DISCLAIMER: I do not own the beloved potions master. Or Harry...
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~Severus Snape shall not smile under any circumstances other than sarcasm or triumphing over Harry Potter~
~Severus Snape must be diabollicly british at all times~
~Severus Snape must always try his hardest to scare the piss out of the first years~
SNAPE: *apparates to the back of a very boring chemistry class where the author is currenlty sitting* What are you doing?
AUTHOR: What does it look like I'm doing?
SNAPE: Draco warned me about you. You'll broadcast my deepest darkest secrets, just like that horrible Skeeter woman.
AUTHOR: Well, I wasn't going to, but if you insist...
SNAPE: No, I'm sorry!
AUTHOR: Too late, Snapey boy! You're gonna get it good.
~Severus Snape shall never wear those pink knickers on Wednesday again.~
SNAPE: *blushing profusely* I don't know what you're talking about.
AUTHOR: Don't deny it, I know all your secrets... it is Wednesday, I presume?
SNAPE: *nods nervously*
AUTHOR: *points wand at Snape's pants* Invisio!
SNAPE: Eeeeek! Where'd my pants go?
AUTHOR: tsk tsk... you're breaking a rule.
SNAPE: *indignantly* they're not pink! Just a pale reddish color...
AUTHOR: *picks up phone* Harry hun, I need you again.
HARRY: *apparates into the room* What is this ...Ahhhh! *covers eyes quickly once he sees Snape in his boxers* It burns!
SNAPE: *hugging himself tightly* it's a tid bit nipply in here.
HARRY: What exactly is going on?
AUTHOR: I need you to judge, Harry. Are they, or are they not, pink?
HARRY: *still covering his eyes* yes, pink, definitely, doesn't get much pinker than that... can I go now?
AUTHOR: Not until you help me devise a punishment for our dear professor.
HARRY: I say we hit him with a cow.
AUTHOR: *thoughtfully* really? What size cow?
HARRY: A big one.
AUTHOR: Sounds spiffy to me.
SNAPE: Don't I get a say in this?
AUTHOR: Eh, no.
HARRY: Finally, sweet revenge! *picks up a cow that has materialized out of thin air*
*WHACK*
*Harry and the Author watch as Snape is violently thrown into a wall.*
SNAPE: That's it, detention for all of you!
AUTHOR: You can't give me detention, you're not my teacher!
SNAPE: We'll make that two detentions, for talking back to me.
AUTHOR: *turns furiously back to her notebook*
~Severus Snape will kindly wash his hair before all of Hogwarts is turned into a giant grease pool.~
SNAPE: That's it! I'm sueing for vicious attacks on my personal character!
AUTHOR: *mockingly* Oh, so now the big bad wizard is sueing me?
SNAPE: *growling fiercly and pointing wand at author*Rictusempra!
AUTHOR: *doubles up in agony... or pretty much just laughter* That *gasp* was low *gasp* even for you!
SNAPE: Why thank you.
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*puts on winning smile* The reveiw button loves you!
I apologise if that sounded a tad... mean. I really do love Snape, and Draco with all of my heart, it's just fun to pick on them.
************
~Severus Snape shall not smile under any circumstances other than sarcasm or triumphing over Harry Potter~
~Severus Snape must be diabollicly british at all times~
~Severus Snape must always try his hardest to scare the piss out of the first years~
SNAPE: *apparates to the back of a very boring chemistry class where the author is currenlty sitting* What are you doing?
AUTHOR: What does it look like I'm doing?
SNAPE: Draco warned me about you. You'll broadcast my deepest darkest secrets, just like that horrible Skeeter woman.
AUTHOR: Well, I wasn't going to, but if you insist...
SNAPE: No, I'm sorry!
AUTHOR: Too late, Snapey boy! You're gonna get it good.
~Severus Snape shall never wear those pink knickers on Wednesday again.~
SNAPE: *blushing profusely* I don't know what you're talking about.
AUTHOR: Don't deny it, I know all your secrets... it is Wednesday, I presume?
SNAPE: *nods nervously*
AUTHOR: *points wand at Snape's pants* Invisio!
SNAPE: Eeeeek! Where'd my pants go?
AUTHOR: tsk tsk... you're breaking a rule.
SNAPE: *indignantly* they're not pink! Just a pale reddish color...
AUTHOR: *picks up phone* Harry hun, I need you again.
HARRY: *apparates into the room* What is this ...Ahhhh! *covers eyes quickly once he sees Snape in his boxers* It burns!
SNAPE: *hugging himself tightly* it's a tid bit nipply in here.
HARRY: What exactly is going on?
AUTHOR: I need you to judge, Harry. Are they, or are they not, pink?
HARRY: *still covering his eyes* yes, pink, definitely, doesn't get much pinker than that... can I go now?
AUTHOR: Not until you help me devise a punishment for our dear professor.
HARRY: I say we hit him with a cow.
AUTHOR: *thoughtfully* really? What size cow?
HARRY: A big one.
AUTHOR: Sounds spiffy to me.
SNAPE: Don't I get a say in this?
AUTHOR: Eh, no.
HARRY: Finally, sweet revenge! *picks up a cow that has materialized out of thin air*
*WHACK*
*Harry and the Author watch as Snape is violently thrown into a wall.*
SNAPE: That's it, detention for all of you!
AUTHOR: You can't give me detention, you're not my teacher!
SNAPE: We'll make that two detentions, for talking back to me.
AUTHOR: *turns furiously back to her notebook*
~Severus Snape will kindly wash his hair before all of Hogwarts is turned into a giant grease pool.~
SNAPE: That's it! I'm sueing for vicious attacks on my personal character!
AUTHOR: *mockingly* Oh, so now the big bad wizard is sueing me?
SNAPE: *growling fiercly and pointing wand at author*Rictusempra!
AUTHOR: *doubles up in agony... or pretty much just laughter* That *gasp* was low *gasp* even for you!
SNAPE: Why thank you.
***************************************
*puts on winning smile* The reveiw button loves you!
I apologise if that sounded a tad... mean. I really do love Snape, and Draco with all of my heart, it's just fun to pick on them.