"OMIGOSH! EDWARD CULLEN! NO WAYZ, I TOTALLY HEART YOU!"
He looked up at the rabid girl like a child caught taking a cookie from the jar. "Um…I'm not Edward Cullen. No offense, but he's not real."
She glomped him. "No, I've seen you. I'm seeing you," the fan swooned. "I'm seeing Edward Cullen! My big, strong vampy!"
"Um…no. Just no. Even if this Edward guy was real, he couldn't be me. And say he was, he isn't a vampire."
The fan disengaged herself from her vampire idol. He nervously backed away and looked for a way around the girl. No such luck for our irritated antagonist. "Not a vampire? That's not possible! You drink blood and stuff!"
He narrowed his shimmery golden eyes. His long, girly eyelashes brushed his cheek as he blinked. "Okay, kid. I am Edward Cullen. Happy now?"
"You're totally a vampire. What did you mean by 'not a vampire'?"
Cue annoyed sigh. "What's it to you?"
Cue fangirl scream. "Well, you're my idol! You owe it to me!"
The overcast sky began clearing up, unbeknownst to the two people arguing on the streets of Forks, Washington. The girl had come there just for a chance to meet the one and only vampire for her and she wasn't leaving until she was satisfied with her hero.
"Just forget it. I have to go now, so please –"
"Are you going to see Bella? That's really sweet, but eventually you'll find out that the only one for you is me."
"Actually, I have to go meet Carlisle at the hospital, so –"
The girl launched herself at him, his jacket falling from his shoulders as he tried to fight his devotee off.
"I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER! TEAM EDWARD!"
He stumbled backwards and shoved her off of him. He stepped into a patch of sunlight and tripped, pulling an awesome move where he flipped over in midair and caught himself before he impacted with the ground. The girl almost fainted with joy, but pulled herself into check when she saw….wings.
She would have been okay with it if they were angel wings (it would make sense. He was an angel sent from above.) or even if they'd been a manly color. But no. They were pink. Pink butterfly wings. He looked at her with a stricken look on his face (He sparkled!) and jumped up.
Then he franticly fluttered off, but couldn't seem to resist one last "Told you I wasn't a vampire! Fairies forever!"
Then he disappeared into the distance, leaving behind only one very confused girl who wasn't quite sure whether it would be better to switch to Team Jacob, but she was afraid that he might turn into a puppy.
She pulled out Harry Potter and began to read vigorously.