Story by: Kassie King

Title: An Article By Sirius Black

Category: Humor/Romance

Rated: K+

Summary: After Lily and James get together Sirius decides to write an article for the nonexistent Hogwarts paper. Includes several funny interviews and several very bad Sirius jokes. Read/Review please!

LONGEST AWAITED HOGWART'S COUPLE FINALLY UNITES TOGETHER (like Lily actually agreed!)

By Sirius Black

Scotland, Hogwart's Castle- James Potter (a.k.a. my best friend) has finally gotten Ms. Lillian Evans to agree to go on a date to Hogsmeade on this upcoming Saturday. Ms. Evans has not yet admitted to the brain aneurysm she must have suffered, but reporters are on the case.

Students are raving about the recent hook up between James and Lily. Alyssa Misano has this to say, "I don't know, Lily has lived in my dorm for forever so I guess it's a good thing, but I think a lot of girls will be disappointed James is taken."

There have been many sightings of a pompous Potter all over campus with his arm around Lily, although whenever questioned Lily seems to show reporters arrogance about her boyfriend. James Potter seems to shrug off Lily's unenthusiastic attitude (probably because he's wanted her forever).

It was on Monday when he finally got her to agree. He hadn't been asking for a while and apparently he just wore the poor girl down. I'm sure many a lady will be a little disappointed that James is tied down (babes I am still available).

Lily and James have never been ones for the quiet life, probably because they've been screaming at each other for the past six years. Although I do have it on insider information that James never meant anything he yelled at her.

James's fellow marauders (aka Best Friends) had this to say in an interview:

SB: So Remus, I've heard you are a friend of James Potter are you not?

RL: Sirius get away from me!
SB: Oh does Remus, have something to hide?

RL: Sirius will you leave me alone to do this essay if I give you a statement?

SB: Yeppers Peppers!

RL: Alright, then yes I am a friend of James.

SB: Has James always had such a fawning interest in Lily?

RL: Sirius you already know the answer!

SB: No see, Moony this is an interview and I'm not sure you understand how this works. I ask questions and you answer them whole-heartedly.

RL: Fine! Sirius even though you already know this then I will say Yes, James has always had an attraction to Lily.

SB: Is it true that you have always been friends with Lily even when your best friends in the whole world had issues with her.

RL: Yes I have always been friends with Lily.

SB: Friends? Or friends with benefits?

RL: Sirius get the hell away from me and plan on being locked out of your room for a very long time tonight!

So although that interview was a bit unproductive I did conduct one more:

SB: Alright so Peter, I hear you know James Potter pretty well?

PP: Yeah, I guess

SB: Do you think he belongs with Lily?

PP: Sure

SB: Well, um are you happy about his romance?

PP: The door to our room is locked more often so…

SB: Ahh I see! So is it true you and Potter are currently in a fight?

PP: I don't think so… Did he say anything?

SB: My god Peter you're boring! I'll talk to you later…

So although investigator interviews didn't come out as well as planned this is still worthy gossip- uh, news. Even though Lily is failing to make a statement on this subject I think it's fair to assume little Ms. Evans is pretty pleased with herself and as I have already informed the two I absolutely plan to be the best man at their wedding and the godfather of their first born. I guess Remus and Peter can have second and third kid!

A/N

I don't think there has ever been, in the history of my writing been a more fun story to write. If you could see it on the actual word document you could see it's in perfect article form, but I'm sure by the time it's posted it will be screwed up and seem unbelievably short. I do say that the interview with Remus was the best part. I would love it for you to drop a review!! I hope you got a few laughs.