It was a long walk back. I thought of every possible thing I could have done to keep from losing so many of the boss's men tonight. I know he's going to be mad at me anyways, so I take off part of my costume. Might as well get comfy. My hats the first thing to go. "I hate that thing! Blah, makes my head so itchy!" I scratch at my head letting my long, blond hair loose. On my way to his privet bathroom, I notice a small shinny piece of glass on the floor from the last time I made my puddin mad. It was once part of the paper weight he threw at my head. Third one this month, ha. I wash my face and pull my jump suit down to my waist, what? A little skin can't hurt. I hate when he's mad, but, at the same time, its part of why I love him so much I think.

So, now I wait for him here on his desk laid out head propped on hand playing with that little ball clicker clacker thingy that's almost always on big ups desk. I remember the clown telling me its cause high up business mans ant really got nothing to do all day. I can't help but let out a giggle when the clear wires that hold the tinny metal balls go all tangly and junk. That's when he walked in.

"Mistah J!"

Maybe if I act like nothens wrong...

"How was your night love? Did ja get the Bat this time?"

He's mad, really mad. I run to him (though I should know better at this point) and give him a sweet kiss on his cheek.

He looks up at me.

"How was MY night?..."

He grabs my throat with one hand and pulls me close to his face.

"Love?..." He throws me down onto his desk. "He got away, and you would know this if you would have done what I told you to do and STAYED PUT!"

Yup I really did it this time.

"I was late for a nail appointment. Heh, what can I say?" He didn't think it was funny, but he never really dose. I don't know why I still try, I just cant help it. He is MY CLOWN!

"Listen Doll, I'm the boss round here. ME! I'm sick of you screwing it up. If it wasn't for you the Bat would be dead, and my life a lot less frustrating. Your a waist! Why do I keep you here?" He lets me go and walks away form the desk "You keep me cause you love me... That's why you saved me." He stopped mid steep to turn to me with that evil glare of his. "You mean as much to me as any other one of my nameless goons. I don't love you. You're expendable, just like the rest" As soon as he started walking back to the door I could feel the tears.

He's just mad.... He loves me and we both know it.... He has to!...Right?...I can make him forget all this and love me again... Yes that's what I'm going to do!

"Wait! I KNOW why I'm different from your other goons!"

He stopped with his hand still on the door knob.

"Will it be worth it to me to turn around?" By the way he shifts his body I know that he has that wicked smirk he gets when he's intrigue. I immediately remove the rest of my costume, raveling my other costume. Black and red matching bra and boy shorts. Quickly I adjust my garder and thigh highs, one red one black. You see Mr. J is, well, a particular kinda guy. And no, I don't always wear things like this under my costume. It seems necessary at times. Sometimes I think I mess up and make him mad on purpose. To test his love, to see how much he can take. Heh. He turned his face to me and took his hand off the door knob. I think to myself; Hay, this might just work after all….

When he sees me I know he's enjoying every bit of what he is lookin at. His eyes slowly moving up my body, he is very exited, till he sees the smile on my face that is. That's when he goes from pure lust to pure rage. It only takes a second for him to change, likely bipolar. Hay, I should know, it was, is…. was my job.

"No, YOU don't get to enjoy this." (Oh but I will)

Grabbing my neck again he pushes me flat on my back. His desk is cold against my bare skin. Pens, folders, paper clips and what I think is a letter opener are being jammed into my ribs and spin. It hurts. And now that he is fully on top of me, body to body, I cant help letting out a slight squeak and "oh god" out from the pain of his weight . He putts his face as close to mine as it can be without really touching. "You're mine… (he smiles again) all mine! I own you. (his free hand runs up and down my side scratching) I'm not God. I am your God… I can save you and in the same turn, destroy you myself." His grin gets larger, scarier. He pushes my chine up exposing my neck.

"And that's what I'm going to do to you over and over, again…" He licks up my neck and the side of my face. In a whisper "… and again" I feel a burning where I his other hand was. Then a thin red line of blood appear on my coiler bone. I'm not really sure when or how he got the letter opener out from under me but there it was cutting into my skin. He DOSE love me! I hold back the biggest of smiles. But that's gotten easy, acting like I hate this and what he dose to me. So I keep my face looking shaken, quietly terrified. Its not safe, me egging him on so much, but I still do it.

"God loves me…"

"God pities you."

His teeth attack my neck. His hands and nails drag the length of my body, rapping them under my knees, lifting and moving them so that my legs are wrapped around his waist. Standing straight up he smiles down at me "Now be a good little Harls so no noise and not even the slightest bit of a smile." His finger tips run up the back of my thighs lightly. My hand ball into fist…. I can do this… oh god it tickles!…"Hm…" did he hear…

The bosses head flies up to see my face when I realized that nothing gets past him.

Next thing I know I'm up off the desk. My legs around him his arms around my back, he turns and starts walking, but where is he going?