Booth picked up the box and carried it out of the bedroom. "Bones? I found this in the back of the closet. Is there anything in here that you want? Or can I dump it in the trash?"
Brennan looked up from her computer and squinted, the light from the screen casting a glare across her face. "Wait. What box? Where did you find that?" she asked, putting the laptop on the seat next to her and standing up as she saw what he was holding.
Booth shrugged "In the back of the closet. I was trying to make some room and it was just shoved in there" he answered. He stopped and held the box out towards her.
Brennan's mouth dropped open slightly as she recognised the pale green cardboard box. It had an old belt around it keeping the lid closed. She reached out and touched the belt. "This was Dad's belt. I remember the lid kept falling off and he pulled it out of his jeans and did it up around the box." She started to laugh "and then his jeans kept falling down and he blamed my letter box." She stopped suddenly, her eyes widening.
"What do you mean? Your letter box?" Booth asked, frowning, curious.
Brennan took the box from him and walked over to the sofa and placed it on the coffee table and sat with her hand stroking the top of the box. She tilted her head and shrugged, her bottom lip trembling slightly. She looked up at him, her eyes clouded. Booth came and sat beside her, wrapping an arm around her back "Hey, Bones! What's wrong?" he asked, concern in the voice, his face worried that he had upset her somehow.
She leaned into him. "While Christine and I were on the run, I used to write you letters. Every night almost. Dad said I couldn't contact you, and that if I posted them, we would be found and caught. He told me that I couldn't risk it." She sniffed, and wiped a tear away from her cheek with the back of her hand "so I wrote them, sealed them in envelopes, addressed them, and then put them in this box. My letter box. See?" she whispered as she undid the belt and pulled the lid off the box.
Booth's mouth dropped open slightly and he felt a lump in his throat. Inside the box were letters. So many letters. Not bundled or in orderly piles. Just thrown in haphazardly. Each one, in a sealed envelope with their address written on it in her neat handwriting. One after the other he picked up and looked at. The envelopes were all different sizes, colours, but each with his name clearly on the front. Seeley J Booth
He held one and pressed it to his lips, his own eyes closing as they started to prick with tears.
All those months, he had sat and waited. Waited to hear from her. Anything. A letter. A postcard. A phonecall. But he hadn't received anything. It had hurt him so bad. He tried not to be bitter. But she had taken their daughter and disappeared into thin air. Leaving him standing on the sidewalk, alone. His mind replayed that scene and he felt the familiar drag in his chest. The pain of a broken heart.
Booth swallowed and opened his eyes and saw her staring at him. "I'm sorry" she whispered.
"I'll throw them away" she said firmly and stood up. Booth grabbed at the box "No! No Bones." She stared at him as they stood both holding onto the letter box. He pulled it towards himself "I want to read them."
Brennan was shaking her head, trying to wrest control of the box "No. Booth. I don't want you to. It will only hurt you again." She cried. He pulled harder on the box "what do you mean, it will hurt me? Did you write that you didn't love me? That you didn't want to come back? That I wasn't going to see you or Christine again?" he asked his voice strained, cracking.
"Of course not!" she responded, shrilly. "I wrote about how much I missed you. How much Christine missed you. I wrote about my day. I wrote about all the little milestones that you missed with Christine. I wrote that I hated being apart from you. I wrote I loved you." she said, her voice trailing off. She swallowed down the lump in her throat, her mouth downturned, eyes filling up with tears.
"Then let me read them. Please Bones?" he begged. She shook her head "Why? Why Booth? It was so long ago."
Booth kept his grip on the box "I know it was a long time ago. But. Bones. You got to live those moments. I never had them. I was here. Alone. I didn't know where you were. What you were doing. How you were surviving from day to day. If you loved me. Please Bones, let me read them? Please?" he was struggling to not cry, his face sagging.
Brennan stared at him, seeing the anguish in his face, hearing it in his voice. She released the box into his hands. "OK. Alright. But please, remember, it was a long time ago. And I was scared and didn't know what was going to happen. Please don't judge me Booth." She said.
Booth nodded, looking down at the box of letters, then back up at her "Thanks Bones. Do you want to read them with me?" he asked. She shook her head "No. That part of my life is over. I don't want to relive it. It wasn't easy for me Booth. Opening myself up like I did in some of those letters. If you want to read them, fine. But don't come to me asking me to justify or explain anything, OK?" she pleaded.
