BARBIE WORLD (DAY 1-DAY 4)
!WARNING! BARBIE LIKERS AND COLLECTORS WILL BE MOST INSULTED
IF THEY READ THIS! HOWEVER, YOU MAY LIKE IT. EITHER WAY,
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
DAY 1
Well, it was just a normal day. Little did SG-1
know this would be the beginning of a nighmare that would
go on for what would seem to be the rest of there lives!
"Nooooooooo!" yelled Daniel as they stepped through
the Stargate and into the unfamilar world. The whole SG-1
team turned around to look at him. What had gone wrong? "We
have to go back. I've forgotten to say goodbye to Henry."
"I'm sure he won't be too upset," said Jack. He really
didn't know whatelse to say. He'd now have to put up with
Daniel in one of his moods for the rest of the day. He
looked around for a way out of this. He spotted it over
by Teal'c. "Look, Daniel. Rocks!"
Of course, Daniel was over the moon when he saw
them. He skipped right over there and was a happy bunny
rabbit once more.
Jack had never been to this world before, and yet
it looked so familar. It was as if he had been here before.
Perhaps he had. After all, he never really mapped out where
he'd been. That was either Daniel or Sam's job.
The world was full of trees. In fact, they were in
the clearing of a forest. There were also pleanty of rocks
about. There looked like there had been a settlement here
at when point but they had left in a hurry. What had made
them leave so fast?
This was for Major Carter to find out. Sam started
off her machine. It whrilled a bit as it started up and
the display was a bit fuzzy at first, but it was soon working
again.
She waved it about a bit. Then, she noticed something
to the left of her. There was a pile of rocks and behind them,
but not in front, there were very high radiation levels.
"Jack, sir!" she called over to him. "I think there's something
you should see behind these rocks!"
Jack groomed himself. "Oh really-"he said coyly.(I
know it's sick, but it has to go in) "And what might that be?"
Before either Jack or Sam had another chance to
speak, Daniel started up. "No, Jack!" he cried. "You have to
come and look after the rocks with Teal'c and I!"
"Dr. Jackson, I think the rocks will be ok with
out O'Neill's help" the Jaffa informed Daniel.
Daniel didn't agree. In fact, he didn't agree so
much he needed to throw a tanturm about it.
Jack shrugged. He'd never get to do what he wanted
with Daniel like this. "Maybe later" he called to Sam before
going to calm down Daniel.
Sam just looked on confused. She didn't have a clue
what Jack was on about. Oh well. No matter how dangerous it
was she just had to go and find out what was over these
rocks, Jack's permission or not.
She started out over the rocks. It was hard climb
at first. The rocks were only a few inchs off the ground
but they still had some pretty sharp edges. Then, suddenly,
she lost her footing. She felt herself falling down and down.
She couldn't help herself, she screamed. Then, she hit the
floor with a sickening thud.
Jack, Daniel and Teal'c looked up. They looked around
a bit.
"What was that?" asked Daniel. Then, he reliesed
one of the awful possiblitys. He went pale, as pale as a
sheet. "You don't think one of the rocks is in trouble,
do you?"
Jack just looked at him. He grabbed a rock and was
so tempted to throw it at him when Teal'c said "O'Neill, where
did Major Carter go?"
Now it was Jack's turn to go pale. "Carter!" he
cried out on the top of his voice. He run off to find her and
the rest of the team followed. Where could she had gone? She
was saying something before he was interaupted by Daniel.
She was saying something about those rocks, but surely she
wouldn't have gone without him. Or perhaps she had gone to
wait for him. He had to go save her.
He run over to those rocks as quickly as he could.
He was careful going over them otherwise he too may suffer
the awful fate that Sam had gone through. He saw her on
the other side. She wasn't moving. Was she alive- or was
she...? Jack shook that thought out of his mind. How could
she die at a time like this? He was at her side almost
at once. He put all his first aid knowledge together and
attempted to get her back up.
Sam Carter knew Jack was at her side. Or at least
she would have know if one of the most awful things ever
hadn't of happened to her. All of a sudden she sat up. Sam
Carter was no longer Sam Carter. She was a living Barbie doll!
"Noooo!" screamed Daniel. "Henry's getting lonely! I
can sense it."
Jack now had no time to listen to Daniel's whining.
"Sam, thank godness you're alive. Say something!"
Sam looked him in the eye. Could this be his lucky
day? Then, she said "I'm a pretty girl." Jack opened his mouth
to speak when she added on (re:Jack's top) "That's the
colour I would have picked!"
Jack turned around to look at Daniel. Here we go again,
(come on, I wrote this stuff. You're not getting away without
a fight):-
"Daniel, stop throwing your voice. It's not funny!"
"It isn't me, Jack!"
"Own up! It was you!"
"Dr Jackson is telling the truth O'Neill."
"Yeah, listen to Teal'c for once!"
"Come off it, you two. It isn't funny!"
"No, Jack. It really is Sam saying that."
"No, she's not a Barbie doll, Daniel"
"I think she might have turned into something like
that when she got knocked out"
"What's a Barbie doll?"
