I do not own the Twilight Saga…Stephanie Meyer does :(
Nightmare
The ride home was silent; my birthday party was a disaster. Why did I have to be such an impossible klutz? Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward still clutching the bridge of his nose, every few minutes he would murmur something offhand to himself and shake his head. If I didn't know any better, I would think that he was practicing lines for a school play.
We pulled nosily onto the gravel drive, and he turned off the ignition. His hands were still holding the wheel in a death grip, reminding me of the time when my mom tried to get me to go with her for acupuncture. I asked him to stay and the indecisive look on his face told me that I was most likely not going to get my wish. I reminded him that it was still my birthday and, with a slight argument, he agreed.
Edward grabbed my gifts and disappeared into the darkness. I walked inside hoping that Charlie would be too preoccupied to notice my new injury, I really didn't want to explain how I received a giant gash on my arm at my birthday party. What was I supposed to say? I have never been too good at lying…Oh yeah this little, dinosaur of a slash. I got it when my vampire boyfriend threw me into some crystal plates and bowls so his vampire brother wouldn't eat me. Something in that explanation didn't really seem like something my father would believe.
Just as I was about to slip upstairs unseen, Charlie called my name. I walked into the living room where Charlie was lounging across the couch. We talked a while about my party; all the while I was trying to make my injured arm invisible. Of course nothing gets past Charlie, and he, just as I thought, questioned me. I made up some lame excuse about tripping, and rushed off upstairs, hopping that Edward kept his word.
Edward helped me open the rest of my gifts from his family. Carlisle and Esme got me tickets to visit my mom in Florida, and Edward made me a CD with my lullaby on it. Edward, being the overly anxious guy that he was, got me some Tylenol and tucked me into bed. We remained quiet for a while. I asked him what he was thinking and he told me that he was thinking about right and wrong. The sick feeling I had in the car was back, slightly less intense as before. Since I decided that my birthday was to be recognized that night, I got my second wish. Edward kissed me, tightening his fists in my hair and holding my face securely to his. His lips were urgent against mine and I crushed my body against him through the quilt.
Of course he apologized for "being out of line", and I of course didn't mind. As I drifted off to sleep, the thought of that kiss brought back some unpleasant memories. It reminded me of when he kissed me before heading off to throw James off my trail. The sick feeling returned full force as I closed my eyes surrendering to my dreams.
The next morning I woke up feeling like a thirty-ton truck ran me over and then backed over me. To make everything worse, Edward was acting distant and strange. Alice wasn't in school so my plans to ask her about Edward were crushed. Edward's uninterested attitude lasted throughout the whole day. The deafening silence that hovered around us was broken only when he was inquiring about my arm, and when I answered him with lies. I was relieved when he said he would come over, but my relief was quickly shattered upon seeing how indifferent he was about the idea.
Work seemed to drag on forever. Mike was, as usual, upbeat and friendly. I was glad when it was finally time for me to go home and immensely relieved when I saw Edward's car parked in front of my house. I hurried through the front door and into the living room. If I didn't know that something was wrong before, I definitely did now. Edward was sitting on the armchair, his eyes trained on the TV. He didn't even acknowledge my presence.
A full-fledged panic attack was forming in my chest. I flinched as I thought about what was the worst thing that could happen. So instead I thought about what was the worst I could live through. I didn't particularly like either thought. I decided to put my present from Charlie to good use. Charlie grumbled as I took a surprise picture from around the corner, Edward looked up with his face void of any emotion. We took a few pictures before Charlie decided it was enough and shoved the camera into the couch.
I asked Edward to stay again, even though I had no real hope that he would. I didn't even ask for a reason when he, just as I predicted, said that he couldn't. I barely slept that night; I got out of my bed at the first signs of light. After breakfast, I took some pictures of the house, the woods, and a few of my truck before shoving the camera into my bag. The ride to school left me time to think, or in my case hope, about Edward getting over his issues during the night.
Of course, when I arrived at school, he was just as cold as ever. A slight bit of irritation managed to breakthrough my fears. How long can his vampire depression last? His miserable attitude lasted all morning, nothing, not even Mr. Berty could hold my attention. To distract myself from Edward and his foul attitude, I leaned over the invisible lunch table line and asked Jessica to take some pictures of our friends. She ended up using the entire roll of film. I decided to drop the film off at the Thriftway before heading to work. I picked up the pictures after work and began filling my scrapbook.
