Disclaimer: Disney would so not approve.

AN: Hey, y'all! I've had the urge to do this fanfic for, like, years. Always starts with the same set-up: delegations from Corona and DunBroch visit Arendelle, resulting in, as the summary suggests, an Anna/Rapunzel friendship and an Elsa/Merida romance. But I never really had any idea where that story would go. What finally pushed me to start the story is when Disney gave the world a key element that was missing from the story's set-up—namely, Moana. Having a fifth temperament to add to my ensemble was exactly what I needed. Where the story ultimately leads, I still don't know, but having Moana thrown into the mix will definitely take it much farther, and in many more directions, than I had originally planned.

Exactly how this story would be delivered has gone through a number of variations, ranging from kid-friendly to outright smut. I'm putting it somewhere in the middle… perhaps leaning toward the latter. Yeah, fair warning: I may have rated this story T, but I'm kind of pushing the limit of the rating as far as it goes. This is easily the most sex-driven story I've ever written (and with my fanfic résumé, that's saying a lot), and if I did it in a visual medium, it would certainly not get a T rating, because nudity. This is, technically, literature, and in my experience for whatever reason literature can have much more risqué content than other media of the same age range, I've long been shocked by what can be found in the "teen" section of my local libraries and bookstores, so… hoping that applies here. As I intend to play the sexual content more for comedy than fanservice, I hope that makes it more okay. But what do I know? Let's get this started.

PRINCESS PARTY: BOOK ONE

Day 1, Part 1

Elsa stood, still and silent, at the gates of Arendelle castle, her white hair in its customary French braid and topped by a newly-forged crown made just for the occasion, a large and stern-looking tiara of silver and diamonds. Her hands were clasped in front of her and her eyes on the far-off harbor, where two foreign ships had docked. Anna stood in her usual place to Elsa's right and slightly behind her, her hair also in a single braid much longer than Elsa's, eagerly scanning the crowds, standing on tiptoes and craning her neck as she twitchily, hungrily searched.

"Anna…" Elsa said gently. "You won't know her when you see her. You've never met Princess Rapunzel."

"Cousin Rapunzel," Anna corrected with a low growl. "And sure I have. She was at your coronation."

"Did you actually see her there?" Elsa challenged.

Anna blinked rapidly. "Well, she was there, so I'm sure I must have," she sniffed. Her eyes suddenly widened and she grasped Elsa's shoulder with one hand. "Oh! Remember, she's a brunette now! We shouldn't be searching for a blonde…"

"You never met her when she was a blonde, either," said Elsa, amusement beginning to creep into her voice.

"No, but I've been picturing a blonde all my life," Anna admitted. "Our cousin, the deified, very blonde, lost princess. It's a story that sticks with you. I need to get into the brunette-seeking mindset." She pressed her fingers to her temples, eyes closed, and hummed lightly. "Okay! Here I go!"

She grinned, and returned to scanning the crowd with renewed vigor.

~0~0~0~

One of the ships in the harbor was marked with a golden sun, the crest of the kingdom of Corona. It was moored and seemingly empty, but in one of the cabins below, Rapunzel shared a bunk with her husband, her body entangled around his beneath their blanket, her short-cropped dark hair decorated with a tiny side-braid.

A knock came at their cabin door. "Princess Rapunzel," a guard called out. "You do realize that we docked in Arendelle almost an hour ago?"

"Yeah," Rapunzel called back sleepily, lazily stretching her arms. "Sorry… we weren't quite done in here. We'll be out any moment now."

"Yes, your highness."

The guard's footsteps departed, slowly fading away. Rapunzel lifted her head and gazed into Eugene's face; he appeared to be completely asleep.

Rapunzel started toying with his lips, making them flap up and down as she imitated him in a nasal voice: "I'm Flynn Rider. I'm such a good lover."

Slowly and stealthily, still appearing to be asleep, he hooked his own fingers around Rapunzel's lips, putting on a falsetto voice: "I'm Rapunzel. I just lie there and do nothing."

"No I don't!" she laughed, playfully swatting his hand away. "You know I give it all I've got."

"Then why am I so tired?" he grumbled.

"Don't blame me for your terrible stamina, Eugene," she said. She rolled on top of him and they shared a prolonged, passionate kiss, the bed sheets bunching up around their bodies.

