this is for Kelly, cos she's awesome and deserves it. love you!
Remember When We Were Happy?
Chapter One -Sunny and Merry
Meredith Grey swallowed, she hated that she had to do this but she knew it was for the best. The door in front of her was the door to an apartment, just one block from Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, where Meredith's current girlfriend, Addison, went.
Meredith raised her hand and knocked, she could hear a lot of talking and laughing going on inside, Addison's roommates and some friends, Meredith gathered. Meredith swallowed and ran a hand through her hair, she had to look good, all of Addison's rich med school friends were twenty four or twenty five, like Addison, but Meredith was only nineteen. And even though Addison told her constantly that as they grew older their age difference didn't mater, Meredith still felt inferior and shy about it.
The door opened to reveal a tall blonde woman Meredith recognised form a photo as Savannah, one of Addison's two roommates.
"Hey, uhh, is Addison in?" Meredith asked,
Savannah smirked, "You must be the famous Meredith." Meredith nodded, blushing, "I'm Sav, come on in."
Meredith walked into the apartment and looked around what seemed to be the living area. There was a small but open kitchenette to her left, and ahead there was a big preloved couch and a mismatched armchair. These people might all have huge trust funds, but they knew better then to blow it all on things they didn't need.
"Hey guys, this is Meredith," Sav said, "Oh, Addie's just gone down the street to pick up some pizza with Naomi."
Meredith nodded, "Uhh, hey." She said holding her hand up in a short wave,
"Oh right," Sav laughed as she sat back down on the floor, leaning against the wall and a guy Meredith took to be her boyfriend. "This is Weiss," the guy she was next to, "Derek," a boy with a cute smile and more product in his hair then Meredith even owned, "Mark," he sat on the couch next to Derek drinking a beer and smirking at Meredith with a gaze that made her feel slightly uncomfortable; like he was undressing her with his eyes, or imagining her with Addison, "and Sam." Sam smiled at her and Meredith blushed, he was attractive in a cute nerdy way, he had thick rimmed glasses and Meredith thought they looked sweet on him.
"Addison didn't tell us you were coming." Sam told her as Meredith sat down in the empty armchair,
"She doesn't know." Meredith said,
Mark was laughing and Meredith turned to him, he grinned at her, "She'll kill you for sitting in her chair."
Meredith smirked, "Addison tends to let me do things no one else is allowed to."
"I bet she does," Mark said with a suggestive grin,
"Shut up Mark." Sav groaned, "You'll have to excuse Mark, he's a man whore."
"What?" Mark defended, "I am not."
"Trust me," Derek grinned, "I've known Mark practically my whole life; he's a whore."
Meredith laughed with the others as the door opened and an African American girl entered carrying two pizza boxes, "Naomi!" cheered Sav,
"Pizza!" Cheered the boys,
Naomi laughed, "Here you go boys- Oh, hey, I didn't know anyone else was coming."
"Nai, guess who this is, guess." Sav grinned,
"Meredith." Addison gasped from the door, "Oh my God. What are you doing here?"
Meredith couldn't help but grin; she jumped up and ran to her, jumping into Addison's waiting arms in a hug, "I missed you." Meredith smiled, her legs wrapped around Addison's waist, her arms around her neck,
"Oh, I've missed you too." Addison breathed, Meredith lent in and kissed her softly, Addison moaned and kissed back, her arms tightening around Meredith's waist.
Their was a wolf whistle from behind them and Meredith jumped down as Addison glared at Mark, "Piss off Mark,"
Mark just smirked at them, Addison turned to Meredith, "I'll show my room,"
The two moved quickly down a small hallway and into a room, Addison pressed Meredith against her door and kissed her deeply, Meredith gasped and moaned but pushed Addison off her,
"No wait,"
"What's wrong Merry?" Addison asked as she kissed along Meredith's neck,
Meredith moaned, "Ohh, God…" She pushed Addison away, "I need to talk to you."