The next morning Edward still wasn't any better, he may have actually been worse. I couldn't concentrate in school; the only thoughts that were running through my head were about how Edward and I really needed to talk. Edward asked if he could come over after school and of course I said yes, even though the voice in the back of my head was screaming at me to say no. He took the package I was going to send to my mom, and said that he would take it, something told me that it wasn't going to make it to Jacksonville.
I noticed he was in Charlie's spot when I arrived home, which meant he wasn't planning on staying. He took my backpack like he normally did, but a red flag went up as he thrust it back into my truck. He asked me to come take a walk with him; I just followed mutely along behind him, seeing as I couldn't find my voice. We walked a few steps into the trees; I could still see the house. Some walk.
He stopped and leaned against a tree, his face expressionless. I prepared myself, I knew something bad was coming, but I wasn't prepared for this. I just stared wide-eyed, and confused as he rattled off stupid explanations on why he was ripping my heart out. Then finally I understood, I wasn't good enough for him, he didn't want me. Who was I to be with a godly creature like him? I was nothing just a plain human girl, of course he wouldn't want me.
I promised that I would stay safe for Charlie, and he, in turn, promised that it would be as though he never existed. His words, I don't want you to come with me, echoed like a mantra in my head. He kissed me lightly on the forehead, and, just like that he was gone. It couldn't be over, I tried, however useless to follow him. I stumbled through the dense forest, falling often. If I stopped looking for him, then it would really be over. Day became night, and still I searched, without anything to guide me. Edward left no trail. I stumbled and fell for the last time, curling up in a ball on the damp forest floor.
I don't know how long I lay there; it could have been seconds, or hours. I heard my name being called, muffled from the distance, I knew I should have answered but a thick haze covered my brain. I closed my eyes after a while, and heard a snuffling, whatever the creature was, it sounded big. It didn't matter to me; I wasn't afraid, just numb. The snuffling went away after a while and it began to rain. I heard someone call my name, not searching, acknowledging that I had been found. He asked if I had been hurt, his question registered as odd to me but I just didn't care. His name was Sam Uley and he told me that Charlie had been looking for me all night.
The mention of Charlie struck something in me. We came out of the woods, where there was a search party waiting. Sam passed me off to my dad, telling him that I wasn't hurt. I didn't realize that I'd been saying he's gone out loud until Sam told my dad. Charlie managed to carry me to the couch, where Dr. Gerandy took a look at me. He gave me a clear bill of physical health and left. I managed to fall asleep only to be woken up every time the phone rang. I heard Charlie whispering on the phone to someone about bonfires. He explained that the kids in La Push were lighting bonfire because the Cullen's left.
Charlie kept asking me about what happened. Did he really have to keep using his name? Did he not see the enormous hole in my chest that stretched bigger every time his name was mentioned? I couldn't talk about it anymore, so I lurched off the couch and trudged up the stairs. I had a sneaking suspicion that the someone who left Charlie the note also went into my room. I ran into my room, locking the door behind me. I opened my CD player to find it empty; my album my mom gave me was completely empty of any pictures with him in it. I felt my knees impact the floor, my palms and cheek followed soon after. Unfortunately, I didn't lose consciousness, the waves of agony lapped at me before rearing up high and washing over my head, pulling me under. I did not resurface. The next few months passed in a blur.
Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.
Charlie tried to threaten my depression out of me, by saying that he was going to send me to Florida to live with my mom. My dull explanations on why I wanted to stay didn't matter to Charlie, we both knew the real reason I wanted to stay and it had nothing to do with the dry, sweltering heat in Florida. I told him that I was going out to the movies with Jessica and that seemed to placate him for the moment. Now I just needed to gather up the courage to ask her in the first place. Since the Cullen's left, I've barely spoken to my friends, I pretend they don't exist and they in turn pretend that I don't exist. It's a lovely non-existent relationship we have.
Fortunately for me, Jessica agreed to come to the movies, although I didn't know what was even playing at the time. She met me at my house after school and we drove to Port Angeles. Thankfully Jessica didn't need much interaction from me, she just kept blabbing on about who ever she was dating, who she dated, or who she planned to date in the future. I just nodded, gasped, and scoffed in the appropriate places, making her assume that I was paying attention.
The movie was supposed to be a horror film. Why was there all this disgusting mushy scenes? It was too much for me to handle, but that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was when I realized that I wasn't much better than the overly decorated, dramatic zombies in the movie. I didn't stay through the whole movie, my sudden realization became too much for me and I ran outside, which is where Jessica found me after the movie. We were headed toward McDonalds when I saw the guys, the same guys as before, at least I thought they were.
