Intro: Hey guys this is a new series I've started called The Office,

(no it has nothing to do with the TV show :3) Mostly about the lives

of Sephiroth, Genesis, Zack, Angreal, and all those other people working

at ShinRa. Have fun reading it, as I had fun writing it.

The esteemed General Sephiroth, was seated at his desk in his large office.

With his chin resting in his left palm, he stared up at the ceiling idly tapping his pencil

on said desk. He was bored. Very bored. That bastard President Shinra had not sent him

on a mission in days, so he sat there drowning in paperwork but not lifting a finger to address

it. That's what the secretarial pool was paid for. Thinking on this gave him an idea.

Secretaries. The cure for office boredom. He tapped the intercom button. "Send me ms. Harrison

please." He requested. "Yes, General." came the crackly voice through the speaker. The Shinra

secretarial pool had secretaries in every flavor. They were all bitches, but they had their uses, in

and out of office. There was a tap at the door, and after he had authorized entry with a brisk "enter,"

the tapper did so. Slim, buxom ms. Harrison was wearing her usual uniform of unbelievably tight black capris, white sleeveless turtleneck top and black pumps. Her hair hung loosely around her shoulders,

and she had a flirtatious look in her eye. "Ms. Harrison would you come assist me with these papers?"

he asked. Of course, General." she replied. She could tell by the way he was smiling-smirking really-

that what he wanted was not help with papers, and was not surprised when, after reaching he side,

she felt his hand snaking over her derrière.

2nd class SOLDIER Zack Fair leaned back in his swivel chair, moving it from side to side with his foot while he whistled 'On top of Spaghetti,' the tune that was stuck in his head at that moment. He was pretty bored. His own paperwork was finished, thanks to a Miss Honda, who for once had managed to do her job in between throwing herself at the uninterested Zack. While the blonde miss Honda was attractive, with

her big brown eyes and first class figure, she had the most annoying personality he knew, as well as being incredibly clingy. He had it from Reno that she was in the habit of trying to turn one-night-stands into

lifetime relationships. Zack avoided encouraging such girls. He glanced at the clock. An hour till lunch break. Deciding that he would rather not spend it alone, he pressed the intercom button and asked the crackly voice through the speaker to be connected to General Sephiroth. "Yes?" came Sephiroth's voice, which sounded rather muffled. "Hey Seph you wanna go drinking at break? I heard that new bar around the block has a great selection." As Zack waited for the answer he was sure he heard a female moan from the other end. Sephiroth, that dog. he thought with a grin. "Alright." Sephiroth agreed, switching the intercom off. Zack leaned back in his chair and continued swiveling. He decided to invite Reno as well. Reno had no office, (actually Zack didn't either, he was merely filling in for Angeal while he was away,) so he pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number, drumming his fingers on the desk as it rang. "Yo." came Reno's voice

from the other end of the line. "Hey Reno wanna go out for drinks at lunchtime? Me and Seph are gonna head over to that new bar." "Sure man sounds great, count me in." Answered Reno. "Cool, see ya at lunch."

said Zack, hanging up. Reno was relatively new to ShinRa. Even though he was a Turk, not a SOLDIER,

he and Zack had become friends pretty quickly. Zack considered asking Genesis to come along, but decided that Sephiroth would do so. While Sephiroth tolerated Zack, saying that he was "The most intelligent and agreeable of all the 2nds," Zack doubted that the esteemed general would go drinking with him unless accompanied by another 1st, namely Genesis or Angeal, or both. Suddenly, Zack jumped as his phone vibrated loudly on the desk where it lay. He picked it up and looked at it. 1 new message. Upon pressing the 'read' button he saw that it was from Angeal. Zack, TWO beers NO MORE for you puppy.

Zack scowled. He supposed Sephiroth had ratted on him. Oh well, two was better than none.

Genesis Rhapodos sat in his officer staring numbly at the mounds of paperwork that stared back at him.

How did it get this bad? He wondered. He needed help, but he shrank from the idea of having one of those slithering, gossiping, tittering and generally bitchy secretaries helping him. Still, this was not something he could do alone, or at least so he told himself. It was then that he remembered something. He tapped the intercom button. "Yes, Sir?" asked the crackly voice. "Don't we have a new male secretary?" inquired Genesis. "Yes, Mr. Harris, sir." the crackly voice replied. "Good. Send him here please." said Genesis happily. Male company. Just what he wanted. He felt a pang of pity for this Mr. Harris, one lone male in the sea of females that was the secretarial pool. He did not have to wait long, for soon there was a light tapping t the door. "Come in!" called Genesis cheerily. The door opened and a tall, slender man entered.

He had hair that was a mixture of red and brown, and the stylishness of his attire indicated that he had put a lot of time and thought into it. He walked over to the desk, and Genesis noticed that he had an odd way of walking. For one the he put a lot of swing into his hips. As he reached the desk he leaned over it so that he face was rather close to Genesis'. "What can I do for you sir?" asked the man in a syrupy voice. "W-what?"

Stammered a confused and disbelieving Genesis. "I said…" said Harris, slinking over to the side of the desk where Genesis say. "What…can I do for you…sir?" he repeated, moving his hand to rub Genesis' shoulder softly. Genesis, who till now had been to horrified to utter, regained speech. "Gah! G-g-get away from me!" he shrieked, nearly falling out of his chair as he scrambled to get away. Harris looked confused.

