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A/N: This may seem a silly, clinched idea, but through writing Summer, Paris and so far HHEE, I've begun feeling a real closeness with Hermione. There may already be something out there like this, but it's based on how Hermione felt during my own fics, and the events ,and dialogue of those.

There are some great fanfictions who show us what a great person Hermione became, but what I am attempting here, is to show that it wasn't easy, and that she "suffered" the same things all females do, on her journey .Just because she was involved in some extraordinary events, due to her talents, abilities and her friendship with The Boy Who Lived, it's nice to see she's not a paragon of virtue.

I hope you liked this. It gave me a lot of satisfaction to write, and it'll be interesting to see whether Hermione appears in my head again soon. Might get crowded in there, with Harry and Hermione jostling for POV space in my average sized brain.


Chapter One - Some Thoughts


I can't believe I'm going to start a journal. Ginny has kept one for years, but it just never seemed my kind of thing. I've always been too busy with school work, and trying to read and learn as much as possible. Of course, having Ron and Harry as best friends doesn't leave much time for whiling away the time writing my thoughts.

This year was different though. Maybe if I'd written down my thoughts, I'd be less confused now! Have I made a total mess of things? Ron and I fought so much this year, but it was somehow different, and I know he'd like things to be different with us. It's just that neither of us knows how to behave, other than with the bickering we do.

I know I've got to decide soon whether to visit Viktor this summer. Whether I want to visit him, that is. If I want to, there's the whole other job of convincing Mum and Dad to allow me to go. They're talking about visiting France again this summer, and I'd hate to miss that. For some reason, I want to go shopping! Maybe it was knowing I looked nice at the Yule Ball this year, but suddenly, it seems Lavendar and Pavarti weren't as ridiculous as I always thought they were, thinking about how they look. It was very, well, pleasant, seeing the look on Viktor's face when he saw me! Of course Ron was mad, guess he really never thought I could look good, just old, dependable me. And Harry didn't even recognize me!

I have to admit, Harry is a big part of deciding to start a journal. I'm so confused, and I still can't believe I kissed him on the cheek when we left school! Harry is my best friend, in some ways even more than Ron. At least we don't stay angry with each other most of the time, the way Ron and I do, except when I told Professor McGonagall about his Firebolt, and it was taken away. I know he's never thought of me the way he does Cho Chang, but maybe....?

Oh, what am I thinking?!?! Harry thinks of me as part of the furniture, even more than Ron does. Sure, he came to me when he needed help with the first task, and we spent a lot of time together when he and Ron were so angry with each other. But he wasn't happy and having fun, the way all of us do together. They don't have any idea how tired I get of being the "smart" one, but I guess it's too late to change that now.

Just one time though, I'd love to see Harry go red when he tries to talk to me, the way he does with Cho. The funny thing is, he has no idea how adorable he looks when that happens. Doesn't she see it? Not right now, of course. Cho is only thinking of Cedric, which is right. None of us can really believe Cedric is gone. I never really knew him very well, but he was a person who seemed to have so much to give, and would do great things.Even being that way, he was always kind to everyone. Even little bookworms with bushy hair and too big teeth. We'll all miss him terribly.

Harry doesn't know it yet, but he may soon be spending a bit more time away from the Dursleys. Mum and Dad, as I have known for a year, are the Dursleys dentists. I never told Harry because they embarrass him badly enough, without me having to tell him what horrors they have been to my parents. But I had an idea, and Mum and Dad have agreed to give it a try. The person who's been their general helper in the office has left, moved to Australia. The 'rents have agreed to ask Harry's Uncle Vernon to let Harry try the job. Of course I always help in the summers, but I have schoolwork to do, and, okay, I admit it, I want to work on my hair and clothes, and practice not looking like a permanent resident of the library. And this way, Harry can enjoy the summer( I hope) for a change.

For some reason, I feel my life is about to change a lot, like I'm going to find out some big mystery. Is it about Harry? Mum seems to feel we need to get him away from the Dursleys as much as I do. She got really, really mad when I told her how mean they've been to him. Mum never gets angry like that.

I guess I will find out later today. For now, though, I'm home, and I already miss Hogwarts!

Disclaimer: All characters above belong to JK Rowling, and the publishers affiliated with her. No infringement is intended, and my only profit from this is the enjoyment of spending time in my head with Hermione.