I began crossing the street towards the men who I thought harassed me on my last visit to Port Angeles. I was only half listening to Jessica's pleas, when I heard his voice. At first I thought I was crazy, so I took an experimental step toward the dangerous men. It worked; his god-like velvety voice rang sternly in my ears. His voice was pleading, the same as Jessica's, but his words were more severe. It didn't stop me. I wanted to hear his voice, no matter how much pain it would cause me in the future. I realized that the men I was walking towards were not the same men as before. Once the danger was gone, so was his voice. Just like that, I became an adrenaline junkie.
I tried to think of ways I could hear his voice again. Then whether it was a sign of fate, or just a wacky coincidence, I saw that the Markses' had two broken-down motorcycles on their front lawn. The youngest Marks son helped me load them into my truck. After calling Charlie and asking for directions, I headed down to Jacob's house in La Push. If I thought Charlie was thrilled about me going to La Push, Jacob was ecstatic. We went into the garage where he was working on his Rabbit. He agreed fairly quickly to help me with the bikes, and he even said that he would teach me to ride them.
Hanging out with Jacob was better than I ever thought it would be. We hung out almost every day. I met his friends Quil and Embry, I watched him work on the bikes, and I even laughed when I was with him. My new found blissfulness reconnected me with my friends from school; I was actually able to join into Angela's conversation about the bears she saw. Jake even made me feel better after I made the stupid decision to go to the Cullen's house.
After a while, he finished the bikes. I was elated; finally I would be able to hear Edward's voice again. We were driving down the road when I saw the forms of four men at the top of an elevated cliff. I pulled sharply to the side of the road after seeing one of them jump. I was ready to call the ambulance, when I heard Jacob laughing. He told me they were just cliff diving, it was Sam and the rest of his cult. Jacob explained to me how they were like hall monitors gone bad, and how Embry was now part of the gang. Jake seemed pretty worried about how Sam was looking at him, he didn't want to be next.
Jacob taught me how to ride my bike. Of course, being the klutz that I am, I crashed into a tree. But my reckless driving did have the desired effect; I heard Edward's furious voice growling in my head as I raced full speed toward dangerous objects. I tried not to think of the irony as Jacob held my hand in the hospital. It seemed that every time we would go riding, I would come home with a new injury. Charlie was beginning to become suspicious, so we decided to do something else for awhile. I needed another fix of Edward, so I suggested that we go hiking. I told Jake that I knew of a beautiful meadow that we could hike to, and fortunately he agreed. We didn't make it very far before we had to turn back, but we decided to try again. I invited Jake to come with a group of my friends to go see a movie, it turned out that only Mike could make it. Jacob finished his car, so he was our driver for that evening. That night turned out to be a disaster. Mike got sick during the movie, and Jacob said that he was feeling strange.
Jacob said that he would call when he got home, and I was worried when he didn't, so I called his house. Billy answered sounding strange, but he said that Jake was sick and that I should stay home until he was feeling better. I got sick later that evening as well, but I was back to normal after a few days. I called Jake and Billy said that he was still sick. Seeing as sitting around and calling Jake every two seconds wasn't helping, I decided to hike to the meadow alone.
The meadow didn't feel the same as I thought it would. It was crushing, how could I let myself get my hopes up? I was on my knees holding myself together when I saw a figure appear from behind the trees. It took me only a moment to recognize him as Laurent. I was over the moon about seeing a familiar vampire face. That is until I learned why he was there. He said he was there as a favor to Victoria, Edward was there with me in the meadow as I stared death in the face, he was telling me to lie to the bloodthirsty man in front of me. I tried to lie the best I could, but he was just to adamant on my death. Edward, I love you, I thought just as he was about to strike. Something stopped him though, I couldn't see what.
Just then, five huge wolves stepped out from behind the trees. Their lips pulled back over their razor sharp teeth. I was scared, but it didn't seem like the wolves had any interest in me, except for the familiar russet brown one who stopped to look at me before taking after the fleeing Laurent. Without a second thought, I ran as fast as I could out of the forest and into my car. I told Charlie about the wolves and he phoned it into the precinct. To tell the truth, I was more worried about Laurent and Victoria finding me than any freaky wolves on steroids. Days past without any signs the two lethal vampires, I was always pleasantly surprised to find myself alive every morning.