"Talking can wait," Addison murmured, kissing Meredith again and walking her back until they fell on the bed, she straddle Meredith's body, pinning her to the bed, then Addison sat up and pulled off her shirt,
Meredith stared up at her and tears threatened to swell in her eyes as she felt the pin prick pain she always got before crying. She nodded and pulled Addison back down to her, "Talking can wait," she agreed, before pressing her lips to Addison's,
The two made love for the first time in weeks, in months, it was soft and gentle and sweet, Meredith came with tears of such a divine pleasure she couldn't imagine life ever being better then that moment.
Afterwards Meredith gave in to letting Addison just hold her, the red head's perfectly manicured nails ghosting gently up and down her naked back.
"I love you," Addison whispered, "God Merry, honey, I love you so much."
Meredith looked up into Addison's crystal blue eyes, "I know Sunny, I know. I- I love you too." Soft tears filled Meredith's eyes, "I'm in love with you Sunny- Addison, I am so in love with you." She started to cry softly,
"Hey," Addison murmured, "Hey it's ok, everything's alright, come here." She pulled Meredith closer to her and pressed a kiss to her shoulder, "It's ok baby, it's ok."
"It's not Addison, it's not okay."
"What's wrong?" Addison whispered, "Huh? Why are you crying?"
"Because I don't want to leave you," Meredith cried, "I don't Addison, I love you and I don't want to but- but-" She couldn't finished, she just cried into Addison neck as Addison held her close and rubbed her back soothingly,
"Baby you have college, you'll have to go back, you know that."
"No," cried Meredith, "I don't mean, I don't mean go back. I mean I- I don't want to leave you Sunny, I don't want to leave you."
Addison frowned, "Are- Meredith, are you… Are you breaking up with me?"
Meredith cried and nodded into Addison's neck, "I don't want to Addison, I don't. Because I love you, so so much, but I can't do it anymore, I can't. Long distance was ok when we could make regular trips and meet in Massachusetts but Addison it's not working anymore, it's not working and it breaks my heart to think of life with out you, but I can't live like this anymore."
They were sitting up in the bed now; Addison detached form Meredith, her heart shattering. She couldn't look Meredith in the eye as tears slowly dripped down her face. Meredith was crying desperately, "Say something, please, please just say something."
Addison didn't speak at first, she just cried and then gently wiped her eyes with a tissue before turning back to Meredith, "I'll transfer." She said suddenly and abruptly, "I'll transfer to Dartmouth."
Meredith looked Addison in the eye, "I can't ask that of you Addison."
"You're not asking." Addison said, "Meredith I love you, I would do anything for you."
"Addison," Meredith cried, "Addison you can't do this. You can't just transfer."
"I can Meredith, I can transfer, and when I'm done I'll do my internship at Mass Gen, I don't care if I have to suffer under your mother everyday, I'll do it."
"Don't make this harder. Please Addison, don't make it harder."
"I don't want to- I love you Meredith, I'm in love with you."
Meredith looked at Addison, they both had tears once more streaming down their faces; "I'm in love with you too." Meredith whispered, "I'm so in love with you Addison." She lent forward and kissed her softly, "I love you."
"Show me," Addison whispered, "Show me how much you love me."
"I will, oh God Addison I will, I'll show you." Meredith rolled them so she was on top of Addison, "I love you."
Meredith kept repeating the words and Addison whispered and whimpered them back as the couple made love again and again until hours later they fell asleep in each others arms.
When Meredith woke the next morning she slipped out of the bed, and quietly dressed. Sitting at Addison's desk Meredith found a blank piece of paper and a pen.
Sunny… Addison, my Addison,
I want you to have this, to show I'll always love you, no matter what you do, no matter how much you hate me; I'll always love you, because you're the love of my life. Don't transfer, and don't follow me. Please Addison, stay here and become the doctor you want to be. Move on, find some hot guy that women can only dream of and fall in love and get married.
I'll call you. Not today, not tomorrow, but when I feel like enough time has passed, enough for you to have moved on from me, to have met someone else, I'll call you and maybe we can be friends. But if you don't agree to that call my apartment and tell me in a message, I'll get it later today.
