AN - This is my first attempt to try to write something funny, so please go easy on me. Er, revised, somewhat, well not really. I just took out a line that shouldn't be here.

Disclaimer - YES I OWN FFVII! My sis in law is Japanese, so they like me and let me own it. I'm being sarcastic if you haven't noticed.

Road Trip

Chapter 1

"Why should I come?" His elegantly shaped eyebrows raised in confusion to why she would want him to come.

"Cause I said so, now lets go!" She said as she attempted to pull him out of the mansion.

He took his arm back, "No."

"Please."

"…"

"Pretty please?"

"…No."

She latched onto his claw, "Gawd, what's wrong with you, it's the anniversary thingus, come on! Everyone is waiting for us."

"They're waiting for you."

"They told me to come here to get you."

"You chose to come here on your own."

"Well duh, of course. Cloud's the one that invited us, so I had to ask him for permission to go ask you."

"He asked me before, I said no."

"Gawd, must you be so stubborn? It's unhealthy for you to stay here even though you refurnished it, but that's besides the point. Anyways you also need a tan!" She gave a strong tug.

"Let go, Yuffie."

"No you over depressed vampire, move on with your freaking life, Lucrecia's dea-" She shut her mouth quickly, not wanting Vincent to go all Chaos on her.

He stared down to the floor, "She means nothing to me anymore."

"Whawha what? Did I hear correctly? Vincent dumped his dearly beloved Lucrecia! That's great, so now you're not so depressed, got nothing left to atone for, now lets go!" She said as she tugged him gently this time. Yuffie inwardly cried for joy.

"…You're not going to give up are you?" He said, raising his eyes to see her over joyed face.

She gave him a cheeky smile, "Nope!"

Reluctantly, he said, "Fine."

"Good, now go pack all of the shit you're gonna need!" She said as she tried to push him towards the stairs, but pushing him was like pushing a brick wall, it won't move, but it could fall…

She tackled him with all her might and managed to trip over her other foot in the process and fell on top of him. The two landed in a messy heap on the floor with the ninja on the top.

Vincent started to get up, "I can move on my own." He outstretched his hand to help her up.

"Well yeah, but it's more fun to pester you!" She took his hand and jumped up.

He started to go to his room but turned around as he heard Yuffie follow him.

"What?" She asked looking around.

"I can pack by myself." He deadpanned signaling that the conversation was over.

She paid no mind, "Oh well, we can't have you sneaking off now can we?"

"Aww can't we take the flying piece of junk instead of this piece of junk?" Yuffie whined to the whole group which consisted of Cloud, Tifa, Barret, Cid, Nanaki, Cait Sith and Vincent. Elmyra and Shera came along for the ride.

Tifa, Elmyra and Shera couldn't help but smile at the young woman. Everyone else just sniggered sans Vincent and Cid.

"What are you calling a flying piece of junk!" Cid roared.

"Your oh so precious Highwind." She said sarcastically.

"I'm gonna shove my spear all the way up where the sun doesn't shine if you don't shut up!" He roared; the veins practically popped out of his skin leaving green lines all over his neck. "Besides, it's still busted…" he added quietly, only Shera heard him. She took his hand and squeezed it.

Yuffie dismissed him with a wave of her hand in an 'I'm too good to listen to you' motion and then proceeded to glare at the buggy hoping that it would burst into flames or explode until an idea popped into her head, "Oi! Can I drive?"

Everyone's eyes, minus Vincent's, bulged out of their heads. "No!" The group chorused, sans Vincent.

"Vincent doesn't mind, see see!" She was waving her long ivory colored finger at him.

"He doesn't care about shit, I'll drive." Cid said.

No one seemed to disagree except for Yuffie.

Cid and Barret took the front seats with Elmyra sitting on Barret's lap. How she didn't get her legs stuck under the dash board, no one will ever know. Everyone started to shuffle into the small vehicle until Yuffie said something smart for once.

"Erm, I don't think we're all going to fit…"

Cloud thought about her words for a minute, "We'll shove Cait and his moogle into the trunk. Someone give me a hand."

"Hey!" Cait protested, but no one paid him any mind as Cloud and Vincent shoved him into the trunk along with his and everyone else's luggage. Muffled cries for help were heard.

Yuffie once again stated the obvious, "Anyways, we're still not going to fit."

"..We can stick Nanaki up on the roof…" Vincent said quietly, but not quiet enough for everyone to not hear.

Cloud quickly approved of his plan, "Good idea Vincent." .

"Honey, we can't do that!" Tifa added quickly.

"Why not?"

"Thank you Vincent." Nanaki smiled a wolfish smile that said I'm so going to kill you.

"I didn't mean what I was saying…"

"If we all get into the buggy, the wheels are going to pop. Barret's too big; we should leave him behind. The buggy's also gonna catch on fire with Cid in it, so we should leave him behind too!"

"An we should've thrown ya into tha ocean when we had tha chance." Barret growled.

"Old bastard, I know you're gonna die of lung cancer, a heart attack, leukemia and some other painful shit. Oh and Vinnie's gonna eat you when he goes Chaos!" she smiled sweetly yet oh so evilly.

"I CAN'T BREATH! TIFA I THINK YOU'RE SANDWHICHES ARE ROTTING! AAAAGHHH"

"Everyone quiet!" Tifa yelled. No one heard her.

Frustrated, she screamed on top of her lungs, "WILL YOU ALL JUST BE QUITE!" A rumbling came from the Nibel Mountains. As the terrorists stared at the looming structure they could see a blanket of white quickly descend along with an echo of: "You're gonna burn in hell! BUUUURRRRNNNN! ACK!"

"Anyways," Tifa recovered first from the site, "We'll have to figure this out like adults alright?"

Everyone nodded.

"It seems we'll have to sit on top of each other's laps, except for Nanaki, he'll get his own seat. Any objections?"

No one said anything.

"Alright lets mosey!" Cloud said cheerfully.

"YOU FUCKING FUCKER, WILL YOU SHUT UP WITH THE MOSEY SHIT!"

"Cid!"

"Sorry Sher…"

Everyone started to shuffle into the buggy again.

Yuffie entered after Vincent. The only place left to sit was on his lap. She happily plopped down on top of him, "You know you love me." She flicked his nose.

He couldn't stop the small smile that was forming on his pale lips. Luckily no one saw him since he wasn't wearing his usual attire.

"It seems as though there isn't enough space…" Nanaki said as he stood by himself all alone.

"I guess we're gonna have to rope you onto the roof don't we?" Yuffie said playfully.

"I'm sure we can squeeze him in somewhere." Shera said optimistically.

"I think I'll stay up on the roof…" The lion like beast didn't want to burn anyone with his flaming tale so he jumped on top of the roof and dug his naturally sharp claws into it.

"Shouldn't we tie him?" Tifa asked no one in particular. She made a mental note to apologize to him once they get to their next destination.

Cloud attempted to comfort his soon to be wife, "Ah don't worry, if he can survive Sephiroth then he can survive a little ride on the roof."