Once the surprise and terror went away, I would realize once again that I missed Jacob terribly. I tried telling Charlie about what Jake said about Sam Uley and his disciples, but he wouldn't hear anything of it. He, like the rest of the adults in La Push, adored Sam and everything he did. I tried calling Jacob again and again over the next few weeks to no avail. Billy would always answer, having one excuse or another about why Jake couldn't come to the phone. The final straw was drawn when Billy informed me that Jake was out with friends, namely Embry. I decided that calling was getting me nowhere, so I hopped in my truck and went to pay my old friend Jacob Black a visit. Along the way I met Quil, he was walking alongside the road so I offered him a ride. He said that he had been following Jacob and Embry but they disappeared into the trees. I dropped him off and he wished me good luck on talking to Jake.
I didn't have to wait long in my truck before Jacob tapped sharply on my window. His face was hard and blank, and his beautiful hair was cropped short. I almost didn't believe it was him. He demanded to know what I wanted, and seemed vicious when I said I wanted to talk to him alone. We walked for a while before he decided it was time to "get this over with". He told me how I was wrong about Sam and the others, and that Sam was just trying to help. I couldn't believe that he was defending the man that he couldn't stand a few weeks earlier. Of course I just had to set myself up for disaster when I screamed at him to tell me whose fault it was that he started acting this way. The breath went whooshing out of my lungs when he growled with complete hatred, "Why don't you point your finger at those filthy, reeking bloodsuckers that you love so much?" I tried to play dumb, but Jake was having none of that, he believed everything now. Everything he said was just superstitions was now suddenly real for him I couldn't deny anything.
For some reason Edward's voice was back, cautioning me to not push Jacob. I didn't understand it was just Jake; he wasn't a threat to me. Jacob said that there was nothing more to say and started to lop back toward my parked truck. I disagreed, there was everything left to say. I threw Quil's fear about being next in his face, making him pause mid-step. He looked pained, but he still wouldn't relent, he just kept on telling me to go home, he couldn't hang out with me anymore. I began to blame myself for not being ready to have a relationship with him, but he silenced me with the classic saying, "it's not you it's me". He kept telling me how he wasn't good for me anymore, how he wasn't a "good kid" anymore. It started to drizzle as he whispered I'm sorry one last time before running into the house.
I just stood there numb, letting the rain hit my face and run into my eyes. I heard the door open and I turned hoping it was Jacob. Of course it wasn't, it was Billy telling me that he told Charlie I was on my way home. I climbed numbly into my truck, and drove away. I kept telling myself that this wasn't as bad…but it was bad enough. I returned home to see Charlie waiting for me; he looked horrified by what he saw. I was back to being a zombie, I had nothing left anymore; my body was riddled with holes, like Swiss cheese. I went upstairs to change and shower, by the time I was finished, Charlie was on the phone with Billy. It seemed that Billy was blaming me for whatever was happening; I couldn't listen anymore, so I went to bed.
I woke up sometime later to the sound of something scratching against my window. My first thoughts were that Laurent or Victoria found me. I went cautiously to the window, to find Jake trying to climb through. He jumped in and, through his huffing and puffing, tried to tell me that he was keeping his promise. I was furious that he would just come over and act like he never hurt me in the first place. I stubbornly refused to accept his apology, but he pushed on trying to tell me something that wouldn't come out. All of a sudden, he got an idea; I could try to guess what his secret was. I was so tired that none of his babbling made any sense. He told me to sleep on it and to at least call him when I figured it out. Jacob actually thought that his secret was so bad that I wouldn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. With a little more pleading for me to remember, he leap back through the window.
When I was finally able to fall asleep, I had the same dream I had before, the one where Edward comes from a halo of light in-between the forest trees, his eyes black and dangerous. The dream when Jacob drops to the forest floor, his shape shifting from my friend Jake, into the familiar russet brown wolf from the meadow. I work up screaming half expecting Charlie to come check on me. Once I got myself under control, I began to remember what Jacob had said that day we walked on the beach. He told me the story about how Quileutes were descended from wolves. Jacob and his friends were werewolves, it was difficult for me to imagine. What kind of town was this, we had vampires in the seclude mansion, werewolves roaming our forests, next thing you know, big foot's going to be driving the ice cream truck. I shook those odd thoughts from my head, and they were quickly replaced with the thoughts of the missing hikers. Could Jake and his pack be responsible for their deaths?
I needed to see Jake as soon as possible. I went downstairs to find Charlie getting ready to leave. He was going to hunt the wolves; it seemed that there was yet another missing hiker. I definitely needed to see Jake. I rushed out, barely saying anything to Charlie. I found myself in front of Jacob's house, there were no lights on inside. I could care less if I woke them, so I pounded angrily on the door. Billy told me to come in, I asked him where Jake was and he lied straight-faced, saying that he didn't know. He told me only after I told him what Charlie was doing today. Unfortunately Jake was still asleep, so I told Billy to tell him that I was waiting on the beach for him. I aimlessly paced the beach, waiting until Jacob woke up.
