TWEWY AU ONESHOT – general disclaimer, this is a fan made work
Author's Note: I've been an avid twewy fan since 2008, and have plotted out many a twewy fanfic that I never actually posted. That changes today. I hope you enjoy.
Summary: In another timeline, Neku was just your average misanthropic teen who got into trouble one too many times. His latest escapade has landed him in the hospital with a few broken bones. He soon discovers broken bones aren't the worst thing that can happen to you…an annoying, giggling roommate is by far worse.
The sky was dark and moody, heavy with gray clouds that were far too proud to shed their tears over the ground. It was a perfectly miserable day with not a hint of warm sunlight for miles around. Streets were empty but for the occasional car whisking away to do some errand.
A quiet ambulance pulled up to the hospital, bearing within a teenager just as grumpy as the sky outside. This was the second time he had tried to sneak out of the hospital after spending just three days cooped up inside its stifling compounds. He was sick of the bleak white walls and the smell of people dying. He wanted fresh air and freedom. There was no way he could stay there for a month.
"You should have thought of that before you tried scribbling paint on the bottom of a bridge ten feet over your head," his mother had scolded when she visited him after his first escape. So the tag didn't go quite as planned and he broke a few ribs…and fractured his arm….and leg …big deal. He was almost a legal adult and that meant he could do what he wanted. He knew it was dangerous and accepted the risk. It wasn't his fault some drunk guy fell into his ladder and sent him crashing into the road. He really hated people. They ruined everything.
And now here he was being escorted to a new room deeper in the hospital where they could keep a better watch on him. His bum leg made him fairly easy to catch, especially now that they were expecting him to run away.
Neku grumbled as he was shown to his new room. A curtain divided it in two and just like all the other rooms in this droll place, everything was white, bland, and boring. People included. His nurse smiled politely and led him to bed.
"Hey. My last room I got to myself," Neku grumbled rather stiffly as he gestured to the curtain. The nurse merely kept on smiling.
"Yes, and your new roommate has been told to hit the call button if he sees you trying to open the window," she said sweetly. "Now try to get some rest. If you keep aggravating your injuries, you'll only make your stay longer."
He couldn't stand it. He had to be quiet so as not to disturb his roommate, he couldn't draw because his arm was in a cast, the food was absolute garbage, and he swore he wasn't getting an ounce better.
Neku sighed as he flopped his spiky orange hair against his over fluffed pillow and let himself lay there, mood a reflection of the crap weather outside. If it had at least been sunny, being here would have been just a tinge better. But no. Just storm clouds and misery for him.
And a tattle tale too.
He didn't see his roommate for three days, but he knew he was over there. Why? Because he did indeed try for the window that very afternoon, and not five minutes later, his doctor and nurse were standing in the door with disapproval and his mother was on the phone.
It wasn't until his fourth day sharing the room that he caught a glimpse of his neighbor. A slender boy with silvery blonde hair was peeking out the window. He was so pale he blended in right well with the walls of the stupid white room. But then he caught a flash of color. Deep, rich, lavender had briefly rested on him, a splash of bright paint on a stark white canvas. An unusual and utterly entrancing shade that he didn't know was natural for eye coloration. Then the boy was naught but a silhouette behind his curtain. For the first time, Neku had the urge to try to talk to his roommate, even if he was a tattle tale. The silence was way too stifling. He missed his music.
"Hey…kid….what's your name?"
Silence hung for so long Neku was sure the kid was either ignoring him or he was deaf. But he soon learned that wasn't the case.
"You don't even know my name? We've only been living together for nearly a week, Neku. That's plenty of time to memorize something as simple as the name of the person you're sleeping with."
Neku stared and blinked. "Look, kid, it was a simple question. You don't have to be such an ass about it."
Suddenly the boy wasn't a silhouette anymore. He tugged the curtain just enough to slip through and face Neku, legs dangling over the edge of the bed and smile on his face. Neku had been right. He was a pale little thing with wavy hair and a powder blue button down shirt that had gone through the wash so many times that it was long faded.
"Oh very well. I suppose since you seem so incapable despite my name having been mentioned twice to you the day you set foot into my room, I'll tell you. My name is Joshua. And you are Neku, resident grump who likes to break rules and dreams of burning down the building."
"I do not want to burn down the building. I just want to get out of it."