"But sir, aren't you…?" he asked. "No! I'm not! That's repulsive! Get out of my office!" Genesis yelped in reply. The man frowned, and slunk dejectedly out, his hips still waving. Gasping with relief, Genesis wheeled slowly back to his desk, and pressed the intercom button once more. "Please send me a female secretary." he asked the crackly voice. "Which one sir?" asked the voice. "It does not matter as long as she is over 40!" replied Genesis moodily. "Yes sir." replied the voice. Genesis leaned back in his chair and sighed loudly. Hopefully the woman would attend to business at her age. Soon there was a knock at the door. "Come in," said he. The door opened and a woman who he was sure had to be at least sixty sauntered in. "What can I do fer ya sugah?" she asked with a broad wink. Genesis buried his face in his hands with a groan. What was the DEAL? "please…just file those papers…please!" he gasped wearily. That's it. He thought. I'm scarred for life.

"Specify what you want them to do over the intercom next time." Sephiroth advised his friend,

who had called him complaining in a loud voice about the promiscuity of every single secretary in

at ShinRa. "When you don't specify they think you want something more personal." stated Sephiroth calmly. Genesis sighed. "I guess I was to busy specifying what kind of secretary I wanted instead of what I wanted them to do." he said morosely. "Do you want to come drinking later?" asked Sephiroth, changing the subject.

"Sure…"

As the four men settled down at the bar and ordered their respective drinks, Zack wasted no time in turning

on Sephiroth. "So I heard you thumping around in your office with I believe a miss Harrison?" he jibed,

elbowing Sephiroth in the ribs companionably. Sephiroth merely smirked. "Hey, how could you tell who it was?" inquired Reno of Zack. "Oh I know the distinct sounds all the ShinRa secretaries make during times of passion." Said Zack, wiggling his eyebrows. "Let me get this straight." Said Reno as their drinks arrived. "You saying that you have been with every secretary in ShinRa?" Zack gazed up at the ceiling. "Ah…well, most," said he. "Some." Sephiroth corrected him, knocking back his drink. "Okay okay some." said Zack,

rubbing the back of his head. "Personally I think its revolting." Stated Genesis haughtily. "That's because you are homosexual." Sephiroth informed him. "Gah! I am not!" exclaimed Genesis hotly. "I'm just not a slut like you all. In fact," he said, holding up his glass and watching the liquid sparkling in it. "I plan to save the bulk of my lovemaking for my my lovely wife, whoever she may be." Zack blinked. "Wife? Really?" he asked, surprised. Sephiroth snorted. "Genesis, I think we both know that neither of us is the marrying type."

Said he. "Speak for yourself," huffed Genesis. "Sounds like a buncha trouble to me." muttered Reno. "I dunno, maybe there is something in that." mused Zack. "Of course there is." answered Genesis.

"By the way look out for that new secretary Harris. He is frighteningly gay." He advised. "Chyeah found that out," said Zack with a shudder. Sephiroth smirked. "Genesis had quite a lot of trouble with secretaries today." he explained. "Oh shut up." grumbled Genesis, ordering another drink.

Later that afternoon Sephiroth logged in to the company website to check for any missions. Rufus Shinra had introduced the website a few weeks ago to try and improve office efficiency. It displayed office news and bulletins, it had forums and polls, as well as a 'missions inbox.' Sephiroth only stayed on briefly for it also had an instant messenger which did not have an 'invisible' option. This meant that a lot of annoying 2nds and 3rds would bombard him with greetings whenever he was on. there's one now. He thought irritably. Oh wait, its Genesis. He clicked on the box to see what the redhead wished to discuss with him.

Genesis R. (1st): Hey. Any missions?

G. Sephiroth (1st): No. You?

Genesis R. (1st): Yep. I hear old Shinra sr. is pissed at you.

G. Sephiroth (1st): …why?

Genesis R.(1st): Something to do with a rumor about you seducing his wife.

G. Sephiroth (1st): Oh really.

Genesis R.(1st): Is it true?

G. Sephiroth(1st): No. She is a psychotic bitch.

Genesis R.(1st) I see. Well I guess you just have to wait till it blows over.

G. Sephiroth(1st): I suppose I must.

It was a perturbed mood that he signed off, seeing several 3rds waiting to chat with him.

Humming a cheerful tune Zack turned the key in the lock of Angeal's office. Having completed a days work he was ready for the relaxation that awaited him at home. As he headed for the door, he nearly ran into Sephiroth, who was emerging from his own office. "Oh hey Seph, headed home?" Zack greeted. Sephiroth nodded. Zack was the only 2nd who could call him by a nickname. "Cool. Hey Seph…" Zack began.

"What do you think about, you know, this whole marriage thing?" asked Zack, sticking his hands in his pockets. Sephiroth, recognizing this as a young man seeking Answers to Life's Many Questions, was thankful that he, unlike Angeal, did not have a protégé. "All I can say," He said, "Is make sure you are completely ready before taking such a step." Zack nodded. "Thanks Seph, see ya tomorrow."

"Goodnight Zack."