Jack had no time to reply to Teal'c. He had to ask
Sam something to find out if what Danile said was true.
"Sam," he started. "what do you think of the colour pink?"
He waited for Sam's reply. Please don't let it be
true, he thought. "Pink's a pretty colour," she said. Jack
sighed. This could have been anybody speaking, not just a
Barbie doll. This would have stayed this way if she hadn't
of added, "It's my favorite colour of all. It's a really
sweet and girlie colour!" Jack wacked his hand against his
head. It was true.
Sam was going on and on. Jack was tiring out. They
had to think of something to snap her out of this. However,
he couldn't with this thing that had taken over Sam's body
babbering on. "Somebody shut her up!" he yelled. Teal'c was
quick to the rescue, even through Jack didn't think Teal'c
understood him. "Right," commanded Jack. "If we ever want
to get my beloved....I mean, Sam back to normal then we're
going to have to get her back through the Stargate now!"
This would have been easy except there was one
problem. The usual Sam loved to go through the Stargate,
in fact, there were few things she liked to do more. However,
this new Sam didn't like the sight of the Stargate.
"I can't go through there," she started off. "It
will mess up all my lovely blonde hair." Well, at least
there was one thing that Sam and Barbie had in common. They
both had the same colour hair.
"Come on, Sam," Daniel tried bribe her through the
gate. "I'll give you a lolly pop if you go through..."
"Lolly pop's are bad for people's health," Sam lectured.
"You shouldn't eat them, Daniel."
Daniel shrugged. He had had enough of this. Besides
which, Henry needed him! So, he jumped back through the Stargate
and back into the SGC gate room.
"Good idea, Daniel" cried out Jack, in vain. "Go
and get help! Lots of help!" Everything around him went
quiet. All that could be heard was a lone wolf in the distance.
"I don't think Daniel is coming back, O'Neill"
DAY 2
General Hammond entered Dr. Jackson's room. He had
to find out where the rest of the team were. When he opened
the door he was not suprised to see Daniel playing with his
coffee cup, again.
"Look who it is, Henry!" cried out Daniel, in a very
good mood. "It's General Hammond!"
"Yes, hello Daniel," said the General. He rolled
his eye level down to Henry. He had to say it or Daniel
would make him. "Hello Henry!"
Daniel smiled. He liked it when people liked Henry.
Henry was one of his best friends and he didn't understand
why people didn't like Henry. Henry never argued with anybody
and never interaupted. He was the best friend a coffee lover
could ever have!
"Now, Daniel," continued the general, hoping Daniel
would put the coffee cup away. No such luck. "What can you
remember about the world you were on yesterday? Where has
the rest of your team gone? Are they in any danger?" The
general awaited Daniel's answer. Was it as bad as he thought
it might be? Or was it worse?
Sadly, the general was going to have to wait a very
long time for his answer to come. Daniel sat and thought for
a while. Unfortunaly, his memory failed him. He shrugged and
then turned to Henry. "Henry, do you know where Jack, Teal'c
and Sam are? Do you know if they're in trouble?" There was
silence for a couple of seconds. The general rolled his eyes,
making sure Daniel didn't notice. After this, Daniel looked
back up. "Henry says that he doesn't know what has happened
to the rest of the team."
"Of course he doesn't know what happened to the rest
of the team!" The general had lost his temper with Daniel.
He needed to know what had happened and he needed to know
now! Daniel looked very hurt by the general's outbreak. Hammond
decided that if he was ever going to keep his cool. "He wasn't
there, Daniel. That's why he doesn't know. However, Daniel,
you were there and you do know what happened to the rest of
the team. Now, could you please tell me?"
Daniel looked blank. The general was just about ready
to snap. It was going to be a long, long day.
Meanwhile, off world, Teal'c and Jack were still having
problems with Sam. She had been going on all night about how
she better get home otherwise her beautiful Merc was going
to get all messed up, what with the bad weather. This is where
Teal'c got really confused. The weather was warm and there
was lots of sunshine. There hadn't been any rain for the
last 48 hours. How could that be bad? So, he decided to discuss
this with Sam. This kept Jack up all night which made him
tired. So, imagine, we now have a complaining Barbie/Sam, a
very confussed Teal'c and a tired and cranky Jack. Just imagine,
disarster!!!
It was now about 1000 hours and Teal'c and Sam were
still discussing the weather. Jack just had to sit and watch,
helplessly.
"No, Teal'c. You don't understand!" whinged the Barbie
doll like Sam. "The Sun is very bad for your skin. It can
burn your skin, Teal'c. You must be very careful in the Sun.
Got it, Teal'c?"
Teal'c looked mega confused. In the past, he had always
heard Sam and the rest of the team talk about going out on
a sunny beach as a good thing. Now, Sam was telling him this.
He was just about almost out of his mind. He was just about
to open his mouth to stutter something else out, when O'Neill
decided he had enough.
"That is enough. you two!" raged Jack O'Neill. He wasn't
a very happy bunny rabbit. "Sam, the weather is fine. Teal'c,
don't listen to her. Please, whatever you do, don't listen to
her. Now, we have to get back through the Stargate...."