"Well aren't you just a pile of counter-productivity," the boy, Joshua, said as he got up and strolled on over. He placed a hand on Neku's leg. The gesture seemed innocent enough until he gave a tight squeeze and a spasm of pain shot through Neku, making him curse and bite his tongue.
"Heh heh heh. Good night, Neku," the boy smirked as he waved and Neku glared back. The stupid kid didn't even look sick. Pale, sure, a little skinny, fine, but he carried himself without any hesitation. Neku heard him cough once in a blue moon but that was it. He was probably faking being sick for attention. Neku's hands fisted as he sent dirty looks towards those drawn curtains where he heard another giggle slip through.
He regretted making that first attempt at conversation….because after that, Joshua came over to talk to him every day.
Neku had his head buried under his pillow that evening, but even that wouldn't drown out the giggling coming from the foot of his bed. It was the third time Joshua had 'graced him with his presence' this week and he was so done with it. Who knew he'd miss the days of lying in bed going mentally insane from boredom?
"We're roomies, you and I, so we should at least get to know each other a little better~ All I know about you is that you're a public menace who defaces private property and hates the restrictions of society. You sure do seem to want to shut out the whole world. Heh heh heh. "
Neku didn't respond. First off, he wasn't a public menace. Second, how did that brat know all that stuff? Neku sure as hell wasn't going to tell him he was spot on in his guessing.
"You know, your clothes are way out of style. If you ever get out of here, try investing time into getting new threads …. And then burning your current ones. "
Don't respond. That was what he kept telling himself.
"So did you just give up on schooling? I've already gotten my diploma. Heh heh I figured I should get that out of the way when I could, so I would have more time for other things. But judging from your injuries, I'm guessing you haven't made much progress towards getting your own education."
Neku groaned and pressed the pillow more tightly against his ears.
After two weeks with Joshua, it was a relief when his mother came to visit him. Those were the only days now that Joshua stayed behind his curtain, quiet as if he wasn't there. His mother didn't even know Neku had a roommate until a nurse came in to check on the little cretin.
Unfortunately the realization made his mom stop in her worrying over how slowly Neku was healing. He'd have rather listen to her prattle on about how it was probably because he kept trying to do things he shouldn't be doing that he wasn't going to be out by the end of the month than see her turn her curious eyes upon that curtain and ask why Neku hadn't introduced her to his new friend.
"He's not my friend. Besides…he's usually asleep," he lied, but as the nurse was leaving, she was bidding Joshua a sweet adieu and chuckling.
"He's such a charming thing when he wants to be," she said as she gave a small wave to Neku and his mother before exiting. Luckily when his mother tried to greet Joshua, only silence came back to her. She seemed put out, but Neku preferred she not meet that kid.
Joshua didn't make an appearance that day until an hour after Neku's mother had left. Just when he thought he'd have a nice Josh-less day, there he was sitting on the edge of his bed. But what caught Neku off guard was the lack of smile. Joshua was staring out at the door, simply contemplative.
"You know, the reason you aren't getting better is because you're so miserable all of the time. You hate being here, but you hate being out there too. With so much negativity, your body starts to think 'why even bother'? If you ever want to get out of here, Neku, you should try smiling," he paused, only briefly, to plaster a smile on himself. "Supposedly it's the best medicine there is."
It was their shortest conversation yet and before Neku could think of a reply, Joshua was already gone behind his curtain.
Neku gained an infection in his leg. It was Joshua who noticed it.
"Seriously, Neku, you didn't think maybe, just maybe, the pain in your leg was getting worse because something was wrong?" asked the blonde with an infuriatingly raised eyebrow, "I thought you said you wanted to get out of the hospital, not prolong your stay indefinitely."
"Yeah well I didn't think it was a big deal. It barely hurt," Neku glowered, giving Joshua a sour look. The doctors had him hooked up to antibiotics now that his injury was cleaned and redressed. Joshua was sitting on the edge of his bed, hand oh so close to said injury. Neku narrowed his eyes. He wouldn't put it past the little dick to squeeze it just because he knew it would hurt.
"You do realize even something as simple as an infection could make you lose the leg, right? Or even kill you~" he purred, speaking of death in a light sing song voice. But Neku only shrugged. He doubted very much that would have happened. In his mind, the only effect of them catching the infection was that it just made his stay longer. Even if it was just a few more days.
"Heh heh heh. Still so trapped in your tiny little ball of negativity. Careful, dear, you're radiating so much angst I'm dying over here~" Joshua sure did smile a lot. Almost constantly. It was annoying.
