The room didn't fall silent when she entered. Had she bothered to notice, she would probably have found it a little disappointing, and simply made do with the curious and often somewhat hungry stares that followed her to the bar.
As it was, she was a little distracted right now, and upon reaching the bar she seized the collar of the toughest looking person she could find and wrenched him round to look her in the face.
"I'm lookin' for a fella," she snarled. "Name of Shane. You know of anyone called that?"
The man gave her a sneering smile filled with yellow teeth and stinking breath.
"How about I buy you a drink first, sweet thing?" he asked.
"Let me rephrase that."
She threw him to the ground, wrenched her blaster from straps on her back and fired into the air. An immense tongue of flame flared out and scorched the ceiling, leaving a large and ugly black stain and a stench of burnt plaster, before it collapsed in on itself and an orangish-red slug landed on her shoulder and snarled at the now terrified patrons.
"Tell me where I can find the Shane lad," she growled, slotting a fresh canister into her blaster, "or I'll burn all your bloody brains out."
However, contrary to the above entrance, heads were definitely immediately turned by the arrival of a quintet of wheel-driven mechas as they rumbled into town, and not just because it had been a while since any of them had come to visit (and for one, it was his first time there).
They skidded to a halt upon reaching the familiar building.
"Oh great," Eli said with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. "This place again?"
"Yep," Pronto said obliviously, "this was the location of the distress call! I shall accept my thanks in the form of monetary donations or a box of chocolates. No heart shapes please."
"But isn't this the place we first met the Unbeatable Master?" Kord pointed out. "Looks like they ain't having a whole lot of luck when it comes to customers."
"Do I want to know?" Junjie asked quietly.
"No," Trixie replied. "Odds are you really don't."
Eli dismounted and rested his now-removed helmet on the handlebars of his mecha.
"In any case," he said, holding up a canister for Burpy to jump into, "if there really is a brawl in there, somebody's going to have to deal with it."
Burpy squeaked in approval and was slotted into the blaster, and Eli approached the entrance with his finger on the trigger.
He quickly had to step out of the way as a former patron was thrown out of the building, scrambled to her feet and ran away whimpering in terror.
Eli spent several seconds watching after her. Judging by the fact that only one mechabeast - this one shaped like a unicorn, oddly enough - was parked outside, there were either very few people left in there or just one. And with how frightened that other woman had been, they were most likely rather tough.
"If..." he said slowly, "...if I'm not out in five minutes..."
The rest of the group gave him a semi-cheerful thumb's up, Junjie more hesitantly than the rest.
After taking a deep, not-very-effective-at-calming breath, Eli walked forward, entered the building and prepared to fire.
He was met with a scene of chaos. Tables, chairs and stools alike were overthrown and if not smoking or smouldering then at least singed. The mirror behind the bar and a majority of the bottles there were smashed beyond repair and the walls were scorched almost completely black.
A dark-haired woman stood at the still-smoking bar, sipping from a glass of golden-brown liquid, her face obscured by the broken glass of the mirror she was facing. Eli made sure that if he was to fire, he wouldn't miss.
"What's your business here, miss?" he demanded, knowing for sure now that she was not the Unbeatable Master. "Who are you?"
"Not now, lad," she said in an oddly accented voice. "I'm waiting for the Shane."
Eli found himself thankful for his Surface upbringing, because otherwise he would never have been able to identify her accent as Scottish. She sounded almost like the fish-people pirates he didn't have very fond memories of.
"Hate to disappoint you," he said sternly, "but I'm already here."
She turned to face him with an expression of shock, and Eli was struck by how young she was. He didn't know what he had expected, but she couldn't have been more than twenty. Twenty-one at most. Her look seemed to be a bizarre combination of goth and what seemed like 20s flapper. Lots of red and black and bits of blue and purple, and a likely excess of facial piercings (the nose stud made sense, but did she really need three rings in one eyebrow?).
"What?" she exclaimed, her blue eyes widening in shock upon catching sight of him. "You? Are you having me on?!"
"No," Eli said, feeling annoyed, "I'm not."
"But you can't be!" she giggled.
"Why?" asked Eli. "Because I'm too skinny?"
