The Very Secret Diary of Nami, the pervy hobbit/elf/man fancier
Day 1
v. bored. spied on Frodo. Ran off to meet Gandalf. Damn Gandalf wanting to show him his pointy hat trick. Better tell Sam.
Day 3
Bilbo's party. Laughed at Merry and Pippin. Gandalf made them do the clean his dishes punishment and many others! I was the one who set of the fireworks! Made me laugh harder. Bilbo disappeared. Know what happened. Pervy Sackville Bagginses took him and tried to "convince" him
Day 4
Bilbo gone. Gave pretty ring to Frodo. Frodo misses Bilbo.....don't know why..Sam tried to cheer him up.damn that Sam. O well! Still got Merry!!
Day 7
Gandalf left then came back. Told Frodo to go to Bree. Sam spied on them. Suspect Sam did more to Frodo then give him a foot rub. Followed them. Bumped into Merry and Pippin stealing food. Merry broke his carrot.taking the hard way down.told them to go this way did they listen..nooo! Told me he looked very hard for that carrot.said it was for me...maybe I shoulda stayed with Frodo....v. scared right now
Day 8
Made it to Bree. Damn wraiths. Not chasing Frodo.chasing me! Wraiths have pervier thoughts then hobbits. Aragorn stared at Frodo all night. Sam almost killed him. Told Sam Aragorn liked Frodo's pants. Stupid Sam, believing everything I say.
-Later-
v. early. 3 o'clock. Wraiths came again. Tried to kill hobbits. Think that they all hobbits fancy me. Told them only Merry did. Suspect that Ringwraith number five has pervy thoughts about Frodo. All ran away..said I owed them. I want Merry.
Day 10
v. cold. Stupid marshes. Got to ride Bill!! YAY! Laughed at Aragorn when he fell. Sam pushed him. Aragorn definitely a prevy hobbit fancier...saw Arwen stalking us.
Day 13
Damn wraiths came again. Stabbed my Frodo cause he was hitting on me. Sam didn't see. Suspect Frodo was doing that to make me feel better. Sam looked for herbs. Saw Arwen talking to him. She does not like Aragorn anymore.tried to kill him. Took Frodo away. Asked Arwen to ride her horse.said no. she wanted Frodo..-sobs- now I have to walk.
Day 20
Got to Rivendell. Feet v. cold. Got nice elves to warm them. Gandalf back. Something to do with Saruman? Fell asleep did not want to hear what Saruman did to him. Frodo woke up with wrinkly fingers. Sam gave him many many baths. Never want to use strawberry soap again. Suspect that Gandalf wanted one too.
Day 21
Gollum hiding in garden. Got shoved into a box thingee. Elrond a cross dresser. Wearing Arwen's purple dress. Laughed at him. He got annoyed. Threatened to not let me go to the Council. I shut up. Merry used elf glue on his carrot. Told me to meet him in his room tonight.
Day 22
Council v. boring. Sat beside prettiest elf. Chatted a lot. Called Legolas. Told him he is the prettiest elf there. Saw Gimli shagging Arwen. Told Legolas. Laughed at Gimli. Nice night with Merry last night. Legolas asked me if I liked Twister. Said yes.
Day 24
-sobs- read everybody's diaries. Laughed at Aragorn. Writes about his stuble and whether or not he is king.nobody mentioned me. Got mad at Merry. Cried. He did not mention me. Aragorn fought with Boromir about who was to carry Frodo up the mountain. Walked with Legolas and talked about how those mortals cannot walk on snow. I think I shall be an elf now. YAY taller then the hobbits!! Had to go down the mountain. Stupid Saruman. Complained about how weak how everybody else was. They couldn't walk on snow.
Day 28
Gandalf fell into dark with ex. The Balrog wasn't over him. Still v. much mad. Much of a sobfest after. Boromir did the blow the Horn of Gondor trick. Didn't fall for it. Starting to pity Merry again. People keep on thinking he is Pippin.
Day 29
A lot of the Fellowship have the hots for Frodo. Poor Frodo.told him. He suspected it too. Think Aragorn is the most in love with him other then Sam. Sam will kill him if he tries anything.
Day 33
In Lothlorien. Legolas made a facial mask. Aragorn teased him. Told him he wasn't getting any older. Gimi showed tricks to Galadriel....or was it Celeborn? Read everybodys supposedly "very secret diaries." Honestly, shouldn't leave them lying around. Ruffled through a lot of hair care products to find Legolas'. Still no mention of me. Pippin fell into elves trap. Merry didn't..suspect that the woodchuck was leading him on. Saw Galadriel talking to Sauron..scared me even more. Told Legolas he was a much better prancer then Galadriel.
Day 36
Boromir followed Frodo. Don't know what he did. Sam suspects something. Ate food. Must get to other side soon. Talked to Gollum. Said he was v. sad that nobody was hitting on him. Told him Frodo secretly had a fetish for Gollumy type creatures. Gollum v. happy. Told him not to tell Sam.
Day 36 Later
Terrible battle. Boromir died. Merry and Pippin painted target marks on him. Helped them. Merry and Pippin gone now. Uruk-hai took them. Saw them give Merry new carrot. V. sad that Merry was gone. Did not care for Boromir.
Day 36 Even MORE Later
Found out that Frodo went alone with Sam. Made me more sad. Stayed with Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli. Must follow the Uruk-Hai. Save my Merry. Am prettiest shape shifter thing between them all.then again. I am the only shape shifter teleporter thing. Legolas pretties elf still. Told him fighting looks suits him.
