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If she would have

How could she be so selfish? How could she just leave me alone like this? I can't believe she would do that to me! She was supposed to love me! She was supposed to be there for me! Now she just is gone.

How could she do this to me? Why? I just want to ask her why all of this happened? Why it happened? Hell, I don't even know how it happened!

I hope she knows that I have to live without her. I have to live with people staring at me and feeling sorry for me. I have to deal with it, not her. I have to watch all of our friends get married and I just look at old pictures being without love.

It's her fault. She left me! I thought she loved me! If she did then she wouldn't have left. She should have tried harder. She should of thought of me. She should have thought of our future.

How could she just go? Without a goodbye. Without an argument. She didn't say anything. She just walked out the door. It was supposed to be a normal Tuesday. A normal day. And now she's gone.

She doesn't know how I feel. She didn't think of that, did she? She could have done everything she could, but she didn't. She didn't try! If she did try then I wouldn't be in this moment.

If she did try then Chad wouldn't pat my back every time I see him. If she did try Sharpay and Zeke wouldn't bring me food everyday. If she tried harder then Taylor wouldn't call me every other second. If she did then Kelsi and Jason wouldn't bring me CDs of her voice, just so I can listen. If she would have tried then I wouldn't just stare out the window waiting.

If she did try then her picture wouldn't be sitting next to the engagement ring. The ring I was going to give her at dinner. Before she left.

If she wasn't selfish then I would be engaged to her. We would be planning our wedding. We could be thinking of names for future kids. We could sit by the fireplace and laugh while roasting marshmallows inside while she freaked out because she didn't want to burn our house down.

If she would have tried then our life would have been perfect. She didn't try. She left. She didn't think of me.

If she would have tried then instead of going out with my friends to clear my mind I could talk to her. But she was selfish.

If she would have just waited one more second then we would be engaged.

If she would have tried just a little bit longer. I wouldn't have to cry.

If she wasn't selfish then I wouldn't have watched her body lowered into the ground.

If she would have tried I wouldn't have had to confirm that it was indeed her body.

If she would have thought of me then I wouldn't of had to watch that drunk driver go to jail for killing my true love.

If she would have thought of our future she would have waited ten more minutes to go get milk.

Since she left me, I can only do one thing. Lay down next to her at the cemetery with the empty pill bottle in my hand.

If I would have tried to live without her, I would have failed.