Disclaimer: We don't own Gundam Wing, and Pip's dog can kick your dog's ass.
Pairings: Trowa+Midii, Duo+Hilde, Heero+Flour baby
Warnings: Language, sexual references, confusion, strange pairings, pantsless Wuffers, and random bits of humor.
****
"So the math homework is..."
"Problems 1-40, on page 197."
"K, thanks Mid,"
"HELLOW ME PETIT!!!!!"
"...Midii?!"
"Er...that would be my little brother."
"Oh? Which one?"
"Marcus."
"He is SOOOO cute!"
"I know!"
"So what are you doing tomorrow? Wanna get together after school?"
"Is the gang coming?"
"Er...why not?"
"Awesome."
"See you then?"
"Sure!"
"K, bye!"
"Bye, Hilde."
*click click*
****
next day, lunch gang is assembled, all with food and eating at table
"So..." Duo said through a mouthful of food "Where are we going after school?"
"I dunno." Hilde shrugged "Go to the mall or something?"
"Movies?"
"Like what?"
"America's Sweethearts?"
"Quatre? Sorry but...ah...no." Midii said
Just then, a tall brunette walked past their table. Heero looked after her.
"...She's hot."
Trowa jumped,and nearly fell off his seat.
"Dude! That's my SISTER!!!"
Heero, still staring after her, did not respond. Duo glanced across the table at Heero, and then spoke. "I think he's imagining her naked..."
Trowa buried his head in his hands and moaned "Oh God...my _sister_..."
Midii patted his back comfortingly. "It's ok, happens to the best of us..."
"Are you saying that you never once thought of me naked?" Relena asked Heero
"NO! The other girls maybe, but not you."
Four people jumped up and loudly shouted "Hey!!"
"I said MAYBE, not that I did..."
Hilde retorted with "Oh, so now you say we're not good enough to be imagined
naked?"
Relena looked appalled "So now I'm not good enough either?"
Trowa sat back down. "But...that was my SISTER..."
Heero looked where she last disappeared. "Yeah, she was HOTT."
Duo muttered "He's imagining having sex with her now..."
Hilde looked at him "How do you know so much about this?!"
Trowa again rose and yelled "He's doing WHAT? I'm gonna knock him out..."
Midii grabbed his arm. "Sit down, deep breaths, calm thoughts..."
Heero, still staring off into the distance, seemed oblivious.
"Heero....you might want to come back here...before Trowa kills you..." Quatre
whispered, poking Heero in the elbow and gesturing madly at Trowa.
"Did you know that Wuffers wears tighty-whities?" Duo asked, trying to break the
tension.
Trowa turned. "What?"
Wufei sputtered, choking on his sandwich "I...I do not!"
Duo nodded. "He does."
Midii grinned. "And how do you know this?"
"I pantsed him."
Quatre turned around, now very interested. "When?"
"I do _not_ wear tighty-whities!!!"
Duo ignored him. "In homeroom today. Got me sent to the office."
"So THAT was why you were late to math..."
"Yeah, it was right in front of the teacher's desk too."
"Ooh." Hilde grinned. "I wanna see."
Wufei grabbed his pants. "NO!"
Midii snickered. "I will never understand male fashion. If you're wearing loose
pants, you're gonna get pantsed."
Duo cackled madly "HAHA! But I wear TIGHT pants!" with a pause he added "It shows
off my cute ass."
There was a lot of blinking. There was general consent from all of the girls at
this point. "Yeah, I'll give you that." Hilde said. "But I still want to see
Wuffers pantsed."
Wufei grabbed at his pants again, scooting back and screaming "No!", until he fell
off his stool. Duo stood up, cracking his knuckles. "All right. One order of
pantsless Wuffers, coming right up." There was a brief dust cloud, and when it
cleared, Wufei was standing there, in a pair of...nothing. Duo looked at his
hands. "Whoops, I grabbed your underwear too, sorry buddy."
Hilde grimaced and covered her eyes "Oh...when I said without pants, I didn't mean
without ANYTHING..."
Relena started babbling incoherently. Midii raised her eyebrows in shock, then
grabbed Trowa and jumped behind him "Scary Wuffers, scary wuffers..."
There was a very, very quiet silence, as the entire cafeteria turned to look.
Wufei growled "Duo...give me back my pants."
Duo handed over the pants, and while Wufei was making a mad dash for the bathroom,
he began break dancing on the table.
"Duo...what are you doing?"
"Trying to distract the crowd..." he muttered back to Trowa.
"Oh...I don't think it's working..."
"Well, can't say I didn't try." He said, rolled off the table, and began finishing
his lunch.
***
after school, at Trowa's house
"Ok, my parents aren't here so...what do you want to do?"
Duo popped his head out of the fridge "You have parents?"
"Yes I have parents!"
"I didn't know that..."
Relena sat down on the couch. "I dunno, we could watch TV or something...what do
you want to do Heero?"
Heero looked up at Trowa "Is your sister home?"
"Yes, why do you want to--"
"Hi Trowa!" Catherine paused "Hi Midii, Quatre...other people. Don't go in my
room, it hasn't been cleaned in a really long time." she said with a laugh,
grabbing a soda before going upstairs.
Trowa turned around "So what do you guys want to...Heero? What are you..."
Heero was staring at the staircase. Duo looked him over and then remarked "He's
got a hard-on."
The couch quickly was vacated, as everyone tried to get as far from Heero as
possible.
Trowa spun around "Oh God."
"Right," Midii said "Someone said something about TV? Let's turn on the TV."
Trowa grabbed for the remote and quickly turned on the TV.
"Ok, lets watch this!" Duo cried
"Pokemon sucks."
"Pokemon is AWESOME!"
"Nu-uh."
"Yea-huh."
"NU-UNH!"
"YEAH-HUH!"
Quatre grimaced "Guys, can we not fight about it huh? Lets find something we can
all agree on!"
Trowa began flipping channels again.
"Stop!" Wufei yelled.
"Law & Order? I hate that!"
"It's the best show in the world."
Relena glared at him "You only like it because it says "to achieve justice" in
the beginning!"
He glared back "I do not!"
"So then tell me the names of the characters."
"Oh, well there's that tall bald guy...and then that lady, and that guy that looks
like our math teacher..."
Quatre interrupted again "Guys..."
Trowa changed the channel again. "Ok, I think we can all agree on this, right?"
"Trowa... that's an infomercial..."
Duo looked back at Heero "You know, if you don't get rid of that, you're going to
damage yourself..."
"What did you say?" Trowa turned
Duo pointed at Heero's groin "It's still up there,"
Trowa covered his eyes "Stop it."
"I would love to, but it's not mine."
Midii turned away from the infomercial "How long has it been anyways?"
Hilde looked at the clock "I'd say around...three+ minutes..."
Trowa stood up. "...I'll be in the other room."
Relena leaned over in front of Heero "Heero? Hee-ro...."
Duo put his hand on her shoulder "He's past the point of return, come back in
fifteen minutes" He then lay down on the floor, and continued watching the TV try
to sell them a pasta maker. Hilde called to the kitchen "Hey Trowa? It's Monday
right? When's the Ethics thing due?"
Trowa called out "Tomorrow."
"K, thanks, can you bring me a drink?"
A can of soda flew out of the kitchen window, very nearly hitting Heero on the
head. Hilde caught it and stood up. "So, when're we gonna go buy the flour?"
"Flour?"
"For Ethics, you know. Flour babies."
"How bout now?"
"Now? Why not."
"Trowa, you coming?"
"Fine, want me to drive? My dad's car is home."
"Ok."
After the eight of them had piled into the Expedition, Trowa reluctantly letting
Heero in, but making him sit in the very back, they pulled out of the driveway on
their way the grocery store
***
"SEX!" Duo shouted, punching Quatre in the arm. Midii glanced over her shoulder
at him "What are you doing?"
"Every time you see a Volkswagen Beetle, you yell out Sex, and the last person to
say it has to take off one article of clothing, shoes and socks come in pairs."
Duo explained.
There was a flurry of activity, as everyone in the car began shouting. All eyes
(except Trowa's) drifted to the back, where Wufei, was fast asleep, his headphones
tightly in place. Duo nodded to Heero, who then removed his shoes, as a yellow
bug drove past. While everyone was still occupied with this, Trowa muttered under
his breath "Midii, look."