"What's to be happy about? You're just as stuck in this dull room as I am. I'm guessing you're supposed to be sick too even though you don't act like it. We can't go outside, we can't walk around, we can't do anything but sit here and rot," he growled. Joshua, infuriating, irritating, horrible Joshua, just giggled. Again.
"Well not going outside was your fault you know, for trying to run away so many times, and I've been giving the oh so daunting task of making sure you don't try to run again. As for the rest, well, I have your darling company to keep me smiling~" he hummed, "Heh heh, you should really learn to stop focusing on the negatives so much, Neku. Find something fun to do in that headspace of yours and enjoy the moment."
Neku froze, body rigid as his eyes widened a bit, locking onto Joshua. "What did you just say?"
"Hmm? My, such a poor listener, aren't you," Joshua's voice was so teasing as he smirked at Neku, leaning a little closer, "What do you want repeating, dear?"
"Enjoy the moment…. Doing what you want, how you want, when you want. It's like the motto of embracing the ultimate freedom."
"Ah, I see. A CAT fan, are we?"
"Hells yeah! He's the only person worth respecting," Neku chirped, a lightness in his voice that hadn't been there since he was locked up here. CAT was a local street artist and damn his works were impressive. They were masterpieces that Neku could really admire. "I'm surprised you know who CAT is," he refocused his attention on Joshua, a bit of curiosity in his tone now.
"Well of course I know who CAT is, Neku. I AM a teenager, and he IS the most popular artist in Shibuya. Gatito is trending more often than not, and I like to stay on top of the trends," he smiled, twirling a strand of hair around his finger. CAT wasn't just some trend to Neku though, no way. CAT was beyond trends.
Neku gave a single half of a chuckle, "I have a limited edition set of headphones from Gatito," he mentioned, his pride and joy. What prompted him to spit that out, no clue, but he liked talking about CAT. He didn't really have anyone he knew that liked CAT. Though he also didn't exactly have friends, so that was probably why.
"Do you now? That's fascinating," Joshua hummed, looking at Neku with bright and curious eyes. He giggled and smirked, getting Neku to tilt his head just a hair in the universal question of 'what?'
"Neku. You're smiling."
Their talks became a little less one sided after that. Neku assured himself it was just because he was bored out of his skull and his mother refused to bring his music. Punishment for getting himself stuck in here and trying to run away, she claimed. So that only left Joshua. But it wasn't as painful to be around him anymore. Well…not always anyway. Some days the blonde boy still made Neku want to drive a spike through his head, but miraculously, those days were becoming less frequent. Only like four days a week instead of seven.
They talked about art mostly, when Joshua wasn't carrying the conversation with condescension and useless trivia that Neku didn't ask about. Sometimes they talked about music. Neku had never pegged Joshua as someone who would be so knowledgeable about music, but the kid knew his stuff. At first, he seemed the classical type, talking pianos and violins, but then he mentioned connecting an amp to a violin and playing something far more hip hop in front of the Udagawa CAT mural, and that turned into an entire talk about modernizing classical instruments in fun new ways.
"When people are told what something is for, they let themselves think that's the only thing it can do. They blind themselves from the world of possibilities," Joshua had said, "Try looking at something and finding its hidden potential, instead of just taking it at face value. It's the things we think we know the most about that can surprise us the most." It was a topic Neku had never really thought about, but he found himself pretty engrossed in the discussion. It was that day he had also learned that Joshua had always wanted to play music for a huge audience, to be a grand composer who made works so powerful that people were filled with emotion and inspiration when they listened.
Neku would still always shove Joshua off the bed when the other came within shoving distance, but his scowls and growls lost their venom to them half the time (and only half the time). Neku was never going to admit to anyone, not Joshua, and not even to himself, that he had grown to actually enjoy the company.
Neku briefly recalled waking up in the middle of the night because of an alarm. His vision was blurry and his mind groggy from medication as it registered white coats in his room, doctors talking as they rushed in. But by the time his brain woke up fully, nothing was amiss and he dismissed it all as a dream.
He felt better and lighter than he had in days. The infection in his leg was completely gone, and the bones had healed up well in his leg and arm. Neku took to getting out of bed and just walking around whenever he had the chance just because he could. Stretching and smiling as he walked to the window, he paused at the sound of a curtain being drawn back.