Sam looked disgusted!"There is no way you are getting
me through there. Just think of what might happen to my hair!"
Jack was really just about to snap. He had the right
mind to leave her here. He had to think of something that would
get her through the Stargate. He was just about to give up
and go home when he thought of it. "Oh, Sam!" he tempted, crossing
his fingers behind his back. "If you go through the Stargate, then
Ken will be right there waiting for you."
It was now Sam's turn to look mega confused. She looked
at the Stagte once and then back at Jack. "But," she started
"You're right here, Ken."
Jack smiled. He took once glance at Teal'c and then
said:-
"Please, Teal'c. Please don't say anything!"
Back at the SGC, the rest of SG-1's whereabouts were
still a mystery to them. Daniel still couldn't remember. It
was now Dr. Frasier's turn to see what she could get out of
him. She had entered Daniel's room and said hi to Henry.
Daniel was now busy trying to work out their whereabouts. It
looked like an idea had clicked into place.
"I remember something,"said Daniel, gazing up at the
celing. Dr. Fraiser edged forward. It was really getting
exciting now. Another adventure was on it's way. "There
were lots and lots of trees and rocks!" Perhaps today wasn't
a day for adventures. Dr. Fraiser sank back in her seat.
Suddenly, the Stargate jolted into action. The signal
came through. Daniel and Dr. Fraiser hurried to the gate room.
The signal was now being decoded.
"Who is it?" asked General Hammond. Everybody was
now staring at the gate. Were SG-1 retruning? Could this
be the moment we have all been waiting for....
Suddenly, the Stargate went dead. What had gone wrong?
The general looked confused, Daniel looked lost for words,
Dr. Fraiser looked hungrey so she went to get a sandwich.
Before the general had a chance to ask what had gone wrong,
Sergant Kenney of SG-5 appeared from behind the gate. Perhaps
she had the answer for them?
"Erm, sorry Sir," she said, bowing her head. "I accidently
tripped over the wiring for the Stargate's plug and pulled
it out. I'll just go plug it back in." The sergant left.
Again, the gate started up and moments later the rest of SG-1
came through.
"General, I'm a afaird we have some rather alarming
news," said the Jaffa. "Sam has been turned into a Barbie
doll"
"Noooooo!" cried Daniel, who had doom written across
his face. Then, he stepped out of the panic postion and said
"Oh yeah, I remember now."
"How did that happen? And how did you manage to get
her back through the gate? I thought Barbie's hated getting
their hair messed up!"The general had so many question and
there was so little time to answer them all.
It was Jack O'Neill who did the explaining this time.
"You see, Sam knocked herself out and when she woke up, well,
she just thought she was a Barbie doll. As for getting her
through the Stargate. Well, she thinks I'm Ken so I told if
she went through the Stargate I'd..."There was a loud crash
in the corridor. Daniel screamed and ran out. (You will be
happy to hear I have not hurt Henry...this time)"....and that's
how I got her through."finished O'Neill.
The general bowed his head and sent Dr. Frasier away
to work on a cure. Jack, Sam and Teal'c left. It was just Daniel
left all alone in the SGC compound.
"Oh Henry, thank godness you're ok!" (crash)"Noooo!"
DAY 3
It was 1030. Nothing eventful had happened yet. Except
Dr. Fraiser had managed to mend Henry and Daniel was over-the-moon.
Jack was fed-up and Teal'c was just confused. So nothing new
there. Sam did get some sleep that night. She knew now that
her Merc was being looked after well, at the showroom.
Daniel, Teal'c, General Hammond, Dr. Fraiser and Jack
were all sat round a table drinking coffee. Daniel had already
had 7 cups of coffee and Jack was having troubles getting him
to stop. Jack thought this was the biggest of his worrys, until
Sam entered.
"Ohh!" she cried and jumped about clapping her hands
together in delight. "A tea party!"
Daniel looked most insulted. He jumped to his feet
as he just had to correct Sam's most awful mistake. "This
is not a tea party! It is a coffee break! No tea here, just
coffee!" How could anybody ever mistake coffee for tea?!? It's
just insulting to coffee!
Sam didn't really care. In seconds, she had sat down at the
table and complaining about there not being enough cake. In fact,
there was no cake what-so-either. Daniel was muttering under his breath
about how you don't have cake at coffee breaks, but nobody was
listening.
"Well, there is only one thing for it," said Sam, who really
was not paying any attention at all to Daniel. She rose from the table
and headed for the door. "I'm going to have to make a cake and you
lot are going to have to help me." With that, she stormed out the room,
leaving everybody else just staring.
"You don't think...."said General Hammond wondering if she really
meant it. Jack looked at General with a stare. The general at once shut
up. He knew that stare and he knew what it meant. It meant "Don't jinx
it!"
Unfortunatly, it was too late. In a couple of seconds, Sam had
arrived back and now had everybody in aprons. Daniel was complaining
because he didn't get to finish his 8th cup of coffee. Jack wasn't looking
best pleased. The general was trying to hold back his temper. Dr. Fraiser
was trying to make an excuse to get out of this. Teal'c just looked
even more confused than normal. Henry just sat on the table, 'cuz he's
a coffee cup.
