had gone quickly, not even realizing what they were stepping into when that door closed behind them.
They held hands, their fingers linked loosely together, yet held tight. They watched, waiting. Waiting for him, watching over him, like the guardian angels they now were.
Tim nodded to him before meeting Ziva's eyes, a small smile gracing the Israeli officer's lips; the meaning clear, just as the blast shook the building.
It's okay, Tony. You're safe. We've got you.