"You're not still thinking of running, are you~? You're supposed to stay until your ribs aren't a hot mess anymore, Neku," came the lilting voice of one Joshua Kiryu.
Neku turned around to look at him, a half smile on his face. "Hey, Josh. You're up," well yeah duh he was up. Way to be redundant Neku.
"Heh heh heh. I am. You know, I always go to your bed for our darling chats. Isn't it about time you came to my bed? You always make me do all the work~"
Neku rolled his eyes, but he obliged, sitting on the edge of the other's bed. "I wasn't going to run, you know. I've already been here a month, what's another week or two?" he shrugged.
"Heh heh, that's the spirit. My, Neku, you sure have changed," Joshua smirked at Neku's shrug.
"Enjoy the moment, right? I don't have to bother with school or annoying classmates or parents bitching at me while I'm here. I've had lots of time to think about my next tag too. I'm thinking something with music at its core. You said you used to write music, right?"
Joshua gave a nod, "Mmmm, yes. I compose every now and then, when I have the time," he giggled, twirling his hair.
"Yeah, well give me one of your compositions then. It'll be a cooler tag if the notes I put on it can actually be played and mean something," Neku replied, pointedly turning away and scratching his nose, staring out the window again.
Joshua blinked in surprise. It was rare for Neku to earn such an open expression from him, and even rarer for it to last more than a breath. But there it was. Finally the blonde smiled again, giggling, "oooh to be featured in a Sakuraba original, I'd be honored~"
"Yeah yeah, just make sure it sounds good."
For the next few days, Neku came over to Joshua's bed, sitting beside him while he showed Neku some of his compositions, humming their tunes to give Neku a sense of their sound. He lent him paper and pens to start sketching out ideas. The collaboration became their entire days.
"Why aren't you finishing your recovery at home, anyway? Surely you're passed the danger mark that requires constant supervision," Neku was lounging on Josh's bed when the blonde asked him that. The ginger blinked up at him. "Not that I tire of your company, dear, you're scathing looks are a blessing to behold and your barbed tongue sends chills down my spine," he giggled. Neku rolled his eyes.
"Stop that. And it's because my mom works all day. She couldn't be there to take care of me, and she was worried I'd do something stupid without supervision."
"And she's not wrong."
"Shut up."
"heh heh heh."
Neku glanced at Joshua beside him, resting so casually with pillows holding him up so he could page through some more of the drawings Neku had made over the past week. "What about you? Why aren't you at home?" Actually….what was Joshua even in here for?
"Hmm?" mused the blonde, barely glancing over at Neku, "Ah. I originally came in with a fever. Now I'm on watch just in case, and my guardians would rather have me in doctors' hands rather than hiring someone to watch at home," he smiled.
"….Just for a fever?" Neku raised a brow and Joshua pursed his lips in a pout.
"It was a terrible fever, don't you have any pity for my poor sweet body? I could have died!" Joshua gave a wistful sigh, eyes closed and hand over his heart like a little prima-donna. Neku still thought it weird but hey. Whatever. People did weird things all the time, and Joshua charmed the doctors and nurses to the point that he wouldn't be surprised that they were letting him stay even when he didn't need to be here. His family must have been loaded though for them to be able to afford to overnight Joshua in a freaking hospital for so long for something as simple as the flu.
"Now, about this little doodle, I like this one the best, it's the cutest," Joshua hummed, pushing Neku's sketches back in his hands, and now Neku scowled.
"They're not doodles, they're rough drafts. And my work isn't 'cute' so don't call it that."
"Heh heh heh. Whatever you say, dear."
"My, Neku, you're practically bouncing off the walls," Joshua hummed as Neku animatedly spoke about where he was going to put the tag he had designed with Joshua.
"Hell yeah, I am. This is going to be the best piece I've ever done," he smiled bright. His mother was going to be coming the next day and Neku was finally getting discharged. He was going to get this tag up as soon as he could. "You're going to cry when you finally see it finished. That's how awesome it's going to be."
"Hee hee, oh is that so? Can I see your final draft now? Please~?" he purred, leaning forward to try to grab the colored drawing in Neku's hand, but the red head pulled away, hopping to his feet with picture in hand. "Nekuuu~ What if I died tomorrow and didn't get to see your lovely drawing~? Are you really going to deny me?" he fluttered his eye lashes and put out his bottom lip, but Neku just smirked, shaking his head and stashing the piece over on his side of the room.
