An alternate universe in which Effie was avoxed due to her not revealing rebel plans.
Feel Again
The cold, dark cell has entirely numbed my feelings. No longer can I remember what joy is, only hurt and pain. I ball my hands into fists before relieving them, trying to work out the numbness of my hand falling asleep. I want to cry, but I can't even do that anymore. I have entirely lost feeling to the world. When people talk, all I hear is muffled sounds. Like I am underwater and they are above. And I always try to focus on the words, try and bring myself to the top of the water but I never can. I am always drowning. Always dying.
I wrap my numb fingers - blue, from the winter cold and blue from the numbness - around my shoulders, but it is no use. I am hypothermic. Not an inch of my body is warm anymore. Not inside, or out. I lean to my left, and I land on someones shoulder. I recognize it instantly. The shoulders that used to be so strong, so powerful, are weak. Thin. Frail. The vibrant blue eyes that I met as a tribute are now dead, and dulled. The soft, blonde hair that used to move in the breeze as he smiled was now matted with defecation, urine, blood and other bodily fluids that I don't care to explain.
Peeta Mellark is no longer the boy with the bread. Peeta Mellark is the man who was broken.
I notice him pull me closer, our only consolences being ourselves. We know each other. We worked together for three long years. I watched this boy become a man. I practically view him as my son.
There is muffling- he's speaking to me. I try once more to come above the water. I attempt call out his name, try and explain to him why I won't answer his words. I am marred beyond recovery. There is no going back for me.
I catch a few of his words such as, "Effie," and "Calm". So I do. I relax and I let the water pull me under and I relax. And then, for the first time in six months, I can hear him. It pains me that I cannot speak, that I cannot talk to him, but now I can hear him. His voice is cracked, broken, and raspy and I hate that. I want to go back to being deaf.
"Effie can you hear me? Nod if you can." I obey, nodding my head slowly. Johanna, who was sitting across from us raises her head, her eyes lighting up a little.
"Effs, you can hear us?" I nod again, peering up at them over my knees.
"That's great, right?" Annie asks. I look to Peeta, my eyes shining. Is it really good? Because now that my hearing is better, I will be able to hear their screams of pain. I will hear every hit, every shock, every burn, every sob. And now that I've lived in blissful ignorance, I'm not sure I want to go back.
"I think so, Annie. Effie, can you try to talk?" I nod and try to call out his name, but it comes out as a strangled cry of pain.
"Peeta, her hearing healing isn't going to fix the tongue that they've removed," Johanna sneers. Peeta glares at her.
"Effie, listen. You are going to be alright. You're going to get some help, you'll have your voice back by no time, okay? I promise, we'll restore your senses, but very slowly." I nod, rest my head on his chest. His heartbeat is one of the first soothing things I've heard since my hearing has been restored.
Glancing at my charred fingers, I nod.
He might just be right, I might just be okay.