Recollections of the Doomed
I. Chains
Summary: A collection of brief AkuZeku stories. Story I, "Chains": "When Zexion thinks about what symbolizes his and Axel's relationship best, his mind arrives at only one thing--chains."
Warnings: Same warnings as apply to all my AkuZeku stories. You know, yaoi, abuse, yadda yadda.
Notes: Wow, I'm quite a hypocrite, claiming that I won't update anymore since school has started, but...somehow I've been able to steal enough time to at least do this. I intend this to be a collection of brief AkuZeku oneshots (drabbles, they're called?) that I will update periodically whenever writing demons bite me. In the butt. You know.
I broke another slightly less major promise by writing in present tense, something I told myself to do since everyone seems to be doing it...and for personal reasons I just don't like it. However, I think I intend for each story to be written in a somewhat different style. Like, this one in present tense, the next one perhaps in first person, so on and so forth. Just a way to experiment and have fun. :) And I'll also switch between Axel and Zexy's POV, and maybe throw in a few outsider (Vexen, Demyx, Roxas, etc.) POV's in there. We shall see!
And hey. This'll challenge me (kinda) as a writer, as I'm going to try to keep each story nice and brief! Which is something that I've had trouble with in the past (as anyone who's read "A Relationship of Equals" can testify). This first story alone, without the notes, is just over a thousand words. Astounding!
When Zexion thinks about what symbolizes his and Axel's relationship best, his mind arrives at only one thing:
Chains.
Chains have been a part of their relationship, from the very beginning. Zexion can still remember that first night, so many years ago, when his fiery-headed junior invited him to share the same bed...but that time hadn't been their first. They'd already been seeing each other for several weeks already, Zexion having been somewhat--somewhat--intrigued by the Organization's newest member. But those encounters had been casual, had been nothing but an excuse for a night of good, hard, sex. Zexion had thought their relationship would stay that way, being nothing but a few occasional flings, requiring no commitment from either one of them, nothing but a shared libido--
Until the chains.
He remembers, still, remembers lying face down on the bed as per Axel's instructions, remembers feeling his arms jerked above his head, and, looking up in surprise, seeing--the chains. Even now, Zexion has no idea where Axel got the chains from, and he doesn't feel up to asking. Why does it matter, anyway...? All that matters to him is that that night was the first of many, many nights, where Axel had chained him with an almost expert precision to the bed post, and then climbed on top of him, and mastered him, for the first time of hundreds.
From that point on, the chains have become a fixture of their relationship. Strictly speaking, Axel doesn't need them to do Zexion--sometimes, if he's feeling impatient, he'll just tie Zexion down with his own belt, or bind his arms to the bed post using the bed's sheets. On some rare occasions, he doesn't even feel the need to tie Zexion down at all. These moments are too few and far between to amount to much, however.
And Zexion cannot deny that the best nights he's ever had, the most intense and shuddering climaxes--have always been when Axel uses the chains. For some reason, there is something that cannot be replicated about being tightly bound--both arms--by a length of cool, clattering metal chain. Certainly, it leaves plenty of bruises afterwards, but as they say, nothing in life is free. What you do get is entirely worth the cost.
Zexion suspects that the attraction of the chains to both him and Axel is something more than just a late-night kink--it's something that defines his and Axel's entire relationship. A chain binds the two of them together, irrevocably--a chain that cannot be seen, but cannot be broken, either. This chain was first bound around them that night, eons ago, when Axel first tied Zexion up; it has since only tightened.
There are some--Luxord, mostly--who talk about fate, but Zexion doesn't believe that fate has chained him and Axel together. How could they be destined to be together? Axel is an impulsive extrovert, hiding his true insidious malice behind a snarky and casual veneer; Zexion, on the other hand, is an intelligent youth who hides his own insecurities and fears of weakness behind a coldly confident mask. They are nothing alike.
But their connection isn't entirely accidental, either. If it was just chance that brought Axel and Zexion together, then that tenuous string should have snapped long ago. No--what they're held together by isn't the stiff, powerful bind of fate, nor is it the thin, loosely-tied string of chance. It is something else altogether--something Zexion won't even pretend to understand, anymore.
There was a time when Zexion would have disliked that--would have disliked not understanding. For a scientist, not knowing was the absolute worst thing that could happen. As a scientist, he needed answers, strict and carefully defined answers that left no room for ambiguity. He's never been so locked into that dichotomy as, say, Vexen--Ienzo, and Zexion, have always been able to appreciate the finer points of things. Still, he liked getting definite answers.
With Axel, there are no answers, no certainties. And Zexion doesn't mind. He may not understand why he and Axel have become so inextricably bound together that they can no longer imagine a life without each other...but does it matter? Theirs is a relationship that defies any and all attempts at explanation--but how can it be explained? Not when they are two beings who know they should not be in a relationship in the first place. They know, of course, but it no longer matters to either of them, not when their life has become ruled not by their own decisions, but by that ever-present chain, that winds tighter and tighter with each and every day, drawing them closer together and closer to an ultimate fate that Zexion feels he may not entirely like.
He doesn't care anymore, however. He lost control of his life the day Axel first chained him to the bed post--and he doesn't want any of it back.
Every eventuality adds a link to their chain. Every kiss, every touch, every argument, every blow, every whispered plea. Even things that should have torn them apart--things such as Axel destroying the library Zexion had been close to calling home, things like Zexion knowingly flirting with Demyx all for the sake of getting Axel angry--have only served to draw them closer together. All the lies, all the deceits, all the insults and curses, have taken their place on the chain. Every action lengthens the chain, and every reaction serves to tighten it.
One day, Zexion feels that the chain will no longer be able to lengthen, that it will be unable to grow any tighter than it already has. One day, it will wrap so tightly around him and Axel that they can no longer draw breath--that will be the day it all ends. Sometimes, Zexion can almost feel that moment, just looming over the horizon. He waits, but it never comes, and for that, so far, he is grateful. He is not yet ready to be strangled by the relationship he and Axel share--the relationship that never should have been. Not yet.
As it is now, as he enters Axel's room, as he touches Axel's face, and kisses him with an exaggerated gentleness, as Axel pulls him away and smirks at him and tells him to stop teasing, Zexion is content to simply lie back and wait for it to happen. Until the chain winches so tightly that it squeezes the life out of him--
He is content to let the bonds tighten.
So...yeah. I don't know how well that worked out...in particular, I'm a bit unsure on how well I was able to incorporate the overarching theme (chains) into the story. Well, I appreciate feedback!
Again, if you read this, please review. I can't stand it when people read a story but won't comment on it (funny, since I do it myself--something I gotta change!). So take a second or two out of your time to tell me what you liked, or what you think I could do better! That'll be all for now...until the school year settles in full force and I'll sink under the weight of homework plus Academic Decathlon. We'll see.