He gestured to the road, where three Volkswagen dealerships were situated. Midii
grinned "Thank you."
Fifteen minutes later, they pulled into the grocery store parking lot. There was
a bit of a scramble for clothing, and then as Duo pulled his pants back on, he
asked "Should we wake up Wufei?"
"Eh, let him sleep."
"Right then. Trowa, are these windows tinted?"
"The back ones." Trowa said, his voice muffled through his sweater.
"Let's move Wufei up to the front then."
"Yea, why not." Trowa said, getting out of the car.
When Wufei woke up, ten minutes later, the first words to come to his mind were
"Oh SHIT! MAXWELL!!"
****
The next morning, Hilde was getting her books out of her locker, when suddenly she
was rammed from behind.
"Hey Hilde, babe, can you hide me from Wu-man?"
"What happened?"
"Well, he got it in his head that it was my fault he was naked in the car
yesterday."
"It kinda was."
"But not TOTALLY my fault! You gotta hide me, he wants my blood!"
"What do you want me to do?"
"Hide me in the girl's bathroom or something! He'll never go in there!"
"Is this just another of your plans to get in the girl's bathroom?"
"No, I swear! Just let me in!"
She sighed, "Ok fine, come this way."
Luckily, the bathroom was mostly empty, no one was standing around, and Duo was
able to get in unnoticed. Hilde locked the door so no one else could get in.
"Hilde, is that you?"
"Oh shit, hide!" she muttered, and shoved Duo into a stall and closed the door.
"Yes?"
"It's Mid. Do you have a tampon or something?"
"Wait, let me check." she began rummaging in her bag.
Duo could see from his angle in the stall, Hilde drop her bag, and begin digging
in it for....something.
"Oh crappers." he said
"Hilde, was that you?"
"Ah...I can't find one...oh wait! Here you go!" She the tossed it over the edge of
the stall, but when Midii reached up to catch it, her hand bumped it into the
other stall. Where it hit Duo on the head. There was a long pause, and then Duo
screamed.
"YAAAAAGH!"
"...Hilde?"
There was a knock on the door "Hilde? Is Maxwell in there?"
"Wufei, this is the GIRLS bathroom. Why would Duo be in here?"
The tampon then sailed back into Midii's stall, where she caught it.
"Thanks, Duo."
Duo groaned. "No problem."
Hilde opened the door so she could talk to Wufei better.
"I told you, he's not in here."
He looked at her suspiciously. "Then why did I see you bring him in there?"
Midii then walked out of the stall. "Sorry, I needed to change my tampon."
Wufei blinked. "What?"
Midii looked at him "You know, a tampon?"
He looked back at her "What's that? This a women thing or...er..."
he trailed off. "Anyway, is Maxwell in there?"
Duo exited the stall. "Ok, you wanna know the truth, buddy?"
Wufei crossed his arms. "Do tell."
"You saw Hilde bring me in here because," he paused "...all the closets were
locked, and we wanted to have sex."
Wufei's eyes enlarged by 50%. "I'm leaving now." he turned on his heel and walked
away, very quickly.
Hilde turned around "That was BRILLIANT!"
***
ethics class
"You should all have bought and wrapped your bag of flour by now, and I want you
to remember that these represent BABIES. Which means you are not allowed to kick,
roughhouse, or in any way, shape, or form, destroy or dismantle them." there was a
loud groan of disappointment from the class. "And now, I want you to find a
partner, and share some vital statistics of your child."
***
Duo laughed. "Ok, Hilde, this is my baby." He held up a messily wrapped blob, to
which a wiggly smilie-face had been drawn. "It's name is Pedro. It has no brain,
and if it gets wet, it will melt."
"That's not very nice!" Hilde said, laughing.
"Well, it's TRUE."
***
"This is my flour-baby." Heero plopped a sack of flour on the table. Wufei looked
at it and silently reached out an arm and tapped Trowa on the shoulder. Trowa
looked over at the flour, made an indecernable growling noise, and flipped off
Heero.
***
"What was that about?" Midii asked.
"He taped. My sister's picture. To his flour baby."
***
Quatre looked at Relena's flour-baby. "Will it really have "HEE-KOI" tattooed to
it's rear by age 2 months?" Relena crossed her arms "Well it COULD!"
****
lunch
Duo sat down with his food. "Hey, WU-MAN! Keeping your pants on today, I see."
Wufei glared. "At least I wasn't trying to shag in the girl's bathroom."
Quatre turned around, grabbed Wufei's baby, and whapped him with one arm. "NOT IN
FRONT OF THE CHILDREN!"
Trowa sweat dropped slightly and said "What was this about the girl's bathroom?"
Midii giggled, and began to retell the story, beginning from when the tampon flew
over the stall. Relena and Hilde giggled uncontrollably at this point, and all
the guys blinked at her, except for Wufei, who said "What's a tampon?"
Duo said. "You don't want to know, buddy."
Hilde began digging in her bag again "Here," she said tossing one onto the table.
Duo stared at her "How many of those do you have in there??"
He then turned to Heero "And why are you spoon feeding your flour-baby tapioca
pudding?!"
Trowa turned "You're doing WHAT?"
"I thought she might be hungry"
"Dude, she's a bag of flour."
Heero grabbed Duo's braid and gave it a yank. "Don't. Say. That."
"My God, why do I hang out with you guys?" Trowa said
"Because I hang out here." Midii responded
"Good point."
Duo touched the top of his head "Damn, I think I'm bleeding..."
Heero glared. "Then you shouldn't have insulted _my_ Cathy."
Trowa picked Heero up by his shirt, and slammed him against the nearest dumpster.
"Do Not Say That About My Sister." Heero smirked. "What you gonna do about it?"
"I'm gonna punch you out" Trowa raised his fist
Quatre raced over and shoved Trowa's flour-baby in front of his face. "Think about
the CHILDREN!!!"
Trowa growled and turned around "What are you doing?!"
Three girls and Quatre grinned and said "We're setting up a daycare!"
"No, I was talking about them." He pointed towards Duo and Wufei. Wufei had Duo
pinned to the table and was straddling him.
"Pistachio nuts!" Duo yelled, trying to wiggle his way off the table. he stopped
to look at Trowa "What?! Quatre won't let me swear in front of the daycare!"
***
after lunch, study hall
"K, Relena, share your bio."
"My baby's name is Hee-Koi." She stopped and giggled madly for a moment. "He has
got the cutest ass you will ever see, and his father is Hee-Koi senior!" she
started laughing again. and said "Actually, I think the father's ass is cuter, but
I'm not about to screw my baby, so it all works out."
Midii snickered "My baby's name is Tro-Koi. He will grow up to be 5'9", with
brown hair and the most darling green eyes. He will meet a girl in school, whose
name by some coincidence, happens to be Midii. They will get married by age 18,
and will have multiple children, while living a successful and fulfilling life."
"Ooooookkkk....my turn" Hilde said picking up her flour-baby, "My baby's name...is
Duo-sama." they all looked at her. "Actually, it was his idea....anyway, he will
become a stoner from florida and...wait a minute! Who changed my cards?"
***
after school
"Bye Mid!"
"Bye Hilde!"
Midii waved as Hilde jumped into Duo's pickup and the two drove off.
"Hey, Tro, can you give me a lift?"
"Sure." He tossed her an extra helmet
a few minutes later, as they were riding down the street, Midii asked him
The Dreaded Question.
"Where do you think our relationship is going?"
"Ah....where would you like it to go?"
"Uh....forward?"
"Well then, that's where it's going."
"Tro, that's not a good answer! I want you to tell me your...feelings!"
"Oh...shit."
She sniffed. "T-that's a worse answer."
He pulled over. "Ok." he climbed off the bike, and took off his helmet. "I
don't know where YOU want this to go, we've been dating for six months, we haven't
been seeing other people," he glanced at her "I'm HOPING..." she took off her
helmet and shook her head. "OK. Just...checking..." he paused "I'm not sure what
else there is for us to do, we're a little young to get married..."
"Uh-huh..."
"So...don't call me a male pervert or something...but the only other thing I can
think of is...do you want to have sex?"
