Chapter 1

Yuki woke with a start. She leaned over to look at her alarm clock. 2:56 AM. Her sheets were themselves blanketed in moonlight pouring from the bedside window, and the steady hum of the electric fan filled the room. The air felt as though it wanted to smother her. It was one of the most humid summer nights of the year, but that wasn't the reason why she woke up. You should really go back to sleep, Yuki, she told herself. Yet even as she thought this, the dream began to unfold yet again in her mind, always playing more vividly than the last.

In her dream, Yuki was back home in the countryside where she grew up with her mother Hana and her brother Ame. She was dashing down a mountain in her wolf form, and she felt her limbs rejoice in the thrill of it. The land was sprawling with the greenest grasses and the most colorful blooms; everything seemed to sing with new life. With the wind whistling in her ears, fresh air in her lungs, and the sun's warmth bathing her back, Yuki felt like life couldn't possibly get any better than this. She started to laugh when all of a sudden, the color seemed to drain from all around her. Fear stopped her in her tracks as the gray crept in like a disease, quenching every sign of spring as it inched its way to her paws. Yuki looked up to scream for help, but she had somehow lost her voice, unable to utter a word. And instead of the mountains, the tall, grimy, forbidding buildings of Tokyo suddenly loomed before her, cornering her from all sides, pressing closer and closer as if they were about to crush her and then—she woke up.

It was the fourth straight night Yuki had this dream, and she thought it was absolutely ridiculous. She was a high school sophomore and had been living in Tokyo a while, and the hustle and bustle of the city were no longer foreign to her. In fact, she reveled in it. She loved how there was always so much to do and so many places to visit. She liked the challenge of having to juggle her school work, social life and a part-time job at a nearby recreational center. This is the life I want for myself, she thought. Or was it? Yuki shook her head, not wanting to follow that train of thought. At least not on the eve of her biggest algebra exam of the school year.

Yuki sighed as she looked at the full moon perched on the Tokyo skyline. She was hardly ever unsure of herself and what she wanted, and the doubts that the dream inspired made her feel anxious. The sharp longing that sprouted in her chest made it even worse. It's got to be the full moon behind these dreams. She was always more in touch with her wolf side when the full moon was out. It often felt like it was calling to her, making her feel a physical need to draw out her claws and howl a wolf song into the night. That would've been ill advised in her crowded boarding house, and not to mention counterproductive. Yuki had worked so hard to suppress her inner wolf and fit in with everybody else, it just made no sense to heed those needs. She had chosen her path, just as Ame chose his.

The call of the moon had never been this strong before, however. She knew this time was different.

After tossing and turning in bed for a good half hour, Yuki got up to splash some water on her face in the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror. She studied her little nose, her brown eyes, her choppy bangs. She was starting to grow a more womanly figure, but was still slender, like her mom. She looked every inch a normal human girl, and she liked that. And yet…

Yuki made a decision then. Just this time. She closed her eyes, breathing in deeply. She reached into that part of herself that allowed her to be a wolf, the same place between heart and soul that she used to be so in touch with. She remembered when this came as naturally to her as breathing did. That was a long time ago, yet when she opened her eyes, she had no doubt that something was terribly wrong.

Yuki couldn't turn into a wolf.

—

Souhei got up before the sun that morning and headed straight for the school gymnasium. He was one of the few sophomores who were good enough to get into the basketball varsity team, and it was a position he didn't take lightly. Souhei always felt a pressure to prove that he deserved to be on the team, and therefore tried to work twice as hard as everyone else did. He also thought he owed it to himself to be really good at something, and also to Yuki, who suggested he try out for the team in the first place.

"What you need, mister, is an outlet," Yuki had said. He knew things were about to get to serious when she called him 'mister.' "Since your boxing career doesn't look like it's gonna pan out—oh, come on, have you seen how skinny you are?—you should give the basketball team a shot."

"I see what you did there," he replied. She giggled, as endearing and adorable as ever.

"I'm not kidding, though! You played quite a bit in grade school and middle school, right? You've always been talented in it. It'll be a productive way for you to let off some steam. Plus, it might even help you land a college scholarship."