"Now, look guys," said Sam. She was trying to get everybody to
see the good side of baking cakes but as I know from my experience there
is no good part of baking a cake when you could just go and buy one. "Making
cakes is loads of fun and I'm sure you'll all in enjoy it. We're going
to make a carrot cake" Daniel moaned. "What's is wrong with you Daniel?"
Daniel throw off his apron. He wasn't a very happy bunny. "Carrot
cake? Carrot cake?" He was storming around the room. "Why can't we make
a coffee cake? If we don't make a coffee cake then I'm not playing!"
"This isn't a game, Daniel," said Sam in that "tut-tut" kinda way.
"Safety in the kitchen is a number one priorty. Now, first of all we must
discuss how we can...." she continued this for about an hour.
During this hour, Daniel was glared at so many times he lost count.
He went and hid behind Henry. Dr. Fraiser made her quick escape and the
general was the first to notice. This made him snap because he didn't have
the chance to make a quick escape. He took it out on the nearest person,
Teal'c. Teal'c didn't understand and thought this was a game so he started
yelling at Jack.Jack yelled at general Hammond for starting it. So, they
carried on arguing like this until Jack pointed out that it was really
all Daniel's fault. Jack turned around to hit Daniel and, of course, as
he did so, he sent Henry falling off the table. Daniel screamed and there
was the sound of shattering china against the floor. At this point, Sam
noticed what was going on and turned around.
"What in the...." she gasped, looking at the lovely kitchen. It had
been ruined. Salt lay on the floor. There was caster sugar up the walls.
Light bulbs and a coffee cup (A.K.A. Henry) had been smashed. Flour was on
the celing. Daniel was in tears. Jack had the rolling pin in his hand. It was
at that point Jack reliesed what he was doing and quickly put the rolling
pin down. "Look what you've done to my lovely kitchen! Were you not listening
to my saftey talk. Just..."and at that, she fainted.
"I don't think they were listening to your saftey talk, Captain
Carter."
DAY 4
Daniel and Henry (yes, he's back!) were busy discussing the
archaelogy in Peru. It was a very interesting discussion. This was another
reason why Henry was Daniel's best friend. Henry would always be there to
listen to Daniel, no matter what he wanted to talk about. They were just
coming on to the subject of a gold mask found in Peru when Teal'c entered.
"Oh, hey Teal'c!" yelled out Daniel. "Come talk with us!" However,
Teal'c did not come to join them . Instead, he just waited in the doorway
and waited for Daniel to ask him if he was ok.
"I've just seen Jack O'Neill in his underpants," the Jaffa said,
extermely confused. Daniel exchanged a glance with Henry and then laughed.
He couldn't believe what he had just heard? Jack, in his underpants? Daniel
was rolling around on the floor in hysterics. This was the most amusing
thing he had heard all day. In fact, this was the most amusing thing he
had heard all week. Daniel doesn't hear a lot of amusing things, you see.
It was then when Jack O'Neill entered, in his underpants. Daniel
noticed this and gasped. Teal'c and Henry just looked on.
"Danny boy, you gotta help me," Jack practically choked out. He was
very embrassed. "Sam made me do this...." Daniel's gasp got even wider. Is
this what he had really just heard?
"Jack, that is disgusting!" Daniel raunted with a face of horror.
"In the SGC, Jack! And while she's sick and all. Don't you reliese that
you out rank her? Jack, we're going to have to inform General Hammond..and
Dr. Fraiser. I mean, what will they think? You're...."
"It's for a fashion show, Daniel" said Jack, rolling his eyes.
"What's a fashion show?" asked Teal'c, but nobody really cared to
answer that question. For that matter, Daniel was about as helpful as Teal'c
at that point. All he could think of to say was "Oh."
Jack jumped up and down a couple of times before practically
screaming, "Well, would one of you please help me?" Daniel was just coming
up with another one of his master plans but it was too late. Sam had already
discovered them.
"Oh goodie," she said, jumping up and down. "More models!" Jack
shoke his head. Why could have Daniel have done something? Well, at least
Daniel had been dragged into this as well. That was revenge in itself.
However, this oh-so-sweet-revenge feeling soon wore off. It seemed
that Daniel was ENJOYING becoming a fashion model. Teal'c didn't understand
this at all, so that didn't make Jack feel any better either.
Sam decided to pick out some clothes for them. Only problem was that
the clothes room and the changing room were all very far awayfrom each other.
So, imagine this. Daniel, Teal'c and Jack walking aroundthe SGC in their
underwear. The look on Jack's face was one of total disgust. The one on
Daniel's face was on of complete.... I honestly don't know what. I guess
weirdness would be a word to describe it. The look on Teal'c was one of total
confusion and the look on Henry's was blank.