He came noiselessly up behind me after a while, making me jump. I told him that I remembered the story, and I tried to warn him about the rangers and hunters, but he already knew. He made some off-hand comment about how they would start disappearing soon enough anyway, that they really didn't need to be worried about them. I was appalled, how could he say that? Charlie was out there. I couldn't understand how he could be so nonchalant about killing people. He was so defensive when I told him what he was doing was wrong; did he really think he could justify what his pack was doing? It turned out that it was all just a misunderstanding; he thought that I was disgusted with him for being a werewolf. We cleared up our thoughts and I found out that it wasn't the wolves that were killing people, it was a vampire. Jacob said that his pack was hunting Victoria because they already killed Laurent. I was confused, how could his pack kill Laurent? Vampires were hard like stone, and fast. According to Jake, Laurent didn't stand a chance against a pack as big as his.
He told me about how Victoria was still coming around, but they didn't know why. Of course I did, and it scared me more than anything. I explained why Victoria was after me, mate for mate, and Jacob said that he needed to tell the others. He left me in the car and jogged off towards the woods, returning minutes later. I told him about the some of the Cullen's extra abilities, and he told me how the packs minds are linked. I went with him to tell his "brothers" about why Victoria kept coming back. He said that they were going to be mad, so I cowered behind him expecting to see the giant wolves from the meadow, but that wasn't the case, I only saw four really big, half naked guys. The moment they saw me there, they became furious. Paul the boy with the anger management issues pushed forward demanding Jacob to tell them what he had done. They didn't even give him a chance to explain how I could help before Paul burst into a giant sliver wolf.
One second Jacob was beside me, and the next he erupted into the russet wolf from the meadow and slammed into Paul sending him flying back into the trees behind him. I looked on in horror as Sam told Embry and Jared to take me to Emily's. They joked the whole way there; the two of them had no concern for Jake's safety. We got to Emily's house and I saw firsthand about what Jake was talking about when he said it could be dangerous to hang out with him.
Sam, Paul, and Jacob returned after awhile. Jake and Paul were joking and shoving each other. Once everyone got settled, Sam quieted everyone down for Jacob's big announcement. They stared at me wide eyed, and open mouthed when Jacob said Victoria was after me, I just sat there quietly and shivered whenever they mentioned Victoria's name. The pack assured me that I was safe, and that they were going to end Victoria, I shuttered at the thought. Charlie came down to La Push for dinner, and stared suspiciously at Jake and me the whole night. When we got home the interrogation began, I explained that no one could really understand the minds of the male race which seemed to pacify him for now. That night I dreamed of a forest again, only this time I was holding Emily's scarred hand as we waited anxiously for our werewolves to come home.
The next few weeks passed effortlessly now that I knew Jake's secret. It was spring break once again for Forks High. I mostly hung out on First Beach, sometimes with Jake, and sometimes he would be tired or running patrol. We talked about the worst and best parts of being a wolf; his favorite part was of course the speed. I told him all about what happened with James. We were trying to think of things to do, when Jacob suddenly started shouting about another promise he wanted to keep. It was decided then, we were going to go cliff diving.
I woke early the next morning and snuck an extra pair of clothes into my truck. When I got to Jacob's house, Billy said that he was running patrol. I couldn't stand being indoors so I told Billy to let Jacob know that I was going to the beach…again. I knew once I arrive at the beach that I wasn't going to stay there, I was promised cliff diving, so that was exactly what I was going to do. I hopped back into my truck and made my way to the trail that led to the cliffs. I didn't know where the lower point was, but at the time it didn't matter, I wanted to jump from the top. It would be the stupidest, most reckless thing I would have done yet. I had a feeling that a storm was approaching, rain lashed against my face as I stared down the cliff side.