She glomped him "I love you!"
"...All right then..."
He made a small eeping noise, as she pulled him down onto the lawn.
"No! Wait!"
She stopped and looked at him with BIIIIG eyes. "You...you don't want..."
"It's not that I don't WANT to," he said very quickly "It just that uh...this is
a...residential neighborhood, and ah.."
An old lady poked her head out of a window just then and shouted "Get off my lawn,
you filthy teenaged whores!!"
He stood up. "And a LOVELY residential neighborhood it is, too."
he helped her to her feet. "Shall we go back to my place then?"
***
Midii called Hilde from her cell "Guess what?"
"Ah... you...did your homework for once?"
"Nope!"
"You...watched your little brothers?"
"Nu-uh."
"Geez, what else do you do...ah! You found a new brand of dark chocolate!"
"No, but I should."
"You should. So...what is it?"
"Guess! Guess guess guess!!!"
"Er....you...I know! You kissed Trowa!"
"Yes, but no."
"Was I close?"
"Yeah."
"Is it a good thing?"
"Oh, yes."
"You..." there was a long pause. Then there was a sharp gasp and "You DIDN'T?"
"I DID!"
There was another click, as another phone line picked up "You did what?"
pause.
"Duo?"
"Speaking."
"Why are you at Hilde's house...never mind."
"Ok, then. So, what'd you do?"
"I know what she did!" Hilde yelled. "She went skydiving!"
"...No I didn't."
"Oh. Well, you should have."
"Yeah, what's better than skydiving?"
"Er...do you want to hear or not?"
"Well, if it wasn't skydiving, then..." you could almost see Hilde's eyes get
huge. "Whoa. Go Mid!"
"Wait" Duo said "What am I missing out on? What's going on here?"
Midii paused. "Should I tell him?"
"You should. If not, then I will."
"Somebody tell me!!"
"But he'll have to be sworn to secrecy."
"I swear!"
"Make him swear on something, Midii."
"Like...?"
"Uh...make him swear on...ah...this old CD!"
"No!"
"Why not? I promise I won't tell!"
Hilde muttered "You're crossing your fingers, I can see you."
"How 'bout your braid?"
There was a loud clattering noise from Duo's end. "Sorry, Midii, he dropped the
phone so he could grab his hair."
"Sounds like we should have him swear on the braid."
Duo picked up the phone again. "So, and if I keep my promise, then what?"
"Then we'll let you keep your hair."
"You...are the devil's spawn."
"I won't tell you if you call me that."
"...Will Trowa tell me if you won't?"
"Probably not."
"Fine then. I swear on my brain."
"Your BRAID."
"I don't think I'll be too happy if you remove my brain."
"You have a brain? I didn't know." Hilde said
"Of course I do! What did you think I was, a mindless sex toy?"
"Er..."
"Overshare."
"Sorry Mid. Anyway, I swear on my braid."
"'hokay. You better not lie."
"Do I lie?"
"No, good point."
"So tell me."
"I just got laid."
"Really?" Duo paused "I thought you did that already."
"Well, I'M happy for you."
"Must go, I have to make dinner, and my ass hurts." as she hung up the phone, she
could clearly hear Duo's yell "OVERSHARE!!".
Grinning, she took out a box of Macaroni and Cheese.
Popping it into the microwave, she heard he dad walk in.
"What the hell are you doing, Mid?"
"I was just making dinner..."
"For who? We ate four and a half hours ago."
"Really?" she glanced at the clock "Goddamnit!" it was 11:30.
"Where were you?"
"I was...with my friends."
"Until 11:30?"
"We...went to see a movie?"
"I'm gonna call your friends."
"Wait..."
*soon*
"Hello, Hilde? This is Midii's father. What were you and she doing until
11:30?....I see, thank you."
*click*
"She says you were working in the library."
"Oh...you know Hilde....always joking..."
"Uh-huh. You're grounded."
"But daddy..."
"For two weeks. Go to your room."
"But...there's food in the microwave!"
"I'll send it to you."
"But..."
"No phone, no TV, NO boyfriend--ever--"
"That's not fair! And who said I was with my boyfriend?"
"I was a teenaged boy once...and I noticed you're walking rather gingerly..."
"DADDY!"
"Goodnight, Midii."
"But..."
"Good night."
***
next day
"What's wrong Mid, why the long face?" Relena asked
"I'm grounded."
"Oooh, that sucks. How come?"
"Came home late."
"Ah, how long are you grounded?"
"Two weeks. And I never get to see my boyfriend"
"Just for coming home late?"
"I was at Trowa's house."
"Oh...I see. But that's not fair, is it? Making false assumptions? It's not like
you DID anything..."
"Yes, that would be the problem."
"You did something?"
Midii sighed "Guess what."
Relena covered her mouth. "Really? We HAVE to talk." she said, yanking her into
the girls bathroom.
***
Wufei looked over Heero's shoulder. "Oh no, not them too!!!"
Heero looked up from rocking Cathy. "I love you."
"WHAT?!"
"Not YOU, you ugly baboon! CATHY."
"...Oh. Well, anyway, Midii and Relena are going to go at it in the girl's
bathroom now."
Heero looked up "WHAT?"
"Don't you know? That's where all the girls go when they want to..." he made hand
gestures.
"...use the facilities?"
"Well...I suppose that too....but...they just tell us that...really, its just a
huge conspiracy they have. They don't want us to know the kinky things they do to
each other in there..."
"Are you feeling all right?"
As Wufei continued muttering about dirty bathroom orgies, Heero calmly put Cathy
in his sweater and walked away.
***
"Hey Quatre, can I tell you something?" Trowa whispered to him in homeroom that
morning. Quatre turned around "Sure, what's up?"
Trowa motioned for him to come closer. "I slept with Midii last night..."
Quatre stood up "You did WHAT?!" looking around the room, he slowly sat down.
"What?"
"Just what I told you."
"Wait, so you slept slept, or..."
"We had sex, ok?"
"Did you tell anyone else?"
"Uh...no."
"So I'm the only one who knows? I feel so loved."
"I'm sure she told Hilde, as they are best friends..."
"So just me and Hilde?"
"Well, our whole gang will know by lunch, seeing as Hilde probably told Duo, and
Relena's gonna find out somehow..."
"Which means that Heero's gonna know...oh, its ok, I'm still better than Wufei!"
"So...what am I supposed to do now?"
Quatre blinked. "What do you mean?"
"I just had sex with one of my best friends!"
"Well, you have been dating her for over six months, so I'm sure she's ok with
it..."
"But this makes it weird!"
"No it doesn't."
"Yes it does!"
"Calm down, I'm sure you'll figure it out..."
"Well, I hadn't had this part of the plan figured out yet!"
"Well, what do you want to do, break up with her?"
"No, but..."
"Well, I don't see what the problem is..."
"What if she thinks it's weird?"
"Then..."
"What if she thought I was really bad?"
"You weren't prepared for this, were you?"
"No, I wasn't!"
"Then why did you?"
"...She asked me to."
"Well...did you want to?"
"Yes...no...I don't know!"
"Well, then why don't you talk to her about it?"
"No way. That is what started this whole thing in the first place."
"Well...what do you want to do then?"
"I...don't know."
***
chapel...they ain't in public school
Duo sat down next to Midii. "So...whatcha thinking 'bout?"
"I'm grounded."
"Ah, that sucks."
"And Trowa hasn't said anything to me all day."
"Oh. Do you know why?"
"I've got a guess..."
"...Oh. Well, maybe he just freaked out or something"
"Does he seem like the type to freak out?"
"Ok, no."
"That's what I thought."
"So what, now you think he doesn't like you?"
"H-he doesn't...like me anymore?" her voice rose, and she got teary-eyed.
"Hey, I never said that!"
"T-this is all m-my fault..."
"Hey," he put an arm around her "It's ok, it's not your fault..."
Midii began to cry, and leaned into him. "Oh boy." he said, patting her on the
back.
***
"Hey," Wufei said, poking Hilde in the side "What's up with Midii?"
"Ah...she's grounded."
"She's never spazed out about that before..."
"It's a female thing. You know, our hormones get outa wack at certain times..."
"Oh..."
"Yeah...come on lets sit over here, leave her alone for a bit k?"