When the drawn-out kiss ended, he opened his eyes for the first time, only a little, staring deeply into hers. "I wanna have babies with you," he said softly.

"Well, we're on the right track," she said, snuggling close to him. "We just gotta keep doing this every single day."

"Every day, huh? That sounds like a lot of work."

"I kinda think I'm up for it," she assured him. "Maybe. Little bit."

He grabbed her lip again. "I looooove having sex with my husband!" he squeaked.

Rapunzel gave a little laugh. "You don't have to force me to say that." She snuggled closer to him. "We should probably get out of bed. My cousins are probably wondering why we haven't gotten off the ship yet."

"Yeah, we should," he agreed. Neither of them moved for several seconds.

"Some voyage, huh?" Rapunzel remarked. "Not much to do on a weeks-long boat trip but stay in bed with each other all day. As active as we've been, I wouldn't be at all surprised if I was rocking a little bit of a baby bump by the time we get back home."

"That would sure be something," Eugene said fondly. He reached up and gave her rear end a quick, tight squeeze.

"Eeee!" Rapunzel squeaked, jumping at the touch. Grabbing his lip yet again, she said, "I'm Flynn Rider and I'm a baby-making machine!"

As he chuckled at that, she flung herself out of bed, her naked, petite body almost shining in the sunlight through the porthole. Almost instantly, she slipped into a pair of frilly, lacy knickers, and picked out a neatly-folded burgundy dress which was draped across a chair.

"You know, you don't call me Flynn Rider very often," Eugene remarked, leaning to rest on his side. "Why do you, sometimes?"

"I've always thought of you as Eugene, ever since you first told me your story," she said, mostly fiddling with her dress rather than making any effort to start putting it on. He himself sat up and began pulling on his trousers. "But sometimes when we get really crazy in bed I see a lot of Flynn Rider in your eyes. The guy who… just wanted to take everything."

He froze in place, midway through clasping his belt.

"Don't worry," she said gently, touching his face. "In that context, it's… it's pretty hot." She winked.

"Huh," Eugene remarked. "Well, you've got better eyes than I do. When we're 'getting really crazy', I swear I can't see a thing. It's too much sensation, it's like my eyes just… shut down."

"Hmm," she said thoughtfully. "I suppose that's my fault. Sorry, I can't really help being an exceptionally gifted lover."

"No, you can't," he agreed standing up. He was holding his shirt, and she still held her dress in hand, but neither of them made a move to put these garments on, as though they didn't want to cover their eyes for even a moment. Eventually, Rapunzel set her dress aside and began helping him with the shirt.

"Of course," she said conversationally, "I had to become a good lover just to keep up with you."

"Don't patronize me, it's all you in there," he said with a grin, gesturing to the bed. "If I can be frank, what you did today was so exceptional that I've completely forgotten where this ship actually is and what we're doing here. It's like you just knocked it right out of my brain."

She giggled. "Really?"

"Not a clue," he confirmed. He pulled on a blue overcoat over his shirt, and they embraced, holding the hug for several seconds. "So," he said, looking her nearly-nude body up and down, "are you going out there in just your little frilly panties or what? Because I for one wholeheartedly support that, but it might be frowned upon here in… wherever we are."

She grumbled and hugged him tighter, pressing her face into his chest. "Getting dressed is hard. I don't wanna." She gazed up at his face. "Just one more little swirly before we go?"

He obliged, kissing her, swirling his tongue around inside her mouth just once before they parted.

"Mm, perfect," she said, a look of deep satisfaction in her eyes. "Okay, let's go."

She picked up the dress and pulled it over her head, while he sat down to get his boots on. Once her dress was fully straightened out, Rapunzel picked up her crown and placed it on her head.

"So… how do I look?" she said.

"Same as always," he said, beaming at her. "Pretty much perfect."

"Classy?" she asked, striking a few poses. "Elegant? Like I didn't just have sex?"

"But for the doofus-like grin on your face, I'd never guess," he said with utmost sincerity.

Rapunzel giggled. "All right, then. Get those boots on. We've got business in Arendelle."

The two of them picked up their wedding rings and slipped them on their fingers, before opening the cabin doors and stepping out in the open air.

~0~0~0~

The other foreign ship in the harbor was smaller, thinner, in a much older style. It bore a flag emblazoned with the sword symbol of Clan DunBroch.