The men walked through the SGC silently. Or at least they did until
they got about half-way through their journey and they ended up smack-bang
outside the room in which Dr. Frasier, Sergant Kenney and a few other of the
SGC girls were having a coffee break. Upon seeing Daniel outside, Sergant
Kenney got up and opened the door straight away. The conversation then
went a little something like this:-
TO BE CONTINUED
!WARNING! BARBIE LIKERS AND COLLECTORS WILL BE MOST INSULTED
IF THEY READ THIS! HOWEVER, YOU MAY LIKE IT. EITHER WAY,
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
DAY 1
Well, it was just a normal day. Little did SG-1
know this would be the beginning of a nighmare that would
go on for what would seem to be the rest of there lives!
"Nooooooooo!" yelled Daniel as they stepped through
the Stargate and into the unfamilar world. The whole SG-1
team turned around to look at him. What had gone wrong? "We
have to go back. I've forgotten to say goodbye to Henry."
"I'm sure he won't be too upset," said Jack. He really
didn't know whatelse to say. He'd now have to put up with
Daniel in one of his moods for the rest of the day. He
looked around for a way out of this. He spotted it over
by Teal'c. "Look, Daniel. Rocks!"
Of course, Daniel was over the moon when he saw
them. He skipped right over there and was a happy bunny
rabbit once more.
Jack had never been to this world before, and yet
it looked so familar. It was as if he had been here before.
Perhaps he had. After all, he never really mapped out where
he'd been. That was either Daniel or Sam's job.
The world was full of trees. In fact, they were in
the clearing of a forest. There were also pleanty of rocks
about. There looked like there had been a settlement here
at when point but they had left in a hurry. What had made
them leave so fast?
This was for Major Carter to find out. Sam started
off her machine. It whrilled a bit as it started up and
the display was a bit fuzzy at first, but it was soon working
again.
She waved it about a bit. Then, she noticed something
to the left of her. There was a pile of rocks and behind them,
but not in front, there were very high radiation levels.
"Jack, sir!" she called over to him. "I think there's something
you should see behind these rocks!"
Jack groomed himself. "Oh really-"he said coyly.(I
know it's sick, but it has to go in) "And what might that be?"
Before either Jack or Sam had another chance to
speak, Daniel started up. "No, Jack!" he cried. "You have to
come and look after the rocks with Teal'c and I!"
"Dr. Jackson, I think the rocks will be ok with
out O'Neill's help" the Jaffa informed Daniel.
Daniel didn't agree. In fact, he didn't agree so
much he needed to throw a tanturm about it.
Jack shrugged. He'd never get to do what he wanted
with Daniel like this. "Maybe later" he called to Sam before
going to calm down Daniel.
Sam just looked on confused. She didn't have a clue
what Jack was on about. Oh well. No matter how dangerous it
was she just had to go and find out what was over these
rocks, Jack's permission or not.
She started out over the rocks. It was hard climb
at first. The rocks were only a few inchs off the ground
but they still had some pretty sharp edges. Then, suddenly,
she lost her footing. She felt herself falling down and down.
She couldn't help herself, she screamed. Then, she hit the
floor with a sickening thud.
Jack, Daniel and Teal'c looked up. They looked around
a bit.
"What was that?" asked Daniel. Then, he reliesed
one of the awful possiblitys. He went pale, as pale as a
sheet. "You don't think one of the rocks is in trouble,
do you?"
Jack just looked at him. He grabbed a rock and was
so tempted to throw it at him when Teal'c said "O'Neill, where
did Major Carter go?"
Now it was Jack's turn to go pale. "Carter!" he
cried out on the top of his voice. He run off to find her and
the rest of the team followed. Where could she had gone? She
was saying something before he was interaupted by Daniel.
She was saying something about those rocks, but surely she
wouldn't have gone without him. Or perhaps she had gone to
wait for him. He had to go save her.
He run over to those rocks as quickly as he could.
He was careful going over them otherwise he too may suffer
the awful fate that Sam had gone through. He saw her on
the other side. She wasn't moving. Was she alive- or was
she...? Jack shook that thought out of his mind. How could
she die at a time like this? He was at her side almost
at once. He put all his first aid knowledge together and
attempted to get her back up.
Sam Carter knew Jack was at her side. Or at least
she would have know if one of the most awful things ever
hadn't of happened to her. All of a sudden she sat up. Sam
Carter was no longer Sam Carter. She was a living Barbie doll!
"Noooo!" screamed Daniel. "Henry's getting lonely! I
can sense it."
Jack now had no time to listen to Daniel's whining.
"Sam, thank godness you're alive. Say something!"
Sam looked him in the eye. Could this be his lucky
day? Then, she said "I'm a pretty girl." Jack opened his mouth
to speak when she added on (re:Jack's top) "That's the
colour I would have picked!"
Jack turned around to look at Daniel. Here we go again,
(come on, I wrote this stuff. You're not getting away without
a fight):-
"Daniel, stop throwing your voice. It's not funny!"
"It isn't me, Jack!"
"Own up! It was you!"
"Dr Jackson is telling the truth O'Neill."
"Yeah, listen to Teal'c for once!"
"Come off it, you two. It isn't funny!"
"No, Jack. It really is Sam saying that."
"No, she's not a Barbie doll, Daniel"
"I think she might have turned into something like
that when she got knocked out"
"What's a Barbie doll?"
Jack had no time to reply to Teal'c. He had to ask
Sam something to find out if what Danile said was true.