"OK." He nodded. He turned and carried the box of letters outside and into the garage. He made room on a shelf and placed the box on it and stepped back, just staring at it. He wanted to start reading, but at the same time, he wasn't sure he was ready to read her innermost thoughts and feelings, and possibly, her confessions. He stepped back and walked to the door, turning off the light as he left. Maybe tomorrow he thought to himself. I'll start reading them tomorrow
Booth.
Dear Booth.
Darling Booth.
Dear Booth.
I don't even know how to start a letter to you.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about everything. Christine and I are fine. We are with Dad now. We were only on our own for a week before he caught up with us. Just in case you were worried about that.
I'm not sure really what to tell you. I did what I thought was best for you. And for Christine. Myself, well I don't really care about myself right now. I've hurt you. I understand that. But you must understand. If I stayed, that would have been so much worse for you. And I couldn't take that chance.
We're staying in a motel. It's not very nice. But it's clean. Christine has cried every night. She misses your bedtime stories. I suppose I shouldn't have told you that, you'll probably be sadder than you already are now.
Our first week, was a bit scary. I only had some basic instructions from Dad. He had given me an address for a motel, an envelope full of cash and a car. All untraceable he assured me. And I wasn't allowed to buy anything unless I paid cash. Christine and I pretty much stayed inside for the entire week. It wasn't easy. Christine crying all the time. I cried a lot too to be honest.
I missed you. I missed your arms around me. Your voice close to my ear, telling me I would be fine, that everything would be OK. I missed your smile. I missed you Booth.
I know that everyone will be doing everything they can to clear me. And then I'll be able to come home to you.
I want that more than anything in the world.
I want to come home.
I love you
Temperance
Dear Booth
I hope you are OK. I'm not doing so good. I'm lonely.
Christine is well. She's eating again. I got worried when she stopped. I suppose it was an emotional response to being moved again. Dad says we have to keep moving. Something about not leaving a footprint. But I hate it.
I can't believe it's been a month. I want to ask how everyone is doing. How the case is going. But it's a futile exercise because I know you won't be able to answer. A whole month. Do you miss me? Are you angry at me? Will you even want me to come home? I have all these questions in my head. They keep me awake at night. I want nothing more than to just curl up against your warm body and hear you breathing at night. I want to feel your arms around me.
I'm blonde now. Dad told me to dye my hair. I don't like it at all. Perhaps that's why Christine stopped eating? Maybe she didn't recognise me?
We're going to be moving again in two days. We've been here for two weeks. Dad says that's probably four days too long. He was waiting on a contact to set us up somewhere else. He says we will be able to say there for about a month if all goes well. It will be nice to stay in one place for more than a week or two.
I'm so tired Booth.
I love you
Temperance
Dear Booth
How are you? Any progress? I'm getting scared that Pelant is going to get away with this. That he will win.
I know that most of you have been taken off the case. Don't ask me how. I can't tell you. But I know it's taking longer than I hoped.
Christine said her first words this week! She says DaDa now. And Pop. And Mama. She's growing up so fast. I feel so bad that you aren't here to see her. She's so big! Her hair is growing and she's getting little curls around her face and neck. I show her pictures of you Booth. I'm making sure she doesn't forget you. You are her father. She will know that. No matter how long we are apart, I will always make sure she remembers you.
I have a job! I'm flipping pancakes at a diner. It's quite satisfying doing menial work. I haven't done anything like this since I was in college. The pay is minimal but it helps. I wear one of those uniforms like you see in movies with the white aprons. It's itchy. Dad looks after Christine while I'm at work.
We've changed our car again. I got mad because I left Christine's favourite blanket in the back seat. She wouldn't go to sleep for days. I've bought her another one with kittens on it. Dad's been looking after us well.
I just want to come home to you Booth. I just want this all to be over, and to come home.
All my love Booth. All of it.
Temperance
Dear Booth
This is just a quick note. Dad has told me that something big is about to happen and that we have to move again.
We've been staying in a beautiful place. Green fields all around us. I like to take Christine out and sit on a blanket and play with her in the sunshine. She picked up a photo of us together and pointed at you and said DaDa. I wish you were here.
