A/N- Please, leave a review if you like! I'll love to read your feedback!
Chapter One: Sai's Time To Shine
For a while now, I've had my eyes on one person. For some reason, I'm in love.. Is it his smile.. is it his personality or is it his passion towards reaching his dreams? What ever it is.. I'm in love with Naruto Uzumaki and he knows it.
I enter our dorm, unsure whether he's going to attack me or allow me to enter so early. The reason for was.. I came home early once, and I caught Naruto doing things I've never thought he would do. He wasn't doing someone or anything.. let's just say, he enjoys his own company. However, today.. Naruto wasn't home for me. Usually, he'll be home earlier than I, and then, he'll leave to Sasuke.. but today, I don't see him any where..
"Naruto..?" I call through each room, checking whether he's actually here. For some reason, I have a feeling that Naruto is here.. and not gone. It's like I can feel his presence, strongly. Then again.. he can be here without me seeing him. The first thing that pops through my mind is him hiding, however, I hear his sudden sobs through the hallway. My first thought of where I look through was the hallway closet, which was where he was.. with his harsh tears pouring from his beautiful blue eyes. "Naruto?" I softly question him in disbelief. I've never seen him cry like this before.. this is very rare to see, yet, my heart beats quickly, for realizing that I'm probably the first person seeing him this way.. and I'm flattered.
With my blushing cheeks, and unexpectedly, I enter the closet along with Naruto and sat by his side. He looks at me with a confused expression, but I comfort him with my smile, which he might think is false.
"Sai-W-what're you doing.." Naruto questions softly, but I simply lean closer and gently lay my head on his shoulder with my hand on his back, rubbing it in comfort. However, whether Naruto knew it or not, he was blushing. I didn't see it, but I can feel the warmth of his cheek spreading across his face. "Sai.."
"I am comforting you.." I quickly answer, but I couldn't help to feel my heart beat quickly.. especially, if I have all these hidden feelings towards Naruto. "I think it suits this moment quite well, don't you think-?"
"W-what're you doing, Sai? You know I belong to Sasuke!" He shouts and gently shoves me way, "..but, Sasuke.. he doesn't want me.."
"Naruto.."
"..He never wanted me.. as matter of fact, he never thought of me as anything more than body to have when he's alone. All he ever wanted was my body!
"Naruto!" I shout, widening his eyes in shock. Probably because I'm usually so calm, and.. gullible. "Does it matter what Sasuke thinks of you? Is he that important to you? Is there something more between you and Sasuke than you and I?"
Naruto turns his eyes towards me and begins blushing, "W-well, you and I, Sai, are friends. And great friends, but.. Sasuke and I are kind of more than that. I thought that you knew of this." He sinks his eyes lower towards the ground, avoiding my confused expression. Sadly, I was blinded by his smile, his laughter or how he actually acknowledges me, and totally forgot to realize the clues. I never realized how many times Naruto have left for Sasuke. Gosh, I'm stupid. I'm an idiot. I'm-
"Sai.. I understand that you haven't noticed it before, but Sasuke is all that I knew my entire life. He makes me feel like the old times when I was still finding myself.." Naruto says as he rises to opens the door, "I'm sorry, Sai, but I can never forget a man like Sasuke! No one can make me forget about him!" He begins exiting with tears rushing down his face, until I interrupted by gently grasping his wrist.
He turns back at me, hoping for my sweet and supportive words to comfort him. However, at this moment.. my mind is filled with several ways to blurt out my confession of loving him for so long. But... I just can't. I can't. I have my words of choice locked in my mind.. but I can't say them.. why?
"Just.. let me be," Naruto responds from my recent action, and pulls his wrist from my grip, "I-I'm going out.." He walks out the closet and continues to until he exits the door.
I fucked it up. I fucked it up big time. I could have told him and live with the possibility of him loving me back.. but I didn't. And it's just because I'm a chicken. I could never stand up from myself, no matter what.
*The Following Day*
From my bed, I can hear Naruto enter the dorm and walk down the hall towards his room. I still can't understand what I could have done to make everything between us better. Naruto haven't laid his eyes on me since yesterday afternoon, right after I grabbed his wrist awkwardly. He confessed his feeling towards Sasuke to me, which I didn't understand. How can you love someone who left you alone for three years? The entire time, I was there for him. All through high school, and now through college. And Naruto just lets Sasuke in without realizing how much pain is going to come later on. Who can go through that? Also, guess who's going to be there to comfort him? Can't be Sakura.. she doesn't know the story. Plus, she's almost done with Medical School, she has lots to do. It's going to have to be me.