"All right."
***
Trowa was walked into the chapel, still discussing his problems with Quatre, when
he saw Midii. Hugging Duo.
"What the--" he pulled Quatre around "What is he doing?"
Quatre looked "It looks like he's comforting her..."
"HE'S HUGGING HER DAMNIT!"
"Shh!" Quatre clapped his hand over the other boy's mouth "Not in the house of
God!"
Trowa pried his hand off "I didn't know you were a Christian."
"Don't tell my father." Quatre whispered
"Riiiiiggght. But look! He's HUGGING her. That's _my_ job!!"
"Well, then, why aren't you over there?"
"Look at her. She's so upset, she's probably pissed off at me!"
Quatre said "Oh. Well, do you want to go talk to her then?"
Trowa crossed his arms "I told you before, talking is what got it all started!"
***
in language--spanish
"Hey...Duo, did you do your spanish homework?"
"Er...no, why?"
"I need to copy some ones..."
"Oh, sorry."
"That's ok. And what was going on with Midii in chapel?"
"Oh, she was freaking out about the Trowa thing."
"Really?"
"Yeah, she's grounded, no dating--ever-, and Trowa doesn't like her."
"How do you know?"
"He never talked to her once this morning, and he was in three of her classes
today so far."
"Oh, he is SO dead at lunch!"
"Yeah, but the weird thing is, I don't see when he had the TIME to break up with
her..."
Hilde paused. "You'd think he'd at least TELL her that it was over... that
jackass."
"Yeah, but it's so weird, its TROWA."
"I'll give you that."
***
lunch, all but Trowa and Midii present
Hilde sat down "Where is Trowa." she spat angrily.
Quatre looked up "Why?"
"Because he has Midii so freaked out, she's hiding in the bathroom!"
"The bathroom? Again? That's twice today!" Wufei shrieked.
He was ignored. "Where. Is. Trowa." Hilde asked again. Quatre looked down at
his food "I'm not supposed to tell you guys, sorry."
"What, he's off with his new girlfriend or something?"
"New girlfriend?"
"We know about his secret, come on."
"L-let me talk to Midii."
"She's in the girl's bathroom Quatre."
He shrugged. "Half the people here think I'm a girl, anyway."
He walked off.
***
"Midii? Midii..."
"Q-quatre?"
He knocked on the stall "Can I come in?"
"It'll be a little cramped, but..."
She unlocked the door. "Hi." she sniffed. Quatre walked in, and locked the door
again. "We have to talk."
This caused Midii to burst into tears
"We have to talk about Trowa." he said
She crossed her arms and sat down "What do you want to know about him?"
He knelt beside her. "He still likes you."
"No, he doesn't."
"He does!"
"Then why is he being so...weird?"
Quatre stated to what should have been blindingly obvious to everyone by now
"Because he LIKES you!"
"No, he doesn't."
He sighed. "Look. He's being all weird because he's freaking out about... you
guys." he finished blandly.
"Then why won't he talk to ME about this?"
"I don't know, why don't YOU talk to him?"
"I can't, he won't even look at me."
"Then make him look at you."
"What, flash him or something?"
"No, talk to him! Go up to him and TALK to him!"
"Ok."
***
in the guys bathroom
Midii opened the door, and slowly peeked in, to make sure there were no random
guys...using the facilities.
"Trowa...?"
No response.
"Trowa?"
again, silence
"Trowa, I can see your shoes, come out."
A stall door opened, and Trowa walked out.
"Isn't hiding in the bathroom a girl thing?"
"You weren't supposed to find me."
"I asked Quatre where you were."
"Oh."
"We have to talk."
Trowa attempted to go back in the stall, but Midii grabbed his arm. "Stay."
"What do you want?"
"I want you to tell me why you've been avoiding me!"
"Fine, you want to know?"
"Yes!"
"I'm really scared, ok??"
Midii blinked "What?!"
"You heard me!" he said, his voice rising three octaves.
"Why?"
Just then, the door swung open, and Wufei walked in.
"Get out, we're busy!" Midii shrieked, shoving him out and slamming the door
behind him. "So, you were saying?"
"Er..."
"Yes?"
"What were we talking about?"
"Oh no you don't buddy."
"Ok...that whole...you know...it really scared me ok?"
"Huh?"
"I don't know what we're supposed to do now, who we're supposed to be, I...I don't
have a plan."
"Hilde and Duo didn't have a plan."
"That's them! I'm talking about _us_!"
"'Kay, go on..."
"I just....don't know what to do..."
"Nothing's changed..."
"I know...but...it feels like it has..."
"Well, somethings have changed, I'm not allowed to see you ever again, but we can
still do the same stuff...just not for the next two weeks."
"Okay, but...I have a question Mid."
"What"
"Am I bad?"
"Trowa!"
***
"So, they're back together again?"
"Apparently."
"She's not mad at him again?"
"Apparently."
"I wanted to hit him!"
***
Midii and Trowa were sitting on the stairs outside school, talking. A car honked.
"Midii! It's time to go! And I told you, I _don't_ want you seeing him."
Trowa stood up and walked over to the side of the car "Good, afternoon sir, my
name is Duo Maxwell, and I was the one who was with your daughter last night."
"Why you--"
He cut him off. "I am _Hilde's_ boyfriend, and although your daughter is very
beautiful, I have no physical attraction to her."
"Oh" Midii's father looked almost dismayed. "Nice to meet you young man."
Midii got into the car, mouthing "I love you" as she drove off.
***
Trowa picked up his phone "Hello, Quatre?"
"Yes?"
"Can I have my flour baby? I need it for tomorrow."
"Uh...Trowa...I don't have your flour baby"
"What?!"
"Like I said, you and Midii picked up your kids after lunch. Maybe they're in
your house?"
"Nope, checked."
"Okay, I have to go, talk to you later."
"Bye."
He then called Midii.
"Hey. Is Midii there?"
"Who is this?"
Tro-ah...Duo."
"Duo eh? That lad at the car?"
"Yessir."
"Hold on."
"Hello?"
"Hey Midii."
"I love you."
"All right. Do you have my flour baby?"
"Er no...I thought you had them."
"Them?"
"Well, I don't have mine."
Realization slowly clicked simultaneously
"Oh shit."
"I'll go get them."
***
Trowa knocked on the old lady's door.
"What is it you...hey! You're that brat that was on my lawn!"
"Look, I came to apologize for that,"
"Oh, fine."
"Did you happen to find two small bags of flour?"
***
lunch
"Mmm, these are really good."
"Yeah!" Duo agreed
"Did you manage to find the flour babies?"
Trowa grimaced and said "You're eating them..."
Midii choked "W-what?!"
Duo reached for another star-shaped cookie "These are really--ow!" Midii had
whacked him on the arm. "Don't eat my baby!"
***
next day, hr
"Trowa, we've got a baby!"
"WHAT?!" Trowa jumped up and grabbed her by the shoulders
"...a FLOUR baby..."
He sat down "Oh good."
Quatre muttered "If he spazed out because of THAT, I'd hate to see how freaked out
he'd be if he had actually knocked her up..."
Trowa spun around "Are you saying I can't?"
Quatre glanced at him "I'm only saying you'd have to be pretty damn good, seeing
as it was one time, you used protection, and she was on her period..."
Trowa stared at him "How did you know that?"
"I know a lot of things you don't."
Midii interrupted "I've got to get to homeroom, do you want your flour baby or
not?"
Trowa held out his hands "Yes, please."
***
at lunch
As everyone was placing their food on the table, Duo suddenly jumped onto a stool
and shouted at the top of his lungs "I _AM_ BUSTY!!!!" He then jumped off the
stool, turned to Wufei and said "You SO owe me five bucks."
Trowa put his face in his hands "Why do I hang out with you guys?" he asked,
motioning at Heero who was stroking his flour baby, Duo who was trying to grab
Wufei's wallet from inside his pants, and Hilde, who was holding a long discussion
with Relena on whether top or bottom was the preferred position. Midii snaked her
arms around his waist. "Because I hang out here."
"Good point." He brought her face down for a kiss and whispered "With them around,
I don't think things will ever change."
