I decided to post this fic because the stupid bunny wouldn't leave me alone. I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Heart/Clover/Joker/Diamond no kuni no series. I do, however, own the character Lycoris in this story!

Love Advice

I went over the instructions in my head so many times that I was confident nothing would go wrong as long as no one walked into the room at the exact moment I was going to be heating the glass beaker over the Bunsen Burner. This part was very delicate and if I left the beaker over the flame too long, the glass container would explode into a million pieces in my hand.

"This is it: it's all or nothing." I said as I pulled my goggles down over my eyes.

I just hoped that my luck would hold out and the beaker wouldn't blow up.

And I should have realized that by thinking aforementioned thought that I had just jinxed myself because five minutes into heating the tube, my door was suddenly slammed open with a none too subtle bang.

"Lycoris, I need to talk to you. Now." The ever so polite and courteous Gray Ringmarc announced in all his masculine glory, striding into the room as if he owned the place despite the fact that Nightmare had assigned the room to me for the duration of my stay in Wonderland.

I whirled around with the intent of chewing the assassin's head off for interrupting the experiment I had been working on for hours. "Damn it Gray, this is a delicate proce-"

Key word being delicate. And because I was failing to follow through with my own advice, I wasn't surprised when the damned thing exploded in my hand just when I looked away to yell at him.

The only warning I had that I had not been careful enough was the sound of glass shattering, heat washing over my hand and searing pain as the glass shards sliced into my both my hand and arm.

"Shit!" Ripping Gray a new one in the figurative sense would have to wait; I needed to do some damage control before a chemical fire started in my room. Those things were a bitch to put out.

Using my uninjured hand, I twisted the collar to cut off the Bunsen Burner's air supply so that the flames died. I then proceeded to cut off the gas being supplied to the burner as you could never be too careful in a lab. Especially if you were dealing with open flames and flammable gas.

I felt something wrap tightly around the wrist of my injured arm before I was dragged towards the bathroom that came with my temporary quarters. In the time that I had been turning all the valves to prevent a potential fire hazard, Gray had made his way towards me and grabbed me while I was distracted.

"Ow! Hey!" Instinctively, I tried to pull away. However this only encouraged the infuriating assassin to tighten his already firm grasp on my arm, making escape impossible and coherent thought difficult to form as the pain in my injured limb increased about ten fold. Or maybe five fold. I couldn't tell; all I could say was that it was really painful.

I was jerked forward again courtesy of Gray and found myself being pulled against his firm chest. Feeling my face heat up and opening my mouth to demand what the hell he was doing, I was forced to put all that on the back burner (pun intended) as something cold ran down my injured hand and into the cuts from the glass.

My hand felt like it was being burned.

I nearly choked on the sob that tried to escape from my throat. I was not a crier and the very idea of crying in public where people were witness to me being emotional horrified me, but my hand felt like it was on fucking fire. A paradox as the words cold and burned could not be applied in the same sentence, but that was the only way to describe the agonizing sensation.

"Keep still!" Gray's voice growled into my ear. "I can't get a good look at your hand if you keep struggling!"

'Screw that,' I growled inside my own head. All I wanted was for the burning sensation to stop before I passed out from the pain overload.

I paused, however, when Gray let out a hiss. "Damn. Is that glass?"

I looked down to see that, yes, there was a giant glass shard embedded in my hand. If I hadn't been leaning against Gray with one of his arms fully wrapped around my waist, I'm pretty sure I would have fainted right then and there. This wasn't my first lab accident and it was certainly not going to be my last, but this had to be the first time I had been impaled by anything.

Fervently I prayed that something like this would never happen again.

After a few tense moments of wondering what to do in this kind of scenario, Gray let out a long sigh. "I apologize for this in advance."

I started at that. "Wait? What?"

Those words were accompanied by a scream that I'm sure everyone in the Country of Diamonds heard and soon followed by some very loud cursing from yours truly.

"I did apologize in advance." Gray chuckled as I wrapped the white linen bandages around my hand. He was leaning against my window, arms folded across his chest as he watched me.

The assassin had offered to do it for me, but I refused his offer for two reasons: the first being that he was as lousy at wrapping injuries as he was when it came to cooking or anything artistic and the second was that I was still ticked off at him for causing the whole chain of events in the first place. Plus, getting injured was nothing new. I had plenty of experience in patching up my own injuries and I was much better at it than him.

I just glared at Gray before finishing up the bandaging on my hand and arm.

There. All done.