Again, I hear Naruto's sobs in the distance. I can understand how hurt he is.. it's hurting me for letting it happen. As a great friend, I'm going to have to help him out. Because I care.
Before I knew it, I was already on my feet and walking towards his room. I open the door and saw him curled up in his bed, crying as if he was in pain. I approach him with a solicitous expression. Before he can protest again my appearance, I wrap my arms around him and laid in his bed by his side. "Quiet, Naruto.. let me help." I whisper and began comfortably holding him. He couldn't say anything more.. he just began crying right into my shoulder as I rub his back. I have a feeling that this isn't the moment to confess yet, but I'm almost there.
After a while, Naruto lays in bed drifting into a deep sleep as I lay by him.. watching him sleep. This feels nice to lay here with Naruto. I wish I can do this everyday, but sadly, Naruto has an interest in someone that doesn't. Still, I can relate. The one-sided love thing. I love Naruto, but he doesn't love me. Naruto loves Sasuke, but Sasuke doesn't. Sounds like a situation in Junjou Romantica but, life isn't as perfect, or fabulous, as that. For while now, I drift into my thoughts of what is similar to this situation, especially with all the anime I watch, but that quickly changes once I hear Naruto speak in his sleep. "I'm cold.." He whispers and curls closer to me. I couldn't help but to wrap my arms around him, and sleep there by his side.
Before I could sleep, all I can do is smile. Feeling his breath on my neck, soundly asleep. He's the cutest thing on earth. And before I knew it, I confessed. "I love you, Naruto." I whisper to Naruto, who was still asleep, "I love you so much.. it's unbearable." I close my eyes, and held him tighter. "And, I'll never let you go. To no one. You're mine and you'll always be mine."
0-0-0-*0*-0-0-0
My eyes suddenly open, from a nightmare of Naruto leaving me for Sasuke. However, when I look around, I find Naruto nowhere to be found. I expect myself to wake up with him in my arms, but I can always dream. Now, the only the thing that scares me is if my nightmare is coming true. My heart begins beating rapidly, thinking such thing. As a result, I get up from the bed, after shaking myself fully awake, and run down the hall, and into our small kitchen. Then, of course, I let out relieved sigh, finding out that he was standing there with a pair of hashi between his lips.
"Eating at this time?" I question and approach him simultaneously, with my restless eyes, "You scared me.."
Naruto finishes the food that were placed in his mouth, but expeditiously, shove even more before speaking with a full mouth, "Ya know meh, I wuv food." He continues eating, yet find him glancing at me. My cheeks flare in blush, regarding Naruto's glances. Then, he approaches me and touches my stomach, in a circular motion.
"W-what're you doing?" I question, but he places his bowl of ramen on the table, and comes back to touch me. Nonetheless, he begins to pull my shirt up, exposing my bare abdomen, and touches that. Then again, my cheeks blush, but even more than before. "Naruto-!"
"Do you even eat?"
"W-what?!" I answer, finding it difficult to concentrate on his words, and only on his actions.
"You're so small, Sai.. did you eat today?"
"Yeaah, of course!" I answer and try looking away from his blue eyes, which are too hard to resist at this moment.
Naruto smirks, and leans closer towards me, especially towards my face. Then, in a split second, Naruto stops my heart with these upcoming questions. He asks, with his lips just a few inches away from mine, "What's wrong, Sai? Do you like me or something? You can't handle a simple touch?"
I try looking away from his eyes, trying to avoid answering him honestly. However, Naruto turns my head towards him with his gentle touch and places on of his hands on my waist. My eyes move from his lips and back to his blue eyes. At this pace, my heart can't stop me from doing from what it wants, and it wants Naruto's soft lips. Then, before I knew it.. the taste of Naruto's lips were all over mine. I continue with a special technique of mine, all around and over his lips, making him want more. From the way that he grips my shirt tighter, and closer, it seems like I'm doing it correctly. However, with Naruto recently heart broken from someone he loves, he pulls away unwillingly and covers his lips with his hands, and blushes.