***
we actually _really_ like Heero and Wufei, it's just...well...they're so fun to bash! The next chapter will be coming out hopefully soon, and the topic will be gossip. That's gonna suck for the group...
~Pip and Arwen
****
"So the math homework is..."
"Problems 1-40, on page 197."
"K, thanks Mid,"
"HELLOW ME PETIT!!!!!"
"...Midii?!"
"Er...that would be my little brother."
"Oh? Which one?"
"Marcus."
"He is SOOOO cute!"
"I know!"
"So what are you doing tomorrow? Wanna get together after school?"
"Is the gang coming?"
"Er...why not?"
"Awesome."
"See you then?"
"Sure!"
"K, bye!"
"Bye, Hilde."
*click click*
****
next day, lunch gang is assembled, all with food and eating at table
"So..." Duo said through a mouthful of food "Where are we going after school?"
"I dunno." Hilde shrugged "Go to the mall or something?"
"Movies?"
"Like what?"
"America's Sweethearts?"
"Quatre? Sorry but...ah...no." Midii said
Just then, a tall brunette walked past their table. Heero looked after her.
"...She's hot."
Trowa jumped,and nearly fell off his seat.
"Dude! That's my SISTER!!!"
Heero, still staring after her, did not respond. Duo glanced across the table at Heero, and then spoke. "I think he's imagining her naked..."
Trowa buried his head in his hands and moaned "Oh God...my _sister_..."
Midii patted his back comfortingly. "It's ok, happens to the best of us..."
"Are you saying that you never once thought of me naked?" Relena asked Heero
"NO! The other girls maybe, but not you."
Four people jumped up and loudly shouted "Hey!!"
"I said MAYBE, not that I did..."
Hilde retorted with "Oh, so now you say we're not good enough to be imagined
naked?"
Relena looked appalled "So now I'm not good enough either?"
Trowa sat back down. "But...that was my SISTER..."
Heero looked where she last disappeared. "Yeah, she was HOTT."
Duo muttered "He's imagining having sex with her now..."
Hilde looked at him "How do you know so much about this?!"
Trowa again rose and yelled "He's doing WHAT? I'm gonna knock him out..."
Midii grabbed his arm. "Sit down, deep breaths, calm thoughts..."
Heero, still staring off into the distance, seemed oblivious.
"Heero....you might want to come back here...before Trowa kills you..." Quatre
whispered, poking Heero in the elbow and gesturing madly at Trowa.
"Did you know that Wuffers wears tighty-whities?" Duo asked, trying to break the
tension.
Trowa turned. "What?"
Wufei sputtered, choking on his sandwich "I...I do not!"
Duo nodded. "He does."
Midii grinned. "And how do you know this?"
"I pantsed him."
Quatre turned around, now very interested. "When?"
"I do _not_ wear tighty-whities!!!"
Duo ignored him. "In homeroom today. Got me sent to the office."
"So THAT was why you were late to math..."
"Yeah, it was right in front of the teacher's desk too."
"Ooh." Hilde grinned. "I wanna see."
Wufei grabbed his pants. "NO!"
Midii snickered. "I will never understand male fashion. If you're wearing loose
pants, you're gonna get pantsed."
Duo cackled madly "HAHA! But I wear TIGHT pants!" with a pause he added "It shows
off my cute ass."
There was a lot of blinking. There was general consent from all of the girls at
this point. "Yeah, I'll give you that." Hilde said. "But I still want to see
Wuffers pantsed."
Wufei grabbed at his pants again, scooting back and screaming "No!", until he fell
off his stool. Duo stood up, cracking his knuckles. "All right. One order of
pantsless Wuffers, coming right up." There was a brief dust cloud, and when it
cleared, Wufei was standing there, in a pair of...nothing. Duo looked at his
hands. "Whoops, I grabbed your underwear too, sorry buddy."
Hilde grimaced and covered her eyes "Oh...when I said without pants, I didn't mean
without ANYTHING..."
Relena started babbling incoherently. Midii raised her eyebrows in shock, then
grabbed Trowa and jumped behind him "Scary Wuffers, scary wuffers..."
There was a very, very quiet silence, as the entire cafeteria turned to look.
Wufei growled "Duo...give me back my pants."
Duo handed over the pants, and while Wufei was making a mad dash for the bathroom,
he began break dancing on the table.
"Duo...what are you doing?"
"Trying to distract the crowd..." he muttered back to Trowa.
"Oh...I don't think it's working..."
"Well, can't say I didn't try." He said, rolled off the table, and began finishing
his lunch.
***
after school, at Trowa's house
"Ok, my parents aren't here so...what do you want to do?"
Duo popped his head out of the fridge "You have parents?"
"Yes I have parents!"
"I didn't know that..."
Relena sat down on the couch. "I dunno, we could watch TV or something...what do
you want to do Heero?"
Heero looked up at Trowa "Is your sister home?"
"Yes, why do you want to--"
"Hi Trowa!" Catherine paused "Hi Midii, Quatre...other people. Don't go in my
room, it hasn't been cleaned in a really long time." she said with a laugh,
grabbing a soda before going upstairs.
Trowa turned around "So what do you guys want to...Heero? What are you..."
Heero was staring at the staircase. Duo looked him over and then remarked "He's
got a hard-on."
The couch quickly was vacated, as everyone tried to get as far from Heero as
possible.
Trowa spun around "Oh God."
"Right," Midii said "Someone said something about TV? Let's turn on the TV."
Trowa grabbed for the remote and quickly turned on the TV.
"Ok, lets watch this!" Duo cried
"Pokemon sucks."
"Pokemon is AWESOME!"
"Nu-uh."
"Yea-huh."
"NU-UNH!"
"YEAH-HUH!"
Quatre grimaced "Guys, can we not fight about it huh? Lets find something we can
all agree on!"
Trowa began flipping channels again.
"Stop!" Wufei yelled.
"Law & Order? I hate that!"
"It's the best show in the world."
Relena glared at him "You only like it because it says "to achieve justice" in
the beginning!"
He glared back "I do not!"
"So then tell me the names of the characters."
"Oh, well there's that tall bald guy...and then that lady, and that guy that looks
like our math teacher..."
Quatre interrupted again "Guys..."
Trowa changed the channel again. "Ok, I think we can all agree on this, right?"
"Trowa... that's an infomercial..."
Duo looked back at Heero "You know, if you don't get rid of that, you're going to
damage yourself..."
"What did you say?" Trowa turned
Duo pointed at Heero's groin "It's still up there,"
Trowa covered his eyes "Stop it."
"I would love to, but it's not mine."
Midii turned away from the infomercial "How long has it been anyways?"
Hilde looked at the clock "I'd say around...three+ minutes..."
Trowa stood up. "...I'll be in the other room."
Relena leaned over in front of Heero "Heero? Hee-ro...."
Duo put his hand on her shoulder "He's past the point of return, come back in
fifteen minutes" He then lay down on the floor, and continued watching the TV try
to sell them a pasta maker. Hilde called to the kitchen "Hey Trowa? It's Monday
right? When's the Ethics thing due?"
Trowa called out "Tomorrow."
"K, thanks, can you bring me a drink?"
A can of soda flew out of the kitchen window, very nearly hitting Heero on the
head. Hilde caught it and stood up. "So, when're we gonna go buy the flour?"
"Flour?"
"For Ethics, you know. Flour babies."
"How bout now?"
"Now? Why not."
"Trowa, you coming?"
"Fine, want me to drive? My dad's car is home."
"Ok."
After the eight of them had piled into the Expedition, Trowa reluctantly letting
Heero in, but making him sit in the very back, they pulled out of the driveway on
their way the grocery store
***
"SEX!" Duo shouted, punching Quatre in the arm. Midii glanced over her shoulder
at him "What are you doing?"
"Every time you see a Volkswagen Beetle, you yell out Sex, and the last person to
say it has to take off one article of clothing, shoes and socks come in pairs."
Duo explained.
There was a flurry of activity, as everyone in the car began shouting. All eyes
(except Trowa's) drifted to the back, where Wufei, was fast asleep, his headphones
tightly in place. Duo nodded to Heero, who then removed his shoes, as a yellow
bug drove past. While everyone was still occupied with this, Trowa muttered under
his breath "Midii, look."
