No. No, it wasn't supposed to happen like this. Not when they were so close, so very close.
It was just like in those tragic tales: the character drops to their knees, and all sound is gone save the beating heart. He'd always found those descriptions over used and over mellow dramatic. But that was how it was. There was no other description for it unless you lived it. It was like hearing a love song when you're in love. You finally understand.
He forgot the victory, forgot where he was, and fell to his knees beside the man who'd loved him since childhood, the man he'd fallen for not a year ago, next to Fili. Silent tears of pain and agony streamed down his face, leaving clean tracks on the dirt of his cheeks. A stomach wound.
"Ori," he grinned up at him and touched his cheek. The pain in his eyes was damn near strong as the tenderness. "Thank you."
For letting me love you. For loving me. He didn't need to say it. He said those things every day.
His hand began to slip and Ori held it tight; closing his eyes, he felt his tears touch Fili's hand. "I love you, Fili. I'm so sorry it took so long–" He began to sob at the end.
"Don't…cry," Fili tried to smile once more, but failed. Blood had begun to pool at the corners of his lips. "I love you. I always have." He managed a smile this time, a true smile, a smile of one who had accepted death, embraced it.
No. No, no, no, no.
Ori leaned in and kissed him. He didn't taste like Fili. He tasted like iron. Like blood. But he felt a smile on the mans lips. And somehow, in spite of everything, Ori smiled too.
"I have to let go now." Fili's voice sounded so far away, so quiet, almost…
Like a ghost.
"No!" Ori's protest came out far louder than he'd intended, far more desperate and terrified. Full of anguish. He didn't want Fili to hear that. Not the last thing he wanted him to hear.
He slid his arms under his back, lifting him to his chest, and cradled him.
"Fili, I lov–"
"Ori," The younger dwarf sniffed and looked down at the man he'd fallen in love with. He knew these would be his last words. "I will love you... until the day I die." The last part came out as a hissing whisper, so faint that he'd not've noticed it had he not been listening.
Fili was gone.
Ori kissed bloody lips and closed unblinking eyes, blinded by his own tears.
I will love you until the day I die.
He began to sob. How often had Fili said that to him? Ori had teased him every time he did. Poked fun at his ridiculousness. But, in the end…
No. Not the end. A quote came to mind, something Dori had said to him as a child; everything changes, nothing perishes.
"Fili, I will love you until the day I die. I swear it. Only you."
Ori closed his eyes and kissed his lips once more. "I swear it. By all that is good, and all that is evil. I will love you until the day I die."
*note, the description of falling to your knees and not hearing anything. it happened to me when my brother died earlier this year. and the love song is real too, anyone who's ever been in love knows that.