"Not a chance, Josh. You'll have to wait until you're out of here before you see it. It won't take that long, I bet. Don't worry," he hummed. Joshua just kept pouting, falling back against his pillow with folded arms.
"Goodness, Neku, you're such a horrible tease."
The drawing wasn't even that far away, but Neku knew Joshua wouldn't scramble to grab it. For one, now that Neku was all healed, he could easily over power the blonde. For two, Joshua never got out of bed anymore, the lazy little princess. He would have Neku wait on him hand and foot for every trivial thing if he could. And when he couldn't, he called a nurse and gave her puppy eyes. It was ridiculous.
"Nothing's stopping you from stealing it in the night," Neku noted, folding his arms as well. Joshua just let out an exasperated sigh, dramatically resting his hand on his forehead and letting his other arm dangle over the edge of the bed.
"But it's all the way over there, and that's soooo far away~" he pouted. Neku rolled his eyes, taking his pillow and chucking it at Joshua, smacking him right in the face. The blonde giggled and threw the pillow back.
He was getting discharged today. It was strange, Neku remembered when he first entered this hospital, every day seemed to drag on for an eternity. Now it seemed like a month and a half had flown by. He was as healthy as can be physically, and he felt better mentally than he had in ages. Which he had to guess had something to do with his roommate. His….dare he say it….friend.
Neku wasn't used to having friends. He'd been alone so long, simply because he thought others brought him down. Always wanting, always trying to make him only see what they wanted him to see, think only how they wanted him to think. Choking him with their judgment and noisy idiocy. So he long learned to just tune everyone out and stay in his own little world. But then Joshua decided to keep knocking on the door, and when he opened that door to yell at him, the little brat somehow managed to sneak in….and it hadn't been awful. It was actually nice….like Joshua opened all the windows in his little world and he got a breath of fresh air. Maybe staying in his own head all the time wasn't the best. He couldn't clash and develop his own thoughts if the only opinions he heard were his own, and unlike many of the people who tried to encroach on him before, he could be himself around Joshua. Even if they didn't understand each other, there wasn't judgment because they knew it was impossible to really completely understand another person, but they accepted each other anyway.
Neku couldn't help but really wonder though. Joshua was definitely not the type of person he'd ever thought he'd befriend, and yet being around the blonde had become so easy. How many other people had he turned away without giving them even a chance? How many Joshuas had he let pass him by before this one particularly obnoxious one decided he wasn't going to be ignored? How many instruments did he assume he already knew every note they could play?
He snickered at the thought, which caught the attention of said obnoxious one over in the other bed.
"Daydreaming, Neku? I hope it's about me~"
"Ha ha, you're hilarious," Neku rolled his eyes. He wasn't going to admit he was actually thinking about Joshua. It would be too much of an ego stroke for him.
"So. You're heading home soon, hm? All packed up and ready to go?" Joshua hummed, looking towards Neku with that ever present smile. Neku smiled back, soft, not nearly as smarmy as Joshua's.
"Yeah. Didn't really have much to pack, so," he shrugged, placing a small bag on his bed before walking over to Joshua's and leaning on his bed.
"And there's still no convincing you to give me that lovely little final draft of your self-proclaimed masterpiece?" he raised an eye brow, but Neku just chuckled and shook his head.
"Not on your life. See the mural when it's finished like everyone else. You know where it'll be. I'll wait for you there once you've got the green light to leave the hospital. Alright?" he asked, looking at Joshua expectantly. He hadn't really thought about meeting up after he was discharged, but after all the time they spent together, it felt natural to continue this friendship once it was no longer forced on them.
"Awww, you want to spend time with me even outside too, when you have more options? I'm tickled pink, Neku~" he giggled, delicate hand flittering over his heart as he smiled and tilted his head just enough to make his bangs bounce.
"Of course. You're my…..friend. So deal with it, and meet up with me like a regular friend instead of an unwanted roommate."
Joshua blinked at the seriousness Neku was speaking with. He had grown used to their back and forth little banters, and he had expected to be met with more bite. Not something so mushy. He smiled and giggled. Neku was always so full of surprises. "Well, I hope you don't regret deciding I'm your friend, Neku."