He gestured to the road, where three Volkswagen dealerships were situated. Midii
grinned "Thank you."
Fifteen minutes later, they pulled into the grocery store parking lot. There was
a bit of a scramble for clothing, and then as Duo pulled his pants back on, he
asked "Should we wake up Wufei?"
"Eh, let him sleep."
"Right then. Trowa, are these windows tinted?"
"The back ones." Trowa said, his voice muffled through his sweater.
"Let's move Wufei up to the front then."
"Yea, why not." Trowa said, getting out of the car.
When Wufei woke up, ten minutes later, the first words to come to his mind were
"Oh SHIT! MAXWELL!!"
****
The next morning, Hilde was getting her books out of her locker, when suddenly she
was rammed from behind.
"Hey Hilde, babe, can you hide me from Wu-man?"
"What happened?"
"Well, he got it in his head that it was my fault he was naked in the car
yesterday."
"It kinda was."
"But not TOTALLY my fault! You gotta hide me, he wants my blood!"
"What do you want me to do?"
"Hide me in the girl's bathroom or something! He'll never go in there!"
"Is this just another of your plans to get in the girl's bathroom?"
"No, I swear! Just let me in!"
She sighed, "Ok fine, come this way."
Luckily, the bathroom was mostly empty, no one was standing around, and Duo was
able to get in unnoticed. Hilde locked the door so no one else could get in.
"Hilde, is that you?"
"Oh shit, hide!" she muttered, and shoved Duo into a stall and closed the door.
"Yes?"
"It's Mid. Do you have a tampon or something?"
"Wait, let me check." she began rummaging in her bag.
Duo could see from his angle in the stall, Hilde drop her bag, and begin digging
in it for....something.
"Oh crappers." he said
"Hilde, was that you?"
"Ah...I can't find one...oh wait! Here you go!" She the tossed it over the edge of
the stall, but when Midii reached up to catch it, her hand bumped it into the
other stall. Where it hit Duo on the head. There was a long pause, and then Duo
screamed.
"YAAAAAGH!"
"...Hilde?"
There was a knock on the door "Hilde? Is Maxwell in there?"
"Wufei, this is the GIRLS bathroom. Why would Duo be in here?"
The tampon then sailed back into Midii's stall, where she caught it.
"Thanks, Duo."
Duo groaned. "No problem."
Hilde opened the door so she could talk to Wufei better.
"I told you, he's not in here."
He looked at her suspiciously. "Then why did I see you bring him in there?"
Midii then walked out of the stall. "Sorry, I needed to change my tampon."
Wufei blinked. "What?"
Midii looked at him "You know, a tampon?"
He looked back at her "What's that? This a women thing or...er..."
he trailed off. "Anyway, is Maxwell in there?"
Duo exited the stall. "Ok, you wanna know the truth, buddy?"
Wufei crossed his arms. "Do tell."
"You saw Hilde bring me in here because," he paused "...all the closets were
locked, and we wanted to have sex."
Wufei's eyes enlarged by 50%. "I'm leaving now." he turned on his heel and walked
away, very quickly.
Hilde turned around "That was BRILLIANT!"
***
ethics class
"You should all have bought and wrapped your bag of flour by now, and I want you
to remember that these represent BABIES. Which means you are not allowed to kick,
roughhouse, or in any way, shape, or form, destroy or dismantle them." there was a
loud groan of disappointment from the class. "And now, I want you to find a
partner, and share some vital statistics of your child."
***
Duo laughed. "Ok, Hilde, this is my baby." He held up a messily wrapped blob, to
which a wiggly smilie-face had been drawn. "It's name is Pedro. It has no brain,
and if it gets wet, it will melt."
"That's not very nice!" Hilde said, laughing.
"Well, it's TRUE."
***
"This is my flour-baby." Heero plopped a sack of flour on the table. Wufei looked
at it and silently reached out an arm and tapped Trowa on the shoulder. Trowa
looked over at the flour, made an indecernable growling noise, and flipped off
Heero.
***
"What was that about?" Midii asked.
"He taped. My sister's picture. To his flour baby."
***
Quatre looked at Relena's flour-baby. "Will it really have "HEE-KOI" tattooed to
it's rear by age 2 months?" Relena crossed her arms "Well it COULD!"
****
lunch
Duo sat down with his food. "Hey, WU-MAN! Keeping your pants on today, I see."
Wufei glared. "At least I wasn't trying to shag in the girl's bathroom."
Quatre turned around, grabbed Wufei's baby, and whapped him with one arm. "NOT IN
FRONT OF THE CHILDREN!"
Trowa sweat dropped slightly and said "What was this about the girl's bathroom?"
Midii giggled, and began to retell the story, beginning from when the tampon flew
over the stall. Relena and Hilde giggled uncontrollably at this point, and all
the guys blinked at her, except for Wufei, who said "What's a tampon?"
Duo said. "You don't want to know, buddy."
Hilde began digging in her bag again "Here," she said tossing one onto the table.
Duo stared at her "How many of those do you have in there??"
He then turned to Heero "And why are you spoon feeding your flour-baby tapioca
pudding?!"
Trowa turned "You're doing WHAT?"
"I thought she might be hungry"
"Dude, she's a bag of flour."
Heero grabbed Duo's braid and gave it a yank. "Don't. Say. That."
"My God, why do I hang out with you guys?" Trowa said
"Because I hang out here." Midii responded
"Good point."
Duo touched the top of his head "Damn, I think I'm bleeding..."
Heero glared. "Then you shouldn't have insulted _my_ Cathy."
Trowa picked Heero up by his shirt, and slammed him against the nearest dumpster.
"Do Not Say That About My Sister." Heero smirked. "What you gonna do about it?"
"I'm gonna punch you out" Trowa raised his fist
Quatre raced over and shoved Trowa's flour-baby in front of his face. "Think about
the CHILDREN!!!"
Trowa growled and turned around "What are you doing?!"
Three girls and Quatre grinned and said "We're setting up a daycare!"
"No, I was talking about them." He pointed towards Duo and Wufei. Wufei had Duo
pinned to the table and was straddling him.
"Pistachio nuts!" Duo yelled, trying to wiggle his way off the table. he stopped
to look at Trowa "What?! Quatre won't let me swear in front of the daycare!"
***
after lunch, study hall
"K, Relena, share your bio."
"My baby's name is Hee-Koi." She stopped and giggled madly for a moment. "He has
got the cutest ass you will ever see, and his father is Hee-Koi senior!" she
started laughing again. and said "Actually, I think the father's ass is cuter, but
I'm not about to screw my baby, so it all works out."
Midii snickered "My baby's name is Tro-Koi. He will grow up to be 5'9", with
brown hair and the most darling green eyes. He will meet a girl in school, whose
name by some coincidence, happens to be Midii. They will get married by age 18,
and will have multiple children, while living a successful and fulfilling life."
"Ooooookkkk....my turn" Hilde said picking up her flour-baby, "My baby's name...is
Duo-sama." they all looked at her. "Actually, it was his idea....anyway, he will
become a stoner from florida and...wait a minute! Who changed my cards?"
***
after school
"Bye Mid!"
"Bye Hilde!"
Midii waved as Hilde jumped into Duo's pickup and the two drove off.
"Hey, Tro, can you give me a lift?"
"Sure." He tossed her an extra helmet
a few minutes later, as they were riding down the street, Midii asked him
The Dreaded Question.
"Where do you think our relationship is going?"
"Ah....where would you like it to go?"
"Uh....forward?"
"Well then, that's where it's going."
"Tro, that's not a good answer! I want you to tell me your...feelings!"
"Oh...shit."
She sniffed. "T-that's a worse answer."
He pulled over. "Ok." he climbed off the bike, and took off his helmet. "I
don't know where YOU want this to go, we've been dating for six months, we haven't
been seeing other people," he glanced at her "I'm HOPING..." she took off her
helmet and shook her head. "OK. Just...checking..." he paused "I'm not sure what
else there is for us to do, we're a little young to get married..."
"Uh-huh..."
"So...don't call me a male pervert or something...but the only other thing I can
think of is...do you want to have sex?"
She glomped him "I love you!"
"...All right then..."
He made a small eeping noise, as she pulled him down onto the lawn.
"No! Wait!"
