It was once the duty of every matriarch of power to have a successor. Someone who she had trained or, preferably, raised in some fashion. Someone that knew her, shared with her, and joined with her. Someone that could lead her followers on. To keep the path clear and tended, to seek and soothe those whose path strayed, to beckon to others through the deep darkness of the night. Benezia's sight drifted out the open window to the view of Lake Plastirae, Thessia's soil dotted like the starry heavens above and considered. As a matron she had no child, and while she spent time with her sister's children Benezia had not raised them. She would not choose any of them even so, they were not prepared. They could not protect or justly guide her followers. They could not speak with the matriarchs or councilor with wisdom earned.
Below, in the ballrooms, a small party which had seen Benezia's grace continued after she retired. Strings and drums drifted through the compound and she swayed gently to the beat.
Perhaps one of her own followers would be best. Ylane had been with her for centuries, was her assistant. Slow to anger and of sound heart. But ultimately she would not protect them from outside attack. Benezia almost gave a snort at the very Atheytian thought. Always about fighting. The only other person she would dare trust with this was Shiala. Quiet and thoughtful, more than capable of protecting and justly presiding over their followers. Yet she did not fully comprehend what Benezia saw, her plans. Shiala was not a long term thinker or politick. This time Benezia did snort. Shiala would also have no problem ousting Aethyta from them all, and would probably send a gift basket afterwards. Could Ylane and Aethyta come to a balance, or would Ylane allow the turbulent waters to carry her on?
As a rough hand gently brushed across her shoulders Benezia allowed herself to smile even through her insecurity. Of course her bond mate would wish to check on her and of course hiding away without candles or sound would not fool her. A veteran commando with mercenary background who, as a side note, still trained some of the Justicars. If Aethyta wished to track you, one could not hide and if she wished to steal up on you, it was best to simply assume she'd appear nearly anywhere you hoped she wouldn't. The summer breeze pushed Benezia's shawl and pulled at her skirt, Aethyta wrapped her arms around her mate and toyed with the silver belly chain hanging low on her abdomen.
Quiet and assuming nothing, demanding nothing, but asking everything.
And some Asari could not believe that Aethyta had a gentle bone to her.
They stood together and simply watched and the bonfires died down on the ground, and the distant lake's shadowy movements under their moonless sky. Aethyta touched and kissed to calm her. Benezia struggled to find the words. Together for nearly a century now, and Benezia had refused to have or give children. Aethyta had begged, argued, pleaded, and threatened after the first few decades; she had wanted nothing more than to raise a child with Benezia. A little piece of you running around, a beautiful daughter, what more could you want? So much more! It had nearly torn them apart before Aethyta had acquiesced to Benezia's demands. Yet here they were again, reversed in roles but where they reversed in desires?
A child could grow under her careful eye and direction. She would be raised understanding the unity and religion, tempered with biotic and political training. Ten years working the plantation, another five as a Republic Guard, she would have to speak as many Asari dialects as possible and probably a few Salarian cants and Turian Highspeak. Personal lessons and private tutors, perhaps a degree or two through Serrice in Intergalactic Policy, a Divinity Degree, Finances, Business Administration, or something else entirely that she hadn't thought of yet. But education was paramount to success. An Athamist with Siari as a guiding hand. Kind with a ruthless streak to defend. Could she have all of this in one person, one child, if that child was hers?
Could she truly have a daughter for the sole purpose of guiding her followers in a few hundred years?
Benezia allowed her hands to drift backwards, over her lover's hands and hips. Her own smile mirroring the one she felt on her neck. Benezia sighed and relaxed into Aethyta's body, enjoying her heat and a bare breast pressed into her back. Turning slowly Benezia met Aethyta's brown eyes and smug grin with a chaste kiss, designed more for her amusement than anything else. It paid off as the slightly shorter Asari huffed into it. Touching their foreheads and playing with the very loose fitting red tunic Aethyta wore Benezia found her mind snap back to the problem at hand.
