This was written for a plot bunny challenge thing I saw and it made all the little fic cogs in my brain start working, so I have to write it… the characters all belong to JK Rowling, of course. I dunno how it'll turn out, but I'll probably hate the ending, coz I always do lol…
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Hating Love
Looking back on the day that had just un-wound, Harry Potter decided that Draco Malfoy had either completely lost it, or he was on drugs. Harry wasn't sure which option he'd rather take, but whichever it was, Draco was acting very strange.
It had all started in Potions class that morning. Harry was mixing up his potion, glumly throwing glances at Hermione and Ron, who were of course sharing a cauldron and acting like they were married. He didn't think he's ever heard Ron call someone 'darling' before, and it was quite disturbing.
"So, Potter. Love's young dream keeping you down?"
Harry frowned before turning around. Draco Malfoy was lent casually on his table, obviously given up on his potion, which was currently frothing and bubbling all over the woodwork. Harry subliminally urged the spilt liquid to burn a hole in the Slytherin's robes.
"What are you talking about, Malfoy?" Harry asked, wondering if he could even be bothered to get into their usual 'Potty head', 'rat boy', 'Boy Who Lived To Be Stupid', 'spoilt brat' routine that day. He was too busy thinking about love, and how he'd like to stab Cupid in the heart.
"I know how you feel," Draco said, sighing as Harry's confused look made him continue, "About them. Although the thought of the Mudblood and Weasel having children makes me feel quite sick."
Harry's frown stayed put, obviously deciding to stay there for the rest of the day, "But your friends are Crabbe and Goyle. They –"
"Are very much in love and have been dating since third-year." Draco cut in, admiring his fingernails with a bored expression.
Harry glanced down the table to where Crabbe and Goyle were currently pondering over their shared cauldron, "You just said that to give me disturbing mental images." He said, as a very scary mental image crawled through his brain right then.
Draco followed his gaze, his eyebrows raised, "That is only a side benefit. At least you've never seen them snog."
Harry shuddered, suddenly glad that Hermione and Ron were at least reasonably pretty.
"Don't you just hate people in love?" Draco was saying, "It's the most disgusting thing in the world. All those cutesy nicknames. If I have to hear Crabbe call Goyle 'my little fluffy bunny' one more time, I'm gonna -" Draco slammed his fist down on the table. Harry was sure that the potion was trying to crawl away from Malfoy, and had decided to concentrate on that rather than the thought of Crabbe and Goyle's nicknames for each other.
"You know what the worst day is in the world? Valentine's Day." Harry practically spat out the name, hating every single aspect of it, "Hermione keeps asking me what she should get for Ron. How the hell should I know?"
"Meh," Draco shrugged, "I'd ask for her in a Princess Leia costume, but then that's just me."
Harry was sure his up-chuck reflex was about to come into play anytime soon. One's stomach cannot take much dirty talk, and Harry's seemed to be overly allergic.
"I hate it when they argue and you're stuck in the middle," Draco said, "Honestly, when it's Crabbe and Goyle you're stuck in the middle of, there is no getting out of there without one less brain cell."
Harry was about to comment on how Crabbe and Goyle must argue often, when Ron stormed over.
"Harry, Seamus just came and told us that you've been having a proper conversation with Malfoy for over a minute. What are you playing at? You're scaring Neville."
"Well it's not like you and your new woman cared what Harry was up to!" Draco called, "You're too busy being all in love to notice him anymore!"
Ron looked at Draco as if he'd gone crazy, before turning back to Harry, "What is up with him?"
"I think he hit his head." Harry said quietly as he watched Draco storm round his table so he was stood infront of them.
"I am a man scorned by people in love, and I am not going to stand for it anymore!" Draco cried. Everyone stared at him, the room falling silent. A piece of his well groomed hair sprang forwards in rage. Snape coughed.
"Oookay," Ron said, raising his eyebrows, "Come and work on your potion over here, Harry."
Harry thought for a moment. Maybe Draco was right. He stood up as if he was going to go with Ron, when he suddenly shouted, "No! I am not going back over there so you and your . . . whore-lady," Harry paused. Did he just call Hermione a whore-lady? "Can try and get me to stand for your love!"
"Yeah!" Draco cried, throwing his fist in the air. Harry grinned. Hermione looked scandalized.
Sadly, his euphoria of finally giving his friends a piece of his mind didn't last, as Snape slapped him and Draco with detentions after class for 'disturbing the peace'. Harry wondered if Snape was also a man scorned by people in love.
"Are you at least going to pick up a cloth and do something?!" Harry shot as he mopped up the liquid, annoyed that he'd let Draco get him so worked up earlier.
Draco looked from the cloth, that was still lying on the table from where Snape had thrown it at him, and then back to Harry, "I don't clean up after any idiot who couldn't keep control of his potion."
"You are the idiot who couldn't keep control of his potion." Harry snapped back.
Draco looked thoughtful for a moment, before his face scrunched up in a frown, "Wasn't that Crabbe and Goyle?"
"No, that was you. The only mention of Crabbe and Goyle last lesson was one that made me feel ill." Harry replied, dropping the potion soaked cloth into an empty cauldron.
"Ah yes," Draco said, nodding his head, "I remember that now."
Harry raised his eyebrows, "It was only last lesson…"
"Yes, Potter, but I have excuses for un-finished homework to think about, how I'm going to torment you Gryffindors next, or how I will get some house points taken from Weasley. I don't have time to remember trivial conversations about Crabbe and Goyle's nicknames for each other." Draco answered, waving his hand around dismissively.
Yep, definitely on drugs.
"Okay then… I'm gonna go now…" Harry shot one last look at Draco, which he hope read 'I-think-you're-crazy', before turning round and heading towards the door.
"Hey, Potter, wait." Draco called. Harry swivelled round to see Draco jogging over to him.
"What do you -"
But Harry was cut off, as Draco did something that he was no where near to expecting.
Harry panicked, pushing Draco away, "Did you just KISS ME?!"
Draco looked at him, frowning, "Don't worry, I won't be doing it again in a hurry. Your lips are awfully dry. Did you know there's a good lipsalve for that?"
"You just kissed me." Harry said, doing a rather good goldfish imitation.
"Hey Potter, if you have a problem with homosexuality, take it up with Crabbe and Goyle." Draco said, walking past him to the door. He turned the handle, pulling it open, took one look back and said, "So, see you in Potions tomorrow then. Maybe we can spill a potion or two together." He wiggled his eyebrows and grinned, before striding past the confused and scared looking Ron and Hermione that were stood in the corridor.
"Did I just hear what I thought I heard?" Hermione gaped.
"Oh my God. My virginal ears!" Ron cried, looking a mixture of alarmed and nervous.
"Hmmm," Harry said, "I think he's on drugs."