She stopped and looked at him with BIIIIG eyes. "You...you don't want..."
"It's not that I don't WANT to," he said very quickly "It just that uh...this is
a...residential neighborhood, and ah.."
An old lady poked her head out of a window just then and shouted "Get off my lawn,
you filthy teenaged whores!!"
He stood up. "And a LOVELY residential neighborhood it is, too."
he helped her to her feet. "Shall we go back to my place then?"
***
Midii called Hilde from her cell "Guess what?"
"Ah... you...did your homework for once?"
"Nope!"
"You...watched your little brothers?"
"Nu-uh."
"Geez, what else do you do...ah! You found a new brand of dark chocolate!"
"No, but I should."
"You should. So...what is it?"
"Guess! Guess guess guess!!!"
"Er....you...I know! You kissed Trowa!"
"Yes, but no."
"Was I close?"
"Yeah."
"Is it a good thing?"
"Oh, yes."
"You..." there was a long pause. Then there was a sharp gasp and "You DIDN'T?"
"I DID!"
There was another click, as another phone line picked up "You did what?"
pause.
"Duo?"
"Speaking."
"Why are you at Hilde's house...never mind."
"Ok, then. So, what'd you do?"
"I know what she did!" Hilde yelled. "She went skydiving!"
"...No I didn't."
"Oh. Well, you should have."
"Yeah, what's better than skydiving?"
"Er...do you want to hear or not?"
"Well, if it wasn't skydiving, then..." you could almost see Hilde's eyes get
huge. "Whoa. Go Mid!"
"Wait" Duo said "What am I missing out on? What's going on here?"
Midii paused. "Should I tell him?"
"You should. If not, then I will."
"Somebody tell me!!"
"But he'll have to be sworn to secrecy."
"I swear!"
"Make him swear on something, Midii."
"Like...?"
"Uh...make him swear on...ah...this old CD!"
"No!"
"Why not? I promise I won't tell!"
Hilde muttered "You're crossing your fingers, I can see you."
"How 'bout your braid?"
There was a loud clattering noise from Duo's end. "Sorry, Midii, he dropped the
phone so he could grab his hair."
"Sounds like we should have him swear on the braid."
Duo picked up the phone again. "So, and if I keep my promise, then what?"
"Then we'll let you keep your hair."
"You...are the devil's spawn."
"I won't tell you if you call me that."
"...Will Trowa tell me if you won't?"
"Probably not."
"Fine then. I swear on my brain."
"Your BRAID."
"I don't think I'll be too happy if you remove my brain."
"You have a brain? I didn't know." Hilde said
"Of course I do! What did you think I was, a mindless sex toy?"
"Er..."
"Overshare."
"Sorry Mid. Anyway, I swear on my braid."
"'hokay. You better not lie."
"Do I lie?"
"No, good point."
"So tell me."
"I just got laid."
"Really?" Duo paused "I thought you did that already."
"Well, I'M happy for you."
"Must go, I have to make dinner, and my ass hurts." as she hung up the phone, she
could clearly hear Duo's yell "OVERSHARE!!".
Grinning, she took out a box of Macaroni and Cheese.
Popping it into the microwave, she heard he dad walk in.
"What the hell are you doing, Mid?"
"I was just making dinner..."
"For who? We ate four and a half hours ago."
"Really?" she glanced at the clock "Goddamnit!" it was 11:30.
"Where were you?"
"I was...with my friends."
"Until 11:30?"
"We...went to see a movie?"
"I'm gonna call your friends."
"Wait..."
*soon*
"Hello, Hilde? This is Midii's father. What were you and she doing until
11:30?....I see, thank you."
*click*
"She says you were working in the library."
"Oh...you know Hilde....always joking..."
"Uh-huh. You're grounded."
"But daddy..."
"For two weeks. Go to your room."
"But...there's food in the microwave!"
"I'll send it to you."
"But..."
"No phone, no TV, NO boyfriend--ever--"
"That's not fair! And who said I was with my boyfriend?"
"I was a teenaged boy once...and I noticed you're walking rather gingerly..."
"DADDY!"
"Goodnight, Midii."
"But..."
"Good night."
***
next day
"What's wrong Mid, why the long face?" Relena asked
"I'm grounded."
"Oooh, that sucks. How come?"
"Came home late."
"Ah, how long are you grounded?"
"Two weeks. And I never get to see my boyfriend"
"Just for coming home late?"
"I was at Trowa's house."
"Oh...I see. But that's not fair, is it? Making false assumptions? It's not like
you DID anything..."
"Yes, that would be the problem."
"You did something?"
Midii sighed "Guess what."
Relena covered her mouth. "Really? We HAVE to talk." she said, yanking her into
the girls bathroom.
***
Wufei looked over Heero's shoulder. "Oh no, not them too!!!"
Heero looked up from rocking Cathy. "I love you."
"WHAT?!"
"Not YOU, you ugly baboon! CATHY."
"...Oh. Well, anyway, Midii and Relena are going to go at it in the girl's
bathroom now."
Heero looked up "WHAT?"
"Don't you know? That's where all the girls go when they want to..." he made hand
gestures.
"...use the facilities?"
"Well...I suppose that too....but...they just tell us that...really, its just a
huge conspiracy they have. They don't want us to know the kinky things they do to
each other in there..."
"Are you feeling all right?"
As Wufei continued muttering about dirty bathroom orgies, Heero calmly put Cathy
in his sweater and walked away.
***
"Hey Quatre, can I tell you something?" Trowa whispered to him in homeroom that
morning. Quatre turned around "Sure, what's up?"
Trowa motioned for him to come closer. "I slept with Midii last night..."
Quatre stood up "You did WHAT?!" looking around the room, he slowly sat down.
"What?"
"Just what I told you."
"Wait, so you slept slept, or..."
"We had sex, ok?"
"Did you tell anyone else?"
"Uh...no."
"So I'm the only one who knows? I feel so loved."
"I'm sure she told Hilde, as they are best friends..."
"So just me and Hilde?"
"Well, our whole gang will know by lunch, seeing as Hilde probably told Duo, and
Relena's gonna find out somehow..."
"Which means that Heero's gonna know...oh, its ok, I'm still better than Wufei!"
"So...what am I supposed to do now?"
Quatre blinked. "What do you mean?"
"I just had sex with one of my best friends!"
"Well, you have been dating her for over six months, so I'm sure she's ok with
it..."
"But this makes it weird!"
"No it doesn't."
"Yes it does!"
"Calm down, I'm sure you'll figure it out..."
"Well, I hadn't had this part of the plan figured out yet!"
"Well, what do you want to do, break up with her?"
"No, but..."
"Well, I don't see what the problem is..."
"What if she thinks it's weird?"
"Then..."
"What if she thought I was really bad?"
"You weren't prepared for this, were you?"
"No, I wasn't!"
"Then why did you?"
"...She asked me to."
"Well...did you want to?"
"Yes...no...I don't know!"
"Well, then why don't you talk to her about it?"
"No way. That is what started this whole thing in the first place."
"Well...what do you want to do then?"
"I...don't know."
***
chapel...they ain't in public school
Duo sat down next to Midii. "So...whatcha thinking 'bout?"
"I'm grounded."
"Ah, that sucks."
"And Trowa hasn't said anything to me all day."
"Oh. Do you know why?"
"I've got a guess..."
"...Oh. Well, maybe he just freaked out or something"
"Does he seem like the type to freak out?"
"Ok, no."
"That's what I thought."
"So what, now you think he doesn't like you?"
"H-he doesn't...like me anymore?" her voice rose, and she got teary-eyed.
"Hey, I never said that!"
"T-this is all m-my fault..."
"Hey," he put an arm around her "It's ok, it's not your fault..."
Midii began to cry, and leaned into him. "Oh boy." he said, patting her on the
back.
***
"Hey," Wufei said, poking Hilde in the side "What's up with Midii?"
"Ah...she's grounded."
"She's never spazed out about that before..."
"It's a female thing. You know, our hormones get outa wack at certain times..."
"Oh..."
"Yeah...come on lets sit over here, leave her alone for a bit k?"
"All right."
***
Trowa was walked into the chapel, still discussing his problems with Quatre, when
he saw Midii. Hugging Duo.