Souhei shrugged, trying to conceal a smile. He knew then that he had to try out, if not for himself then for Yuki. She was always looking out for him and was always there when he needed someone to talk to. They were great friends, but beyond that, they had a special bond that owed its beginnings to that fateful day when the typhoon stranded them at the grade school. Souhei couldn't forget a single detail about that moment even if he tried: the howling of the wind through the window, the shifting of her silhouette behind the curtains, the tears that rolled down her cheeks and the smile she beamed at him when he told her she was safe. He knew that he was going to be her protector, her confidante, and her best friend from that day forward.

And perhaps, he could be something more. Souhei shook his head as the thought crept into his mind, not for the first time. He had always been somewhat enchanted by her; after all, could a beautiful girl who was both wolf and human be anything if not magical? Not to his surprise, he later found that the magic only started there. He grew to admire everything about her, from her fierce love for her mother to her fiery determination to succeed in all she did. It was only Yuki who could quicken his pulse with her smile, or turn his day around with just a few words of encouragement. Yuki truly was, in every sense of the word and in the best way possible, special.

But as a young man who had been forced to grow up faster than others his age, Souhei was reluctant to entertain his feelings for Yuki. He knew he didn't live in a fairytale. Life could be cruel, always eager to scar him with lessons no one else could better teach him. Having not really known his father and being emotionally neglected by his mother, Souhei learned very early on what it was like to be unloved. He clearly remembered being brought along to many of his mother's social activities, and how she would coldly wave him away when he pulled on her dress and pled quietly to be brought home. When she did kiss his cheek or stroke his hair, he always felt like she only did it because someone was watching. He watched her move from one marriage to the next, and he grew to see love mainly as a fragile pretense through the lens of his mother's failed relationships. Many would've been quick to feel sorry for him, but Souhei wanted nothing to do with anyone's pity. He taught himself not to care, to be unaffected by his mother's callousness. Souhei was proud of his strength and independence as a child; he refused to crumble beneath the weight of feeling so alone.

Yet the weight of everything he'd been through marked Souhei nonetheless. He became wary of his own heart and felt he couldn't even begin to understand all that he felt for Yuki. He wasn't going to tell or promise her anything he didn't intend to keep. What did he know about a man's love for a woman anyway? The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. No, never. I would never do that to Yuki.

The sharp echoes of basketballs dribbling on the court snapped Souhei's mind back to the present. He couldn't count how many mornings began and evenings ended with thoughts of Yuki. As he fell into the rhythm of his daily basketball drills, he couldn't help but laugh inwardly at the irony of it all. I see how it is, Yuki. You knew all along you were gonna mess with my feelings like this huh? Thanks for the outlet, I guess.

—

Yuki walked out of her algebra final a jumbled mess of nerves and jitters. Since she couldn't really get any more sleep the previous night, she turned to the next best thing: coffee, and lots of it. Her new predicament couldn't have come at a worse time.

"Yuki, are you alright?" Shino said, a worried look on her face. "You don't typically get this nervous over an exam. Is anything wrong? Oh, don't tell me! You didn't skip that last question like most of us, did you?"

"No, thankfully I might've gotten that one right. I'm just tired, Shino, and I… I've got a lot more on my mind that math right now."

"Oh, I completely understand! We still have that chemistry final. UGH, I detest chemistry! Remember that time when—"

As much as Yuki loved Shino, she couldn't be more grateful when her phone rang just as she switched it off of silent mode. Souhei, the screen read. Yuki felt relieved.

"Hey, Shino, I have to take this. I'll see you tomorrow, k? Call me if you have chemistry questions!" she said hurriedly as they parted ways. The only good thing about exam days was that students were always sent home early. Finally, Souhei. "Hello?" she answered.

"Hey princess," he teased. "Sorry for missing your calls this morning, I was busy owning the court. What's up?"

Yuki rolled her eyes, and yet inevitably she found herself smiling. "I just got out of my algebra final. I drank so much coffee my head's practically swimming in it."

"Aww, rough night studying huh?"

"No, that's what I would've liked to happen, actually." By now, Yuki had reached the small playground tucked oddly in one of the quieter corners of the suburbs. She sat on one of the swings and sighed.

"What's going on?" Souhei asked immediately. She easily imagined the concerned look he must've had on his face.

"Meet me at the playground. I feel like I have to tell you this in person."

Souhei could not have taken any more than 15 minutes to get there. He was a little out of breath, a little disheveled, but still very good looking. For the nth time, Yuki wondered why he didn't have a girlfriend yet. He was so charming and funny, any girl at school would've been stupid to say turn him down. Of course, Yuki liked to think she might've had something to do with it, but that really wasn't what occupied her thoughts at the moment. Nothing seemed more important than the shocking reality that try as she might, she was utterly unable to turn into a wolf.