I had to quit my job today. We're leaving tomorrow. Max said that it's getting close. I hope so.
I miss you so much, I actually understand now when people say their hearts are broken, because mine is broken. I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling. I suspect you might still be angry with me. All I can do is keep apologising.
I just want to see your eyes and hear your voice tell me that it's all over. I want to kiss you and make love to you. I want to see you hold our daughter and kiss her and tell her she's safe. I just want it to be over.
I hope I'll be home soon. I want to be home.
I love you
Temperance
Booth gathered up the letters he had read and put them back in the box. He'd read forty two letters in no particular order. Letter after letter, her telling him she loved him and that she missed him. About how much Christine had grown. About mundane things like the weather and part time jobs she had taken on. And there were so many more in the box. She had written him a letter almost every night she was gone. Some long, some just four or five lines. But she had written them to him. for him Three months of her life, scribbled onto pieces of paper and sealed into envelopes like little time capsules.
He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and mopped his face. He blew his nose and pushed it back down into his pocket. He picked up the lid and replaced it, pushing it down. He picked up the old belt and wrapped it around the box, securing the buckle at the top. Picking up the box, Booth carried it back to the shelving and put it up onto the top shelf, pushing it all the way to the back. He stook staring at the box for a few minutes, then smiled, and walked out of the garage.
Brennan was sitting on the floor playing with Christine. Building a tower from brightly coloured blocks with pictures of animal on them. "Cow!" Christine chortled waving a block with a dog on it. "No baby. That's a dog. Doggy." Brennan tried to correct her. "Cow!" Christine said laughing and threw the block at the tower knocking it over. "Christine" Brennan slumped and stared at the fallen blocks with disappointment.
Booth stood watching them for a moment. Imagining them sitting like this in a field of green, with wild flowers waving around them. Blue skies above. Trying to live like they had a normal life. He swallowed, then stepped towards them "So where's this cow Christine?" he said squatting and then sitting next to his daughter. She giggled and handed the block to her father. Booth looked at the block and then looked at Brennan. "She's sort of right you know. This is a very odd looking dog" he said holding up the block. "I'm with Christine. It's a cow" he laughed a big booming laugh that made Brennan smile, then join in with him.
"Booth?" Brennan finally said, her eyes questioning. She knew he'd been in the garage.
Booth shrugged and shook his head. Brennan crawled towards him and sat between his legs, leaning back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her body, holding her tightly. "It's all OK" he whispered. She nodded and leaned her head back into his shoulder. "But, I really hated that blonde hair" he said. She turned and stared at him and then laughed out loud. "Me too" she replied.
He reached up and cupping her face, kissing her lips. Their kiss interrupted by a block hitting Booth on the head.
"Hey! Christine!" he said.
"Cow!" she yelled and giggled.
Booth picked up the block and looked at it, then stared at Brennan before bursting out laughing. He held the block up to show her a picture of a pig. "I'm guessing everything is going to be a cow" he said, wiping tears of laughter from his face. Brennan frowned "No. That can't be right." She picked up a bright green block with a yellow cat on it and gave it to Christine "Look at the pretty cat" she said encouragingly.
"Cow!" Christine said happily.
Booth chortled as he pulled Christine towards them lifting her onto Brennan's lap and then wrapped them both up in his arms.
"Cow!" Christine kicked her legs and giggled.
"Wanna test our theory?" Booth laughed into Brennan's ear. Brennan turned and frowned. "What do you mean?" she asked. Booth picked up a block and gave it to Christine.
Christine waved the block in the air yelling "Cat!" before sucking on the corner of the bright blue block with a black and white cow on it. They burst out laughing at their daughter. "I think she's playing us" Booth said merrily, then leaned down and kissed Bones' neck.
"Your letters were beautiful. I love you Bones" he whispered in her ear. "Always have, always will"
Brennan closed her eyes and relaxed back in the arms of the man she adored. She had worried about him reading those letters. She had poured her heart out in them. Despaired of ever returning to him in them. Apologised to him in them. Cried to him in them.
She had kept them hidden for so long. Not wanting to relive that part of her life. She had hurt him badly and never ever wanted to do that again.
His arms tightened around her as if he knew what she was thinking. As if to say you're safe now, you're here with me. We'll never be apart again. Nothing and nobody will ever separate us again.
Her eyes closed and she sighed, never again