Summary: Join our timid harem hero as he takes the bitter pill called manhood! Will Tenchi embrace his masculinity or will this pill turn into a painful suppository?

Rated: M - Angst/Romance

Forward: Tenchi Masaki is a lame teenager. He's spineless, oblivious, and completely overshadowed by his much more interesting love interests. While this worked fine for us as kids watching Toonami, a recent reviewing prompted me to write this addition. This story takes place sometime after the events of Tenchi Universe, just don't hold me to it.

Warning: I'm going to delve into some themes, particularly of masculinity and the male-female dynamic, that not every reader will be comfortable with. My target audience is younger guys, the kind of guys who read Tenchi Muyo fanfiction in 2017.

CHAPTER 1: No Need for Low T

Tenchi's walk back to the Masaki House was quiet, which was usually a rare blessing these days. But not today, not after his talk with his doctor. The last thing he wanted was time to himself, to think about what was wrong with him.

"Worst of it is," Tenchi groaned, "I have to tell Washu she was right."

His prescribed pills came in a white parcel, which he kept hidden away in his pocket. He didn't want to worry the girls. They could do that well enough on their own. Especially Ayeka, who was convinced Tenchi had a terminal illness.

"Too many soap operas," Tenchi smiled. He entered the house, but couldn't get his shoes off before the inquisition began.

"Lord Tenchi! Oh heavens, tell me it isn't cancer—I won't allow it!" Ayeka shouted, "No tumors, either!"

Ryoko materialized at Tenchi's side, her finger doing it's regular rounds across his chest. "My Tenchi doesn't get sick, but when he does," she purred, "his nurse will attend him at his bedside."

"Why, I'll sue for malpractice if you get any such idea!"

"Oh yeah, you and what attorney, princess?"

The two were having one of their regular spats. It was up to Tenchi, as usual, to intervene. "Relax, you two! It was just a routine check up. Nothing to worry about."

He scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. It was enough to fool the princess and the space pirate, but not the resident genius who sat cross-legged at the base of the stairs.

With a hand under her chin, Washu's eyes pierced right through the boy. "I'm going to have to reserve Tenchi for a minute, in my laboratory."

"Oh Tenchi you came home just in time! Dinner's ready," Sasami chimed in, much to his relief.

"Boy, I sure am starved! Let's eat." He smiled and walked, or rather, was carried to the dining room by the two girls at his side.

Washu's voice carried well after he left. "After dinner, then."

-after dinner-

Tenchi gasped as he closed shut the laboratory door behind him. Dinner had gone to hell in a handbasket. Since it was summer it was also beach season, and the group had a trip planned in a couple of days.

So when Sasami offered him seconds, he politely refused, saying he didn't want to wind up bloated like a beached whale. Ryoko and Ayeka spat their food out like it was poisoned, and now the Masaki household had a hunger strike on their hands.

"What am I gonna do with those two?" Tenchi sighed.

"I'd worry about myself, if I were you," a demonic voice echoed. Tenchi jumped out of fear, fear of being in another one of Washu's hellish dimensions.

Though when he turned around, it was just Washu. "Heh-heh. My voice changer's a real number, isn't it? But sit down, sit down."

Tenchi noticed that Washu was sitting on the only chair in the room. The only other place to sit looked an awful lot a psychiatrist's couch. "I'm ah, not so sure about this."

"Genius genius! Washu's a genius!" The infamous pair of Washu's puppets popped on Tenchi's shoulders and forced him forward.

"Ah, okay, okay!" Tenchi sighed, "Let's just get this over with."

"That's the spirit!" Washu scooted her chair closer, "So, did the primitive Earth devices affirm my calculations?"

"Uh, yeah I guess," Tenchi admitted, "I was diagnosed with low testosterone, which I guess explains my lack of energy."

"Among other details best left unsaid, I suspect," Washu grinned and pointed to a nearby computer screen. It was a diagram of Tenchi.

"In any case, you have your Juraian heritage to blame. Juraians are highly attuned to what humans call hormones, and I noticed even the tapwater here is infested with estrogen. It's no wonder Sasami has started to—"

"Estrogen in the water? That's crazy talk, Washu."

"Well call me crazy but I know a generation of feminized men when I see one. Lucky for you, I've taken the liberty to prepare a cure!" Washu pulled out a comically large syringe, "Turn over and drop your pants, this might sting a little!"

"Nooooo way!" Tenchi yelled as quickly as his legs ran, "I've got a prescription for pills and you're not injecting me with anything Washuuu!"

"But that's so inefficient!"