I can't believe I let her go...am I that stupid to let the girl I had loved for years...slip through my fingers?

I didn't...and don't know what to do. Melissa has moved on, but I sure haven't.

I think of her every night, and I always will. Eric and Taylor, married. Daley and Nathan...married, Lex...he's dating, me...I'm worthless. I mean, I'm still in my bed.

Nathan and Eric always say, "C'mon man, you'll get over it." But I will NEVER get over Melissa!!! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!! I AM SUCH AN IDIOT FOR LETTING HER GO!!!!!

Will I ever get over this...this torment of seeing my friends having a good life while I'm sitting here...thinking of how much of an ASS I am.

The stupid things I do...can drive everyone away...I'll just have to live with myself.

Jackson stared at his ceiling, he was twenty-five years old, and he was single. He could still remember the day he drove Melissa away from him.

"Melissa!! It's not what you think!!" Jackson shouted. He was drunk, he was also cheating on Melissa.

"No, Melissa wait!!" Melissa turned around, tears streaming down her face. "No you listen...I trusted you Cody Jackson, and you went around and cheated on a...a...bleach blonde tramp!! How could you!?" Melissa asked bitterly through her tears.

Jackson looked at her, "C'mon baby...don't do this..."

Melissa wiped her tears and shook her head, "I'm sorry, but I'm ending this..."

And Melissa left, Jackson turned around. The 'Bleach blonde tramp' looked at him. "You know I'm better than just a bleach blonde tramp..." She said.

"Jessica!! Please get out of my apartment! You know what, you are a bleach blonde tramp...you...you led me on!!" Jackson shouted.

Jessica put her hands on her hips, "I led you on...you led me on...with your muscles, your singing...your amazingly hot talents. Your too hard to say 'no' too..." Jessica said in a sexy voice.

Jackson put his head in his hands, "Please...get out of here. Now..."

"But-" "NOW!!!!"

Yup, Jackson remembered that. How awful he felt, and not only from the hang over he got the other day. He never wanted to hurt Melissa, he also felt stupid for getting drunk in the first place.

The time Melissa had dumped Jackson was when they were twenty-three, Jackson had a good two years to get over Melissa.

Sometimes he did, but Lex often brought up Melissa. Daley and Nathan were mad at Jackson for breaking Melissa's heart.

Jackson had always answered them with the same answer, "I'm sorry, I never meant to screw things up between us!"

Eric had grown to dislike Jackson, he thought that Jackson was a loser. A scum who was only good for about seven years, then turned down the sweetest girl in high school!

Jackson had no way of expressing his feelings the right way, so he always wrote his thoughts down on paper.

All of his songs, his poems, his feelings, his deepest darkest thoughts. He was a whole different person on paper, but in the real world. He hated himself.

He hated that he had to live...every single day with that guilt, hanging in the air. Suffocating Jackson where ever he went.

Jackson wanted to get Melissa back and he wanted to stop wasting his life...wishing he was dead or he was some eskamo in Alaska where nobody knew him.

Because so many of his friends, their parents, his dad, hated him. And he felt that God hated him also, that God was punishing him with this long-lasting-never-ending guilt that put him over the edge.

No matter how much he'd drink, he'd purposely ruin his life. He was never happy. And Jackson wanted a change...

(Okay, this is my second story. Tell my what ya'll think!)