I'm so sorry for this Addison. I truly love you.
Your Merry xoxo
On top of the note she placed a ring, one that had belonged to her grandmother, the only family Meredith ever really liked. Meredith moved back to the bed and pressed a soft kiss to Addison's lips, "Goodbye Addison." She whispered, "I love you."
Addison stirred, "Merry?" She mumbled,
"Shh, go back to sleep baby." Meredith stroked back some of Addison hair, "go back to sleep."
"Kay," Addison murmured, rolling over and drifting back into sleep. Meredith watched her for a moment, tears in her eyes before she stood up and left the room, leaving the apartment quietly and quickly.
Four Years Later….
Addison grinned at Derek. He was so sweet, there were flowers all through their house, and the room's light source came from only candles. It was the third anniversary since the day they were married and Derek had done all this for her.
Champagne, a cooked meal and this beautiful setting, Addison was reminded of why she married this man.
"Oh Derek," She sighed with a grin, "This is amazing," She moved to him and kissed him softly, "I knew I kept you around for something,"
Derek chuckled, and he pulled out her chair, "Shall we?"
"Of course," Addison sat down and beamed as Derek poured her a glass of champagne, then left to bring out their food.
Once he came back and sat down, the two started to eat their meal, "Oh," Moaned Addison, "This is gorgeous,"
Derek smiled at her with twinkling eyes, "You're gorgeous,"
Addison was about to say something back when the phone rang, Derek stood to get it but Addison sat him down, "No distractions, we don't want to get called into the hospital."
"No we don't." Smiled Derek, sitting back down,
But the phone continued to ring and ring until finally Addison gave up and stood to get it,
"Hello," She said impatiently,
"Addison," The voice on the other end was breathy and spoke in a relieved sigh, "I was starting to think I had the wrong number."
Addison swallowed, "Meredith?" she whispered, walking away from Derek's curious gaze,
"Hey Sunny," Meredith grinned, "How are you?"
"God, Meredith," Tears filled Addison's eyes, "I'm- I'm good. I'm fine. Happy. I'm happy."
"You deserve to be happy." Meredith whispered, "After what I did to you."
"Don't be stupid Meredith, I could have chased you." Addison spoke, "But, well. It's in the past now isn't it."
"Yeah."
"What about you? Are you happy?"
Meredith chuckled, "Not so much… But I'm happy to speak to you again, to hear your voice."
"Me too, Merry,"
Meredith sighed softly with a faint smile on her face, "No one calls me Merry anymore."
"What about your-"
"Grandma died." Meredith whispered, "Last year."
"Oh Meredith, I'm so sorry."
"It's ok."
Addison moved to the stairs and sat on them, "If people don't call you Merry what do they call you?"
Meredith laughed, "I get Death now, me and my friend, we're Death and Die; we have great adventures."
"What kind of adventures?"
Meredith laughed, "Ones that a hot shot doctor wouldn't approve off."
"I'm a resident, that's hardly a hot shot doctor."
"A forth year resident. A doctor is a doctor anyway Sunny." Meredith grinned, "More then I can say."
"How much longer do you have?" Addison asked,
"A few more years,"
"Wow." Addison whispered, "Weren't you in high school yesterday?"
Meredith laughed, "Very funny Dr. Montgomery, best joke I've ever heard."
"Actually Meredith… It's not Montgomery."
"Seriously? Dr. Forbes-Montgomery?"
"No Mere I uh, I use my married name."
"Married? You got married? Oh Addison that's amazing! How long?"
"Three years today." Addison smiled,
"Congratulations! Oh, I'm keeping you away aren't I? That's why you weren't answering I'm keeping you from your…"
"Husband." Laughed Addison, "His name is-"
"Uhbuhbuh!" Meredith said, "I can't know his name, it's weird."
"Weird?"
"Well would you like me to tell you all about my girlfriend?"
"No!" Exclaimed Addison,
"Exactly." Meredith smirked, "Now go, get back to your hubby. Tell him I'm sorry for tearing you away."
