AN: This is a one-shot future take for my story Recrortus. It is recommended that you have already read Recrortus otherwise this will most likely make no sense. This one-shot was inspired by an emotional response I had recently as a result of a recent traumatic event.

Warning: This story refers to IVF loss and miscarriage.

Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephanie Meyers.

They had discussed it over and over. Sat together whilst the children were asleep, agonising over the small metal container that had brought both wonder and complication to their lives.

Of the original contents only one embryo remained, their most recent disappointment triggering the decision to discontinue the process, to leave the single remaining bud of life snug and sure in its secure home.

They agreed that this was one opportunity they would never take, would never put Edward's life and health at risk again, and never put the family through the stress and complications that the process always posed.

It was not just the physical trauma of the procedure that they were loath to replicate, but the disturbance to the family. The stress of creating and maintaining a new cover story was difficult enough when the process was a success, but this increased exponentially when the process failed resulting in devastation as it became clear that the disruption was all for naught. Each loss was inevitably followed by Carlisle's frenzied research, leaving a physically damaged and emotionally traumatised Edward to push aside his own pain for the sake of their children.

The closure of this part of their lives had been discussed, agreed upon and put aside, never to be spoken of. All reminders were packed away. Furniture and clothing given to charity, while the small container was set on a shelf in Edward's music room; between photos of their family and a few small belongings from his childhood home obtained from Wilhelm.

The shelf had all the hallmarks of a shrine and was off limits to anyone bar Edward. The small container was positioned in pride of place amongst the heirlooms, in such a way that should have raised questions, but it did not. Carlisle had always allowed for his mates idiosyncrasies, particularly in respect to this matter.

So while the memories would be with them for ever, they chose to shut them away and focus on their family and careers. Carlisle returned to his love of medical research and boys had their own activities, leaving Edward to spend his time teaching music and caring for the house and family. After a while they settled into a domestic routine that could only be rivalled by a 1950's sitcom.

This appearance of domesticity was cracked open by something as slight as a young boy not wanting to interrupt on his daddy as he was cooking dinner.

~*.*~

It was an accident.

The youngest Cullen had been tasked to bring to class a copy of his baby photo. He had always loved the photo of him, taken minutes after his birth, housed in the silver frame in daddy's music room. Not knowing where any other photos had been stored away, he entered the room with the intention of taking a copy of the favoured image before returning it back to its home on the shelf. Moving the piano bench to use as a step he proceeded to climb the shelves, stretching to reach the sought after object.

The collapse of the shelf was inevitable as was the scattering of the artefacts all over the room. What the child could not have anticipated was that the cylindrical container, located front and centre on the shelf, would spin across the room and smash into the marble fireplace on the opposite side of the room.

Sitting in the middle of the debris, the sought after photo in his hands, the child could only gape at the devastation he had caused. Movement at the doorway made him look up to the horrified gaze of his daddy. Edwards gaze swept across the room to fall on the canister torn opened by the impact, its contents leaking onto the hearth.

The child held his breath waiting for his daddy to speak. When the silence become too much he pled, "Daddy…"

Edward fixed his black eyed gaze on the child. "Get out!" he whispered. When the child didn't move, frozen in shock and fear, Edward took a step forward raising his voice. "Get Out, NOW!"

The child dropped the photo frame and bolted past his daddy and out the door. Running outside, he threw himself against the side of the house trembling and sobbing in response to both the accident and his daddy's reaction to it. His daddy NEVER yelled, even when he was so sad and his head hurt from the noises inside, he had never raised his voice at them. He knew he had crossed a line, had committed a crime that he may never be forgiven for. Too afraid to move, he stayed huddled on the ground, waiting for one of his family to find him.

Edward ignored the boy scurrying away; he ignored the shelf hanging from the wall and the debris surrounding it. His whole focus was on the small container and the sharp pain that was developing in his chest. Dropping to his knees he shuffled closer to the damaged container but hesitated, unable to touch the scene, lest he damage the precious item any more. He sat and watched, powerless to do anything other than sink into his pain.