Out of the ship and onto the docks came the queen and her daughter. Elinor wore her hair longer and looser than ever before, but still carried herself straight and with quiet dignity. Merida, however, was constantly dancing on the balls of her feet, her red mane as untamed as ever, and it seemed that every time a woman passed by, Merida whirled, nearly overextending her neck and losing her balance to get a good look at her.

About the fourth time this happened, right about as they had stepped off the docks and onto the streets, Elinor rolled her eyes and grasped the top of Merida's head, forcing her to face forward.

"Merida!" she scolded as she did so. "We're here to discuss peace and trade, not ogle women."

"Mum…" Merida said condescendingly. "I thought we'd gone over the whole 'I'm gay' thing. You said you were okay with it."

"I was…" Elinor said irritably, before catching herself and turning to face Merida, her tone now gentler, almost pleading. "I was. When I thought you'd be meeting a nice young lady and settling down with her. But ever since you came out, it seems all you've done is bring every young woman in DunBroch to your bedchambers."

"Er… no," Merida said awkwardly. "That's not true… I did some of them before I came out…"

"Regardless, it's shameful," said Elinor, beckoning that the pair of them should keep walking. "It doesn't matter how non-traditional a princess you're trying to be, Merida. No one, man or woman, should sleep around."

"Shameful, huh?" Merida said thoughtfully.

"I would say so," Elinor said firmly. "And an abuse of power."

"How's that, then?" Merida demanded, tilting her head.

Elinor looked at her reproachfully. "Most people aren't gay, Merida. Of all the maidens you've been with, how many do you think were genuinely attracted to you, and how many were only doing as you wished because you're the princess and they were afraid to refuse you?"

"Er… fifty-fifty?" Merida suggested with a forced grin. She slouched, staring at her feet. "See, I never thought of that. Maybe… maybe when we get back home I can send around some gift baskets to apologize."

"That seems like it would be in order. I'm glad we were able to get this out in the open."

"Yeah… thanks for bringin' it to my attention, Mum," Merida said sheepishly.

Another woman crossed their path, and Merida craned her neck at her. Elinor scoffed loudly.

"What, I can't even look?" Merida demanded.

~0~0~0~

~0~0~0~0~0~

AN: Yo, your author here. So let's talk a bit about this story's continuity.

I'm treating Rapunzel and Eugene's cameo in Frozen as canon. However, the common notion that the king and queen of Arendelle were going to Rapunzel's wedding on the voyage that claimed their lives, I'm not going with that… though I've just realized that at no point in the film does the king tell Elsa that they're going to a cousin's wedding, apparently that's just such a pervasive piece of fanon that I erroneously remembered it as actually being implied in the movie, when in fact the reason for the voyage is never canonically given. And I'm keeping it that way, because if they were going to Rapunzel's wedding that would mean Rapunzel was married three years before the events of Frozen, and I wanted Rapunzel and Anna to be the same age, so that would mean that their films were set in the same year. (that Tangled came out three years before Frozen creates a nice piece of symmetry, yes, but that's just not my style)

The short film Frozen Fever semi-explicitly takes place on July 21, 1840, Anna's nineteenth birthday, which would place the events of Frozen precisely a year earlier, in July of 1839. Now, Tangled is set in the 1780s, and Brave many centuries before that, and Moana a millennium or two before that, but… yeah, I'm gonna say all four films took place in the same year, 1839. We'll just assume Merida's Scotland is a bit more primitive than other nations, and that Moana's Polynesia has still never had any contact with outsiders, which might still be true in the 1840s, I dunno. Sounds plausible but not accurate. I'm taking a shot and going for it for the sake of telling a good story. All the films are loaded with stylistic anachronisms anyway, I'm not gonna sweat the accuracy too hard.

So, in this continuity, it's now March of 1841; more than one year but less than two have passed since the events of all four films. Oh, and incidentally, I'll be completely ignoring the entirety of the Tangled TV series. Don't get me wrong, it's very good, and I'll be watching as much of it as I possibly can (which is just clips on Youtube, but so far there've been a lot of those), but I've planned so much of this story already that I couldn't possibly integrate anything from the show. Just to get ahead of the curve, I'm going to say the same thing about the upcoming Frozen sequel, years away though it is.

I have lots of other things to say about the fic's setting, but that would produce an Author's Note longer than any chapter in the story, so I'll divide it up among many more notes throughout future chapters.