"What the--" he pulled Quatre around "What is he doing?"
Quatre looked "It looks like he's comforting her..."
"HE'S HUGGING HER DAMNIT!"
"Shh!" Quatre clapped his hand over the other boy's mouth "Not in the house of
God!"
Trowa pried his hand off "I didn't know you were a Christian."
"Don't tell my father." Quatre whispered
"Riiiiiggght. But look! He's HUGGING her. That's _my_ job!!"
"Well, then, why aren't you over there?"
"Look at her. She's so upset, she's probably pissed off at me!"
Quatre said "Oh. Well, do you want to go talk to her then?"
Trowa crossed his arms "I told you before, talking is what got it all started!"
***
in language--spanish
"Hey...Duo, did you do your spanish homework?"
"Er...no, why?"
"I need to copy some ones..."
"Oh, sorry."
"That's ok. And what was going on with Midii in chapel?"
"Oh, she was freaking out about the Trowa thing."
"Really?"
"Yeah, she's grounded, no dating--ever-, and Trowa doesn't like her."
"How do you know?"
"He never talked to her once this morning, and he was in three of her classes
today so far."
"Oh, he is SO dead at lunch!"
"Yeah, but the weird thing is, I don't see when he had the TIME to break up with
her..."
Hilde paused. "You'd think he'd at least TELL her that it was over... that
jackass."
"Yeah, but it's so weird, its TROWA."
"I'll give you that."
***
lunch, all but Trowa and Midii present
Hilde sat down "Where is Trowa." she spat angrily.
Quatre looked up "Why?"
"Because he has Midii so freaked out, she's hiding in the bathroom!"
"The bathroom? Again? That's twice today!" Wufei shrieked.
He was ignored. "Where. Is. Trowa." Hilde asked again. Quatre looked down at
his food "I'm not supposed to tell you guys, sorry."
"What, he's off with his new girlfriend or something?"
"New girlfriend?"
"We know about his secret, come on."
"L-let me talk to Midii."
"She's in the girl's bathroom Quatre."
He shrugged. "Half the people here think I'm a girl, anyway."
He walked off.
***
"Midii? Midii..."
"Q-quatre?"
He knocked on the stall "Can I come in?"
"It'll be a little cramped, but..."
She unlocked the door. "Hi." she sniffed. Quatre walked in, and locked the door
again. "We have to talk."
This caused Midii to burst into tears
"We have to talk about Trowa." he said
She crossed her arms and sat down "What do you want to know about him?"
He knelt beside her. "He still likes you."
"No, he doesn't."
"He does!"
"Then why is he being so...weird?"
Quatre stated to what should have been blindingly obvious to everyone by now
"Because he LIKES you!"
"No, he doesn't."
He sighed. "Look. He's being all weird because he's freaking out about... you
guys." he finished blandly.
"Then why won't he talk to ME about this?"
"I don't know, why don't YOU talk to him?"
"I can't, he won't even look at me."
"Then make him look at you."
"What, flash him or something?"
"No, talk to him! Go up to him and TALK to him!"
"Ok."
***
in the guys bathroom
Midii opened the door, and slowly peeked in, to make sure there were no random
guys...using the facilities.
"Trowa...?"
No response.
"Trowa?"
again, silence
"Trowa, I can see your shoes, come out."
A stall door opened, and Trowa walked out.
"Isn't hiding in the bathroom a girl thing?"
"You weren't supposed to find me."
"I asked Quatre where you were."
"Oh."
"We have to talk."
Trowa attempted to go back in the stall, but Midii grabbed his arm. "Stay."
"What do you want?"
"I want you to tell me why you've been avoiding me!"
"Fine, you want to know?"
"Yes!"
"I'm really scared, ok??"
Midii blinked "What?!"
"You heard me!" he said, his voice rising three octaves.
"Why?"
Just then, the door swung open, and Wufei walked in.
"Get out, we're busy!" Midii shrieked, shoving him out and slamming the door
behind him. "So, you were saying?"
"Er..."
"Yes?"
"What were we talking about?"
"Oh no you don't buddy."
"Ok...that whole...you know...it really scared me ok?"
"Huh?"
"I don't know what we're supposed to do now, who we're supposed to be, I...I don't
have a plan."
"Hilde and Duo didn't have a plan."
"That's them! I'm talking about _us_!"
"'Kay, go on..."
"I just....don't know what to do..."
"Nothing's changed..."
"I know...but...it feels like it has..."
"Well, somethings have changed, I'm not allowed to see you ever again, but we can
still do the same stuff...just not for the next two weeks."
"Okay, but...I have a question Mid."
"What"
"Am I bad?"
"Trowa!"
***
"So, they're back together again?"
"Apparently."
"She's not mad at him again?"
"Apparently."
"I wanted to hit him!"
***
Midii and Trowa were sitting on the stairs outside school, talking. A car honked.
"Midii! It's time to go! And I told you, I _don't_ want you seeing him."
Trowa stood up and walked over to the side of the car "Good, afternoon sir, my
name is Duo Maxwell, and I was the one who was with your daughter last night."
"Why you--"
He cut him off. "I am _Hilde's_ boyfriend, and although your daughter is very
beautiful, I have no physical attraction to her."
"Oh" Midii's father looked almost dismayed. "Nice to meet you young man."
Midii got into the car, mouthing "I love you" as she drove off.
***
Trowa picked up his phone "Hello, Quatre?"
"Yes?"
"Can I have my flour baby? I need it for tomorrow."
"Uh...Trowa...I don't have your flour baby"
"What?!"
"Like I said, you and Midii picked up your kids after lunch. Maybe they're in
your house?"
"Nope, checked."
"Okay, I have to go, talk to you later."
"Bye."
He then called Midii.
"Hey. Is Midii there?"
"Who is this?"
Tro-ah...Duo."
"Duo eh? That lad at the car?"
"Yessir."
"Hold on."
"Hello?"
"Hey Midii."
"I love you."
"All right. Do you have my flour baby?"
"Er no...I thought you had them."
"Them?"
"Well, I don't have mine."
Realization slowly clicked simultaneously
"Oh shit."
"I'll go get them."
***
Trowa knocked on the old lady's door.
"What is it you...hey! You're that brat that was on my lawn!"
"Look, I came to apologize for that,"
"Oh, fine."
"Did you happen to find two small bags of flour?"
***
lunch
"Mmm, these are really good."
"Yeah!" Duo agreed
"Did you manage to find the flour babies?"
Trowa grimaced and said "You're eating them..."
Midii choked "W-what?!"
Duo reached for another star-shaped cookie "These are really--ow!" Midii had
whacked him on the arm. "Don't eat my baby!"
***
next day, hr
"Trowa, we've got a baby!"
"WHAT?!" Trowa jumped up and grabbed her by the shoulders
"...a FLOUR baby..."
He sat down "Oh good."
Quatre muttered "If he spazed out because of THAT, I'd hate to see how freaked out
he'd be if he had actually knocked her up..."
Trowa spun around "Are you saying I can't?"
Quatre glanced at him "I'm only saying you'd have to be pretty damn good, seeing
as it was one time, you used protection, and she was on her period..."
Trowa stared at him "How did you know that?"
"I know a lot of things you don't."
Midii interrupted "I've got to get to homeroom, do you want your flour baby or
not?"
Trowa held out his hands "Yes, please."
***
at lunch
As everyone was placing their food on the table, Duo suddenly jumped onto a stool
and shouted at the top of his lungs "I _AM_ BUSTY!!!!" He then jumped off the
stool, turned to Wufei and said "You SO owe me five bucks."
Trowa put his face in his hands "Why do I hang out with you guys?" he asked,
motioning at Heero who was stroking his flour baby, Duo who was trying to grab
Wufei's wallet from inside his pants, and Hilde, who was holding a long discussion
with Relena on whether top or bottom was the preferred position. Midii snaked her
arms around his waist. "Because I hang out here."
"Good point." He brought her face down for a kiss and whispered "With them around,
I don't think things will ever change."
***
we actually _really_ like Heero and Wufei, it's just...well...they're so fun to bash! The next chapter will be coming out hopefully soon, and the topic will be gossip. That's gonna suck for the group...
~Pip and Arwen