"No," said the woman as she failed to stifle her chuckles, "because your voice ain't broken yet!"
Eli made sure to appear as unimpressed as possible as she laughed.
"Look," he said as her chuckles began to die down, "it's obvious you're the one who's responsible for all of..." he gestured to the ruined room, "this, so if you don't explain yourself, I'll be forced to open fire."
Burpy smiled fiercely in his canister.
"You can't be the Shane," she said, although it sounded more like 'canny' than 'can't'. "I've heard about the Shane. He's a big bloke, tough, muscly. Me mam told me all kinds of stories about..."
She trailed off, staring at Eli, who raised an eyebrow as if to say 'what did you expect?'
"Oh," she said, comprehension dawning on her. "So you'd be his young lad then. Retired, has he? Or did he peg it?"
"Will Shane isn't here," Eli said before this could go any further. "I'm his son. I'm Eli Shane. Now for the last time; tell me why you did this!"
"If you really are the Shane," the woman said with a cocky smile dancing around her purple glossed lips, "then how about this? I'll show you mine if you show me yours."
"Show you what?!" Eli asked angrily. "What would I have to-"
As he spoke, she picked up a slug from behind her on the bar, and he fell silent when she held it forward and revealed that it was almost identical to the one he had in his own blaster. The main difference, besides the more reddish hue of its body, was that it lacked the Megamorph markings that Burpy bore on his protoform, and instead wore the single most infuriated scowl the teen had ever seen on a slug.
"This is Fury," the woman said proudly. "Living relic of me mam. Meaningful name, as you can plainly see by his cute little face. If you're really the Shane, you'll have one of your own, won't you? Ain't that the rule? One Infurnus per realm, always owned by the guardian? That's what me mam told me."
She stepped to one side, allowing Eli to see a navy blue and purple plated blaster lying on the bar, inactive and unloaded, and she gestured to it as if presenting it as a prize on a quiz show.
"I ain't going to shoot at you, see?" she said. "I ain't even armed. Come on. We ain't got all day, you know."
Though he was still apprehensive, Eli emptied his blaster onto his hand and held up Burpy for her to see. The little Infurnus squeaked in surprise at the sight of another of his species, but jumped in fright as Fury bared his teeth and hissed.
"It's okay, Burpy," Eli said in what he hoped was a comforting tone. "I won't let either of them hurt you."
"Hurt him?" asked the woman. "What sort of nutjob lass d'you think I am?"
"One who starts ridiculously destructive tavern brawls?" Eli replied.
"I had to get your attention somehow," the woman said calmly as Fury leapt onto her shoulder. "Me mam told me how the Shanes are always looking out for trouble to sort out, so I figured the bigger mess I made, the more likely it was that you'd come and try to stop me!"
Her pleasant little smirk was far too innocent-looking for someone boasting about violence, but the fact that she hadn't tried to shoot Eli yet seemed something to be thankful for. If she really was the culprit, it would probably be best not to tick her off. The furniture was still smoking, after all.
She picked up the blaster from the bar and holstered it on her back.
"Are you actually planning on telling me your name any time soon?" asked Eli. "Or telling me what you wanted me for?"
"Me name's Perry," the woman said proudly. "Perry McLinden. And I need your help."
After one final tug, Kord took his wrench away from Junjie's mecha.
"There you go, bro," he said. "Suspension just needed a bit of tightening is all. No wonder you were finding it bumpy."
"Thank you," Junjie said politely. "I'll try to remember this in the future."
"Yes, yes," Pronto said impatiently. "We are all very pleased that Junjie's ride has been maintained to a substantial degree, but is no-one else smelling smoke coming from in there?"
"I'd think we'd know if it was Eli who was burning," Trixie pointed out. "It's probably smelled like that since before we arrived."
"Indeed," said Pronto, and sniffed the air, "but still..."
To the bemusement of the rest of the gang, he crouched down on the ground and started sniffing at the earth.
"I am picking up scents of... scorched timber," he reported, "and plaster, and..."
He froze.
"Sarsaparilla," he gasped. "They burned the sarsaparilla!"
He leapt up and made to dive into the building.
