Darkness into light
By Arrietty
Sam was floating in darkness. Everywhere she looked it was black. Her mind was full of fog, clouding her memories and cognitive processes'. A small spark of memory flashed into her mind, something too dreadful and terrifying to grasp. The fog began to lift, leaving pure mind numbing terror that made her want to scream. No sound came forth. She tried to open her eyes but nothing happened. Darkness surrounded her and more flashes of memory bombarded her consciousness driving the fear deeper into her soul.
A voice.
"Will you do as I say, now?"
The sound reverberated around Sam's head.
"Yes," she screamed in her mind, "Yes, I will," she agreed blindly not knowing the outcome.
Slowly, the blackness merged into grey and then into bright light. Sam could now see the room she was in. It was a bedroom chamber, huge with ornate wall hangings. Blue and silver drapes were tied at each corner of the four poster bed by silver coloured ropes. The coverlet was rich brocade in dark blue with a light silver thread running throughout the pattern giving it a slight reflective shimmer from the lights hanging from the large domed ceiling. Sam could feel the texture of the bed covering under her fingertips as they slid gently over the surface.
Sam felt the weight of the long full skirt brush against her legs when she rose from sitting on the bed. The dark blue carpet was thick and spongy to her bare feet. The sensation of each step was bliss. The texture exaggerated by the almost forgotten sensation of touch. Sam wanted to stop and wriggle her toes into the long strands, but she was compelled to keep walking. The swish of the dress sliding over the luxurious carpet, music to her sense deprived ears.
Finally, she arrived in front of a full length ornate mirror. It had been a while since she had seen herself. Her dress was mid blue, with silver thread interwoven throughout the fabric of the skirt and concentrating heavily on the low cut tight fitting bodice. The skirt split at the front revealing solid silver material beneath. Sam's gaze travelled to her face, clean and recently brushed blond hair shone in the lamplight. At last, Sam stared into her blue eyes, there was emptiness beneath the surface. A small triumphant smile played around her lips, seconds before she saw her eyes flash golden and then her lips opened.
"Bow to your god, Telana."
Encompassing terror filled Sam's mind. She was a goa'uld. Memories flooded her mind, she had been captured four months ago and seven days previously, this goa'uld had chosen Sam as her new host. Seven days trapped in her own body by this slimy snake.
Sam started to fight.
"Samantha, do you want to go back?"
"No," she screamed in her head.
The sensory deprivation, alternating with the excruciating pain Telana had inflicted on her, would be too much. Sam felt Telana relent. Sam gave a half choked sob; only heard by herself and the snake within.
A cold feeling of despair began to overpower Sam, with no welcome release of tears to relieve the pain. Unbidden, O'Neill's concerned face floated before her – a memory buried in fog and mist.
"Who...?" Telana began to ask, only to be interrupted by her First Prime.
"The prisoners have arrived, Oh Queen!"
"Take them to the hall."
"Yes, Queen Telana."
The First Prime bowed again and strode from the room. The sound of clanking boots shuddering in Sam's mind. An overwhelming desire to laugh hysterically at the ludicrousness of the Jaffa armour, memories of O'Neill's comment sprung to mind. 'No wonder these guys are always cranky.'
"Quiet!" Telana ordered.
Sam's short spurt of mirth returned into despair – swirling fog clouded her mind and she sunk into a mindless stupor.
George listened patiently.
"General, this is Major Carter we're talking about."
Colonel O'Neill was frustrated and when Colonel O'Neill got frustrated all manners and protocol flew right out the window, along with his sense of caution. And if he continued to try General Hammond's patience any further, Jack's safety would be a point of concern.
George drew in a breath and quite seriously thought about counting to ten before speaking. "Don't you think I know that, colonel? I've let the search go on a lot longer than I normally would. We've run out of options, Jack. There has been no sign of her. No goa'uld has laid claim, nor have the Tok'ra seen her."
Jack's shoulders drooped slightly, his dark brown eyes bored into George's from deep darkened sockets. He was tired and thin; his skin had lost the healthy colour and now had a pallor that worried George.
"It's been over four months, son. You have to let her go." His voice was gentle, but firm.
George felt Jack flinch as he laid a hand on his shoulder; the muscles tense and ridged under his fingers. It only took a second for Jack to shake off George's hand irritably.
"Don't you think I know that? In fact it is 119 days and 17 hours" he looked at his watch "And 33 minutes since we were attacked and she was taken."
Jack paced the small office, anger bristling from him.
"I know exactly how long it's been," George knew the pain and the complication of the unspoken bond between the colonel and Major Carter.
O'Neill turned around and faced George, his eyes had deepened in colour, and a faint sheen of tears coated the surface. George wasn't sure if it was from anger or sorrow.
"We don't leave our people behind, sir," O'Neill accused.
"I have no choice, Jack. The order has come from high up. As from now, you are on sick leave for ten days. You're exhausted. You haven't had a break for nearly five months."