~*.*~

Carlisle drove home with a smile on his face. Looking over to his eldest son he could not believe how wonderful things were for him and his family. Whilst, due to the nature of cloning genetics, Masen was the spitting image of Edward, in terms of behaviour and temperament the young man was much like Carlisle. So much so that the young man had followed his father's footsteps into medicine, a fact which Carlisle was unashamedly proud, having to be reined in a number of times by both Edward and Wilhelm, who continued to visit his godson regularly.

Masen looked over at his grinning father's grin and smiled. "Do you still need me to babysit tonight?" he asked.

Carlisle looked over and nodded, "If you wouldn't mind, I think I need to get your daddy out of the house for a few hours."

It was more of a courtesy that his parents asked Masen to help, it was not like he ever had any other plans. When it came to those outside of the family, Masen was an introverted soul and had never had any sort of interested in either boys or girls. Carlisle had been somewhat relieved as it meant they had not had to face the complications of introducing the family to outsiders. However on the flip side he had been a little perplexed about his son's lack of hormonal drive but was not able to convince Edward to allow tests to be performed on the boys to see if this was a side effect of the early cloning techniques used to conceive them or something specific to Masen as an individual.

He sighed internally, there were something's that he could do nothing about and would have to accept not knowing the answers.

As they pulled up to the house both he and Masen frowned at the sight of one of Edward's music students was sitting on the front porch looking very uncomfortable. Seeing Carlisle the teenage girl gestured in the direction of the side of the house. Carlisle walked over to the girl while Masen walked round the side of the house gasping at the sight of his baby brother hunched in a ball, sobbing quietly.

Not even bothering to ask why, he swept the boy into his arms and hugging him closely, walking to the front of the house. Carlisle turned and gasped at the sight of his youngest son in his eldest arms. He quickly sent the young girl home, ringing her mother to let her know that Mr Cullen had to cancel her lesson and that he would be in touch to reschedule.

Reaching out to Masen he took his little boy in his arms and was shocked as the child clung to his shirt sobbing into his chest.

"Sweetheart, Eli" he murmured. "What is wrong? Shh… Please calm down. Tell me what happened."

The boy started to cry louder, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, it was an accident."

No more the wiser Carlisle tried again, "Elias! What was an accident? Shh…its alright…where's daddy?"

"He…kicked…me…out…I didn't…mean to…it…was…an accident…he was…sooooo…angry," Elias sobbed and hiccupped through his explanation and then once again dissolved into howls. Carlisle kissed the child's brow and then handed him back to his brother. "Masen, take Eli to the lake house and try and calm him down. I will find out what happened from daddy and then ring you."

Masen nodded. Walking back to the car he strapped the still sobbing child into his seat and drove off in the direction of the family lake house, a good hour's drive away.

Steeling himself for whatever he was to encounter inside, Carlisle opened the front door. He and Edward had seen each other at their very best and very worst, as such he was not worried about what he might face. He was more worried that Edward appeared to have screamed at one of their children and was apprehensive about the consequences of that, for both father and son.

Carlisle was easily able to pinpoint Edward's location; his scent, his very presence, drew Carlisle to his mate. Entering the music room, Carlisle stopped at the tableau before him. Looking around the room he could clear see WHAT has happened. The upturned piano stool, fallen shelf and broken objects gave little doubt as to young Elias' activities. It did not explain Edward's reaction or the young boy being banished outside. Looking to Edward he noted his mate had not moved at all in reaction to his presence. Crouched around something located on the fireplace hearth, Edward seemed frozen in place, hands over his mouth his eyes focussed on the item.

Carlisle followed Edwards gaze to the apparent cause of all the anguish. He frowned at the sight of the shattered embryo canister; he didn't understand why Edward would be so upset. It wasn't like they were ever going to use the contents ever again. They had agreed that Elias would be their last (IVF) child.

Carlisle realised he had not been controlling his thoughts when Edward started to howl in pain, clutching at both his chest and belly. Unable to see his mate so traumatised Carlisle threw himself on his knees and wrapped his arms around Edward, pulling him tightly to his chest and rocking gently in an action similar to those he made with his son.

Smoothing Edward's hair from his eyes he gently kissed Edwards forehead. Carlisle filled his mind with soothing images, mainly of water and boating, as he tried to calm the mind reader. Slowly the pitiful noises started to subside although Carlisle now found an unresponsive Edward had an almost unbreakable grasp around Carlisle's neck.