Day 1
v. bored. spied on Frodo. Ran off to meet Gandalf. Damn Gandalf wanting to show him his pointy hat trick. Better tell Sam.
Day 3
Bilbo's party. Laughed at Merry and Pippin. Gandalf made them do the clean his dishes punishment and many others! I was the one who set of the fireworks! Made me laugh harder. Bilbo disappeared. Know what happened. Pervy Sackville Bagginses took him and tried to "convince" him
Day 4
Bilbo gone. Gave pretty ring to Frodo. Frodo misses Bilbo.....don't know why..Sam tried to cheer him up.damn that Sam. O well! Still got Merry!!
Day 7
Gandalf left then came back. Told Frodo to go to Bree. Sam spied on them. Suspect Sam did more to Frodo then give him a foot rub. Followed them. Bumped into Merry and Pippin stealing food. Merry broke his carrot.taking the hard way down.told them to go this way did they listen..nooo! Told me he looked very hard for that carrot.said it was for me...maybe I shoulda stayed with Frodo....v. scared right now
Day 8
Made it to Bree. Damn wraiths. Not chasing Frodo.chasing me! Wraiths have pervier thoughts then hobbits. Aragorn stared at Frodo all night. Sam almost killed him. Told Sam Aragorn liked Frodo's pants. Stupid Sam, believing everything I say.
-Later-
v. early. 3 o'clock. Wraiths came again. Tried to kill hobbits. Think that they all hobbits fancy me. Told them only Merry did. Suspect that Ringwraith number five has pervy thoughts about Frodo. All ran away..said I owed them. I want Merry.
Day 10
v. cold. Stupid marshes. Got to ride Bill!! YAY! Laughed at Aragorn when he fell. Sam pushed him. Aragorn definitely a prevy hobbit fancier...saw Arwen stalking us.
Day 13
Damn wraiths came again. Stabbed my Frodo cause he was hitting on me. Sam didn't see. Suspect Frodo was doing that to make me feel better. Sam looked for herbs. Saw Arwen talking to him. She does not like Aragorn anymore.tried to kill him. Took Frodo away. Asked Arwen to ride her horse.said no. she wanted Frodo..-sobs- now I have to walk.
Day 20
Got to Rivendell. Feet v. cold. Got nice elves to warm them. Gandalf back. Something to do with Saruman? Fell asleep did not want to hear what Saruman did to him. Frodo woke up with wrinkly fingers. Sam gave him many many baths. Never want to use strawberry soap again. Suspect that Gandalf wanted one too.
Day 21
Gollum hiding in garden. Got shoved into a box thingee. Elrond a cross dresser. Wearing Arwen's purple dress. Laughed at him. He got annoyed. Threatened to not let me go to the Council. I shut up. Merry used elf glue on his carrot. Told me to meet him in his room tonight.
Day 22
Council v. boring. Sat beside prettiest elf. Chatted a lot. Called Legolas. Told him he is the prettiest elf there. Saw Gimli shagging Arwen. Told Legolas. Laughed at Gimli. Nice night with Merry last night. Legolas asked me if I liked Twister. Said yes.
Day 24
-sobs- read everybody's diaries. Laughed at Aragorn. Writes about his stuble and whether or not he is king.nobody mentioned me. Got mad at Merry. Cried. He did not mention me. Aragorn fought with Boromir about who was to carry Frodo up the mountain. Walked with Legolas and talked about how those mortals cannot walk on snow. I think I shall be an elf now. YAY taller then the hobbits!! Had to go down the mountain. Stupid Saruman. Complained about how weak how everybody else was. They couldn't walk on snow.
Day 28
Gandalf fell into dark with ex. The Balrog wasn't over him. Still v. much mad. Much of a sobfest after. Boromir did the blow the Horn of Gondor trick. Didn't fall for it. Starting to pity Merry again. People keep on thinking he is Pippin.
Day 29
A lot of the Fellowship have the hots for Frodo. Poor Frodo.told him. He suspected it too. Think Aragorn is the most in love with him other then Sam. Sam will kill him if he tries anything.
Day 33
In Lothlorien. Legolas made a facial mask. Aragorn teased him. Told him he wasn't getting any older. Gimi showed tricks to Galadriel....or was it Celeborn? Read everybodys supposedly "very secret diaries." Honestly, shouldn't leave them lying around. Ruffled through a lot of hair care products to find Legolas'. Still no mention of me. Pippin fell into elves trap. Merry didn't..suspect that the woodchuck was leading him on. Saw Galadriel talking to Sauron..scared me even more. Told Legolas he was a much better prancer then Galadriel.
Day 36
Boromir followed Frodo. Don't know what he did. Sam suspects something. Ate food. Must get to other side soon. Talked to Gollum. Said he was v. sad that nobody was hitting on him. Told him Frodo secretly had a fetish for Gollumy type creatures. Gollum v. happy. Told him not to tell Sam.
Day 36 Later
Terrible battle. Boromir died. Merry and Pippin painted target marks on him. Helped them. Merry and Pippin gone now. Uruk-hai took them. Saw them give Merry new carrot. V. sad that Merry was gone. Did not care for Boromir.
Day 36 Even MORE Later
Found out that Frodo went alone with Sam. Made me more sad. Stayed with Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli. Must follow the Uruk-Hai. Save my Merry. Am prettiest shape shifter thing between them all.then again. I am the only shape shifter teleporter thing. Legolas pretties elf still. Told him fighting looks suits him.