My toes were edging along the rocky cliff ledge when I heard Edward's voice. He was pleading with me to not jump. I answered him in my head; you wanted me to be human. Well, watch me. I told him that it was the only way he would stay with me, but still he pleaded. I rolled up onto the balls of my feet and heard his protesting growls. I lifted my arms up, and raised my face to the rainy sky before flinging myself off the cliff. I screamed on the way down, though not in terror, after all this was recreation not suicide. I plunged into the frigid water wondering where the challenge was in all this, that's when the current caught me. I struggled against the waves, Edward's voice begging me to keep swimming. I didn't know where to swim to, my body was beginning to feel the cold, my adrenaline was wearing off and I was starting to give up. Edward's voice was still demanding in my head as my ears began to fill with water. The current won at that moment, slamming me into something unknown. The breath whooshed out of my lungs sending large silver bubbles of oxygen to the surface. Water flooded down my throat, choking and burning. I was being pulled further and further away from Edward, deeper into the dark, to the ocean floor. Goodbye, I love you, was my last thought.
Somehow at that moment, my head broke the surface. I was dazed, I thought I had died. Something warm was pushing the water from my lungs. My brain began to register what was going on, and I realized that the warm something was actually Jacob's hand. I heard him yelling at me to breath, and I heard his relieved sigh when I actually did. He picked me up and carried me to his house after telling Sam that he should go back to the hospital. It turned out that while Jake and his pack were patrolling, Harry Clearwater had a heart attack. I felt incredibly stupid. I repeatedly apologized to Jake. I asked him how he found me and he said that he came to look for me after Victoria took off into the water, and he heard me scream.
We arrived at his house and he threw a pile of grey cotton at me, which I was too tired to put on. We both fell asleep after only a couple of minutes. We woke as Billy came home with the bad news, Harry had died. I immediately knew that I had to get home to Charlie who would be devastated. Jacob went to get my truck so he could drive me home. My head was full of conflicting thoughts as we drove silently to my house. Could I be happy with Jake? Could I commit to him with what little commitment I had left? My thoughts lasted until Jacob stopped outside my house. He crushed me into a hug, rambling on about how he didn't mind that I didn't feel the same way about him, at least I thought I didn't. I wished I could get a sign telling me if being with Jacob was the right thing to do. Suddenly, Edward's voice filled my head, be happy, he said causing me to stiffen giving Jake the wrong idea.
The stormy air blew through the cab of my truck as I opened the door. Jacob freaked pulling the door shut, the air escaping his lungs in a long gust. He said he smelled a vampire. I looked around cautiously, and spotted Carlisle's car. I told Jake to stop the car, and I leap out and raced for the door ignoring Jacob's warnings. I opened the door and the lights blinked on. There before me was Alice, I launched myself at her blubbering like a baby. She seemed peeved, which I found out was because she saw me jump and disappear, when I actually just jumped and got rescued. I explained everything to her, about how Jake was a werewolf, and Victoria, and about Harry dying. After explaining everything, I thought she was going to leave, my fingers tightened around her shirt. She told me that she wasn't going anywhere and then proceeded to tell me how horrid I looked, ah the same old Alice.
The phone rang and I expected it to be Charlie, it wasn't, it was Jake calling to make sure I was still alive. Once he knew his answer, he hung up. I convinced Alice to stay the night at my house. She needed to get clothes and hunt, so she left me for an hour, which I used to shower and make Charlie dinner. By the time I was finished, Alice was back. She told me all about what was going on with her family, we never really talked much about who I wanted to talk about and I was kind of grateful for that. Charlie came home soon after that, his eyes were too the ground and his shoulders slumped. I don't think he even knew I was there until I hugged him around the waist. He embraced me back fiercely. He agreed that Alice could stay. Even though I wanted to stay awake, near-death experiences made me tired and I eventually fell asleep.
I woke to the sound of voices in the kitchen. Charlie was telling Alice how bad it was when they left. I felt horribly, I wasn't fooling anyone. He told her everything, how I was catatonic, I threw fits, I was empty inside. He told her how I broke all my CDs and never listened to music, how I would just avoid everything that reminded me of him. Alice was apologetic, but Charlie didn't blame her of course, we all knew who he blamed. I think he enjoyed telling Alice about how I was with Jake; I think he wanted her to pass on the message. I found out that Edward was in South America, which pleased Charlie. I waited and once I was pretty sure they weren't going to say anymore about Edward I decide it was time for me to actually get up. Charlie left us for the day and turned in early that night. Harry's funeral was early the next morning and when he came downstairs I had to hold in my laughter. The suit he was wearing was too tight, the jacket hung open; I guessed it was too tight to fasten the buttons.