"Sam," he started. "what do you think of the colour pink?"
He waited for Sam's reply. Please don't let it be
true, he thought. "Pink's a pretty colour," she said. Jack
sighed. This could have been anybody speaking, not just a
Barbie doll. This would have stayed this way if she hadn't
of added, "It's my favorite colour of all. It's a really
sweet and girlie colour!" Jack wacked his hand against his
head. It was true.
Sam was going on and on. Jack was tiring out. They
had to think of something to snap her out of this. However,
he couldn't with this thing that had taken over Sam's body
babbering on. "Somebody shut her up!" he yelled. Teal'c was
quick to the rescue, even through Jack didn't think Teal'c
understood him. "Right," commanded Jack. "If we ever want
to get my beloved....I mean, Sam back to normal then we're
going to have to get her back through the Stargate now!"
This would have been easy except there was one
problem. The usual Sam loved to go through the Stargate,
in fact, there were few things she liked to do more. However,
this new Sam didn't like the sight of the Stargate.
"I can't go through there," she started off. "It
will mess up all my lovely blonde hair." Well, at least
there was one thing that Sam and Barbie had in common. They
both had the same colour hair.
"Come on, Sam," Daniel tried bribe her through the
gate. "I'll give you a lolly pop if you go through..."
"Lolly pop's are bad for people's health," Sam lectured.
"You shouldn't eat them, Daniel."
Daniel shrugged. He had had enough of this. Besides
which, Henry needed him! So, he jumped back through the Stargate
and back into the SGC gate room.
"Good idea, Daniel" cried out Jack, in vain. "Go
and get help! Lots of help!" Everything around him went
quiet. All that could be heard was a lone wolf in the distance.
"I don't think Daniel is coming back, O'Neill"
DAY 2
General Hammond entered Dr. Jackson's room. He had
to find out where the rest of the team were. When he opened
the door he was not suprised to see Daniel playing with his
coffee cup, again.
"Look who it is, Henry!" cried out Daniel, in a very
good mood. "It's General Hammond!"
"Yes, hello Daniel," said the General. He rolled
his eye level down to Henry. He had to say it or Daniel
would make him. "Hello Henry!"
Daniel smiled. He liked it when people liked Henry.
Henry was one of his best friends and he didn't understand
why people didn't like Henry. Henry never argued with anybody
and never interaupted. He was the best friend a coffee lover
could ever have!
"Now, Daniel," continued the general, hoping Daniel
would put the coffee cup away. No such luck. "What can you
remember about the world you were on yesterday? Where has
the rest of your team gone? Are they in any danger?" The
general awaited Daniel's answer. Was it as bad as he thought
it might be? Or was it worse?
Sadly, the general was going to have to wait a very
long time for his answer to come. Daniel sat and thought for
a while. Unfortunaly, his memory failed him. He shrugged and
then turned to Henry. "Henry, do you know where Jack, Teal'c
and Sam are? Do you know if they're in trouble?" There was
silence for a couple of seconds. The general rolled his eyes,
making sure Daniel didn't notice. After this, Daniel looked
back up. "Henry says that he doesn't know what has happened
to the rest of the team."
"Of course he doesn't know what happened to the rest
of the team!" The general had lost his temper with Daniel.
He needed to know what had happened and he needed to know
now! Daniel looked very hurt by the general's outbreak. Hammond
decided that if he was ever going to keep his cool. "He wasn't
there, Daniel. That's why he doesn't know. However, Daniel,
you were there and you do know what happened to the rest of
the team. Now, could you please tell me?"
Daniel looked blank. The general was just about ready
to snap. It was going to be a long, long day.
Meanwhile, off world, Teal'c and Jack were still having
problems with Sam. She had been going on all night about how
she better get home otherwise her beautiful Merc was going
to get all messed up, what with the bad weather. This is where
Teal'c got really confused. The weather was warm and there
was lots of sunshine. There hadn't been any rain for the
last 48 hours. How could that be bad? So, he decided to discuss
this with Sam. This kept Jack up all night which made him
tired. So, imagine, we now have a complaining Barbie/Sam, a
very confussed Teal'c and a tired and cranky Jack. Just imagine,
disarster!!!
It was now about 1000 hours and Teal'c and Sam were
still discussing the weather. Jack just had to sit and watch,
helplessly.
"No, Teal'c. You don't understand!" whinged the Barbie
doll like Sam. "The Sun is very bad for your skin. It can
burn your skin, Teal'c. You must be very careful in the Sun.
Got it, Teal'c?"
Teal'c looked mega confused. In the past, he had always
heard Sam and the rest of the team talk about going out on
a sunny beach as a good thing. Now, Sam was telling him this.
He was just about almost out of his mind. He was just about
to open his mouth to stutter something else out, when O'Neill
decided he had enough.
"That is enough. you two!" raged Jack O'Neill. He wasn't
a very happy bunny rabbit. "Sam, the weather is fine. Teal'c,
don't listen to her. Please, whatever you do, don't listen to
her. Now, we have to get back through the Stargate...."
