DEREK'S POV
"When are you going to tell her?" Casey looked at me confused
I shrugged "I don't know…never?" I asked hopefully she gave me a look I sighed "Soon I guess"
"Why not now?"
"Cause she's not here I can't tell her if she's not here" I know I'm stalling and I gave her a lame answer but I can't help it just because I don't want to be with Darcy anymore doesn't mean I want to hurt her and I know this is kinda out of the blue cause I didn't give any signs that I didn't want to do this anymore…at least not in front of her
"Nice try Derek" she took my cell phone out of my pocket and started dialing
I looked at her in horror when I realized who she was calling "What are you doing?" I tried to grab the phone away from her but she refused to give it up She wasn't supposed to get better at fighting against me…damn her "Give me the phone Case"
"Forget it you have to tell her" I manage to get her to hang up but she still wouldn't let go of the phone.
"I will…just not now" I still tried to take the phone away but she had a freakin death grip on the damn thing.
"Derek if you don't do it soon you would come up with reasons why you can't do it later"
"No I won't" she gave me another look "Do I have to do it here though?" its useless to fight against something like this I figured out by now that there are some things I need to just give up on cause it's a lost cause…like Darcy "I don't want to break up with her at our apartment" dad and Nora thought it would be cheaper if me and Casey shared an apartment then to have dorms or a apartment for each of us.
She shrugged "Just go for a walk or something then" she dialed the number again
"No don't even…hi Darc what's up?" I glared at Casey hoping she would catch on fire or something from my glare but no such luck. And she just smirked at me.
"Derek? Hey how you doing? I missed you…and not much just hanging with the girls…you?"
"I'm fine just chilling with Casey at home" I knew that wasn't the smartest move she's a little insecure when it comes to me hanging out with other girls especially one that is living with me that's not technically related to me…of course she has every right to be about the last one.
"Oh? How is she doing?" I rolled my eyes I can feel her grinding her teeth and the fake smile she has on her face. She doesn't actually mind Casey much when we're all hanging out together she just hates the idea of me being alone with her…again she has every right to be on that one.
"She's fine…hey do you want to go for a walk with me?"
"Right now?" I was about to say we could go later but the glare Casey gave me told me not to.
"Yeah I really think now's a good time"
She hesitated probably has a pretty good idea why I want to now "Ok…I'll come by and we can head out somewhere" Shit if we walk together somewhere she'll start asking questions that I don't have any answers for. Definitely need to meet up somewhere so I can think about what I'm going to say
"How about I just met you at the bus stop that's in the middle of our places?"
"See you in 10 minutes…I love you"
I winced "Yeah me too…later" I snapped my phone shut and groaned How am I going to explain to her that I lost interest in her without sounding to harsh or a player? I guess I'm going to find out cause ready or not she's about to meet me in 10 minutes
Look we gotta talk
Dang I know
I know it's just
It's just...
Some things I gotta get of my chest alright....
Yeahhhh...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh, whoa...
Listen..
"Sorry I'm late" she walked over to me slowly I knew she wasn't sorry at all for prolonging the inevitable but neither was I cause it gave me more time to think about what to say.
"Its ok" I stood up when she got by me I hugged her and kissed her on her cheek.
"What's with the random need to meet up?" she pulled away to look at me.
I sighed "You might want to sit down…we need to talk"
She sat down and sighed "I knew it…are you actually going to tell me why you want to end it so suddenly?" I sat back down by her.
"That's why I called…or Casey called for me rather but whatever"
"Of course it has something about her" she looked away from me annoyed "I was hoping that if we were breaking up we would finally stop talking about Casey but no such luck she's always going to come up"
I rolled my eyes "Of course she is…I told you from the beginning that she was my stepsister/roommate/best friend so she was going to always be around and you said you can handle that" I snapped at her I know I shouldn't cause I'm about to break up with her but she's really getting on my nerves all the time I don't mind it when Casey does it cause that's our thing but ever since Darcy met Casey she felt the constant need to compete with her and doing things that annoy the hell out of me sure I let Casey slid but that's OUR relationship with each other not anyone else's
"I am handling it" she snapped back at me
"Oh yeah constantly giving me a hard time about her complaining every chance you get is handling it real well Darc" I rolled my eyes at her again a habit I got before we even went out.
