Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of that…blah, blah, blah. I also
don't own the tune to "The Real Slim Shady". Now that we all know what I
don't own, let's move on to what I do.
Note: Ever wondered what would happen if Harry Potter turned into an Eminem
wanna be? If you have even an ounce of sanity u probably haven't. But, I
have none, so I give the world my creation, "The Real Harry Potter" which is
a parody of "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem.
"The Real Harry Potter"
By Michelle Riddle
It started out as a normal morning at Hogwarts. No one could have guessed
the terror that was to come. The peaceful breakfast in the Great Hall was
soon horribly disrupted.
Harry Potter suddenly jumped on top of the table, much to everyone's
astonishment. With his arms crossed on his chest and his hands in the "west
side" symbol, his appearance began to drastically transform. His hair
magically shortened and turned from black, to bleached blond. His robes
changed into a white tee shirt and extremely baggy black jeans. A microphone
appeared in one hand. He stood still for a moment, letting everyone take it
all in. Then, he began rapping:
May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please, will the
real Harry Potter raise his wand up. I repeat, will the real Harry Potter
raise his wand up……we're gonna have a problem here…..
Y'all act like you've never seen a wizard before
Eyes popping outta your heads
Like your kid's favorite gold fish just floated up dead
And you've gotta switch it just like before
So little Suzy won't be traumatized
Throwing her toys at the furniture (Waaaaaaah!)
I'm back with the…
"AHHHHH stop, no stop, please don't
He's not going to say what we think he is
Is he?"
And the Dark Lord said…
I'm gonna kill you, you idiot, you're as good as dead
Gonna be locked in my basement! (Haha)
Gryffindor witches love Harry Potter
Giggle, giggle, giggle, it's Harry Potter!
"See his scar? Look at him!
He's always walking around, saving our butts
From the wrath of you-know-who"
"Yeah, and he's so cute too!"
Yeah, I most likely got a brain cell or two knocked loose
But really, it's no worse then what goes on in the Potions classroom
Some times I wanna get on the Prophet and cut loose
But can't, but it's cool for Rita Skeeter to lie, closing in on me like a
noose
"Can I have a word with u? Just a few words?
And if I'm lucky you might give me a little tear"
And that's the message we present to our little kids
And expect them not to know what the Dark Lord's real name is
Of course they're going to know all about that
By the time they hit Hogwarts to make their grades
They've got the Witch's Weekly, don't they?
We ain't nothing but Wizards
Well, some of us resemble lizards
Cursing other people into chicken gizzards.
But if we can fool the muggles and pull other hoax
Then there's no reason why Fred and George Weasley can't play a few jokes
And if you feel like I feel, I've got the antidote
Witches wave your Quidditch rose, sing my chorus, here it goes…
I'm Harry Potter, yes, I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
Cause I'm Harry Potter, yes, I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
Draco Malfoy don't gots to have a sob story to be popular
Well I do, so…so just leave me alone, okay! (sniff sniff)
Do you think I really care about the Yule Ball?
Most of the girls here can't stomach me, let alone dance with me!
"But Harry, what if they did, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you professors can play tricks just to get me here
So you can make me a fool with Parvati in front of the whole school.
Cedric Diggory, better switch me partners!
So I can slobber over Cho Chang, nothing could be worse
Then reliving that time I asked her out, but Diggory got to her first
Little witch, blew me of easy as that, you see
"Yeah, you're cute but I'm already going with Cedric, tee-hee"
I should try to get my act together and learn how to be
Then no one would ever know how much it really sucks to be me
I'm sick of all you dark wizards
All you do is try to destroy me
So I have been sent here to annoy you
And there are a million followers
Who look up to me, who try and just press their luck like me
Who stress like me, who play, curse, and charm like me
It just might be, close to the real scary thing, but not quite me………..
I'm Harry Potter yes I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
Cause I'm Harry Potter, yes, I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
I'm like a headache to listen to
Because I'm only whining at you things
You'll laugh at with your friends inside your dorm room.
The only difference is I haven't got the brains to hide it
From y'all, not enough sense to be false or conceal anything at all
I just jump on the table and spill it
And whether I like to admit it, I mess up worse than 90% of u wizards out
there
Then I wonder why does
Snape tear me up so much in his class room
It's funny, the way I'm going when I'm 30
I'll be the only one nursing an ego that's still hurting
Crying to a psychiatrist about my childhood traumas
And I'm yelping but this whole bag of loony pills isn't helping
In every single person there's a Harry Potter smirkin'
He's in u, isn't that super? The part or your mind boring you into a stupor
Or he'll be on the Quidditch field, practicing, screaming I've found the
snitch!
With his broom pointed down and streaming towards the ground like he's got
an itch
So would the real Potter raise his wand up
Wave your hand at the crowd and say wassup
And announce I am proud to be outta my mind and outta control
Just one more time, scream if you can, here we go……
I'm Harry Potter, yes, I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
Cause I'm Harry Potter, yes, I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
Cause I'm Harry Potter, yes, I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
Cause I'm Harry Potter, yes, I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
Haha, guess there's a Harry Potter in all of us (unfortunately)….. Curse it,
let's all raise it up
Hope you guys enjoyed my parody. Please review! I love to get feed back.
Thanks!
~*~Michelle Riddle
don't own the tune to "The Real Slim Shady". Now that we all know what I
don't own, let's move on to what I do.
