A/N: Hi! This is my first attempt to write fanfiction. I have loved this movie and its characters for over 30 years and I've been reading fanfiction for 12 years, but I never dreamed that I would one day write a story of my own. English isn't my first language, so I didn't feel quite up to the task, but after some gentle encouraging from IDontKnowYourSignal, I finally decided to try. So, many thanks to IDontKnowYourSignal for encouraging me and correcting my grammar/spelling!
The title comes from a song by Dana Glover and the lyrics of that song will be part of this story, because I've always felt that they describe so beautifully the relationship between the Captain and Maria. I hope you enjoy!
Georg von Trapp stood by one of the windows of his study, hands clasped behind his back and stared out. The early summer laid a beautiful picture before him with all the blossoming flowers and different shades of green, but he didn't even see it. He was so preoccupied with his thoughts.
His whole demeanour reflected his mood. Annoyed. Frustrated. Tired. Once again he was faced with a situation he had gone through so many times before. Way too many times. And it had never worked out.
He was waiting for the arrival of the new governess. The twelfth new governess. Twelfth! It was absolutely ridiculous. During the past four years his children had managed to drive away all the previous eleven governesses. It seemed that his children's imaginations were limitless when it came to finding a way to get rid of yet another governess. Glue in a toothbrush, a snake in a pocket, a mouse in a bathtub, spiders in bed... His children seemed determined to make the governesses disappear. He never really stopped to consider the reason why they behaved in such a manner. He didn't want to know the reason, because somewhere deep inside of him he knew the answer would be something he couldn't face.
He knew that his offspring had gained quite a reputation in Aigen and Salzburg, and that irritated him beyond belief. He was sure people were having fun at his expense. He, a decorated naval hero, couldn't get his own children to behave properly. It was downright embarrassing! He hated the idea of being a subject to people's gossip and because of all the talk over his children and their behaviour, governesses number ten and eleven had been quite hard to find. He was running out of options if he wanted someone suitable to look after his children.
He thought he had been very clever to think about the Nonnberg Abbey when the time had come to find governess number twelve. Surely the gossip about his children hadn't reached the cloistered Abbey. And who could be a better person to teach his children discipline and obeying the rules than a nun who had devoted her life to following strict rules?
So, he had written to the Reverend Mother of the Abbey and inquired if she had someone suitable for a governess. The Reverend Mother had replied and told him that after giving the matter serious thought and after spending time in prayer, she indeed had someone special in mind, someone who she thought could be very beneficial to his family.
For a moment he had been quite hopeful that he'd finally found the one who would be right for his family, but now as he stood by the window and waited, his mood had gone dark again. Optimism hadn't been his forte during these past years, so back was the annoyance. The frustration. The tiredness.
What made the matter worse was that she was already late. Punctuality was something he valued very high. Years of military service had taught him that.
Somewhere in the distance he heard the doorbell ring, but he was so worked up with his irritation that he barely registered it. When Franz, his butler knocked on the door a little while later and informed him that the new governess had arrived, he rushed by him so fast that he failed to notice the peculiar expression on the butler's face. Had he been paying a little more attention to Franz, he might have understood that this new governess he was about to meet, wasn't anything like the previous eleven who had tried to control his unruly children.
Franz had told him that the new fräulein was waiting for him in the main hall, but when he arrived at the large hall there was no one in sight. Bewildered, he took a hasty look around him and with a practiced eye of a military man, he immediately noticed something that wasn't the way it should have been. One of the doors leading to the elaborate ballroom was slightly ajar. The doors of the ballroom were never open.
During the past four years, ever since his wife passed away, he had been adamant that the ballroom doors were not to be opened. The memories that room held were simply too painful to face. So, like so many other things that reminded him of his wife, the ballroom had been put out of sight. Whether it was pictures, books, jewellery, flowers, music or even the laughter of his children... Everything that reminded him of her, had been demolished from his view. That way he didn't have to face how much he had lost.
At first, he hadn't thought about how long he would keep everything locked up, but days had turned into months and months had turned into years and the more time had passed, the harder it had become even to think about those things. Eventually he had just began to pretend that the things once so dear to his heart didn't exist at all.
He had actually been quite successful at suppressing all the memories, if a word like success could be used in such a context. He had banished all the painful reminders of his past from his mind so effectively that he'd almost forgotten that he even owned a ballroom. But now someone had intruded and opened the door he wanted to keep locked. The memories he wanted to keep locked away.
He knew it must be the governess who intruded, it had to be, because he was certain that everyone else in the household knew better than to open that door.
When he had left his study, he hadn't thought his mood could be any worse, but apparently, he was proven wrong. Something inside of him flared. He just stood there for a minute and stared at the door which was now ajar. Then he determinedly strode forward towards the doors with a harsh look on his face. Ready to face the new governess.
Little did he know that that small gesture of hers, opening a door he wanted to keep closed, symbolized everything that was about to change in his life forever.