He was on the kitchen floor with his eyes seeing only a blurry concoction of what was above him. "Kate," he tried to yell but it came out hardly louder than a whisper. "Kate," he tried again but there was no response coming his way. He was fighting the darkness, trying his best to control his body enough to get to her. He began sliding along the floor, struggling to ignore the jolts of pain that flooded his body with every slight movement.
"Castle." The small rasp from her throat was barely heard, but she knew it was real. This was real. They were both down, shot. Blood. There was too much blood. She was shot, again, but now thanks to her, so was Castle.
"Castle," she spoke again, even quieter this time. She didn't think it was possible for him to even hear her but when she heard a low moan in return, her heart leapt. He was alive. For now. With every ounce of strength left in her she pushed with her legs begging them to move, pleading with her body to do as she commanded. Castle. She just wanted Castle. By her side, she needed him. In what she assumed were to be their last moments, she needed to be with him.
"Kate, oh god Kate!" She heard him stutter her name. He was close. She could see him on the floor, covered in his own blood. They both pushed their bodies to their limits until finally their hands met. The electricity passed through them both, masking the endless pain for just a few moments.
"Cas—stle." She was barely able to get his name out.
"I'm here Kate, I'm right here." He grabbed her and pulled her against his body, allowing her head to rest gently on his arm. She was right where she belonged, safe in his arms.
"Talk to me, Kate. Please just talk." He knew he was in rough shape and with the passing moments going by, he felt less and less optimist about the both of them. But he wasn't going to give into the pain; he wasn't going admit defeat just yet.
"I'm so sorry Castle. God I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."
"No, don't talk like that. We both knew what we were getting into."
"No, Castle, not just this. I mean for everything. I'm sorry that I've risked your life so many times. I'm sorry that I've dragged you into my dangerous life." He couldn't see her eyes but he felt the heat of her tears as they fell from her now porcelain face down onto his arm. "And now I'm sorry that I am now to blame for leaving Alexis without a father."
"Don't you dare say that. Kate, look at me." He didn't have enough strength to use his other arm to force her eyes into his. But as she herself began to face him, he could see the utter regret in her eyes. Her face was already more pale than he had been prepared for. "Kate, besides Alexis, my life was meaningless before I met you."
"No Castle, you were safe before you met me and now look what I did. I ruined everything and destroyed any chance for you to have a normal life."
"To hell with normal! You made my life extraordinary because you, Kate, are extraordinary. You're the most remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating person I've ever met and I love you for it."
"Castle, don't." She couldn't accept his professions of love. She didn't deserve them.
"Don't what? Acknowledge how much I love you?" His tone was filled with confusion. After all that they've been through, together, how could she be taking sole responsibility?
"Don't pretend that I'm not right. Don't pretend that this isn't my fault." She was peering into his deep blue eyes seeing that the pain he was feeling was not just physical but emotional too. His body was broken and now his heart was too.
"Kate you didn't pull the trigger, just as much as I didn't pull the trigger when you got shot five years ago. You remember how much I blamed myself after that? It tore me up inside, but Kate, it was you that pulled me through. It was you who made me believe in myself again, believe in us. I love you so much, Kate. Please don't do this to yourself."
He noticed a hint of regret in her face, but couldn't tell if her regret was founded in his words or in her previous ones.
"Castle, you don't understand, it's not just my life that I ruined. I've ruined so much more, you don't even know."
"And yet you've also saved so many more." He mustered up the strength to lean over and whisper the words directly into her ear before planting a tender kiss on her temple. "So many more," he repeated his words hoping they would convince her.
She moved as close as she could into his side as they lay together on the floor. The pain was no longer an issue as her body now just felt numb, numb to all the pain that had ever taken ahold of her . She knew the end was near. This was it. This was where their story would end. It was almost laughable how their bodies were wrapped together, bleeding out on their kitchen floor like it was some sort of cliché scene from a romantic tragedy. But no. It was real. It was their story and it was now ending. And now for Castle, it was about to get worse. If this was the end, he needed to know. He deserved her honesty even if that was what got him into this in the first place.
"No, Castle. I..I.." She couldn't bear to even say the words. It tore her apart knowing that she was once again going to take something away from him, something that she had wanted to give him for such a long time.
"I…" She was struggling to breathe her way through the words and the tears were making it nearly impossible to get the words out before it was too late.
"Please, Kate. Stay with me. Don't go just yet. Please!" He pleaded with her just as he pleaded with his own body to not yet fail him.
A few moments of silence passed before he heard her very faintly speak. "We were going to have a baby."
He was very certain his body had failed him and that he was now hallucinating, until she continued, "I was finally going to be a mother. And now that chance is gone. I knew before we decided to go after Loksat. I knew and I still chose the selfish route. I chose justice over my own child, over our…our baby." He could hear her voice getting quieter and her breaths getting shallower. After a couple seconds, she released another whisper. "I love you, Castle."
"No, Kate, hold on. Don't you dare give up now!" He reached out in hopes of finding her abdomen so he could feel the life they created, feel what could have been. No, feel what could be. Instead he was met with her wound, still seeping blood. He looked back up at her face, now marred with his blood from when he gently laid his hands on her. Her eyes weren't closed but the second he looked into them, he saw that they were empty, lifeless. "No, no, no, don't you dare leave me." He wanted to scream but his voice was barely audible. Everything was hazy and he could no longer think. He had held on this long in hopes of saving her. But now, there was nothing left inside him. His heart was shattered with the knowledge that he no longer had his wife or the child that lay nestled in her womb. He held on to her as tightly as he could, hoping to feel a breath escape her lips. Stillness. There was nothing more he could do but succumb to the darkness that he had been fighting. He turned ever so slightly and placed a final kiss on his wife, his lover, his muse. Her lips were still warm and still fit perfectly with his. This was their goodbye. This was the ending to their love story. His eyes fell shut and with his final breath, he whispered his final words. "I love you, Kate. Always."