Note: Ever wondered what would happen if Harry Potter turned into an Eminem
wanna be? If you have even an ounce of sanity u probably haven't. But, I
have none, so I give the world my creation, "The Real Harry Potter" which is
a parody of "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem.
"The Real Harry Potter"
By Michelle Riddle
It started out as a normal morning at Hogwarts. No one could have guessed
the terror that was to come. The peaceful breakfast in the Great Hall was
soon horribly disrupted.
Harry Potter suddenly jumped on top of the table, much to everyone's
astonishment. With his arms crossed on his chest and his hands in the "west
side" symbol, his appearance began to drastically transform. His hair
magically shortened and turned from black, to bleached blond. His robes
changed into a white tee shirt and extremely baggy black jeans. A microphone
appeared in one hand. He stood still for a moment, letting everyone take it
all in. Then, he began rapping:
May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please, will the
real Harry Potter raise his wand up. I repeat, will the real Harry Potter
raise his wand up……we're gonna have a problem here…..
Y'all act like you've never seen a wizard before
Eyes popping outta your heads
Like your kid's favorite gold fish just floated up dead
And you've gotta switch it just like before
So little Suzy won't be traumatized
Throwing her toys at the furniture (Waaaaaaah!)
I'm back with the…
"AHHHHH stop, no stop, please don't
He's not going to say what we think he is
Is he?"
And the Dark Lord said…
I'm gonna kill you, you idiot, you're as good as dead
Gonna be locked in my basement! (Haha)
Gryffindor witches love Harry Potter
Giggle, giggle, giggle, it's Harry Potter!
"See his scar? Look at him!
He's always walking around, saving our butts
From the wrath of you-know-who"
"Yeah, and he's so cute too!"
Yeah, I most likely got a brain cell or two knocked loose
But really, it's no worse then what goes on in the Potions classroom
Some times I wanna get on the Prophet and cut loose
But can't, but it's cool for Rita Skeeter to lie, closing in on me like a
noose
"Can I have a word with u? Just a few words?
And if I'm lucky you might give me a little tear"
And that's the message we present to our little kids
And expect them not to know what the Dark Lord's real name is
Of course they're going to know all about that
By the time they hit Hogwarts to make their grades
They've got the Witch's Weekly, don't they?
We ain't nothing but Wizards
Well, some of us resemble lizards
Cursing other people into chicken gizzards.
But if we can fool the muggles and pull other hoax
Then there's no reason why Fred and George Weasley can't play a few jokes
And if you feel like I feel, I've got the antidote
Witches wave your Quidditch rose, sing my chorus, here it goes…
I'm Harry Potter, yes, I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
Cause I'm Harry Potter, yes, I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
Draco Malfoy don't gots to have a sob story to be popular
Well I do, so…so just leave me alone, okay! (sniff sniff)
Do you think I really care about the Yule Ball?
Most of the girls here can't stomach me, let alone dance with me!
"But Harry, what if they did, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you professors can play tricks just to get me here
So you can make me a fool with Parvati in front of the whole school.
Cedric Diggory, better switch me partners!
So I can slobber over Cho Chang, nothing could be worse
Then reliving that time I asked her out, but Diggory got to her first
Little witch, blew me of easy as that, you see
"Yeah, you're cute but I'm already going with Cedric, tee-hee"
I should try to get my act together and learn how to be
Then no one would ever know how much it really sucks to be me
I'm sick of all you dark wizards
All you do is try to destroy me
So I have been sent here to annoy you
And there are a million followers
Who look up to me, who try and just press their luck like me
Who stress like me, who play, curse, and charm like me
It just might be, close to the real scary thing, but not quite me………..
I'm Harry Potter yes I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
Cause I'm Harry Potter, yes, I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
I'm like a headache to listen to
Because I'm only whining at you things
You'll laugh at with your friends inside your dorm room.
The only difference is I haven't got the brains to hide it
From y'all, not enough sense to be false or conceal anything at all
I just jump on the table and spill it
And whether I like to admit it, I mess up worse than 90% of u wizards out
there
Then I wonder why does
Snape tear me up so much in his class room
It's funny, the way I'm going when I'm 30
I'll be the only one nursing an ego that's still hurting
Crying to a psychiatrist about my childhood traumas
And I'm yelping but this whole bag of loony pills isn't helping
In every single person there's a Harry Potter smirkin'
He's in u, isn't that super? The part or your mind boring you into a stupor
Or he'll be on the Quidditch field, practicing, screaming I've found the
snitch!
With his broom pointed down and streaming towards the ground like he's got
an itch
So would the real Potter raise his wand up
Wave your hand at the crowd and say wassup
And announce I am proud to be outta my mind and outta control
Just one more time, scream if you can, here we go……
I'm Harry Potter, yes, I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
Cause I'm Harry Potter, yes, I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
Cause I'm Harry Potter, yes, I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
Cause I'm Harry Potter, yes, I'm the real Potter
All you other scar wearers are just aggravating
So won't the real Harry Potter raise his wand up, raise his wand up, raise
his wand up
Haha, guess there's a Harry Potter in all of us (unfortunately)….. Curse it,
let's all raise it up
Hope you guys enjoyed my parody. Please review! I love to get feed back.
Thanks!
~*~Michelle Riddle