We had the whole day to ourselves again and I decided that it was time for me to catch up on some housework. I was scrubbing the tub when the doorbell rang. Alice realized that she couldn't see werewolves, because she couldn't see who was at the door. She left me to answer the door. It was, just as Alice guessed, Jacob. I looked passed him to where his Rabbit idled on the curb, Jared at the wheel and Embry in the passenger seat. I lead him inside, and he followed me into the kitchen. The angry, cold Jacob was back and he was making me uncomfortable. He was asking me questions about who was staying and whether or not the rest of the Cullen's were coming back. I was angry with him, I yelled at him to go run and tell Sam. He calmly left the kitchen; I turned toward the sink, burying my face in my hands.
Suddenly Jake was back, or he never left. He was sorry, he promised that he would never hurt me but he did. He told me that I couldn't be friends with the Cullen's and him at the same time, which only upset me further, though he did promise that he would always be my best friend even though I love the Cullen's too. He grabbed me into a hug, and then stared me in the face. I didn't want him to leave. He leaned down, his face inching closer to mine. No, I thought, I wasn't ready for this. Of course my brain started working overtime; maybe it would be easy—like holding hands or having his arms around me. But at the same time, it felt like a betrayal, a betrayal to whom, I'm not entirely sure. Thankfully the shrill sound of the phone broke me from my thoughts. Jacob answered his voice intense. His entire demeanor changed as the person on the other end spoke. He told them that Charlie was at the funeral before rudely hanging up. I demanded to know who was on the phone; he told me it was Carlisle. Alice told a different story, she said it was Edward calling and that Jacob's talk about the funeral only confirmed my suspected death.
I was furious; I had been a few meters away from Edward's voice. Alice said that we needed to get to Volterra before Edward went to the Volturi to die too. Before I knew it, I was rushing out the door calling after me for Jacob to take care of Charlie. Alice squealed the tires against the pavement as we tore down the road. We made the flight with seconds to spare. Alice spent almost the entire flight with her eyes closed trying to see Edward's decisions. She did explain how I was the only person that could save him because Edward would think his family was lying with their thoughts. She explained the Volturi to me, how they protect the secret. We had to run to make our connecting flight, which was better than waiting. As soon as we were in our seats, Alice slid back into the same stupor she was in before. A while after I'd fallen asleep, Alice woke me to tell me that the Volturi thought Edward was too valuable to kill. We talked some more, mostly about her visions. She said that it was difficult to see what was going on. She said that the idea of me becoming a vampire was becoming beyond ridiculous, and that she was debating to just change me herself. Alice told me that I had too much faith in her because I told her that I would take my chances in her changing me even after she said that she didn't know if she could.
A while later, she saw the Volturi actually telling Edward no. Then Alice's visions blurred before her eyes, Edward was changing his mind too often for her to get a good enough reading on him. It seemed that for now Edward was going for the simple plan; he was going to step into the sunlight underneath the clock tower at noon. Our flight landed and Alice escaped, returning with a bright yellow Porsche. We raced our way through the streets, the distant city of Volterra inching closer.
Finally we began the steep climb into the city. The roads grew congested; there were people and cars everywhere. Apparently there was a festival today, great just what we need, Edward to have a bigger audience. Alice couldn't see what the guard was going to decide so she told me to remember, Palazzo dei Priori, or the clock tower, so I could ask the people in the crowds to point me in the right direction. We pulled up to the guard who took a double take once he saw Alice. She explained how we were a private tour and handed him a thick roll of money. I glanced at the clock on the dashboard; we had five minutes left before Edward stepped into the sun.
I had the door open before Alice even stopped the car. I ran as fast as I could through the crowded streets. I pushed people out of the way, barely even hearing their angry exclamations. I flung myself into the fountain, and ran as quickly as I could to the other side. The people moved more readily out of my way now due to the icy water that splashed off my pants as I raced by. I was almost there; I could see the clock tower clearly through the crowd. Suddenly the clock chimed, I screamed Edward's name, but it was drown out by the sounds of the chiming clock. I saw a family of four by the mouth of a little alley way, the little girl giggled and pointed into the darkness. At that point I could see Edward; I realized that my visions of him didn't do him justice. He was even more angelic than I remembered, and suddenly, the last seven months didn't matter. I was closer now, I heard the little girl whispering to her mother. The clock tolled again as I burst into the alleyway and smashed right into Edward.
He caught me in his arms and slowly opened his eyes. He stared down at me in amazement. He thought we were both dead. I tried to convince him that we were both still alive, but he only listened when I mentioned the Volturi. Comprehension flicker across his face, and I found myself with my back pressed against the brick wall, Edward standing tense, and protectively in front of me. Suddenly, two men appeared from the shadows, their names were Felix and Demetri. They said they didn't want to make a scene and that Edward and I needed to follow them. There was almost going to be a fight before Alice appeared out of nowhere. She reminded them that they weren't alone; the small family was staring at us. Demetri suggested we discuss this more privately, but again Edward refused. That's when another member of the Volturi joined us, I thought it was a boy at first but once their hood was removed I saw it was a small girl. Her name was Jane and I knew something was up when I heard Edward sigh in resignation.