Buried in Carlisle's embrace Edward started to moan, initially Carlisle could not understand what Edward was saying, but slowly pieced together the wretched mantra. "He's gone, Williams gone."

Carlisle felt his body clench at Edwards words. That name brought up painful memories of a time that they had agreed to not speak of. It appeared that a number of things that Carlisle had thought they had put to rest had continued to fester in Edwards mind.

"Who's William, darling?" he asked quietly, dreading that something had triggered memories of Oberlin and the time when Carlisle's jealousy had nearly destroyed them both. Lost in his panic he almost missed Edward's response.

"My baby, my baby boy William," Edward gasped. Carlisle was confused; they had no child William, but then thinking about the context he looked to the broken container. Surely Edward had not named the embryo, had not perceived the group of cells as an individual, a child, a member of their family with their own identity and potential.

Carlisle abruptly thought of each of the failures that they had had over the years, he suddenly had a sinking feeling that this breakdown had been a long time coming. Was it possible that Edward had named each of the embryos that they had lost, had he seen each embryo as a child, had he been harbouring a desire to have one last try despite his assurances to Carlisle and Wilhelm that he was happy to call it a day?

"I didn't…" Edward sobbed in response to Carlisle's unspoken thoughts. "I didn't deceive you both, I honestly thought I didn't want to try again…but…it was reassuring to keep the container, that there was the potential of another, that even if I never had another child, I knew in my mind that I still could. It was my unborn child, the one I would never have but could always try for…but now…"

His body started to shake again in distress; his breath came out as hiccups as his anguish rose. Carlisle held on tighter increasingly worried at Edward's breakdown.

"But what, my darling? What has got you so upset?" Carlisle gently brushed Edward's hair from his eyes.

Edward looked up at his mate, pain in his eyes. "I know we agreed we would not try again, I agreed with that decision, I agreed that I did not want to have another child, go through all of that again. But now that there is no longer even the potential to have another…it hurts so much…it hurts that I despite what I convinced myself I never lost that desire…that unconsciously I always wanted another child…it is gut wrenching that despite what I know inside my head…I blame Elias for that loss. Oh God, Elias! What have I done?" His voice rose with every statement finally ending in a wail at the memory of yelling at his son and the feeling of bitterness that he still felt towards the boy.

Carlisle buried his face in Edward's hair, unsure what to do. This was more than distress at one unfortunate accident; this was long term psychological suffering triggered by the traumatic event. This situation had an eerie familiarity to one they had encountered when Edward was younger; when he had clung to his guilt and pain over the death of a human woman, symbolized by a shattered tea set. This situation resulted in a period of distance and distress for them both, but they had recovered stronger than ever.

They had recovered from that, they could do so now.

He pushed his husband away at arm's length, forcing the other to look at him. "Edward!" Carlisle gently squeezed Edward's arms. "We can get through this together as a family, we can help you grieve for this loss and all the others you have been keeping to yourself."

Edward looked up surprised. Carlisle nodded, "I didn't understand the extent of the impact that the miscarriage and unsuccessful implantations had on you emotionally and I am so sorry that I focussed on the physical issues without thinking what this was doing to your mind."

Carlisle moved forward holding Edwards face gently in his hands, "I promise I will be here for you now, I will help you heal."

"How?" Edward whispered the pain was too recent, too raw for him to see a way through it.

Carlisle ran his hand through Edward's hair and down his neck, "first we clean up in here, making sure everything is carefully picked up and put somewhere safe." Edward released the breath he was holding, Carlisle's clear acceptance that the damaged objects still had emotional value to Edward demonstrated his understanding that Edward was not able to face getting rid of them at this stage.

"Then?" he prompted.

"Then we go to the lake house and you forgive Elias and yourself and show our son, no matter how you feel right now, that you love him and that you are sorry for frightening him." Carlisle knew that it would take time for father and son to recover, but as the adult Edward needed to put aside all resentment and show Elias the unconditional love that Carlisle knew Edward felt for their children.

Edward looked up at Carlisle with an intensity that made the other tremble; he leaned forward and gently kissed his mate. "Thank you," he whispered.

No more was said as the couple rose and started the journey towards Edward's recovery.