"Yuki! What the heck was that about?" Souhei complained. He plopped into the swing next to her, fanning the collar of his shirt as he caught his breath. "I thought you might've hurt yourself—or worse, you forgot today was your algebra final and went in there totally unprepared."

"The day I flunk an exam is the day you become a J-pop superstar," Yuki joked. They laughed for a little bit, talked about how quickly the school year had flown by and how hot that summer was going to be, when finally it was time for her to tell him what had happened. "Souhei, I can't turn into a wolf anymore."

He blinked a few times, as if she had spoken to him in a foreign language. "What do you mean you can't turn into a wolf?"

"I mean that last night, I woke up because of those dreams of me as a wolf in the countryside, and I got up and wanted to turn into a wolf and I couldn't do it." Yuki winced at the anxiety she heard flooding her own voice. Why does this bother me as much as it does? I mean, in a way… isn't this what I wanted?

Souhei furrowed his eyebrows and replied, "Is this the first time this happened?"

"Yes."

"When was the last time you turned into a wolf?" he asked.

Yuki remembered it as clearly as if it had just happened yesterday. She was on her way home with Souhei that lazy Sunday afternoon when she heard a woman crying out frantically a few blocks away from them.

"Tatahiro!" she cried. "Baby, where are you? Tatahiro!" Yuki and Souhei looked at each other. They knew immediately this woman was missing her child.

"Excuse me, you two!" the woman called out. "Have you seen a little boy wearing a—a blue shirt and khaki shorts? He's about this tall. He—he was just with me a few minutes ago, and then we were at the intersection and the next thing I knew he was gone." She was sobbing freely now, clutching her son's little jacket as if her life depended on it.

"No, ma'am, unfortunately we—" Souhei began, but was cut off by Yuki suddenly stepping forward and leaning over the jacket. The woman was rather taken aback, Yuki knew, but she didn't really care. A small voice in her head was screaming, fighting the impulse to help this woman even as she inhaled the boy's scent lingering on the jacket. Even in her human body, Yuki possessed some of the faculties of her wolf form. "What are you—"

She didn't hear another word from the woman. She ran off, pulling on her hoodie over her head and willing her wolf ears and nose to come out and track down this lost boy. It took her a split second to make the decision, even though, in hindsight, it was completely illogical. They could've called 110 and asked for help from the police, or they could've walked about themselves while calling out for Tatahiro. But Yuki simply couldn't have lived with herself knowing that there was more she could do for the woman and her child.

Yuki eventually found the boy crying under the shade of someone's cherry blossom tree, calling desperately for his mama. There were two women attempting to soothe him, and it took all of Yuki's persuasive powers to convince them that she was there to bring Tatahiro back to his mother. When she was able to track the mother and Souhei in turn, she was greeted by a look of fear and wonder in the mother's eyes. Of course, she was grateful, but Yuki could only imagine how odd the woman must've thought she was, how bizarre it must've been to her that this stranger was able to find her child almost as if by magic.

Yuki shivered at the mere thought of that woman's gaze. She must've thought I was some freak, Yuki thought bitterly. "That was at least six months ago, and I haven't turned since." She fought every urge to cry, overwhelmed by the tangle of emotions that flooded her chest. "I mean, this can't be right, can it? I know I've been fighting that side of me all these years, but it's not like I wanted it to be gone completely. I mean, I don't think I did… I just… I don't know." At that moment, it was impossible to wrap her mind around what was going on. Yuki knew that by all intents and purposes, this should've been something for her to celebrate. This would have simplified everything for Yuki; at long last, she no longer had to struggle to be more human than wolf, because human was all she could be. But instead, she felt like something had broken inside of her, something that suddenly mattered more than everything she thought she cared about.

They had been quiet for a while when Souhei finally decided to break the silence. "Well then, it's clear what we need to do," he said quietly as he stood up.

"What is that?" Yuki was so caught up in thinking about what this could mean for her that for an instant she forgot Souhei was there at all. When she looked up at him, there was a bittersweet smile on his lips and a soft look in his eyes.

"Let's go turn you into a wolf."

I'm so excited to be writing again! I seriously haven't written anything in FOREVER, but I've been so smitten with Wolf Children recently and knew the only way to I can cope with the feels is to write a fanfic. Hope y'all liked this first chapter! 3