We followed Jane down the alley. Alice was explaining to Edward what exactly had happened. I just flushed with embarrassment. We came to a small open hole in the street. Alice slid down first, and then Edward dropped me down into Alice's waiting arms, before joining us in the damp underground tunnel. We followed after Jane, Felix kept sighing every so often, obviously aggravated by my slow human pace. I clutched onto Edward even though I was freezing cold, I realized that this may be the only reunion we would get. Jane led us through a series of thick doors. I relaxed automatically when we stepped into brightly lit hallway. Edward tensed as we walked into the hallway; he was staring off to the other end where another figure stood beside an elevator. We all packed into the elevator, the members of the Volturi relaxed further once the elevator doors slid closed. The ride was short, and the doors opened up into a reception area. The woman behind the desk greeted us, and I realized that she was human.
A boy that looked like Jane's twin greeted us when we went through yet another set of thick doors. We were lead once again through cold underground tunnels, and into what looked like a throne room. A man named Aro was waiting for us, and he seemed especially delighted to see Alice and me there. He sent Jane out to get his brothers. I was slightly puzzled to find that Aro knew almost everything about me and Alice, until Edward explained that he can read every thought a person's had by touching them. At that point, Aro's brothers Marcus and Caius came in. Marcus told Aro that he was surprised by the intensity of my relationship with Edward. Aro said something about La tua cantante, but I didn't understand what he was talking about. He told Edward that he couldn't understand how Edward could be so close to me, but Edward told him that opportunity costs. They talked about Carlisle for sometime before Aro asked if he could test his powers on me. I saw Edward's smug face once Aro learned that they did not work.
Aro decided that Jane should test her powers on me, which caused Edward to growl and leap in front of me. Before I could do anything, Edward was on the ground writhing in pain. I screamed at her to stop, and Aro stopped her telling her to turn her gaze on me. Edward sprang from the ground and stared horror struck at me; I turned to see Jane glaring at me. I cringed back waiting for the pain, but it never came. Jane's evil smiling face turned into a bitter grimace, but Aro laughed. He offered us to join his family, which we all politely refused. Caius said that I needed to be destroyed, that I knew too much. Aro agreed, but said that if Edward were too turn me into a vampire that we could all leave. Edward remained silent, staring at me with a tortured expression. Alice stepped up, her arm raised. Aro met her halfway and took her hand. After a minute, he laughed. Alice had shown him the vision she had of me becoming a vampire. Aro said that we could leave, even after Caius started complaining. He said that he was curious about how I would turn out and that we should visit soon. We were almost out the door when Caius warned us that they would check up on me to make sure I become a vampire.
Demetri showed us back out into the reception area, telling us that we couldn't leave until dark. I asked Edward about the human receptionist, Gianna. He said that she hoped they would change her when the time came. It seemed like the only thing I could do was cry. I stared into his beautiful face and realized that he was actually there with me, which only started a whole new round of hysterics. Millions of questions bubbled to the surface, but I held my tongue not wanting to ruin this moment. I sat quietly in his arms rememorizing his face. Alice's voice broke the silence, she asked him about what Aro had said about singers. Edward explained how La tua cantante meant that my blood sang to him, it was much sweeter to him than anyone else's blood.
Alec entered a while later, telling us that we were free to go. Alice left us to go steal another car; it wasn't a Porsche this time, which disappointed her. Edward promised to get her one for Christmas. The flights home were quiet, Edward was hoping I would sleep, or maybe he just didn't have anything to say. The rest of the Cullen's were waiting at the airport for us. Esme and Carlisle both thanked me for going to get Edward, and Jasper went straight to Alice. Rosalie and Emmett were waiting outside by the cars. Edward and I rode with Emmett and Rosalie. In the car, Rosalie apologized for telling Edward I was dead, and of course I accepted, it was the first time she had spoken directly to me. We pulled up to my house and Charlie was outside in the blink of an eye. He was yelling at Edward to get away from me. Edward tried to pass me to Charlie, but I wouldn't let go of his shirt. Charlie let Edward take me upstairs. Edward promised he wouldn't be far. The last thing I felt was Edward's cool hands prying my fingers loose from his shirt.