Here's my newest story. It's probably going to be around a two-shot. This takes place... never mind. Chad tells you everything you need to know. Except that Chad's stunt double's name is going to be wrong a lot! So if there's a character that you're like "Who is he?!" Just assume it's Tim, Chad's stunt double. The next chapter is going to be longer. So that's it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Sonny and I broke up. There. I said it. It was blunt and it hurt but it had to be said. There's where my story starts. As everyone knows, Sonny and I were the "it couple." You know the one that all the press wanted and spread rumors. We were happy (well, I thought so) and it was going great. Until that one Friday...I was going to pick her up that night, but before I could she said we're done or something like that. It was really awkward at work but it's been getting better, I suppose. Anyway, after the break up, I hit rock bottom. My world sucked and crashed around me. My directors made me have a "mandatory break" from the Falls. So instead of taking a vacation (like everyone else did), I pretty much moped in my room. I didn't come out until...I don't remember...it was a long time...
So here we are. Yesterday, my director said that I needed a stunt double so I didn't get hurt. Bull crap, Chad Dylan Cooper didn't need one of those things. He was a man who can never die! Got that America?! Good, good, now that we're all on the same page. Let's start.
I walk up to my director to get today's schedule. You know, what scenes I have to film and all the stuff.

"Chad, how are you today?" asks what's-is-name. Shoot, what the heck is that guy's name?

"Alright," I reply, looking at the variety of food at the table.

"Do you remember what today is?"

I look at him for a long time. "Is this a trick question?" I ask.

What's-is-name laughs. "You always were a funny kid, you know that?"

"I've been told." I have no idea what he's talking about. Was there something to do today other then acting...? Oh yeah, right, the new kid, the stunt double. Oh joy!

"You're going to meet your stunt double today."

"Oh, that's great." I do not want to have this conversation. Please, let me leave! I beg you, what's-your-name.

"Do you want to meet him now?"

"Sure," I reply. Yeah, sure, I've been dying to meet him...not!

"Timothy, come out," my director calls.

"Hi," says a boy, it must be Timothy.

"Timothy, Chad," says WHN. "Chad, Timothy."

"Great to meet you," says Timothy. The boy looks about fourteen, and is about the same height, which kind of scares me, just a little on the inside.

"Hi," I say, and shake the kid's hand. See, even though I loath him, I have to be somewhat respectful.

"Well, I'll let you boys get to know each other," says WHN.

"Thank you, Brian," says Timothy.

Thank you, Tim, I think. Brian. I have to remember that.

"So, Chad, what should we do?" asks Tim.

We? There is no "we." It is just me and my one man show. Doesn't this kid know me? Jeez. People.

"I'm going go eat breakfast," I say, holding my head up high.

"Ooh, can I join you?" Tim asks eagerly.

"Fine, Tim."

"Thanks, Chad."

I walk to the cafeteria, with Tom right behind me.

"You know, you walk very confidently," Tom notes.

"Yeah," I say. I walk to the bar to get my yummy meal. "Hey, Brenda," I say suavely. "What's for breakfast?"

"Your favorite dish," she says, handing me and omelet with bacon on the side. I'm pretty much drooling at the sight of it. I wink.

"Thanks," I say. Trent is right behind me, he gets something too. But I don't care to see what it is. It's been, like, five minutes and he's stalking me. It's kind of freaking me out. I sit down at the Mackenzie Falls table by myself. I look to see him staring at Sonny. Of course he goes after Sonny. No, he's probably just staring at them because they're so weird. Yeah, that's it, nothing romantic.

He sits down next to me, and keeps staring. Shoot, not a good sign. I have to distract him.

"So, buddy," I say. "What's new?" Yeah, from just meeting you five minutes ago.

"I think I have my first crush," says Trent. "I never felt this way before."

"Who's your crush?" I ask. Please don't say Sonny. Please don't say Sonny, I silently beg. Even though, I know full well it is Sonny.

"That girl from So Random," he says, nodding his head towards Sonny.

That girl from So Random! What. The. Heck. "That" girl has a name, idiot.

"Which girl?" I ask, playing dumb.

"Sonny Munroe."

Damn it! Why does it have to be Sonny? It's always Sonny. See, after I had her under my thumb like I do with every other girl, I was happy. My life was good. Perfect, perhaps. But now it's a nightmare sent from my personal hell.

"Welcome to puberty, bro," I say.

"Thanks?"

"Now, I know it's going to be different. 'Cause your voice is going to change and all that other shit."

"Do you have to swear?" he asks timidly. By the way, that little statement right there means he's a momma's boy. Pathetic wimp.

"When you become a man, you tend to swear more and more often, get the picture? So it's okay to do so. After a while you don't really think about what you say. You just say it..."

"Alright." Troy pauses. "It's just that—that I don't know how to talk to a girl. I mean, I just don't know."

"I think I can help," I say. Welcome to Chad Dylan Cooper's crash course on how not to get a girl. I know, I know. I'm mean. I'm evil. Blah, blah, blah. The list of names that describe me are endless. Poor naïve kid. Doesn't know what he's getting into when you try to mess with Chad Dylan Cooper's girlfriend, well, ex-girlfriend that he still loves very much, even though she broke his heart.
I know I should be mad at Sonny. Girls weren't supposed to break Chad Dylan Cooper's heart. Chad Dylan Cooper is supposed to break girl's hearts.

"You can?" he asks excitedly.

"Yes I can. But I need to prepare a little. You know, when you're the master at things like this...you have to prepare because you don't know what's coming at you."

If I really was trying to get Roy and Sonny together I could start right away. But since I'm doing the complete and total opposite, I need to figure out how not to get them together.
But if you're Chad Dylan Cooper, everything, well, almost everything turns out in your favor. So no way in hell are Rob and Sonny getting together. Not on my watch.

Now review to tell me if I should continue or not.
Don't Forget: I love it, continue.
La La Land: It's okay.
Here We Go Again: I hate it! (Please, tell me why.)