I Can't Save my Soul, by DrGemini86 (DrGemini24)
Summary: Sam muses over her feelings for Daniel.
Pairing: Sam/Daniel
Rating: K+
Season: 10-ish
Category: UST
Genres: Angst, Drama, Friendship, UST
A/N: Based on real-life angst.
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Do you even realise just how painful it is to be around Daniel sometimes? I don't mean the stupid annoying things he does sometimes. We work together; we together oh-so well. I can't ruin that; I won't. But the alternative is to watch from afar as my heart breaks any time he talks to anyone of the female variety, or to stand back when he needs the comfort that even a best friend can't give him. My friends know; everyone knows, and I keep hearing the same things: 'Tell him'; 'You need to take the first step'; 'He's shy; you're shy – neither one knows just how much you respect an admire the other'.
That last one, from Janet, had me smiling for weeks. I thought he just tolerated me, and okay, I still think that. He deserves far better than I can give him; than I am. My one fear is that should he reject me; should he not feel the same way, then our friendship will never be the same again, if indeed it continues to exist.
Why am I so crazy about him? I can't stop thinking about him; it's as though I'm a nervous teenager again! Oh, if only I could have known then what I know now, and to have that figure. Even so, how could I have let ten years go by like this? Each day, it gets harder to tell him; each day, I want to love someone else – to move on.
Oh, but how can I? It's like I'm freefalling from 23,000 feet and I couldn't care less. What kind of a person am I that I want this to happen; that I welcome it? There can be no resolution; no respite, not within the bounds of reason at least.
So therefore, I must continue to suffer, to watch from afar, and wish. While we and SG-1 work to save the world and the galaxy, I can't save my soul as it burns within the swelling flames of a love that I cannot hope to have requited.