Chapter 1
Good morning, Agent P," Monogram said to Perry. The platypus secret agent, sitting in his chair, said nothing in reply. "Dr. Doofenshmirtz made a very strange post on his blog this morning. It says, 'I don't feel like taking over the tri-state area today, going to screw with my stupid brother's subconscious instead.' We don't know what to make of that, so get out there and find out what that scatterbrain has planned."
Perry tipped his fedora, grabbed his jetpack, and flew out an open tunnel back to the surface.
"So..." Carl said slowly, "we're starting with this story line?"
"Why not? We're shaking things up for a change."
Carl shrugged. "I don't know. It just seems weird."
"So then he says, 'Now, let me ask you this: do you trust 'em?'" Buford said to Baljeet. "'Because I gotta get a pair cat handcuffs and I gotta get 'em right away.'"
"Not that I am not enjoying listening to you recount a stand-up comedy routine by Steve Martin," Baljeet interrupted, "but why are we walking on this side of the street?"
"What'dya mean?"
"Well, we always walk down the other side of the street because that is the side Phineas and Ferb live on. This is Isabella's side of the street."
"Keen observation, Baljeet. We're on this side because I'm going to play a prank on Isabella this morning."
"Oh, is that why you are carrying a ball of twine, a live lobster, and two dozen quarter-twenty wing nuts?"
"Yes. Yes it is."
Baljeet looked at the lobster in the bucket Buford was carrying. "You are not going to hurt it, are you?"
"No, but I am planning on eating it after I'm finished with the prank. Little bit of garlic, little bit of butter…"
They walked another block in silence, Buford having lost interest in the Steve Martin routine, Baljeet never really having had any interest in it at all. As they crossed the next side street, still two blocks away from Isabella's house, Baljeet asked, "Why do you feel the need to prank Isabella?"
"Don't you remember yesterday? She insulted me!"
"I do not recall."
"That's okay. Just pay attention to the flashback."
"Where is it?"
"Just be patient. Wait until the horizontal divider and the text changes to italics."
"Okay, Isabella," Phineas said, "Since you have your Fifteenth Century Shakespearian Costume patch, we need you to make Buford's Mercutio costume for our production of Ferb's crossover play between Space Adventure and Romeo and Juliet, 'Captain Lump Sharkboard and Juliet.'"
"Why do I have to make Buford's costume? Do you have any idea how much material and thread of various colors and thicknesses it's going to take to make a costume for Buford?"
"I don't know. How much?"
"A lot!"
"Hey! I heard that! Are you calling me fat, girlie?"
"Uh…" She ignored Buford's question. "So you're playing Captain Sharkboard, Phineas?"
"Of course."
"Who's gets to be Juliet?"
"Well-"
"Don't try to change the subject!" Buford yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Isabella. "You think I'm fat!"
"Well, to be fair, Buford, you do outweigh the rest of us by easily twenty meatloafs."
"That is it? That is the whole reason why you need to prank Isabella?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes."
Baljeet was slightly dumbstruck. "Buford! You are fat! I know what size pants you wear!"
"I know. Husky. I know how big I am, and I don't care if other people think I'm big, but I don't like it when people talk about me like I'm not standing fifteen feet away."
Baljeet folded his arms. "And I suppose you expect me to help you pull off…whatever it is you plan on doing with a live lobster."
"Of course."
"Well, I hate to tell you this…Oh, wait, no, I do not. I fear Isabella much more than I fear you. I do not wish to take any part in this." By this point, they had reached the sidewalk in front of Isabella's house. They stopped walking. "I will take your inevitable wedgie as punishment for not helping you later. I would rather have my underwear complete and utterly destroyed than have to face Isabella's wrath."
"Suit yourself. It's gonna be really funny."
"See you later. If you survive, that is." And with that, Baljeet ran across the street to Phineas and Ferb's house.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!
Perry landed his jet pack on the penthouse balcony. Dr. Doofenshmirtz and a large sheet-covered inator were already on the deck, waiting for him.