"No!" Trixie cried as she snatched up the back of his shirt. "It's too late!"
"Dude, just leave it!" Kord added as he tried to wrench the molenoid back by the shoulders.
"But they can't!" Pronto sounded on the edge of tears.
"These are the people I have thrown my lot in with..." Junjie muttered, too quietly for anyone to hear, and he rubbed at his forehead.
When silence suddenly fell, he looked up.
A young woman had emerged from the tavern and was staring at the group in bafflement.
"So, uh," she said awkwardly, "is this, like, a private party or can any old person jump in? 'Coz there's still a bit of booze left unburnt in there if you lot want at it."
She pointed over one shoulder at the building.
"I assume you are the one responsible for the destruction," Junjie said as he stepped forward and the rest righted themselves. "I don't even want to know how much damage you have caused."
"What can I say?" the woman said with a shrug. "I always have been a bit of a fiery redhead."
She smirked proudly at the quartet.
"Has she not noticed that her hair is black?" Pronto whispered hoarsely to Kord.
"Not just black!" the woman said, and pointed at where the strands curled up on her right cheek. "There's bits of blue and purple too, see? 'Sides, I am a natural redhead. Check out me eyebrows!"
"It's okay, guys," Eli said as he exited the building. "She's safe."
"Oh yeah, she's clearly safe," Trixie said sarcastically, "but you know, I'm not 100% sure about us."
"It's okay, I don't bite," said the woman. "Not unless you want me to. Name's Perry, by the way, Perry McLinden, thanks for asking."
"Okay, Perry McLinden," Pronto said emphatically, and prodded her in the leg to further convey his anger. "Mayhaps you could tell us why you felt a need to blow up this wonderful establishment?"
"I didn't blow it up!" Perry argued, though it sounded more like she said 'didney'. "Fury tends to get over-excited when we go somewhere new. And besides, it weren't wonderful. It reeked in there. Somewhere like that is made to get wrecked."
"Wait a minute," Kord spoke up. "Your name's McLinden? Are you related to Lizzy McLinden? The woman who watches over the Northern realms?"
Perry cocked her head in curiosity.
"Knew about me mam, did you?" she asked.
"She's your mom?!" Kord exclaimed excitedly.
"You're that Perry McLinden?!" cried Trixie.
"I feel as if I'm missing something," Junjie muttered to Eli.
"You aren't alone," Eli replied.
"It's almost hard to believe the McLindens are still operating," said Kord. "I mean, it's been so long. How is ol' Lizzy? Nobody's heard anything about her for years."
"Well, it's hard to stay in the public eye," said Perry, "if you're dead."
"Oh..." Kord said quietly, and he and Trixie visibly deflated.
"Aye," Perry said simply.
"Yes, yes," Pronto said impatiently, "we are all very sad to hear about Ms Lizzy's passing, but is there any chance we could get to the point?"
"Thanks, Pronto," Eli said.
"I aim to please," Pronto responded with a smug smile.
"So then, Perry," said Eli, and he crossed his arms to convey his anger and impatience. "If Kord and Trixie are right and you really do have your own realm to defend, why did you decide to come and bust up a bar in the 99 Caverns?"
"I already said, didn't I?" asked Perry. "I wanted the Shane to come running 'coz I need your help!"
"You have a strange way of showing it," said Junjie.
Perry gave him an incensed glare.
"Now look," she said. "I'll be the first to admit that I'm a big tough independent Highland lass who don't need no bloke coming to save her gorgeous hindquarters, but I ain't stupid and I know when I'm in over my head. Some weirdos have shown up in me realm and I know they're weirdos because they're doing something to the slugs. Something nasty."
"Oh boy," said Kord. "They wouldn't happen to be making the slugs dark coloured and super aggressive, would they?"
Perry nodded.
"Ghouls," said Trixie. "Of course it's ghouls again."
"But we stopped Dr Blakk," Eli pointed out. "And the Elementals are perfectly fine, aren't they? So unless someone was trying to pick up where he left off..."
"You wouldn't happen to have seen any strangers with short blond hair, a vest and an extremely bad attitude, would you?" asked Pronto. "Because if he tries to kill you, you tell him just how rude that is!"