"Well maybe if you weren't so hung up on her I wouldn't complain so much"
I scoffed "Please you get mad every time I even look at another girl when I'm not even checking her out or anything" she glared at me but didn't comment knowing I was right I just smirked at her.
Baby come here and sit down, let's talk
I got a lot to say so I guess I'll start by
Saying that I love you,
But you know, this thing ain't been
No walk in the park for us
I swear it'll only take a minute
You'll understand when I finish, yeah
And I don't wanna see you cry
But I don't wanna be the one to tell you a lie so
"You love her more than me don't you?" she looked me sadly
"Darc-"
"I knew it"
I groaned in frustration "God would you stop doing that?!"
"What?! Its true! Its not you actually made much effort to hide it or anything!"
"I never said I was interested in her"
"You didn't deny it either"
"I did too!"
"At first yeah but after a while you just ignore it and change the subject"
"Well excuse me for getting tired of defending our friendship all the time it gets tiring after a while you know" Again lame excuse and pointless to deny what we both know is true but I can't help it that I'm too stubborn to admit defeat I was born that way so sue me I sighed "Darc you know I love you right? I loved being with you I really did…but I just think we're way too different and I don't think I can live up to your expectations…sorry"
"Look I'm sorry I've been difficult lately but I think we can work this out"
"I don't think we can you know we've been drifting apart not talking to each other much and when we do we argue"
"But that was how we got together remember?"
"I know but we don't make up anymore or anything plus the fights we had before was a way of resisting each other then out of anger" I knew from the way she tried not to cry she knew I was right.
How do you let it go? When you,
You just don't know? What's on,
The other side of the door
When you're walking out, talk about it
Everything I tried to remember to say
Just went out my head
So I'ma do the best I can to get you to understand
'cause I know
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you, it's me
I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh)
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye
Shit now what do I say? I had a nice little speech before I got here but now I can't remember…I guess I have to wing it "I wasn't exactly boyfriend of the year or anything so this should give you a chance to find the one for you cause I'm pretty sure I'm not the one babe"
"At least not for me right?" she said a little bitterly I tried really hard not to roll my eyes or get up and leave No no I can't leave just yet…Casey would be pissed if I left now…god the things I do for this woman and she's not even here!
"I know deep down you know we shouldn't be together anymore…we just don't love each other like we used to…I guess we only stayed with each other cause it was familiar and safe"
"I don't want to say goodbye yet"
I sighed "A part of me doesn't either but we have to eventually" I know I don't love her the way I used to but I do care about her still so it makes me sad thinking I'm never going to see her again "But maybe one day we can be friends after a while and we found the one for us" I smiled a little at her.
She tried to give me one back but failed "Yeah maybe"
Girl I know your heart is breaking
And a thousand times I
Found myself asking, "Why? Why?"
Why am I taking so long to say this?
But trust me, girl I never
Meant to crush your world
And I never
Thought I would see the day we grew apart
And I wanna know
How do you let it go? When you,
You just don't know? What's on,
The other side of the door
When you're walking out, talk about it
Girl I hope you understand
What I'm tryna just can't go on
Pretending that we get along
Girl how you not gonna see it?
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you it's me.
I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh)
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye
I can tell she was trying really hard to hold back the tears I was about to try to comfort her but I knew she doesn't want me to touch her right now so I just sat there awkwardly Why is it taking me so long to end this? I wanted this for a while didn't I? I wanted to break it off cause it wasn't fair to be with her knowing I didn't love her as much as I should. I do but not as much as I love Casey "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to make you sad the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you…that's why I didn't tell you sooner but I couldn't stall any longer you know we grew apart we can't keep letting people think we're the perfect couple anymore cause in reality we stopped being a couple all together a while ago…I know in the beginning we never thought we get tired of each other or grow apart or anything but-"
"That was in the beginning…and this is now"
"Yeah" she started crying I pulled her towards me letting her soak my shirt from her tears. I waited until she calm down. I tried really hard to hold back my own tears I hate making the people I care about cry and it started to sink in that we weren't together anymore. I felt…relieved, sad, mad, and warned out.
