Author's Note: So I am new to posting fanfiction. I literally just posted my first chapter about an hour or so ago. I have a hard time sharing my work so I am some what terrified by this. But I am trying to get better at sharing and writing and I know this is the way to do it. I really appreciate any feedback on content or stylistic choices. I just really hope it is constructive criticisms :)
Chapter 1: Triangle?
Riley
I woke up this morning and immediately started thinking. Lately, everything just goes around and around in my head on repeat. I continue thinking as I get ready to school. I am just really worried about everyone. I put on my clothes, something with warm bright colors in the hopes that it will bring up my mood. I just want to keep the peace. I brush my teeth and braid my hair. I want everyone to be happy. I walk into the kitchen and eat the breakfast my mom has set out for me. She made my favorite, Cinnamon Rolls, so that puts a smile on my face. However, this "triangle" seems to be making everyone upset, including those outside of it. It has affected the entire group. Farkle is worried about Maya and me. I mean he loves us both equally and hates seeing both of us in emotional turmoil. I think Zay is most worried about Lucas. He is doing his best to talk him through it. Smackle really just wants to support us in any way she can, but I can see it weighs on her too.
Lucas just seems lost. Half the time he seems zoned out, like he isn't really present. My dad has to pull his attention back to class all the time. He doesn't want to hurt anyone either, which is why he hasn't "picked." I don't like that he is in this position where it really is up to him. He has to pick between me and my best friend. How does this even make sense? If he picks Maya, I will be hurt but I feel like that causes the least damage. If he picks me, he hurts the person I care most about in the world. Maybe I should be thinking about that… No no no.
I'll think about how Maya is changing. I feel like she is more distant than usual. I know this situation is probably hardest for her. We all think it is hard for Lucas because he has to make the decision, but no. Maya hates feeling vulnerable. She hates putting herself emotionally out there because she could end up hurt. This is two fold in this situation because not only is she worried about her relationship with Lucas, she is also probably concerned about the dynamic between she and I. This is what hurts the most, especially because I would never leave her.
Maya walks through the door to walk me to school. I didn't realize how long I had been sitting there just thinking.
Maya
This triangle has really been something else. It has made me think a lot. Like what do I want from a relationship? What attributes do I look for in a partner? Things like that. It has made me change a lot, because these questions sure as hell are not things I would have thought about before. I would have remained unattached and aloof. Overall though, honestly, I am just really confused. I really don't know if I have feelings for Lucas. Riley says I do and, most times, she knows me better than I know myself. All I know for sure is that this situation makes me vulnerable; I keep trying to convince myself that it is because of the fact that I could lose Lucas but I know it is really because I am worried about my relationship with Riley. She has been my rock basically my entire life. She has been there for me through everything: my dad leaving, my mom not totally being there for me for awhile, my difficulty in school, and I need to stop listing things before I get depressed. I have started to pull away to protect myself. I hate this feeling because the one thing I am sure of is Riley and I am even pulling away from her.
Despite this I try my best to maintain the normal routine, I walk to Riley's to pick her up for school. Immediately when I walk in I can sense that Riley is off. She has this intense look on her face. She is super tense and really upset. She brightens up when she sees me though and I can't help but smile.
Riley
As soon as Maya gets here I can feel some of the tension fade away. Despite her apparent distance, she has still shown up every day. She has not run away or disappeared, which the old Maya Hart would have been long gone. This provides me some solace.
"Peaches!"
"Hi Honey." She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. This stings a little for some reason.
"Let me just grab my bag and then we can go."
"No problem." She goes into the kitchen and grabs a cinnamon roll to eat on the way there. I go grab my stuff for school and we head out. She always leads. She takes us through all the traffic successfully and gets us to school on time, mostly because she knows that is important to me.
Maya
We make it to school on time. Originally, this was for Riley because she is such a goody goody, but now it has partially become about me. School is a good distraction. During school there is usually something to keep me busy, to keep me distracted. I am pretty good at pushing my problems aside most of the time, but at least at school Riley can't make me talk to her about them in the Bay Window. I obviously love that time and that she cares for me so deeply, but the vulnerability of it all has been especially hard lately. I have been trying my best to dodge the questions but seeing Riley get upset by this makes me cave.
We walk up the stairs and are immediately greeted by Farkle, Smackle, Zay,... and Lucas. Riley quickly says hi to everyone and gives them all hugs. I hang back. When she hugs Lucas… I don't know… it hurts. Again, I tell myself it is because of the triangle. However, I am starting to question the triangle. Shouldn't I be excited to see Lucas? Shouldn't I want to talk to him and think about him like all the time? When I see him, all I want to do is call him Bucky McBoing Boing and scream Ha Hurr in his face. I don't think those are romantic feelings. Maybe Riley was wrong… I push it aside.
"Hey Farkle."
"Hey Maya! How are you?"
"I'm fine." I'm being short so Farkle fills the silence. He knows me pretty well at this point, not as well as Riley, but a close second. He can tell I am trying to distract myself from the fact that Riley and Lucas are still talking. That every once in awhile Riley reaches up and touches his arm.
The bell rings and I am relieved to go to class. At least there desks separate us.