Ever since I was small, I've always admired one certain individual of the Dauntless Faction. He was called Eric, and he was the one that always stood his ground and intimidated others to submission. I've always admired his natural strength and courage and how it always seemed like nothing could ever even remotely hurt him in any way. He was powerful- much powerful than any other boy that I knew. His courage and ideals were unmatched, unique in their own way.
When I was 14, he was ranked second in the Dauntless initiation and became one of the captains of the Dauntless Faction. I still remember how happy I had been for him and how biased my dislike had been for the person who had been ranked first. As far as I had been concerned, Eric should have been ranked first. He was so much better than all the other initiates. He was the genius of the bunch, mastering every skill that was thrown his way.
On the summer that I turned 15, my admiration had melded into a crush. It was a crush that once almost caused me to trip into the chasm, courtesy of Eric appearing within ten metres of my vision. Every time we passed each other, I would look back and memorise the back of his head. Every time that I would stare at him unconsciously, he would notice and eye me strangely like I was the scum on his shoes. But I would never notice and so when I do, I would blush bright red as he tells me off in his stern bark. I knew his timetable. I knew where he'll be most of the time. And I would sneak into the new initiates training sessions just to watch him do his job.
No. I wasn't a stalker. I was just too shy and cowardly to consider myself as such. But despite my obvious attraction to him, he didn't even know that I existed. To him, I was one of the no-name weaklings, that hung out around the Dauntless headquarters. And knowing that, I've always promised myself that I'd become a successful Dauntless initiate- and then I go on to become a Dauntless Leader, just like him. I'd like to at least have him acknowledge me as an acquaintance rather none at all.
But imagine my horror when I took the test on my 16th birthday. My Erudite examiner only looked at me with the slightest amount of pity before announcing my result. Amity. That was my result. Not Dauntless, but Amity. For the next few days, I was devastated. I even stopped noticing Eric whenever he appeared within ten metres of my vision.
I mean, I was born in Dauntless. I followed all the Dauntless customs, even if I still needed someone to push me off the train when we had to jump. So what if I was afraid of dying? So what if I was a little bit cowardly? So what? Shouldn't there be at least a tiny bit of bravery in me to consider me as Dauntless?
So when the choosing began, my hands had been shaking like there was no tomorrow. I had second doubts. I mean, did I really deserve to be in Dauntless if I was even afraid of the pain of cutting myself? To my luck, Eric hadn't been around to see me tremble or hesitate when I did it. Not that he would have cared anyway. He didn't even know that I existed, remember?
Regardless of the test results and my doubts, I ended up choosing Dauntless, my own faction. The first part of initiation was elementary to me, even if I had to convince someone to push me off the train. When we arrived at the Dauntless head-quarters, we were immediately separated into the Dauntless born and the transfers.
I was disheartened to find that Eric wouldn't be training the Dauntless born. Instead we got an older person, a woman in her late thirties. She whispered her commands and I always ended up missing some crucial bits of information. The initiation process wasn't actually all that hard. But as the training continued over the days, I found my rank dropping lower and lower. My frequent trips into the transfer initiates area became more and more risky, especially when I actually tried to join one of their sessions. It actually went quite well, even without taking in the consideration that it was Eric that was teaching at that time. And it was Eric that pointed me out. I couldn't have been more overjoyed.
"You."
At that moment, my heart had jumped so high that I was surprised it didn't just burst. I felt my cheeks heat up and my movements had become so rigid that I could have probably passed for a robot. "Me?" I only managed to squeak out. I mean, this was Eric who was talking to me. Inwardly, I was smiling so much that it hurt. Eric was talking to me. He was talking to me.
"Yes. You." Eric punctuated his words with a little spin on his blade. "Aren't you one of the Dauntless-born? What are you doing here?"
I didn't even notice how all the transfers' eyes were on me. All I could process that that moment was the fact that Eric- Eric knew that I was of Dauntless born. He actually acknowledged my existence in a way. "I-I-" I tried to find the words to prove myself, but nothing seemed to come to mind. Eric was still looking at me with those cool, stern eyes.
'Yes?" He prompted intimidatingly with another spin of his blade.
"M-my group has finished f-for the date-day." I stuttered self-consciously and struggled to correct myself on the last word. "I was h-hoping to t-train some more and maybe have a l-look at the o-other ranking c-competition and-" I rambled a bit more, throwing in a couple more explanations that even I had trouble understanding. I didn't really think as I was talking. All that occupied my thoughts was the fact that I was actually talking to him. Stuttering, really. But it still counted.
"Stop stuttering." He cut me off rather coldly. "You're being a disgrace to the Dauntless."
I only gaped in response. But I was far from insulted. My inner mind seemed to have bloomed at that statement, splashing my thoughts in bright sunshine and giddiness. All I could think about was the fact that he had even bothered to jeer at me at all. In my eyes, it had been a major development.
Even in front of him and in the embarrassing view of all the new transfers, I found myself smiling widely, the smile twitching even as I tried to suppress it. Even as I tried to stop it, a giggle- an absolutely girlish giggle ripped its way out of my throat. In any other situation, I would have been completely mortified. But this wasn't any other situation. This was a special occasion and with that thought still in mind, I continued giggling on the spot like a schoolgirl in love- which I technically was.
In my state of giddiness, I didn't even have time to notice the sharp glint that aimed for me. My body froze solid as the blade whistled pass the small gap between my jaw and collarbone and dug two inches into the concrete wall behind me.
I swear my heart skipped a beat.
My giggling stopped abruptly but my smile remained, frozen upon my face. My trembling must have been noticeable and for the first time, I noticed all the looks of pity that surrounded me. Like a robot, I forced my rigid head to turn slowly, eyeing the blade that could have taken my life right there and then. And then my eyes trailed back to a smirking Eric, noticing the loss of his blade.
Eric threw a blade at me. Eric threw a blade at me.
It was only when that thought sunk in that I was once again overwhelmed by wonder and giddiness. I mean, it was Eric that had thrown a blade at me. How cool was that? And, it had been dead accurate. He was such a genius. I resisted the heavy urge to gush and praise him right there and then.
"Go back to your group." He barked at me. "And learn not to disrupt my session again."
I only nodded meekly and tried to wipe off the big fat smile that had once again dominated my face. Keyword: Tried. "Yup yup." I saluted him cheekily out of pure giddiness and skipped away, an extra spring to my steps.
Ah… Unrequited love. I sighed lazily. What a lousy thing it is. I didn't even realise how spaced out I really was until I tripped headfirst into the railings that guarded the chasm.
Later that evening, I snuck back into the transfers' training grounds and plucked the blade out of the wall.
Hey! This was just a little project that I had to do at school. I thought it was ok and so I decided to share it with you. Hope you enjoyed it!