Dave fascinates me. So much potential, so much we don't know.
Unlooked For
…and dear god, look at her, she's beautiful (it's really too sad)…
Kurt's not his type either.
Not really.
If he wanted fashionable and delicate and high-maintenance he would've just gone and got himself a girl. A pretty-eyed girl with skin that's soft and flawless, subtly perfumed with this brand and that one, the prices mind-boggling.
The problem is that 'girly' isn't his type, at all.
The problem is that he's—(sick, confused, dirty)
Dave kissed Kurt because he stands for pride and honesty and everything he shouldn't be, everything he definitely isn't—can't—be.
Courageous.
The kind of courage that means coming to school everyday in his best clothes even though Kurt knows they won't let him make it past first period. Smelling of trash and keeping his head held high because he knows he's not, that he's better than any of them.
Than all of them. Than him, no question.
No doubts, none. He isn't at all like Kurt. And wait, what are they talking about?
(he does that, swing between acceptance and denial)
See, Dave doesn't have the kind of courage it takes to stand up to violence and hate with only words to defend yourself. Pointy, painful words that eat at his insides.
He kind of wishes Kurt was his type sometimes. It might make things a little easier, make him a little more sane. A lot of the time he doesn't, you know; feel stable. Know which realities are dreams and which lies are the right ones.
But if people could choose who they loved, well. Then he wouldn't really be having this problem in the first place.
It's not like he wants to be—(fake, lonely, scared)
He likes jocks.
It's stupid and impossible and sometimes it hurts so much that he wakes up and can't breathe. It's not Kurt's strawberry flavored lips he dreams of and it's never going to be about Santana's boob-job.
Thankfully, it's not Azimio either. He doesn't know if he could handle that.
Isn't it bad enough that he's—(violent, unstable, angry)
He stares sometimes before he can catch himself and the fear when he turns away to check if anyone has noticed is so crushing that sometimes Dave honestly thinks he's dying.
He gets mean afterward; so vicious that he scares himself.
Sometimes he wonders. Wouldn't it maybe be better to just get it over with?
(hey guys, he just wanted to say that he's—)
(not brave enough)
Let's just say sometimes he really, really wishes he had a pool.