Jack opened his mouth to say something, but George forestalled him with an upraised hand. "This is an order, Colonel O'Neill. When you return and if you pass your medical you can go back on roster, but until then I want you to get some R and R".
George waited to see how Jack would react. It could go either way, but he would never find out which way Jack would have chosen because the alarms went off.
"General Hammond to the gate room… General Hammond to the gate room… Unscheduled incoming wormhole." The request boomed over the loudspeaker system.
Both general and colonel left at a run towards the gate room.
Ten days after the goa'uld Queen Telana had taken over Sam's body; Sam was awakened from her fog filled existence with a tremor of fear. For the first time this was not her own emotion – something was making Telana afraid.
Gradually, Sam found she could quietly work in and around Telana's mind; picking up bits and pieces of her past. Sporadic thoughts and knowledge filtered through to Sam slowly filling her in on what was happening and why Telana had let her guard drop.
The System Lords were attacking the home world, trying to take it for their own. Telana had done something wrong, she had broken one of their laws – but what? Sam wasn't sure, but she got the distinct feeling that even Telana was unsure what she had done wrong.
Telana rampaged through the halls of her palace. Shouting orders to her Jaffa. Sam waited patiently, watching and listening to Telana, separate from the hate and rage that was like a red hot coil inside the goa'uld that roiled deep within her.
The ground shook as explosions hit the palace. The System Lords had managed to get past Telana's defenses.
"Queen Telana, we have lost three of our ships." The First Prime cried out to his Queen as he ran into the hall and dropped to one knee. He was breathing heavily from running and blood was dripping down from a head wound.
"I do not want to hear of failure!" Telana screamed at him.
Sam watched as the brave Jaffa stared the false god in the face, drew in a deep breath and continued his message. "The Tok'ra have avoided capture."
Sam felt a sliver of hope. The Tok'ra are here.
"I will not hear anymore excuses. You WILL find them and bring them before me." The angry goa'uld ordered him.
Sam began to feel afraid, not for herself anymore, this she had under control. No, this fear was for the Tok'ra. People she cared about could be amongst this group. Sam held no concern with Telana reaching her thoughts. The goa'uld was too engrossed in her own worries and as long as Sam kept quiet, Telana left her alone.
It was the following day that they caught some Tok'ra. Sam hoped and prayed that Jacob, her father wasn't amongst them. Sam had no idea where her father was. Even before she had been captured she hadn't known and now after all this time, she wouldn't know anyway.
Amidst the thumping of explosions and dust falling from the ceiling, it was very surreal as three Tok'ra, all wounded in some way, were lead quietly into the hall. They stood proud and strong. One, she recognized and he in turn showed a flash of recognition, with understanding and forgiveness all in one look. They knew their fate, just like Sam knew too; something too unbearable to let happen.
"No!" Sam shouted at Telana.
"You… be quiet," Telana replied and then gave a short painful burst of energy that hit Sam.
The three Tok'ra stood quietly - awaiting their fate.
"No!" Sam shouted again, battering Telana with her thoughts and will. Trying to stop what was going to happen.
Telana turned on Sam in anger and shut her down… no thought, sight or sound penetrated the black fog that swirled around Sam's consciousness.
Sam found herself standing facing the highly decorated wall. Behind her, she could sense several people, they were afraid. Someone was going to die today… again.
"On your knees before your Queen." Sam recognized the First Prime's gruff voice, then a sound of thumps, mingled with stifled groans as knees compacted with the hard floor.
She felt herself slowly turn around. The warmth surrounding her eyelids told her that her eyes were glowing. A sudden burst of power surged through Sam from Telana telling her she was in control. Not fully understanding why Telana wanted to have extra control until her eyes rested on the three people kneeling before her.
Surprise, hope and despair flickered across Colonel O'Neill's face simultaneously as Daniel cried out, "Sam."
Teal'c was watching from behind the two kneeling men, not showing any emotion. Daniel's face showed all the pain he was feeling at seeing Sam trapped within her own body, while Jack, tilted his head on one side.
"Sooooo…"
Sam tensed; waiting for the colonel's usual sarcastic response, but Telana pre-empted his comments and raised her hand and blasted Daniel across the floor with her hand device.
Sam could feel the power surge throughout her body and flow from her hand. She could barely deal with Telana's glee at causing pain mingled with Daniel's agony as the strong force hit his body.
Seconds before Telana spoke, Sam knew what was going to happen. Fearful of being shut down again, Sam kept quiet, waiting to see.
Telana's double voice vibrated in Sam's voice box as she ordered the fate of Sam's friends.
"Sholva." Telana moved over to where Teal'c was kneeling, she smiled menacingly at him. "Execute him," she ordered.
"No!" Daniel let out a strangled cry.
Telana spun around on one foot. "You, will make a very nice host. Take him away," she ordered the guards.
Telana looked over towards the colonel. "No," Sam whispered. "Please don't."
The deep seated pleasure that Telana found in killing someone, causing pain and anguish to her host, flowed through to Sam.
