-Nina-
Fabian and joy, Fabian and Joy, Fabian and Joy.
I just can't get it out of my thoughts...how could he do that...WHY would he do that. Yes i do know we broke up but really? He's moved on that fast...(sighs).
I'm standing in the kichen. With the kiss, THEIR kiss replaying in my head... i feel so distraught...so alone...so Empty.
Pop, the toaster brings me out of my re-careing flashback.
My eyes dart away from the toast and slowly glide to let my pupils have full sight of a sharp...long...knife.
Before i can control myself i seem to be drawn to it... i see it getting closer and closer...
The mark on my arm starts to burn...i choose to ignore it.
I reach the counter and stop...
My hand slips towards the knife...that shiny knife.
I feel pain rush over my arm...i grin...i like the pain.
I hear a small patter on the floor...
It's red...
It's a liquid...
It's sticky...
It's my BLOOD.
I grin in satisfaction...
I'm in pain but it's nothing to compare with the pain in my heart...
It's painful but peaceful...
I feel better...
I do the un-thinkable...
I get the knife and slowly...
Very
Very
Very
Slowly..
I move my hand that seems to be attatched to the knife up my arm...to my shoulder...
I groan in pain and happiness...
I keep it moving up my collar-bone...
Until it reaches my...
Neck...
I put more force on the blade...
I move it to the side of my neck...
And finally i...
Swiftly...
Slash the knife through my neck...
Through the artery...
I scream in delight...
And torture...
I fall to the ground...
Everything seems to happen in slow motion
I see Fabian at the 4oor with what i can tell is a shocked face...
Nina...WHY? He asked...
You... i manage to choke out
Nina, im sorry for everything i've done wrong to you please don't go...
It's too late to apologise now Fabian...You're not sorry...
And then i smile a sad, painful smile and close my eyes...
For this is the last time ill be able to think...
I hear a cry... It's Fabian's... Too bad he's too late...
I feel my heart stop...
I'm dead.`...
Ok so it's now 01:47...(yawn) Bye xxx