A/N: I decided to try another fanfic. This one is sort of from Elliot's view!
I own nothing!! Please read and review!
Feeling like this could only mean
I'm sinking
Feeling like this could only mean
I'm sinking
Well I'm sinking……pull me out
Elliot sat alone in his cosy one bedroom apartment, in his living room holding a photo of Olivia. Feeling like he was sinking, even though, he knew that he was the one that drove her away. Even if it was by accident.
He ran 2 fingers along the photo as he cried silent tears.
Olivia had misunderstood, what he meant when he asked the Captain for a new partner, she didn't even give him a chance to explain. He asked for a new partner because he was going to ask Olivia to marry him and he didn't want either of them to be forced to transfer.
And when he went to home to look for her, she was gone, she had already packed her things and left. He hadn't seen her since.
Every time I see your clothes scattered out on the floor
I say I thought you would be home
You said you never would be gone
Every time I see the light not burning on the porch
Elliot sat remembering the nights, where they would come home after work undressing each other, kissing passionately as they left their clothes scattered out on the floor through the house, before finally finding their way to the bedroom and made love. And nights when Olivia would be at his apartment waiting for him, he'd know when she was there because she always left the porch light on.
Flashback
Elliot pulled up in front of his house, "Liv, went home sick earlier, she can't be here" he thought as he got out of his car.
He walked up to the house and let himself in.
"Liv? Liv?"
Olivia walked out of the kitchen smiling.
She walked up to him and gave him a kiss.
"I thought you were sick?" he asked hugging her.
"I was. I had a sleep in your bed and I feel better now"
Elliot laughed. "My scent helped you sleep, did it?"
Olivia smiled and gave him another kiss on the lips. "It should did, handsome"
End flashback
I say I thought you would be home
You said you never would be gone
But you are, you are
Feeling overwhelmed, I take a dive
Into a once overfilled but now empty place to hide
It was now Elliot's 3rd night alone and 3 nights since he had seen or heard from Olivia. Every morning he asks Casey where she is and Casey always gives him the same answer every time.
"She's fine, Elliot. Just leave her alone!" before walking out, angrily.
Elliot sighed. "Why did I have to do what I did?…. We could have kept the marriage a secret" he said to himself in the darkness of his house.
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Over in Chicago, Olivia sat in her hotel room, staring at a photo of her and Elliot. She still loved him with all her heart, but was angry that he had asked for a new partner.
She didn't even give Elliot a chance to explain and she was beginning to regret it. She was already missing him and New York, she was getting home sick. But she thought that maybe Elliot would never want to see her again.
But didn't realise how very wrong she was.
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The day you turned on me is the day I died
And I've forgotten what's it's like
And how it feels to be alive
Every time I see your clothes scattered on the floor
That day 3 days earlier, when Elliot turned up at home finding out that Olivia found out about his request for a new partner, and that she was furious about it.
Munch said that he saw her storming out of the Captain's office and looking like she was about to cry. She then ran away to another state away from New York and away from him. He felt himself die on the inside and it hurt worse when he remember all those nights when all their clothes were scattered out on the floor and they made love either on the couch in the living room or on his bed in the bedroom.
He needed Olivia to forgive him and come home.
I say I thought you would be home
You said you never would be gone
Every time I see that light not burning on the porch
I say I thought you would be home
You said that you never would be gone
I reach up to the sky
When nothing seems to go right
When nothing seems to go right for me
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Elliot thought about one night after they made love as they lay in bed, talking.
Flashback
Olivia lay snuggled in Elliot's embrace.
"What's wrong, El?" she asked breaking the silence.
"Hmm? Oh, nothing, hun"
"Cut the bull, El. Please tell me"
"I'm scared of losing you, Liv"
Olivia sighed as she snuggled closer to him. "You won't lose me, El. I never will be gone" she whispered and Elliot gave her a kiss on the top of her head.
Before they both drifted in to an exhausted sleep.
End flashback
Elliot slammed his hand down on the arm of the armchair, in anger before standing and walking in to the kitchen.
"You said you would never be fucking gone, Liv! You promised you'd never leave me!" he yelled at no-one as he grabbed a beer out of the fridge.
He opened it and took a big swig of it. He was desperate to drink away his pain of losing Olivia.
Every time I see your clothes scattered out on the floor
I say I thought you would be home
You said you never would be gone
Every time I see the light not burning on the porch
I say I thought you would be home
You said you never would be gone
"You said you'd never leave me! But you did! You lied to me!" Elliot yelled at no-one and punched the wall leaving a gaping hole in his living room wall.
This was just day one of his self destruction; it was only going to get a whole lot worse, until he could see Olivia again.
I thought you would be home
You said you never would be gone
But you are
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