The Literature Juxtaposition

Leonard sat down at his usual spot across from Sheldon in the Caltech Cafeteria.

"Hey, guys." He picked up his fork but received no reply. Rather, his colleagues were all staring at Sheldon who was muttering and furiously typing away on his phone.

"What's going on?"

"Dude, something's wrong with Sheldon." Raj answered, not taking his eyes off the lanky scientist.

"We think he's trying to phone home." Howard stared in amazement.

"Howard," To everyone's surprise, Sheldon finally spoke; albeit, with a hint of panic. "As much as I appreciate being compared to a simply delightful extra-terrestrial, I am in no condition to handle your tom-foolery." He briefly looked up only to shoot Howard a high-browed glare of irreverance. He was not amused.

"Sheldon, really, what's wrong?" Leonard asked with concern.

"I have been asked to give a series of lectures on my work in String Theory. I have less than forty-two hours to find suitable accomodations as well as create a week of lesson plans." He continued to tap.

"I'd think you would be happy. You love to sermonize your theories." Sheldon was visibly taken aback by the religious connotation. He was a man of science, not a preacher.

"Happy? Good God, Leonard, no!" When his interjection was met with questionable silence, he continued. "I am to lecture at the College of William and Mary!" more silence. "In Virginia,"

"I still don't see your problem," inquired Howard.

"Problemssss," Sheldon hissed. "First," he counted off on long fingers, "it is on the East Coast, thousands of miles away. Second, I am insulted to have not been invited to at least Virginia Tech or UVA, which are much more relevant to my field of expertise. William and Mary is known for," he paused before spitting, "the humanities."

"Sheldon, give it a rest. If you're so upset about it, don't go. Simple." Raj offered.

"Oh, Raj, your foerign background excuses your lack of perception. William and Mary is one of the most reputable and prestigious schools in the nation; and is certainly one of the oldest, second only to Harvard. Founded in 1693, it educated such great men as Thomas Jefferson, John Tyler, James Monroe, John Marshall, and Jon Stewart. " He smiled bombastically, beaming with his anecdote. Then, his indignant expression returned "You see, I cannot simply 'not go'."

"Well, buddy, I don't know what to say to you."

"I would expect you to return with some kind of empathy." He stared expectantly at his bespectacled friend. A moment passed.

"Actually, I do know what to say." He smiled, in his mind picturing Sheldon's discomfort while he would have the whole apartment to himself, "Have a nice flight!"

…

"Hey, Leonard, did Sheldon change the wi-fi password again?" Penny stepped over the threshold of 4A. "Oh!" She stumbled over a suitcase on the floor.

"Yeah, watch out. Sheldon wants his bags to be ready to go." Leonard explained.

"Oh, going on a trip, Sweetie?" Penny asked Sheldon, as she sat next to Leonard. He handed her a takeout box.

Sheldon sighed, stopping his chicken-laden chopsticks on their flight to his mouth.

"I would hardly call it a trip." He sulked. "While away I will experience none of the characteristics of a pleasurable excursion. This trip will be more of a trek."

Penny looked to Leonard.

"He's lecturing in Virginia, at a humanities based school."

"Where no Sheldon has gone before," Quipped Howard with a shrug of his shoulders, warranting a scowl from Sheldon.

"I don't understand," said Penny.

"I am quite interested in the complex inner workings of ruining one's afternoon by giving bakery items to small, disease-infested rodents who wear overalls."

Raj whispered something to Howard to which he responded, "No, No, it's a kid's book."

"Oh!" exclaimed Penny excitedly, "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie! I love that book!" Everyone stared at her. With sudden realization, she muttered, "Bazinga?" Sheldon nodded.

"Oh, it'll be ok, Sheldon, stop fussing," commanded Leonard. "Besides, didn't Eli end up majoring in literature there?"

"Whoah, hold on." Penny threw her hands up and Howard choked on his food. "Eli?" she asked. Sheldon said nothing; instead, he filled his mouth with large amounts of Thai. There, now it was not sociably acceptable for him speak.

"But, that's a girl's name." choked Wolowitz.