"No blond blokes," said Perry, "and if there were, I'd've found out about it. No, it's a bunch of brunettes. Four of 'em, I've heard. Setting up factory things where they do horrible things to slugs. And they've all got this weird symbol on them that looks kinda like a bright red V. Eldritch looking thing."
Eli sighed in exasperation and pinched his brow.
"Blakk's ex-employees," he muttered. "Should've known someone would try to keep his business going."
"And whatever it is those scuggans are doing to the slugs," Perry continued, "it's hurting my home. Plants are dying and people are getting sick. I have plenty of friends in my realm, but not all of them are tough enough to help me take them down. I need someone who's experienced. Someone who's had proper training, like me. I'm not asking for someone like me mam - I doubt anyone could be that epic - but I'd like someone at least on the same level as me."
She glared at the group with determination glittering in her vivid blue eyes.
Eli looked around at them too, trying to gauge their reactions. Kord and Trixie looked both confused and concerned, Pronto was mostly confused and Junjie appeared rather apprehensive. Personally, Eli knew that he couldn't just refuse this woman's request to her face, especially since she was clearly being honest about her troubles, but at the same time, things were troublesome enough in this realm as they were. It was likely that leaving to deal with the affairs of a set of caverns that weren't his own wouldn't work out very well in the long run.
This wasn't going to be easy...
"I'm sorry," he said, "but we can't help you."
"What?!" Perry shouted angrily.
"I want to," Eli added quickly. "Believe me, I do! I mean, it's obvious you really need help, but I've got my own realm to take care of and I can't afford to just up and leave it. Not when we've finally got things peaceful. Plus if these really are Blakk loyalists, there's a chance there could be some left here as well as in your place."
Perry's gloved fists clenched and her teeth were gritted in rage.
"I can't help," Eli repeated. "I'm sorry."
She closed her eyes and heaved a heavy sigh.
"Fine," she hissed.
She pushed through the group and strode over to the unicorn mecha, swinging her clenched fists hard enough to blacken an eye, before she mounted it and galloped down the road and out of sight.
"That... could've gone a lot worse," Trixie said optimistically.
"And I think you will agree that it could have gone far better," Pronto said pessimistically.
"Never actually met a McLinden before," said Kord. "I don't know what I expected, but I don't think it was for her to be so... I dunno, angry."
"I meant what I said to her," said Eli. "If Blakk loyalists are ghouling slugs again, that means we're going to have to be on our guard. Hopefully we won't reach Darkbane invasion level, but you guys should understand that she was right and this is happening, the 99 Caverns need their Shane. I want to help her, but I can't afford to go."
"But I can."
All eyes fell upon the newest addition to the gang.
"The 99 Caverns need their Shane," Junjie echoed, "and I won't say or do anything to deny that, but you were caring for this realm long before I entered it, and dare I say, you have done a more than decent job of it. And while I am skilled enough to do the same, I no longer have a realm of my own to defend. Not anymore."
His gaze wandered to the direction Perry had left in.
"That woman is in need of aid," he stated, "and if I am available to provide it, I fail to see why I should withhold my skill from where it is needed."
He looked back to the group.
"Besides," he said, "I don't want to be burdening you all for the rest of my life."
He turned to his Infurnus.
"What about you, Joo-Joo?" he asked. "Would you like to visit another realm?"
Joo-Joo nodded with a face of determination.
"You aren't burdening us, bro," said Kord with a face reflecting slight sadness.
"Well, he is another mouth to feed," Pronto pointed out.
"Are you sure about this, Junjie?" asked Trixie. "You don't know what you might find in the North. From what she said, it sounds like it's pretty dangerous."
"I would never have brought up the subject if I was uncertain," said Junjie. "She wanted a Shane, or at least a person of equivalent skill. I possess that skill and I would be remisce if I refused to put it to use."
A quiet pause followed as Eli and Burpy shared a glance.
"I'm a bit new to this whole Northern realms thing," said Eli, "but Junjie, if you want to go and help her, I won't stop you. Just as long as you come back once you're sure everything's safe."
Junjie placed a hand over his heart.