"S-Sai.. I'm sorry—"
"—It's fine!" I suddenly shout and try walking away angrily, but Naruto suddenly pulls my shirt by the sleeve before I can get any farther. When I turn to his direction to ask 'why', his eyes were on the ground, as he pulls me closer until we fall into an embrace. Sympathetically, I pull him into a tighter hug and laid a few kisses on his forehead, showing that... I can't stay mad at him forever. "Naruto, I'll appreciate it if you don't play with me." I say and let go of him, before leaving into my room.
I fall into my bed without anything else in mind but that kiss. Naruto knows how I feel about him... but he never knew what I was capable of. I've never told him about anyone I've been with or what kind of guy I liked. He just knew that I loved him. Yet, he still continues living with me and cry over Sasuke as if it doesn't affect me. I know that he knows that it's painful to watch him this way, unless he's as clueless as I was before.
In the distance, I hear him rumbling through the cabinets and dropping things, and then silence. As if he was searching for something. What are you looking for at this time, Naruto? I ask myself, but quickly push that thought out of my mind. Why does it matter to me? Why am I being worried, if I'm suppose to be angry at him. I just have to concentrate on being the victim instead of making him the victim. For the moment, I felt the urge to get up and rush back to him, but then, I had a feeling that I wouldn't be the one coming back.
I hear Naruto entering my room, step-by-step, but he stops by the door, searching for the right words to say to me.
"Don't you ever knock." I say, keeping my eyes onto the ceiling than on his. My tone was serious, which was what I was reaching for at this moment, showing him that I can be serious, when I want to.
"You never knock, either." He jokes softly.
I let go of a small, quick sigh and a sarcastic smile, feeling all the hurt bottled inside threatening to explode from this along with the feeling of tears, that I've been holding back, trying to escape from me. He has some kind of nerve trying to make me laugh when I knew he's just leaning on me for comfort. I'm not his toy.
"Sai..—"
"What do you want?" I ask, holding myself together, " Let me re-phrase that, 'What do you want from me?' "
"I'm sorry." He says and approaches me with a blanket wrapped around him and apologetic eyes, "I knew that you liked me... but I never thought that it was that serious—"
"What?" I blurt out angrily and sat up from my bed with adrenaline running through my veins, "Are you seriously saying this?! Do you know how stupid you sound right now—"
"I said I was sorry!" Naruto shouts in tears, and covers his face with his hands. He continues to cry as I felt the sharp pain in my chest once again. I can't see him like this. I have no right to put this much anger towards him during this dark time of his life. He doesn't need to hear this from me; he doesn't deserve to lose a friend at this moment. He needs me. He raises his face from his hands, and continue to speak, "Sai, I'm sorry—I really am! Here I am, taking advantage of a good friend and teasing him when I didn't know it. I just thought you were just comforting me—"
"I was."
"—as a friend and.."
"I was comforting you as a friend," I reply trying to hold in my confession, but it's becoming difficult to do that by every passing second, "Naruto... it's my duty to keep you happy, when you're not. It's my duty to keep you comfortable, when you're not. It's my duty as the person who... loves you."
Naruto's eyes widen in shock, but eventually, my confession causes him to blush. I raise my body from my bed and approach Naruto with my arms open for an embrace. Naruto blushes even more and walk into my arms, without hesitation. "Sai, love me until I can fall for a good guy like you."
"That was plan all this time." I answer and gently place my hand on his cheek, drawing his face closer to mine. Then, it hit me. The smell of beer on his lips. He's been drinking, and speaking nonsense to me, with no meaning behind anything. My grip around him loosen as I whisper, "It was my plan.." in his ear. Seeing that he cannot handle himself worries me, but that doesn't give him permission to play with me.
I take his hand and pull him to his room, but he resists. "What're you doing?! Sai—"
"We're going to bed.." I answer softly with sense.
As a result, he wraps around me with a drunken smile and replies, "Really! It's about time you came to me! Do you really love me? Huh! You love me enough to do it with me?..."
His continuous questions swim to one ear and out the other. It useless to answer to any of them, anyways. Instead of being his friend that he needed, I ended up as his babysitter, watching his every move. For now on, I can't leave him out of my sight. He's a wondering, sadden fox, living in a world he no longer recognizes, and he needs someone to help him through and show him the good and the right.
He might be this helpless fox, but I'm here for him, when he needs me. He's my kitsune.
