A few months have passed now. I don't move very often. I don't want to leave him on his own. His noise was stronger for a while and that brought everyone's hopes up- thinking 'maybe he's going to come back, maybe he's not gone.' But it was not good. And what's worse is that recently he's gotten weaker. And so has his noise.

It went from a low rumble to whisper light, barely audible but still there. Just about. He's gotten paler recently, and he's shivering even in the warm weather. Everyone said he would come back, changed, but for the better but their hopes are slowly chipping away. Piece by piece.

So I stay here. I won't give up on him, even if everyone else has I promise I will stay by his side. Todd. My Todd. There, I've thought of his name. Most days it's too painful. His whisper thin noise floats through the air, I see pictures of Ben and Cillian, pictures of us at the water fall, pictures of the mayor, pictures of the spackle, pictures of pain and death and how it was all nearly finished and over with but no… and pictures of me. Pictures of us it the tent. Pictures of the kiss that left me breathless and full of butterflies and giving me hope. So much hope that I thought maybe we could make it and we did! We did make it but that overwhelming relief lasted for no more than a second before a single shot tore him from my grasp. Then I hear a burst of noise VIOLA! VIOLA? I jump out of the chair and I'm at his side yelling his name and begging he can hear me because maybe this is it! Maybe he's coming back maybe-

But then it stops. Not as if it's fading but it stops suddenly. Literally nothing there. I look around for help, bewildered. No no no this can't be happening! Not now!

'BEN!' I yell out and he bursts into the room almost instantly 'I don't know what happened his noise got really loud and I thought he was coming back but then it just stopped suddenly and I don't know what's happening…' I blurt out so fast I'm not sure if he can hear what I'm saying.

'I'll go get help!' Ben says then takes off running. I suddenly remember some of my healer training and I'm not sure if it's going to work but I have to try. I place my hands over his chest and press down over and over. Trying to make his heart start again. Trying to bring him back but it's not working. He just lies there as silent as a stone. Is this what it was like for him when he first met me? The first person he had seen with no noise. I understand why he was so scared now… the silence is heartbreaking.

I place my fingers either side of his neck to look for a pulse but I can't find anything. Nothing at all. He just lies there like he has done for several months but the stillness is different. There's nothing there at all. Like a big gaping hole in the world. I start the chest compressions again but my hope grows dimmer and dimmer with each one. Salty tears start to stream down my face, rolling off my chin and landing on his chest with tiny splashes. In the end it gets too much. My arms ache and I collapse onto Todd. Broken and crushed. He's gone. I had hoped for all these months he would come back or at least stay alive but he's actually gone. And part of me is gone with him. I feel like someone has ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it in front of me. But he can't…

'Todd! Wake up. You can't be dead! PLEASE! Not after everything… please…' and I'm begging him to wake up but he's not and Ben comes into the room with two medics but it's too late now. They look over at me and they know that too. And Ben just sinks into the chair and puts his head in his hands but I barely notice it all because he's gone and that's the only thing that matters. My Todd is gone.

The two medics try and drag me outside but I'm fighting to stay in there, by his side and I can hear Ben in the background saying 'oh my son...' over and over again and in the end they let go but I just sink to my knees on the floor. I can't do anything anymore. I can't think, I can't feel. Not now he's gone.

Not now Todd's gone.

Not now my Todd's gone.

Oh Todd.