"I will," he said, and bowed. "I promise."
"Then you'd better hurry," Kord suggested, "'coz I don't think she was planning on slowing down anytime soon."
With a nod, the fur-clad fighter mounted his mecha and donned his helmet.
"I will return," he promised.
He revved up his engine and galloped away in the direction Perry had taken, and it wasn't long before he activated wheel mode and the high-pitched rumbling of his engine faded into the distance.
"It's going to be weird without him around," said Eli. "I'd just gotten used to him."
"He said he'll be back," Trixie reminded him. "He seems to be pretty good at keeping promises."
Eli smiled.
"So tell me," he said, "what exactly is this Northern realm?"
Junjie could feel his teeth gritting as he sped down the track, hoping he was driving in the right direction. For all he knew there could be a side road he had missed and he was even further from the McLinden woman than he had been when he'd first set out. To return now after such a departure would feel extremely humiliating.
But then he saw her, galloping up ahead, revving her engine every now and then for extra speed. Junjie pressed further forward in effort to catch up.
'She's certainly hot-blooded,' he found himself thinking as he drew closer. 'I hope this won't be a decision I come to regret.'
It wasn't long before he was driving alongside her, but she was focused intently on the road ahead and hadn't noticed his approach.
"Ms McLinden!" He had to shout to be audible over the roar of his engine.
She glanced quickly to the side and didn't appear to see him until she looked again, and her eyes widened in alarm. Junjie didn't change his expression, but she did: she scowled and turned back to her path, obviously deliberately ignoring him.
Junjie, however, was faster. He accelerated until he was quite a distance ahead of her and then slammed onto the brakes, skidding to a halt and blocking the road, and she hit her brakes equally as hard and came to a rest mere feet from where he had stopped and switched out of wheel mode.
"Crivens, what's your damage, you scunner?!" she demanded. "I almost ran you down!"
"I want to help you," said Junjie.
Perry's scowl turned from rage to bafflement.
"You what?" she said, and dismounted.
"I don't know if you had noticed," said Junjie, and he too dismounted and removed his helmet, "but I am not from the Western region. My true home lies far to the east of the 99 Caverns."
"Oh, you're an Eastern bloke, are you?" said Perry. "Mam had some dealings with your folks back in the day. Said your lot were stoic, but decent enough. But she told me that place was pretty much annihilated."
Junjie said nothing.
It wasn't long before comprehension dawned on her.
"Oh," she said. "Oh, I see. Right."
"My home is no longer welcoming," said Junjie, "and since it is no longer my realm to protect, it simply would neither make sense nor feel right to ignore your request in what is obviously a time of need. I may not be a Shane, but that does not mean I don't have the abilities of one. For that reason, I am offering you my skills, to put to use in any manner you desire."
He bowed to her, hoping to convey it as a symbol of loyalty, and when he straightened up he saw that she was staring at him, tapping her purple lips and clearly deep in thought.
"How am I supposed to know this ain't a bunch of rotten old haggis?" she asked.
"It's simple," said Junjie. "You cannot. The most that you can do is trust me."
Perry pursed her lips. She was obviously still thinking. Eventually, she sighed.
"Fair enough," she said. "If you really are as good as you say you are, I'll look forward to seeing you prove it. Just understand that if you really are just spinning yarns, I'll send you back home in a briefcase."
"Trust me," said Junjie, who couldn't avoid faintly smiling at the bizarre threat, "it shall not ever come to that."
Perry looked him up and down.
"We'll see," she said.
She climbed back onto her mecha, and Junjie did the same with his own, and together they started moving down the road once more.
"Athos?"
She looked round from the window at her younger sister.
"What is it, Porthos?" she asked.
"I've just received a report from Aramis," said Porthos. "Construction of the third drill is complete and we're waiting for the order for activation."
Athos smiled to herself.
"Very well," she said. "Tell Aramis she should go out and bring us some more slugs to work on. D'Artagnan is capable of activating the drills alone, after all. Silly little thing should be able to push a button at least."
Porthos gave a salute with her withered hand and departed from the room, and Athos returned to watching out the window.
"This world is going to be ours," she muttered to herself. "I'll make sure of that."