Sam looked disgusted!"There is no way you are getting
me through there. Just think of what might happen to my hair!"
Jack was really just about to snap. He had the right
mind to leave her here. He had to think of something that would
get her through the Stargate. He was just about to give up
and go home when he thought of it. "Oh, Sam!" he tempted, crossing
his fingers behind his back. "If you go through the Stargate, then
Ken will be right there waiting for you."
It was now Sam's turn to look mega confused. She looked
at the Stagte once and then back at Jack. "But," she started
"You're right here, Ken."
Jack smiled. He took once glance at Teal'c and then
said:-
"Please, Teal'c. Please don't say anything!"
Back at the SGC, the rest of SG-1's whereabouts were
still a mystery to them. Daniel still couldn't remember. It
was now Dr. Frasier's turn to see what she could get out of
him. She had entered Daniel's room and said hi to Henry.
Daniel was now busy trying to work out their whereabouts. It
looked like an idea had clicked into place.
"I remember something,"said Daniel, gazing up at the
celing. Dr. Fraiser edged forward. It was really getting
exciting now. Another adventure was on it's way. "There
were lots and lots of trees and rocks!" Perhaps today wasn't
a day for adventures. Dr. Fraiser sank back in her seat.
Suddenly, the Stargate jolted into action. The signal
came through. Daniel and Dr. Fraiser hurried to the gate room.
The signal was now being decoded.
"Who is it?" asked General Hammond. Everybody was
now staring at the gate. Were SG-1 retruning? Could this
be the moment we have all been waiting for....
Suddenly, the Stargate went dead. What had gone wrong?
The general looked confused, Daniel looked lost for words,
Dr. Fraiser looked hungrey so she went to get a sandwich.
Before the general had a chance to ask what had gone wrong,
Sergant Kenney of SG-5 appeared from behind the gate. Perhaps
she had the answer for them?
"Erm, sorry Sir," she said, bowing her head. "I accidently
tripped over the wiring for the Stargate's plug and pulled
it out. I'll just go plug it back in." The sergant left.
Again, the gate started up and moments later the rest of SG-1
came through.
"General, I'm a afaird we have some rather alarming
news," said the Jaffa. "Sam has been turned into a Barbie
doll"
"Noooooo!" cried Daniel, who had doom written across
his face. Then, he stepped out of the panic postion and said
"Oh yeah, I remember now."
"How did that happen? And how did you manage to get
her back through the gate? I thought Barbie's hated getting
their hair messed up!"The general had so many question and
there was so little time to answer them all.
It was Jack O'Neill who did the explaining this time.
"You see, Sam knocked herself out and when she woke up, well,
she just thought she was a Barbie doll. As for getting her
through the Stargate. Well, she thinks I'm Ken so I told if
she went through the Stargate I'd..."There was a loud crash
in the corridor. Daniel screamed and ran out. (You will be
happy to hear I have not hurt Henry...this time)"....and that's
how I got her through."finished O'Neill.
The general bowed his head and sent Dr. Frasier away
to work on a cure. Jack, Sam and Teal'c left. It was just Daniel
left all alone in the SGC compound.
"Oh Henry, thank godness you're ok!" (crash)"Noooo!"
DAY 3
It was 1030. Nothing eventful had happened yet. Except
Dr. Fraiser had managed to mend Henry and Daniel was over-the-moon.
Jack was fed-up and Teal'c was just confused. So nothing new
there. Sam did get some sleep that night. She knew now that
her Merc was being looked after well, at the showroom.
Daniel, Teal'c, General Hammond, Dr. Fraiser and Jack
were all sat round a table drinking coffee. Daniel had already
had 7 cups of coffee and Jack was having troubles getting him
to stop. Jack thought this was the biggest of his worrys, until
Sam entered.
"Ohh!" she cried and jumped about clapping her hands
together in delight. "A tea party!"
Daniel looked most insulted. He jumped to his feet
as he just had to correct Sam's most awful mistake. "This
is not a tea party! It is a coffee break! No tea here, just
coffee!" How could anybody ever mistake coffee for tea?!? It's
just insulting to coffee!
Sam didn't really care. In seconds, she had sat down at the
table and complaining about there not being enough cake. In fact,
there was no cake what-so-either. Daniel was muttering under his breath
about how you don't have cake at coffee breaks, but nobody was
listening.
"Well, there is only one thing for it," said Sam, who really
was not paying any attention at all to Daniel. She rose from the table
and headed for the door. "I'm going to have to make a cake and you
lot are going to have to help me." With that, she stormed out the room,
leaving everybody else just staring.
"You don't think...."said General Hammond wondering if she really
meant it. Jack looked at General with a stare. The general at once shut
up. He knew that stare and he knew what it meant. It meant "Don't jinx
it!"
Unfortunatly, it was too late. In a couple of seconds, Sam had
arrived back and now had everybody in aprons. Daniel was complaining
because he didn't get to finish his 8th cup of coffee. Jack wasn't looking
best pleased. The general was trying to hold back his temper. Dr. Fraiser
was trying to make an excuse to get out of this. Teal'c just looked
even more confused than normal. Henry just sat on the table, 'cuz he's
a coffee cup.