"Ah, Perry the Platypus!" Doof said with a smile as Perry removed his jetpack. "How nice to see you. Well, not really, but I thought I'd try to be a little more polite to people, even if you are my nemesis."
Perry rolled his eyes.
"So, let me tell you my evil plan. I feel like I should be trapping you first, but it seems like we're doing this whole thing kinda out of order, so I'll trap you after I tell you my evil scheme.
"Anyway, this morning I woke up and just didn't really feel up to taking over the tri-state area. Too much effort, not enough reward, since you will, in the end, defeat me. So, instead, I'm just going to annoy the heck out of my brother the mayor. And how will I do that, you ask?"
He pulled the sheet off his inator. "BEHOLD! The Imagination Insert-inator!"
Perry thought the machine just looked like an oversized canister vacuum cleaner with no hose and a ray gun attached to the top.
"You like it? I built it out of an old vacuum cleaner I found while cleaning out my attic. Recycling!"
Perry rolled his eyes again.
"Anyway, this machine will do two things. First, the ray gun will scan my body and convert me into microscopic pieces of gray matter. Then, it will suck me into the canister, which will hold my miniature form. Once inside, I will use a molecular sized control panel, the same one from my old de-evolutionator, to target my brother's head. The ray will then insert me into my brother's subconscious. Not only will I be in his day dreams, but I will be able to manipulate them, too. I can't control them, only Roger can do that, of course, I mean, it's his brain. But, I will be able to manipulate anything he imagines, and he won't be able to control what I do. Like, for instance, if he's day dreaming about cruising around town in a Z28 Chevy Camaro, I can take control of another car and crash into him. He will be so freaked out that his day dreams become day nightmares! He won't have a clue what's going on!"
Perry stared at him. Doof stared back.
"Okay, now I'll trap you."
Doof pushed a button on a remote that he pulled from his pocket. A cage swung out from the roof on a boom arm and dropped down to land over Perry. Perry quickly curled into a ball and rolled forward. The cage missed him.
"Aw, man!" Doof gasped.
Perry jumped through the air and punched him in the face. Doof stumbled backwards into the Imagination Insert-inator. The activation button was pressed. A green retractor ray shot out of the inator and extended out into the suburbs.
"Uh-oh. I hope that doesn't hit anybody," Doofenshmirtz mumbled.
Buford crouched as he ran around the side of Isabella's house to the backyard. He was looking for her bedroom window, which was on the back of the house. Finding it, he peaked inside. Isabella was tying her bow into her hair, facing away from the window.
"Heh-heh-heh!" he laughed quietly, ducking down and setting the bucket containing the lobster on the ground. Just as he was about to reach into the bucket and pick up the crustacean, he was struck by-
"Oh no! A random green ray from the sky!"
The ray shrunk Buford down, and then retracted, taking him all the way back to the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated building in town.
"Hey! Where am I?" Buford called out. "Hello?"
Doofenshmirtz and Perry stopped their tussle on the deck at the sound of the voice.
"Did you hear that, Perry the Platypus?"
Perry nodded.
"I think it came from inside the Imagination Insert-inator!" They both ran over to the device and listened.
"Hello?" came from inside.
"Uh-oh. I seem to have sucked up an innocent civilian. Well, I guess I'll have to let him out."
Buford looked around. He seemed to be in a pristine room colored completely white. It was kind of dark and shadowy inside here, though. The only noticeable features seemed to be a tube in the ceiling, through which Buford assumed he had entered, and a control panel, which was the only thing providing any light.
"Ooh! A control panel! I'm gonna randomly push some buttons!"
"Ooh! A control panel! I'm gonna randomly push some buttons!" Doof and Perry heard the voice inside the inator say.
"NO! DON'T PUSH ANY BUTTONS!" Doof yelled.
The green ray atop the vacuum canister suddenly shot out again, disappearing in the same direction as before.
A guilty look crossed Dr. Doofenshmirtz's face. "This is not good."
I just couldn't resist putting the Z28 Camaro in there. Most of my stories have a classic car somewhere, so I figured I'd just have Doofenshmirtz mention one.
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