Hi everyone, this is my first fic ever wrote (at least in English). Despite my rather sad username for this project I will make you reader crack out as much as possible.

NOTE: as you read there going to be lots of things that out of the real story. For example plasma tv and PS2, these thing help move my story so please don't complain.

Disclaimer: I surely didn't own FMA or any character in it, well how can a person who get F in chemistry like me write this story anyway (I'm not joking), although the two special officers Bakarin and Inaba was mine though.

Prologue

At Central Stadium, people were crowded to come and see one of the strangest and excited duels of the century.

The match between Colonel Roy Mustang and Homunculus name Envy

Inside the stadium there a large football field size area for fighting, stands that can hold more than thousand people and a wide plasma screen that shows a familiar faces.

"Hi everyone, I'm Jean Havoc" said… well of course Havoc.

"And I'm Maes Hughe" said… Hughes?

With the sound of the long dead colonel everybody was silent, until someone has managed to shout out.

"B.. but you're dead!"

"Well I have a day off from being a messenger in heaven, so I take an opportunity to become one of the hosts" with the explanation from Hughes everyone just nodded. This explains why there white fluffy wings on his back along with golden ring that float above his head.

"Anyway.." Havoc cut off.

"WELCOME TO ROY VS ENVY: THE BATTLE FOR THE CHIBI TWEETY!" both hosts shout in unison and the crowd start to cheer.

At the lights and sounds technical room.

"Are they ready?" Fuery turn around from a large TV screen (you know the kind that have many screen show what happening) to talk to his assistances, Maria Ross and Denny Brosh. However there was no response since their mind were all concentrate on

Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix.

"Just give up Denny, I'm sure gonna beat ya butt!" shouted Maria

"No way babe, it you who gonna be beaten up by my dance skill" replied Denny whose pressing the button madly.

"Will you guys please stop playing that stupid game and help me?" Fuery ask annoyingly. Still the two just ignore him. With that Fuery get out of his chair and crept behind the television that his mad assistances watching and pulled off the plug. Surely the screen becomes blank.

"Holy shit what have you done!" Denny screamed

"Fix it back!" Maria roared

"Well if both of you don't help me check whether the competitors and the prizes ready I will not fix it back" Fuery stated coolly.

"Fine" both of them replied before walk out of the room. After make sure that no one in the room Fuery plug back the television however he change the Dance Dance Revolution into one of his favorite game.

Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus

Back at the fighting area

"And now times for the competitors to show up!"

After Havoc announced a white smoke appear around the fighting area. At first the smoke was too thick and dense to see anything; slowly the smoke start to clear and two figures can be seen from opposite side.

"On the Red side we have the Colonel of Central headquarters, Roy Mustang!" shouted Hughes. The smoke on the left side of the stage disappears, revealing Roy standing proudly; his trademark smirk plastered on his face while his blue military coat flutter making him look like Batman posing.

"And on the Blue side we have the Homunculus Envy!" Havoc announced. Again the smoke disappears revealing Envy in his favorite teenage boy form. He too smile sheepishly (another word evil) his small amount of clothes also flutter. (But yes he didn't look like batman nor Robin, thank god)

"Both competitors have to fight each other in three main areas intelligence, strength and skill" explained Hughes.

"There will be three rounds, the one who win the most will be the winner" continue Havoc.

"And get the prize" Hughes finished with a smirk, before pointed to a distant corner. Right now everybody eyes were on a red curtain that slowly drew itself (of course that someone at the back draws the curtain). And suddenly everybody jaw drop open from the sight.

Behind the curtain was a large golden cage, and yes it made out of real gold! But what makes everybody shocked wasn't the unbelievable expensive thing the military could find but the thing inside the cage.

Inside the cage was …………………..

To Be Continue

YOU PEOPLE REALLY THINK I'M GOING TO END HERE !...

Continue with the story (yeah I know I'm an evil bitch so what:p)

Inside the cage there laid our dear chibi, Ed. The cage fit his ipod nano body size perfectly. He was fast asleep, snoring loudly with drool on the corner of his mouth. What made everyone cannot stop staring at him was the fact that he was wearing a dress; black blouse with long sleeve that reach his wrist cover his automail arm, matching flowing black skirts reaching his ankle (if he stand up) with a white lace on the end. Another vas of white lace forms his blouse collar. His hair was in it usual messy braid however someone was dare enough to tie a big black ribbon on it.

The overall result was that the fullmetal alchemist was sleeping a golden cage with pink ribbon, wearing a gothic Lolita costume.

Our dear competitors eye the prize hungrily (there even drools on the corner of their mouth… eww) while the audience sweat drop -"

"that right everybody the winner will get Edward Elric as their prize, what they will do with him are up to them" continue Hughes.

Both the competitors have an evil idea popped into their not-so-innocent mind.

"But if they loose they still get another prize" announced Havoc with a grin on his mouth. Again everybody head turn to another distant dark corner, however there no curtain. Suddenly a spotlight appears showing a gigantic metal cage.

Everybody mouths hang open while their eyes seem to jump out of the sockets.

The cage was well.. very huge. The metal looks very strong with electric circuit attached to it that if anybody touch it the cage sure send a wave of electric shocks to the victim body. Inside cage the lay…. Alex Louis Armstrong! Like Ed he was fast asleep. The man snore loudly like volcano erupted. His attire consists of one piece sickly pink dress with laces and frills, which expose some skin on his shoulder. On the top of his head was a long blond curly wig. (If you don't get what I'm trying to describe think back to how Havoc imagine Armstrong's sister look like at first). So the Armstrong alchemist was wearing a pink dress.

Surely the sight made everybody (included the hosts) want to throw up (even the writer too.. ewwwwww).

"In order to make sure that when the prizes wake up and not going to fuss (which surely will happen) we have two special officers who going to help guide the prizes" added Hughes.

"On the winner sides we have special officer Bakarin" announced the host. He was referring to female officer who was playing PS2 next to the golden cage. (she play Inuyasha if ya curios) what make everybody lifted eyebrows was there a giant tablet lying next to her.

"And on.. the… errr other side we have special officer Inaba" now he was referring to another female officer wearing thick glasses listening to her mp3. Next to where she seated was long looking like metal spears.

"If there any problem, the two officers will use their special 'weapon' to tame the prize" explained Havoc

"And now, LET START!" chorused the hosts which responded by sound of cheering and screaming.

.

So how was it, I know it rather crappy but believe me it hard writing in English, can't help it not my first language (I'm Thai if you curios). Oh before we finish I just want to give a credit to my lovely friend unjiunjimumu (she doesn't have an account in but this is her ID in deviant art, feel free to visit her -) and she the one who going to draw a pic for this fic too, wooopeeeee

So please review!