Unfortunately, because this was my dominant hand it looked like I wasn't going to be doing and experimenting for a while. Or much of anything else, depending on how much it hurt trying to pick things up with my injured limb.

Fantastic.

"So what did you barge in for?" I asked coldly. "It better be worth costing me my hand."

Alright, maybe I was a little more than ticked. But come on! It hurt!

Gray instantly sobered up and grimaced. "You're not letting this one go, are you?"

"Not for a while, no." I admitted. I tend to hold grudges and while I have gotten better about making the victims of my grudges miserable, old habits die hard. "Not unless you can convince me otherwise. Did you not see the sign outside the door? I'm pretty sure I put a sign outside the door saying 'DO NOT ENTER'."

In big letters. With warning of heavy and fatal injury if the person insisted on entering my room regardless of the warning that I posted in front of the door.

"I... had other things on my mind." Gray admitted after a long silence.

I merely raised an eyebrow at his admittance; Gray was usually very attentive. It came with the territory of being an assassin and because Gray was one of the elite, small details did not escape him so easily. For Gray to miss the sign I placed in front of my door... whatever was on his mind must have been a pretty big deal for him.

"So what is it?" I ask as I collapse on my bed. Might as well hear him out. It wasn't like I had anything else to do now thanks to my earlier experiment going wrong.

"I..." Gray opened his mouth, then closed it again.

"Yes?" I did not want to be here all day trying to coax an answer out of him. Not to mention that it was kind of weird to see Gray of all people struggling to get his words out. He always had a comeback whenever we engaged in a verbal spar (by the way, I tended to win those competitions)."Spit it out."

Gray let out a long sigh before finally telling me what had been on his mind. "I was wondering if you could give me some advice."

"Advice on what?"

Gray glared at me. "I was just getting to that."

Well how am I supposed to give you advice if you won't tell me what you need advice on, smart ass?

"Go on."

"I need advice on how to tell Alice that my feelings for her are not the same as hers."

"Huh?" Was my brilliant response. "Come again?"

If looks could kill, I was pretty sure I would be as dead as a door nail with the way Gray was trying to burn a hole in me with his gold topaz eyes. But I had no idea what he was talking about, other than the fact that he needed advice regarding the second Outsider (with yours truly being the first) Alice Liddell.

"That... I don't feel the same way about her. That I don't love her in the same way that she loves me." I didn't think it was impossible, but Gray's gaze had intensified even more. "Do not ask me to clarify it again."

Well someone was in a bad mood. But now I knew what he was talking about; for all her claims that Alice was sick of romance and wanted nothing to do with it...

...she sure fell for Gray hard.

And then that annoying pang of whenever I thought about the two of them being together reared it's ugly head. Ugh.

Despite the rocky start in our friendship when Gray had first been trying to assassinate the owner of where I was lodging, Nightmare, the two of us had become friends. If only because I was the first girl to not fall for his good looks and charms and told him where to shove it as well as because he could also hold his own when it came to the two of us snarking at each other.

I wasn't an idiot; I knew that the pang stemmed from the fact that I did not like the idea of Alice and Gray being together.

My first reason, and I dared not to admit this out loud and in the vicinity of Nightmare who could read my mind, was that I was afraid of Gray not spending time with me any more if the two of them became a couple. At least alone. He wouldn't stop hanging out with me, but he would probably bring Alice with him wherever we went.

The second was Alice.

I did not like Alice.

I am not afraid to admit that my dislike for Alice bordered on irrationality, but there was also the way that Alice reacted whenever she saw Gray and I together that made me want to walk up to her, punch her in the face, and tell her to get over herself.

Alice reminded me of another girl back in my old world as they looked eerily similar. Light brown hair, turquoise coloured eyes. Another girl who I hated. The first time that I saw Alice, I thought that the bitch (my tormentor, not Alice) had followed me to Wonderland just to torment me some more. Honestly, it was not a pleasant introduction to each other and I don't think Alice likes me either for it, not that I could really blame her. And it wasn't as if I lost any sleep over the fact that she hated me right back.

There was more to say about my old tormentor, but that was neither here nor there.

But back to why I strongly dislike Alice.

Other than the fact that she looked exactly like her, there was also the fact that she did not like it whenever Gray and I hung out. Whenever the two of us were hanging out and we came across her, she was always polite but I could tell by the way that she looked at me that she did not like it. I had the feeling that if she had more self-confidence in herself and less self-restraint, she would have insisted on coming with us just to make sure that there was nothing going on between us as if Gray was already hers.

It's already bad enough as it is; I can't imagine what it would be like if the two of them actually started dating.