"Now, look guys," said Sam. She was trying to get everybody to
see the good side of baking cakes but as I know from my experience there
is no good part of baking a cake when you could just go and buy one. "Making
cakes is loads of fun and I'm sure you'll all in enjoy it. We're going
to make a carrot cake" Daniel moaned. "What's is wrong with you Daniel?"
Daniel throw off his apron. He wasn't a very happy bunny. "Carrot
cake? Carrot cake?" He was storming around the room. "Why can't we make
a coffee cake? If we don't make a coffee cake then I'm not playing!"
"This isn't a game, Daniel," said Sam in that "tut-tut" kinda way.
"Safety in the kitchen is a number one priorty. Now, first of all we must
discuss how we can...." she continued this for about an hour.
During this hour, Daniel was glared at so many times he lost count.
He went and hid behind Henry. Dr. Fraiser made her quick escape and the
general was the first to notice. This made him snap because he didn't have
the chance to make a quick escape. He took it out on the nearest person,
Teal'c. Teal'c didn't understand and thought this was a game so he started
yelling at Jack.Jack yelled at general Hammond for starting it. So, they
carried on arguing like this until Jack pointed out that it was really
all Daniel's fault. Jack turned around to hit Daniel and, of course, as
he did so, he sent Henry falling off the table. Daniel screamed and there
was the sound of shattering china against the floor. At this point, Sam
noticed what was going on and turned around.
"What in the...." she gasped, looking at the lovely kitchen. It had
been ruined. Salt lay on the floor. There was caster sugar up the walls.
Light bulbs and a coffee cup (A.K.A. Henry) had been smashed. Flour was on
the celing. Daniel was in tears. Jack had the rolling pin in his hand. It was
at that point Jack reliesed what he was doing and quickly put the rolling
pin down. "Look what you've done to my lovely kitchen! Were you not listening
to my saftey talk. Just..."and at that, she fainted.
"I don't think they were listening to your saftey talk, Captain
Carter."
DAY 4
Daniel and Henry (yes, he's back!) were busy discussing the
archaelogy in Peru. It was a very interesting discussion. This was another
reason why Henry was Daniel's best friend. Henry would always be there to
listen to Daniel, no matter what he wanted to talk about. They were just
coming on to the subject of a gold mask found in Peru when Teal'c entered.
"Oh, hey Teal'c!" yelled out Daniel. "Come talk with us!" However,
Teal'c did not come to join them . Instead, he just waited in the doorway
and waited for Daniel to ask him if he was ok.
"I've just seen Jack O'Neill in his underpants," the Jaffa said,
extermely confused. Daniel exchanged a glance with Henry and then laughed.
He couldn't believe what he had just heard? Jack, in his underpants? Daniel
was rolling around on the floor in hysterics. This was the most amusing
thing he had heard all day. In fact, this was the most amusing thing he
had heard all week. Daniel doesn't hear a lot of amusing things, you see.
It was then when Jack O'Neill entered, in his underpants. Daniel
noticed this and gasped. Teal'c and Henry just looked on.
"Danny boy, you gotta help me," Jack practically choked out. He was
very embrassed. "Sam made me do this...." Daniel's gasp got even wider. Is
this what he had really just heard?
"Jack, that is disgusting!" Daniel raunted with a face of horror.
"In the SGC, Jack! And while she's sick and all. Don't you reliese that
you out rank her? Jack, we're going to have to inform General Hammond..and
Dr. Fraiser. I mean, what will they think? You're...."
"It's for a fashion show, Daniel" said Jack, rolling his eyes.
"What's a fashion show?" asked Teal'c, but nobody really cared to
answer that question. For that matter, Daniel was about as helpful as Teal'c
at that point. All he could think of to say was "Oh."
Jack jumped up and down a couple of times before practically
screaming, "Well, would one of you please help me?" Daniel was just coming
up with another one of his master plans but it was too late. Sam had already
discovered them.
"Oh goodie," she said, jumping up and down. "More models!" Jack
shoke his head. Why could have Daniel have done something? Well, at least
Daniel had been dragged into this as well. That was revenge in itself.
However, this oh-so-sweet-revenge feeling soon wore off. It seemed
that Daniel was ENJOYING becoming a fashion model. Teal'c didn't understand
this at all, so that didn't make Jack feel any better either.
Sam decided to pick out some clothes for them. Only problem was that
the clothes room and the changing room were all very far awayfrom each other.
So, imagine this. Daniel, Teal'c and Jack walking aroundthe SGC in their
underwear. The look on Jack's face was one of total disgust. The one on
Daniel's face was on of complete.... I honestly don't know what. I guess
weirdness would be a word to describe it. The look on Teal'c was one of total
confusion and the look on Henry's was blank.
The men walked through the SGC silently. Or at least they did until
they got about half-way through their journey and they ended up smack-bang
outside the room in which Dr. Frasier, Sergant Kenney and a few other of the
SGC girls were having a coffee break. Upon seeing Daniel outside, Sergant
Kenney got up and opened the door straight away. The conversation then
went a little something like this:-
TO BE CONTINUED