"Yes," Sheldon cleared his throat, not wishing to divulge any information on his best-kept secret. "She never allowed me to call her by her full name, Aurelia, which comes from the Latin, 'aureous', meaning 'golden'." He stopped then, though more was itching on his tongue. When he noticed the intense scrutinies of his friends, however, he abandonded his monologue on Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius and stood. "You'll have to excuse me, but, it is getting late and I have an early flight to catch. So I believe the proper idiom is 'don't let the bedbugs bite'," he mustered up a smile before scurrying off to his bedroom. Once again, all eyes turned to Leonard for enlightenment.

"Sheldon had a friend from way back. He won't tell me much about her."

"How can this happen? She slipped right under our radar."

Raj bucked with frenetic energy, bringing cupped hands to Howard's face.

"Yes, isn't it romantic?" he commented sarcastically. "Now, stop spitting in my ear!"

…

In the solitude of his own bedroom, Sheldon took to thinking. He pondered his upcoming expedition of sorts. Yes, he was put off by his lack of recognition within the collegiate community. How would he ever win his Nobel at this rate? But, that was not the complication that proved most worrisome.

How would he manage to walk the foreign campus, knowing every corner he turned, every step he took could have him encounter her once again. Pulling out a t-shirt and old Star Wars pajama bottoms, he sighed. He had packed his robe and would miss its familiar warmth.

Sheldon tried to busy himself with mindless tinkering. He straightened his bookshelf, assured his closet was properly organized, and smoothed his comforter. He even dusted one of his trains only to find his efforts useless. Alas, he would never allow it to collect dust in the first place.

Finally, he decided to read through a Bat Man comic. This turned out to be a futile attempt to distract him. He read this particular issue so often that his mind knew its plot and easily drifted to other thoughts. Instead, he picked up A History of Pi, a book Penny had given him for his birthday. He already knew pi's history, but found the volume to be whimsical and much more engaging than a comic. But before long, that too, grew prosaic. All he could see were brilliant flashes of charming, glittering emerald eyes.

For a moment, he allowed his occipital cortex to entertain the notion. He pictured soft, copper red curls around a heart-shaped face, a face that had been freckled by the summer sun. A moment became a minute and a minute became twenty. When he next checked the clock, it read nine.

Dear Lord, he rolled his eyes at himself. This was rediculous. He was a theoretical physicist on his way to winning a Nobel Prize. What was he doing compromising his thoughts with such phantasmagorias?

Silently, he crept out of his room. Peeking around the corner, he saw no sign of occupation in Leonard's room. The light was off and it was far too early for him to tuck in. In a surge of bravery, Sheldon walked into the living room. No one was there. He checked the kitchen. Empty.

He walked over and sat in his spot. His phone he noticed had been left on the side table. Leonard had sent him a text. His roomate was spending the night at Penny's, but would be back to see him off. Sheldon breathed a sigh of releif.

To entertain himself, Cooper began working simple problems in his head. If an object with a weight of six Newtons was launched from a twenty meter cliff, with the intention of hitting a target forty meters away that was one meter in diameter, at an initial velocity vector of…

When ten rolled around, Sheldon got up to actually retire for the night. This time he took his phone with him.

…

! Eli was awoken by the original Bat Man theme song. A week ago, she had thought the ringtone was quirky, however, she no longer found it amusing. Grumbling, she sat up. Before answering, she checked the clock: one-thirty two

"Hello?" she mumbled.

"This is Sheldon Cooper calling with an emergency. I'm so glad you were awake to take my call!" She didn't bother clarifying that she had, in fact, been fast asleep.

"Sheldon, what a special surprise," she tried to clear the sleep out of her eyes and make sense of what was happening.

"Indeed!" He seemed rather cheerful.

"Sheldon," she picked up a careful tone, "I know you are aware of the time difference." She treaded cautiously, knowing he could ignite on a rant about how trains led to the esablishment of standardized time zones. She had heard it several times already and it was far too early for that. Though, the thought of his peculiar idiosyncrasies brought a smile to her lips.

"I appologize for waking you then, but I did not think I would reach you via Skype at this hour. I have a favor to ask of you."

"No, Sheldon, I'm not taking down the Spock and Uhura fanfiction, nor will I ever."

"Oh, um, no. I have come to terms with your fondness of the contemporary coupling of Spock and Lieutenant Uhura. Though, I cannot understand why. After all, in the Original Series-"

"Sheldon!"

"Oh, yes, sorry." He went on to explain his predicament.