"Ok."
"Good."
"Bye Meredith,"
"Bye Addison," Meredith murmured, "Oh and Sunny?"
"Yeah?"
Meredith smiled softly, "I don't have a girlfriend."
Addison laughed, "Why not, a hot girl like you could get anyone you want,"
"I guess no-one wants the girl that's still in love with her ex." Meredith shrugged, "Have fun with your husband Sunny, happy anniversary."
"Yeah… thanks." Addison was frozen, and it took her a minute after Meredith hung up to take the phone away from her ear and walk slowly back to the dining room.
"Who was it?" Derek asked, he turned and frowned, "Addison? Are you ok?"
"What? Yeah, I'm fine." Addison gave a fake smile,
"You're crying."
"Am I?" Addison raised a hand to her face and saw she was crying, "Oh."
Derek moved to her and pulled her into a hug, "What's wrong Addie? Who was on the phone?"
"Just… Just an old friend I haven't heard from in a while." Addison whispered, "I miss her."
Derek held his wife and rubbed her back soothingly, "Tell me about her. When did you meet?"
"Our mothers worked together… We became really close but then I left, I moved… we fell out of touch." Addison pulled back and looked up at Derek, "Take me upstairs, I need you to hold me."
"Ok," Derek pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, "I'll hold you."
Two Years Later….
Meredith woke to the sound of her cell phone vibrating against the wooden floor. She groaned, perhaps going to a bar after the mixer wasn't such a good idea.
Getting off the couch and wrapping her naked body in a blanket Meredith picked up her phone and answered, "Hello?"
"Are you busy?"
Meredith frowned, "Sunny?"
"Yeah. God Meredith, I've done a stupid thing, a horrible thing." Addison said, "I can't I just. Meredith he's gone. He's bought land in Seattle and he's moved half way across the country and he won't answer my calls, and even if he did I'd have no idea what to say."
"Wait, slow down, what's happened? Who's moved away?"
"My husband! Meredith my husband, he's left, he's gone. He's been ignoring me for a year and now he's gone!"
"He just left?"
"No! That's the thing Meredith, I- I- God I can't believe what I've done, I've been sleeping with… I cheated on him. And he caught me and now he's gone."
"Oh Sunny," Meredith sighed, "Oh…"
"It's his best friend Meredith. His best friend fell in love with me and I was just so lonely, I was so lonely and my husband was never there, he was at the hospital, so I gave in Meredith, I needed the attention I was going insane! And I gave in and I slept with the friend. We were caught and oh God Meredith, what if I loose him for ever? What if he never comes back?"
"He'll come back. Anyone would be crazy to leave you."
"You did." Addison said, "You left me."
Meredith winced, "I know Sunny, I know. And that haunts me everyday, but this is your husband. He loves you. He'll come back."
"But what if he doesn't?"
Meredith sighed, "Do you want him to come back?"
"I don't know Meredith, I just, I mean I love them. I love them both so much. I want him back but maybe… maybe he's not the one? Maybe his-"
"Well until you work out what you want then stay there and let your husband clear his head."
Addison sniffed, "Ok. Yeah, thanks Meredith. Thank you so much."
"It's ok Sunny, bye."
"Bye Merry."
Meredith hung up and turned around to see her one night stand form the previous night dressed and staring at her with a cute smile, "This is nice." He said "A little dusty, but nice… You live here…"
"No."
"Oh…"
"Yes… Kind of… It's my mother's house, but uhh, you can't stay here, you have to go. Cause I'm late, and it's my first day of work so I really need to… yeah."
"Oh."
"So I'm going to go take a shower and when I come back… you will be gone. Ok?"
"Ok," The man grinned,
"Good bye… uh…"
He laughed, "Derek,"
"Derek. Right, Meredith." She shook his hand,
"Meredith." He repeated, grinning at her,
"Uhuh," Meredith laughed a little, embarrassed she hadn't even known his name,
"It was nice meeting you." Derek called after her as she retreated up the stairs,
"Bye Derek." Meredith grinned,
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