Telana raised her hand, the device glistening in the lamplight. Power surged throughout Sam's body, down her arm mingling with the device, culminating into a force that was killing the man transfixed by the force of the hand device.
Sam knew, one word uttered from her, and Telana would shut her down . . . never to be able to help the man she felt feelings for.
'Sam, it was amazing, Share actually was able to communicate to me via the hand device."
The memory of Daniel's experience with Share was strong in Sam and she channelled her thoughts to the colonel. She could feel herself travel down her arm into her hand and into O'Neill's mind.
"Sir!" Sam walked around the corner of a log cabin. Birds and wildlife were filling the surrounding trees with distant noise.
"Carter?" O'Neill turned around with a start. "What are you doing here?"
"I've come . . . I mean, I need to talk to you." Sam hesitated, what she wanted to say was difficult. It was something she'd longed to say for such a very long time, but never found the courage.
"I'm listening." His body language was hostile and on the defensive. No smile touched his face, his eyes hard and unforgiving.
"I don't know where to start." Sam turned around helplessly looking for somewhere to sit, her legs had started to tremble.
"Well for starters, you can stop killing me," his voice laced with venom.
"Sir, no . . . it's me, Sam." Her voice broke.
The colonel moved towards her and grabbed hold of her arms. "How do I know that?" he shouted in her face.
Sam felt a tickle on her cheek as a tear slipped down her face.
"Remember Daniel and Share?"
He frowned and shook his head.
Sam could feel Telana boring into the colonel's brain, tearing his head apart from the inside out. He fell at her feet writhing, clutching his head, with the agony that Telana was inflicting on him.
"Sam!" He gasped.
With renewed energy, Sam worked her way back into O'Neill's mind – she knew there was no way she could stop Telana, but maybe, she could tell him how she felt.
"Jack." Her voice was soft as she helped him to his feet. His eyes dark with pain stared into hers. "I'm sorry, she is too strong. I can't help." The tears flowed freely down her cheeks.
Jack nodded . . . "Come here," he said, before pulling her into his arms.
"I love you, Jack," she whispered.
"I know," he replied.
Sam reached up with both hands and held Jack's face. She pulled his head down and kissed him – feelings whirled around Sam, blurring into a coloured swirl, like what you'd see on a carousel as you spun around. As he returned the kiss, Sam could feel Jack's arms tight around her, holding her like he'd never held her before.
One moment Jack was kissing Sam and the next he lay on the floor of the goa'uld palace. His mind had turned to mush, the only memory left was of Sam.
Sam was kneeling above him, tears dripping from her chin. Her eyes red from crying – she couldn't have looked more beautiful. Then she was gone. The evil, eye glowing, slimy, putrid, slippery, nasty . . . then a sharp pain overpowered Jack and he was plunged into darkness.
Sam's first sight of the world after Jack had been killed was Teal'c's determined face. His staff weapon was pointing straight at her. Telana activated her shield just as he fired his weapon. The shot was absorbed by the shield. Teal'c stood still, his face sad as he looked at Sam. Sam felt her body walk towards Teal'c; she knew that Telana was going to kill him. While Telana was distracted by this objective, Sam took the opportunity to try and take back some control of her own body.
Summoning all her strength, Sam centred all her will onto her left hand, making it hers again. With lightning speed, she moved her hand across and shut off the personal shield. A blinding blue light enveloped her, and she fell to the ground. Before the blackness claimed her, she saw Jack's concerned eyes as he lowered his zat gun to his side.
Sam hurt everywhere. Telana had been at it again. The last time Sam had tried to take over; Telana had caused so much pain that Sam was terrified to try anything again. Now this time, it felt worse and Sam was too frightened to even open her eyes.
A memory came to her . . . Jack alive . . . he was alive!
Sam's eyes shot open. She was in one of the Tok'ra tunnels. She turned her head . . . then a sudden realization hit her. She could turn her own head. Sam shot into a sitting position and called out.
"Anyone there?" Her voice was croaky and felt sore.
"Sam." It was her father, Jacob.
"Dad? What happened? Where am I? Where's my tea . . ." She stopped talking as Daniel, Teal'c and Jack crowded the doorway, watching her with concerned eyes.
"You're alive?" she looked directly at Jack.
He smiled.
Sam turned to her Dad, afraid of the answer, even though she knew that she was in control of her own body again. "Is she gone?"
He nodded.
Jack pushed through his team and walked over to Sam.
"Come here," he said and lifted her to her feet. "We have to go now, it's not safe. The System Lords are attacking the Tok'ra base."
Leaning on Jack, Sam walked out through the tunnels to the ring transporter. With a flash of light she was on the surface. The Stargate glinted in the sunlight which felt warm on her skin.
Jack leaned into Sam, "Thank you," he whispered.
The vortex of the wormhole opening nearly drowned out his words.
Sam looked up at him, and whispered back, "Anytime, sir."
The End
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