...and there goes that annoying pang again.

"Wait? Huh? You want me to give you advice on how to tell Alice you don't love her?" I said when I ran the words through my head again.

"Isn't that what I just said?" Gray growled in irritation.

"Um, yeah. But- oh. Just wait. I need to think about this."

I was a horrible person to feel this way, but I could feel nothing but relief at Gray's admittance. He didn't love Alice. He didn't love Alice.

If Gray hadn't been standing right there, I was sure I would broken out into a cheer right on the spot. But because he was still waiting for me to say something, I decided to contemplate on it later where I was sure that no one would be able to see or hear me.

"Alright, so you don't like Alice the same way. But how do you feel towards her- hey, what did I tell you about lighting cigarettes in my room?"

Gray already had one of those cancer sticks in his mouth and had been about to light it when I interrupted him. Grumbling under his breath, the assassin none the less put the cigarette away; even he knew that it was a bad idea to smoke in my room.

Like I said before. Lab equipment. Flammable stuff. Not exactly a great idea.

"She is like a younger sister to me." Gray sighed, running a hand through his dark navy hair now that smoking was not an option. "Nothing else."

I winced. Ouch. Sibling zoned.

I kind of felt sorry for Alice. Kind of.

"So you don't like her in the romantic sense."

"No."

It was my turn to sigh. I was not ashamed to say that I gave good advice that mostly worked out, but romance was not my specialty if only because I've never once been on a date; I had better things to concern myself with than dating boys or getting involved in the romantic scene. It also struck me as being too much effort, with the way society was so obsessed with couples and not staying single.

Even so, I knew the answer to this one.

"I would say reject her in the nicest way possible if the topic ever comes up. Sure, it will hurt her but being rejected always hurt." I knew from social experience that it hurt like hell. "And hey, at least you went about it nicely."

"And if I say yes to dating her for her sake...?"

"No." I sat up straighter and looked Gray right into his liquid gold eyes. "If you don't like her romantically, then that's it. Agreeing to date her would give her the false sense that you like her right back and all you would be doing is leading her on, which is crueler than rejecting her at the start."

In the rare moments he wasn't threatening someone or snarking at me, Gray looked thoughtful.

"Why are you even coming to me for this? I'm pretty sure this is something you could have up with this conclusion on your own."

Being the womanizer that he was, Gray could read a woman's emotions and manipulate them so that they would fall for him. Not that it was too hard for them to in the first place, as Gray was infuriatingly handsome and he used this fact to his advantage.

"Just wanted to confirm things with you. And that wasn't the only thing I needed advice for."

"Shoot."

"...there is someone else I like."

...

...

What?

"Like as in you actually 'like' her or do you plan on using her for sex like the rest?"

"Why do you always assume that's all I use women for?" Gray gave me a look of disgust.

I stared back at him unfazed. "You do realize I did a background check on you, right? There wasn't a lot of information since you did kill everyone of your targets prior to Nightmare, but one interesting fact that often came up was that you liked women." I grinned. "A lot."

Gray looked away and I could have sworn I saw his cheeks flush pink.

My grin grew wider. I win!

"But anyways, what makes you think that this woman is different? That you don't plan on using her like the other girls?" I raise an eyebrow at him. "I was there when you dumped your last one after all."

I actually heard it too. It was kind of hard to miss her screaming at Gray. Unfortunately she literally ran into me when she stormed out after she was done and when she saw me standing outside staring at the scene the two of them were causing, she instantly accused me of being Gray's newest lover before running off, I assume, to cry her eyes out.

Needless to say, that had been very awkward time period between the both of us.

"I just know." Gray closed his eyes. "Let us leave it at that."

"Alright." I shrugged. I knew that I wasn't going to get any more answers out of him. "So what advice do you need regarding this new girl you like who is not Alice?"

"I need advice on how to get her attention. All the advances I make towards her seem to fly over her head."

Ah. I see. I couldn't help smirking at Gray's dilemma. "Of all the people you fell for, it just had to be the one who is immune to your charms. Nice."

Then again it was understandable. From what I could tell, Gray had to put in more effort than usual to try and charm this mysterious girl of his and each and every one of his single attempts fell flat on their faces. The fact that he came to me regarding this mysterious girl must have meant he was desperate to get her to notice of him.

And therefore must have really liked her.

How cute~!

Yet at the same time, my heart twinged for some reason. Weird...

Judging by the way Gray was looking at me, he wasn't as amused as I was.

Guess it was time to get down to business.

