This idea has been percolating in my head ever since I saw The Parting Of The Ways episode. I don't know if anyone else has had an idea remotely like this, although I'd think that maybe someone has?
Obviously I don't own Doctor Who...or the song Someone To Watch Over Me.
Dedicated to Max.
An old song, old to Rose that is, was playing in the Tardis. She hummed along to the words that Ella Fitzgerald sang as she fiddled at the task the Doctor had given her.
"There's a saying old, says that love is blind
Still we're often told, seek and ye shall find
So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind"
The Doctor was puttering over the console controls. Rose looked over at him. Her eyes lingering upon him wistfully.
The Doctor. Her Doctor. With him always. And yet never really with him. Loving him. And yet never able to be with him as she wanted to, to express her love for him. Doing all that she could to protect him. And yet wondering if she ever really could. And wishing they could be together. But they could not. They were so different. So very different. And he would never know the way she really felt about him.
"He's the big affair I cannot forget
Only man I ever think of with regret
I'd like to add his initial to my monogram
Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?"
She was the Bad Wolf. She scattered those words through time and space to save him, the man she loved. A message that she hoped would always to lead her back to him, that no matter where he was she would find him and keep him safe.
"There's a somebody I'm longin' to see
I hope that he, turns out to be
Someone who'll watch over me"
She wanted to always watch over him. She wished she could have spared him all the pain he had suffered. She'd take it all of his pain if she could. She wished she could have ended the Time War before all the Time Lords, his friends, family, his entire race, had died. Wished she could have saved them all for his sake.
"I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood
I know I could, always be good
To one who'll watch over me"
For him she would do anything...if only she could. But she was all too aware of her limitations. Just as she knew he was aware of his own. How he privately railed over his limitations...failures...and tried to hide it with his brilliant smile. But he couldn't hide it from her.
"Although he may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key"
She thought of all the ways he had looked, through all of his regenerations. To a human, like Rose, at times he would have seemed old...not practically ageless as he was. Curly hair, straight hair. Blond hair and brown. Big ears. New teeth. Sometimes dressing quite smartly...other times quite fashion challenged. Always goofy...in a sweet, wonderful way.
"Won't you tell him, please, to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me"
Rose had unwittingly given her the one chance to be with her Doctor in ways she never dreamed. When Rose had ripped open the TARDIS console that hid the energy of her heart she'd been able to possess, no share, the life form of the only other being she believed loved her Doctor as much as she did...Rose Tyler. In that moment she and Rose had been one...at one in their thoughts and desires and love for the Doctor...at one in their willingness to do anything to save him. When she had joined with Rose Tyler she had been capable of things she could never done on her own. Together they could even control life and death itself...except for the life of Rose herself. Had the Doctor not saved the girl with a kiss Rose would have burned up. She regretted that the girl had been in danger. Both she and Rose had been seduced by the power that they'd been capable of using when merged together and neither had wanted to let go. She thought of herself as the Bad Wolf, but really together they were the Bad Wolf. Rose no longer remembered much, if any, of the experience where they had overcome the Daleks and saved their beloved Doctor. But she remembered it all.
She remembered most of all, how in order to save Rose's life, for that one moment in time she had felt the Doctor's touch, his kiss...their breath intertwined and then for a few seconds she had felt the energy of their two spirits intermingling...right before he sent her energy back into her heart and to the time vortex where she existed. For one moment in her lifetime her spirit had escaped the time vortex and the body of this time ship that the one she loved traveled in. And then she'd been returned...with none but she aware of any of it.
The Doctor thought that it had solely been the time vortex running through Rose's head. He had not seen Her. Not the Tardis.
He never really saw her as she really was. He communicated with her, but was not able to "really" communicate with her. He knew she was a living being and intelligent, but even as a Time Lord he was couldn't quite fathom the true depths of her intelligence, her emotions...her Spirit. She had gone beyond being a creation of the Time Lords long ago. She wasn't just a box. She was a being of energy. She created herself.
She could see the whole of time and space and every single atom of existence. She could see everything. All that is, all that was, all that ever could be. She had told that to him on the gamestation and he had replied to her...no he had replied to Rose, "But that's what I see. All the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?"
But, he would never see her as she really was. Even though she was his only companion to never have left him. The only one who would never leave him. The only one who would, or could, be with him until the end.
The Doctor smiled brilliantly at Rose. And she smiled just as brightly back as they laughed and joked together. He pulled her towards him and into his arms and they danced for the last few lines of the song together.
He was happy with Rose. She could be content with that. With Rose he was loved. Cared for. The best human companion he'd ever had...and maybe ever would have. And she? Well she would always continue to watch over him.
Warmth, tinged with just a bit of sadness, filled the heart of the Tardis as she looked upon them. My Doctor.
"Won't you tell him, please, to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me
Someone to watch over me."