Listen to your heart
Girl you know,
We should be apart, baby I
I just can't do it
I, I just can't do it
Listen to your heart
Girl you know,
We should be apart, baby I
I just can't do it
And sometimes it makes me wanna cry
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh [4x]
Do you hear me crying?
Oh, oh, oh [4x]
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you it's me.
I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh)
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you it's me.
I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh)
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye
She finally calmed down "Why do you love her more than me?" she mumbled but I didn't think I heard her right…or hoping I wasn't hearing her right.
"What?"
"You heard me"
"No I didn't…can you say that again you were kinda mumbled into my shoulder"
"Why do you love her more than me?" she moved her head so she can say it loud and clear I tensed up.
"Love who? I don't love anyone you know that" I smiled nervously
She glared at me "Bullshit you know who I'm talking about" I didn't say anything she huffed in annoyance and frustration "Casey"
"What about Casey?" Again I know I'm just making it worse but I'm not ready to say it out loud to my girl…ex-girlfriend just yet or at all if I can help it
"You love her you idiot! I know you do so stop denying it! Stop lying to me and trying to protect me ok? Just stop!" she closed her eyes and tried to calm down then opened them back up "Just tell me why"
I looked away from her "I don't know what your talking about"
She got up and stood in front of me "You can't even look at me. You don't even like kissing me anymore…you used to"
That got me to look at her "I do too!"
She shook her head "No you don't at first you did but then you hardly kissed me anymore and when you did it was either because you felt obligated to or cause of Casey"
"Why would I feel obligated to? You were my girlfriend…and what do you mean cause of Casey?"
"You said we drifted a while ago we stopped kissing less and less but sometimes people would ask if we were together anymore cause we weren't that affection towards each other anymore" Ok I had to give her that one "And with Casey…every time she was in the room you would always ignore me the only time you would kiss me when she was around is when you two got into an argument about something. And you wanted to find a way to hurt her so you kissed me"
"That's not true" Shit she's right…I didn't even realize I did that though until now
She kept on talking like she haven't even heard me "We could be making out starting to get really heated up but as soon as she comes into the room or calls you on your cell phone you automatically ignore me and give all your attention to her. You hate all of her boyfriends and so protective of her" Again she was right about that to but I'm not going to admit it out loud at least but I can't deny it either it would be pointless cause we both know its true "We're practically the same people same interests, same morals, never failed at school ever, love kids, and doesn't take shit from anyone so why do you love her more than you love me?!"
"Do you really want to know why?!" I snapped at her I know I shouldn't but its an automatic reaction when someone yells at me that and I know she needs this right now we both do to get it off our chests "Maybe because she's more laid back than you she knows how to have fun, she doesn't make me jump through hoops that are impossible to go through and still say its not enough. She excepts me for who I am and doesn't try to make me into this perfect guy that I can't live up to in ever. She keeps me on my toes that's for sure but that's it she doesn't make me feel like shit if I don't prove I care about her all the time. She knows I do and that's enough for her. Why can't it be enough for you?! Why can't I ever do anything right in your eyes?! She doesn't try to force me to be better she makes me want to be better. She comforts me when I need it. Yes you are the same in some ways but your complete opposites in others" I started panting after my little speech.
She raised an eyebrow "Feel better?"
"Yeah…thanks" she laughed a little
"No problem…so friends?" she hold her hand out for me to shake. I grabbed it and pulled her against me so I can give her a hug.
"Friends"
"You need to tell her you know" I nodded and pulled away
"I know…but not now gotta take baby steps Dar baby steps"
"Coward"
"Hey!" she just laughed at me "Unbelievable we just broke up and you call me a coward for not going after her afterwards"
She shrugged "Well you are" Damn it I hate it when other people are right of course being me I wouldn't admit defeat…not out loud at least my ego can only take so much.
THE END