"Simple. Just tell her."

The expression on Gray's face was nothing but pure incredulous.

"I'm serious." I say. "If every hint you've dropped so far hasn't worked, then the only way to go is to tell her out right. Some people are like that; they won't get the message unless you tell them directly and in terms that they can't interpret other wise. Just be simple and precise about it."

"...that makes sense." Gray admitted after what felt like forever (though it was really a few minutes).

"Of course it does. The advice came from me after all."

"You're as humble as always." Gray said sarcastically.

I just grinned. I was a genius and knew it; some would say that it was arrogant for me to outright say so, but it also struck me as stupid to try and deny it either in the name of modesty.

"It can also be applied to your situation regarding Alice. Have you been trying to drop hints that you're not interested her?"

Gray's look of discomfort told me that he had. And just like his attempts to woo his mysterious woman, they all fell flat on their faces as well. Never thought that Gray the womanizer would actually have woman troubles considering just how smooth he was with the ladies in the past.

"Let me guess: she didn't notice?"

"Yes."

I sighed. I had a feeling that with Alice it wasn't so much that she was oblivious to Gray's hints that he was not into her, but rather that she pretended not to notice them. Alice had a bad habit of pretending not to notice things that she did not want to see. In this case, it would be Gray's lack of romantic feelings for her.

"As I said before, the truth is the best way to go. If you tell directly that you have absolutely no interest in her, even she should get the hint. If not, um..." If she didn't get the hint then, Alice was in a serious case of denial. A serious case of denial that needed some serious psychological attention.

"I understand." Gray sighed, running his hand through his hair as he moved from his position by my window and headed for the door. "I should probably deal with Alice first, and then my second problem otherwise she'll get the wrong idea."

Yeah. If Gray confessed to the second girl first before telling Alice how he felt for her, it would like that Gray was leading Alice on the entire time and I could picture that scenario turning very nasty very fast. With all girls, actually.

"Wait!" He stopped, turning to face me. "I have a question I need to ask."

When he didn't turn back around and ignored me, I figured that as a go ahead to ask the question on my mind.

"I thought that everyone here loved Outsiders."

"What's your point?" He grunted.

"Shouldn't you have returned Alice's feelings?" I was curious about that. She was an Outsider after all.

"True. We are obliged to 'love Outsiders' as that is part of the rules, but that does not necessarily mean we have to love them in the romantic sense."

"Oh, right. There are different kinds of love after all: parental, sibling, family, friends..." And the list could go on.

"Is that all?" And Gray was doing it again. Running his fingers through his hair. He did it so often that I found myself wondering just how soft his hair was because it looked really, really soft.

"Yup!" Then just before he left, I added, "And good luck! I hope it all goes well! Hopefully Alice doesn't kill you too badly!"

I knew that Gray needed all the luck he could get.

~Epilogue~

"So how did it go?" Nightmare asked the assassin, who acted more like his own personal babysitter rather than his murderer, when he walked through the door to his office.

If it was even possible, Gray's general appearance looked even more ruffled than usual and he looked completely exhausted. If Nightmare didn't know any better he would say that Gray had gotten into a few fights on the way to his office.

"As you said, she did not suspect a thing. I was able to talk to her without arousing any suspicion on her part." Gray let out a long sigh. He was tempted to grab a cigarette and light it at that moment, but smoking in front of the sickly teen was not a good idea.

Nightmare couldn't help but smile at the assassin's predicament. Poor Gray. He had gone to the very girl he had fallen in love with for advice in how to get her to notice him.

Gray Ringmarc was in love with Lycoris Anderson and he had fallen for her hard.

Everyone could see it.

Everyone but Lycoris herself.

And I'm done!

Whoo! I wrote the first half on Thursday night and finished the rest on Friday! It took a lot of time, but I hope you appreciate this!

Note:

As I'm sure you've noticed, Lycoris in this fic does not like Alice and it shows in the way she talks about her. While yes, Lycoris does not like Alice that does not mean everyone else feels the same way (save for Sidney) and will treat Alice the same way they treated her in the game. Btw, Lycoris admits she has reasons for not liking the second Outsider and admits that her dislike for Alice is not even rational and that she attributes it to the similarities between Alice and the girl who made life a living hell for her.

As for Gray not falling in love with Alice in this fic? In my head canon, the first Outsider gets first dibs. While Alice is the first Outsider in the Country of Hearts and the Country of Clover, Lycoris is the one who came to Diamond first hence why she is the priority player there and not Alice.

If you have any questions, please direct them to the reviews!