This may no longer be the ancients' time, but Benezia felt the responsibility of her ever growing acolytes and followers. The thought of them dissipating and scattered in the winds left her cold. A family torn asunder by the ill luck of their matriarch passing, all they had worked for lost in the span of a millennium. For a brief moment Benezia saw Aethyta rise up to the task and step forth with the bearing and sober countenance of the position. Promptly followed by the image of Shiala standing outside the gate with nothing but a farewell basket and a glare as Aethyta smoothly locked the gate.
"What?" Aethyta asked with a slight laugh to her own voice. "You think I'm funny or something?"
Benezia quelled her soft giggling and dropped her head down to kiss her shoulder. "Always."
The warm chuckling of her bond mate vibrated in Benezia's chest as they pulled one another closer. Purple hands gently twisting the silk shawl, blue hands running just under the hem of the sheer tunic. Soft smiles in their dark little room. Before things could be pulled into pleasures, Benezia pulled back. Her eyes serious she decided to simply be as her mate would be.
"I want to have a child."
Aethyta's warm eyes seemed to freeze, her smile almost tossed away. Benezia felt her heart break and her very soul seemed to scream.
"Fuck." Aethyta extracted herself from their embrace, one hand lifted to rub at her brow as the other firmly planted on her hip.
"I know." Benezia nearly whispered as she dipped her head, counting to control her breathing hoping to explain herself further even as the words wouldn't come. She watched as her lover suddenly began to pace, her footsteps muffled by the coarse woven rug, and could see the thoughts chasing and crashing into one another in her mind.
"What brought this on Benezia? Why now?" Aethyta asked even as she walked to retrieve the water glass she'd left on the console table. Before she could answer, Aethyta continued on nearly slamming the glass back down. "Because I know that you did not want a kid even just a few decades ago, and not that much has passed. Is this because of Niraill and her little babe? Goddess help us both if it was Kina and her stupid comment about what we'll do without you."
As Benezia frowned slightly, Aethyta groaned, "I will kill Kina, and then you and I will talk about why having a daughter simply to force her along some path is wrong."
"Will you let me speak, or will you assume all?" Benezia spoke coldly and fiercely, and with the terror that this would break them.
For a moment Aethyta looked ready to scream, then her scowl crumpled and she kneeled with head bowed. Benezia moved quickly to her and dropped down as well. Aethyta was spun glass protected by a shield of stone and fire, her words could be sharpened spears flung from spring petal. Her fragile bond mate's shield dropped, and her pain radiated. And Benezia accepted that pain into herself, this decision not made with Aethyta at all, using her like a tool. With the words spoken Benezia wished she could pull them back or find the wisdom to place them again with a gentler hand. Aethyta could be hot headed and impulsive, but so too could Benezia.
"My reasons…my reasons are not good. In this I know little and less, and I fight to hold the ocean in my hands. But still, I want a child, a daughter of my own. Kina only brought forth what I have already considered, what I have already feared, so leave her at peace this night." Benezia spoke softly but was careful to not touch that which she had already hurt. Aethyta's gaze finally lifted once more and the two seemed frozen to the world. "I ask for your guidance, your experience, and your love."
Aethyta's hands hesitantly reached out and held her own.
"This is not something we have to decide or do tonight, I ask you to consider it." Benezia ducked her head slightly.
"I thought you wanted my memories and love or something, now I have to consider it?" Aethyta's weak smile did not prevent Benezia from feeling a sting at her flippancy.
"Please be serious, please do not wave away my desires with wit."
"I'm sorry, I'm just…shit…give me time?" Aethyta asked.
"All the time you require, as I said we do not need to decide or do this tonight." Benezia felt herself settle, a mere promise for consideration had never been so visceral for her.
"Do?" Aethyta blinked slowly before a small unsure grin came to her again. "You mean that?"
"Mean what?" Benezia's brow furrowed.
"That I'd be her father, that you won't just choose someone else, she'd be my daughter too." The words rushed out. Aethyta's small smile was all that kept Benezia from crying or storming from the room, hurt again that her mate would even assume that she might not be the father. Who else would Benezia go to? Who else would temper her and her child? Who else would understand?
"Of course she would be your child." Almost breathless Benezia hid her pain and her fear.
Silent once more hands traced along her jaw and shoulders, pulled her to sit with her back to Aethyta once more, held her close as their owner shook. Benezia's gaze drifted once more out the window this time towards the stars.