Standard disclaimer applies.

Summary: Eiji and Gakuto argue over who has the best boyfriend. Then enter Choutaro, stage left and everything becomes more intense… until Atobe shows up…

My Boyfriend is Better than Yours
- by Reiven♥

"-Oh sure, keep telling yourself that, Kikumaru. You and that fang headed, so-called boyfriend of yours! If you just knew the extent of what Yuushi and I do in bed at night, you won't even be able to show your face in public anymore pretending to be a couple."

"Oh yeah! Well, Oishi and I wouldn't even want to imagine anything that has to do with you or that blue haired Fuji-wannabe of yours!"

"Fuji wha-why you little-" Mukahi Gakuto scoffed indignantly, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at the Seigaku regular before him, "Fuji can just fantasize about being nearly as great as Yuushi is. Besides, you defend that baldy you love so much and yet, you don't even call him by his first name," he turned up his nose smugly, "Yuushi and I practically live at each others' houses. His mom even insisted that I call her Okaa-san."

Kikumaru Eiji was beyond irritated at this point. He never liked the snarky Hyotei regular in the first place, and at this point, it had turned into full-fledged hate. He'd even considered sneaking some of Inui's homemade juice into his drink at some point, and that was just cruel!

"So what? Oishi and my relationship goes beyond the need for pet names and all that. My love for him is eternal. Besides, I used to call him Syuu-chan, but Oishi is much cuter! It reminds me of a bowl of parfait on a warm afternoon… or two. Oishii, nyaa," he trailed off, remembering the time he and Oishi had gone out for parfait last summer.

Gakuto smirked, "So, you mean to say that you and him have a strict… old people relationship?" he humphed, "You both are so missing out on the real action. Why, just last night Yuushi came over with a pair of handcuffs and some whipped cream and the both of us-"

"Gakuto-sempai?"

Gakuto's intention of going further into detail of his midnight romp with his not-so-better half was brusquely halted when the innocent voice of Ohtori Choutaro reached his ears.

"Ohtori! What are you doing here?"

Ohtori shot a look between his sempai and Seigaku's Kikumaru questioningly, "I was looking for Shishido-san. What are you and Kikumaru-san doing?"

Gakuto didn't stop the superior smirk from surfacing, "Oh nothing, just basking in the fact that Yuushi and I are the best couple in this world. I'm sure you'd agree, Ohtori," he looked pointedly at Eiji.

"No fair! You're both on the same team so it's obvious whose side he's going to be on."

"You can't deny the obvious, Kikumaru, so don't bother trying," he turned his attention to the tall second year, waiting for his answer.

"Well…" Choutaro began, "Gakuto-sempai and Oshitari-sempai are great," this brought on a wide smirk to Gakuto's face, "But… the truth is, Shishido-san is the best boyfriend anyone could have," he said finally.

"See, Kikumaru. Even-wha-what!" his head snapped back to Choutaro, "You're saying that Shishido is better than my Yuushi? That crop-haired drama-queen!"

"Hey, you don't have any right to talk about Shishido-san like that," Choutaro's eyebrows narrowed slightly at the insult being thrown at his Shishido-san, "He's the sweetest, most caring and helpful person anyone could ever wish to be with."

Eiji didn't really have anything more to add at this point, and merely leaned back to enjoy the current battle being waged before him… until Gakuto mentioned that his Syuu-chan had an irregularly shaped head, and that was when all hell broke loose.

The commotion being made only succeeded in chasing all the scandalized customers out of the shop, even the manager who had gone over to cool the three teens now sat hunched over in a dark corner, his minds eye seeing all sorts of perverted scenario's and his innocence forever marred by the x-rated descriptions that had been thrown out into the open.

It seemed that the three people were beyond reason.

But then, the heaven's opened up, and by some miraculous turn of events unknown to even himself, Atobe Keigo walked in, followed closely by his better half, Tezuka Kunimitsu.

"What in the name of Ore-sama is going on here?" Atobe's proud drawl broke through the tense atmosphere and reached the ears of the battling boys, "Mukahi, Ohtori; I expected better of you…" then, as if he'd just understood what he had just said, he repeated, "Actually, I would be lying if I said that this unabashed display of incivility is so like you, Mukahi. Ohtori," he turned to the light-haired second-year, "I expected better of you."

Ohtori looked away, a hit of a blush spreading across his face, "I apologize, Atobe-san," he said shamefully, "I just got… carried away."

Gakuto, on the other hand, seemed to be smoking at the ears and glared menacingly at his team captain, "Using such big words, Atobe, that is so like you!"

"Ah-ah," Atobe flipped his hair back, "might I remind you, Mukahi, who writes the early drafts of whom makes and does not make the regular cut. Na, Tezuka."

Tezuka just humphed and turned his attention to Eiji, "Kikumaru, explain."

Eiji huffed and threw a glare at Gakuto's direction, "He insulted Oishi!"

"I was just merely stating the obvious," Gakuto said smugly.

"He insulted Shishido-san!" Choutaro pointed at Gakuto when attentions from the two imposing captains turned to him, "He called him a crop-haired drama-queen!"

"Not that he'd very far off on that assumption, ahn?" Atobe raised an eyebrow at Tezuka, who just shrugged.

"Not really…" Choutaro almost pouted, "but… Shishido-san is the greatest boyfriend in the world and I won't let anyone insult him like that in front of me."

"No, Yuushi! He's great in bed and-"

"Oishi is the kindest and best boyfriend, ever!"

The volume arose once again with all three the boys standing up to defend their respective partners.

"Silence!"

They all quieted down at the sound of Tezuka's demanding voice.

Atobe cast an approving look at his lovers' direction and moved forward to face the three mislead boys.

"What are the three of you insinuating?" Atobe remarked with a contented smirk on his face, he turned up his nose, and flipped back his wavy hair before adding, "Everyone knows that Ore-sama is the best boyfriend anyone can ever have. Na, Tezuka?"

Tezuka rolled his eyes, and knew that there was only one thing he could do in a situation like this. He locked the four before him with a steady look and ordered them to run twenty laps. Eiji had expected this reaction and had already been half way to the door by the time Tezuka finished his sentence. Gakuto obeyed without word as the stoic Seigaku captain scared him a little, Choutaro just did his laps without any arguments, because that was so like him and Atobe, well, Atobe, much to the surprise of everyone present, even the people who were not members of the tennis club, just gave Tezuka a flippy smirk and moved to walk out the door, but not before turning back to face the stoic boy.

"Ore-sama just loves it when you become all demanding like that, Tezuka," he said proudly and after blowing a small kiss to Tezuka, sauntered off to do his laps.

The remaining occupants of shop just stared at the good looking teen, confused, trying to come to grips with the fact that what they had just witnessed could be labelled an event of historic proportions. Tezuka noticed this and ordered them to run twenty laps.

In the end, Tezuka was the only one left in the deserted shop. He pushed his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose and with a gentle, almost inaudible mutter or, "Usu," he walked off to join his lover in his laps.

- Owari.

The parfait scene is from the photo showing part of Dreamlive 1st :D The "Usu" part with Tezuka was inspired by a story I read (which I can't remember the title or the author at this present moment), therefore, Usu!Tezuka is credited to her :D