"Neku? Are you ready to go?" called a voice from the door. The boys paused, looking over at the door as Neku's mother walked in. She seemed surprised to see Neku leaning on the other's bed, casually chatting and looking relaxed. She was even more surprised when Neku waved at Joshua with a heartfelt goodbye.
"Remember, we're meeting up when you're out, so get well soon. Don't keep me waiting," he called to the blonde as he grabbed his bag and went to his mom's side.
Joshua didn't reply. He could only muster a big, warm smile at Neku, giggling with a little wave, and Neku beamed back before finally leaving the hospital behind.
He never would have guessed that after finally being free from the confines of the horrible white building, that just three days later, he'd be heading back in. But here he was, one Neku Sakuraba, entering into the hospital of his own free will.
The nurse was surprised to see him. He just smiled at her, told her he was visiting a friend. He knew the way. Joshua was in the same room as always, though now it was distinctly lacking a second bed.
"Hey. No new roommate?" Neku called in, leaning against the door frame. Joshua perked up. He had a book in his hands but he quickly discarded it. For a breath, Neku hesitated. It had only been three days, but Joshua…looked paler than before? He looked tired. Maybe it was just because Neku was used to being outside in the bright and colorful again. He walked in to the smiling face of his friend.
"Heh heh, nope. I'm afraid the beginnings of another fever are coming on. Can't have anyone else being in here when I start coughing up my lungs~" he giggled, though the giggle was cut short as Joshua cleared his throat and settled. "So. What do I owe this irrevocable pleasure?"
"What, I need a reason to visit my friend?" Neku pulled himself up to sit on the edge of the bed.
"My, aren't you charming. And here I thought now that you were free, you'd run off and never look back."
Neku just shrugged, "Nah. I can't just run ahead you know. Gotta look back and make sure you're following me."
"Heh heh heh, aww, Neku. If you spend all your time looking backwards, you'll miss seeing what's ahead of you," Joshua smiled briefly before turning to send a cough against his elbow. He wiped his mouth with a dainty little 'ooh, pardon me'. Then it was back to all smiles.
"Oh, hey. These are the headphones I mentioned. CAT exclusive," Neku brushed his fingers against large high quality purple headphones that were resting around his shoulders. He pulled them off for Joshua to inspect, and said blonde did so with a keen eye.
"Hmmm, yes, it is nice work. I bet they sound top notch too. CAT isn't one to skimp on quality. These haven't been on the market for a few years either. Barely a scratch on them too. Heh heh, if you ever sold them, you could make a tiny fortune," he hummed and Neku snagged them back.
"I'd never sell these, are you crazy? Am I going to have to watch you to make sure you don't steal them?" he raised a brow and Joshua just giggled, twirling his hair.
They chatted all through visiting hours until a nurse came in to tell Neku he had to say goodbye. Joshua's hand briefly reached out though, loosely grabbing Neku's fingers as he made to get up.
"You know….you don't need to visit me. You could spend the time making new friends instead of skipping school to come here. I know you need to go to school, we already talked about your dismal education," he chuckled. His fingers uncurled from Neku's and the ginger looked at him quietly for a long moment.
"You're acting weird, Joshua…your fever getting to you? You now you can't stop me from doing what I want anyway. Enjoy the moment, remember? Do what I want, when I want. So if I want to visit you, suck it up and deal with it," he folded his arms, looking no nonsense and just waiting for Joshua to protest. But he didn't. Instead he just burst out into genuine laughter, wiping a stray tear from his eye. Joshua smiled bright and beautiful as he tilted his head and nodded. Neku nodded back with another bye. Just as he was at the door though, Joshua's soft voice reached him one last time.
"Hey, Neku? Thank you."
"For what?" Neku paused, looking back at his friend with a confused glance. Joshua looked so serene, lacking the usual teasing smirk, his eyes staring at him with such sincerity. But then those eyes closed, his hand reaching up to twirl a bit of his hair. The smirk slid into place.
"Heh heh heh. For making this last month and a half so delightful. You were oh so fun to tease."
Of course. Neku rolled his eyes, "Yeah yeah. I'll see you tomorrow, Josh."
"Don't forget to keep smiling, Neku."
The next day, everything came crashing down.
Neku noticed something wrong the moment he reached the hallway that held Joshua's room. There was noise everywhere. People crowded at a room. Neku's pace picked up, his brain not even registering that he had broken into a sprint. Someone was crying. Wailing. A woman. With a skid, Neku reached the door, pushing past a nurse without even a glance or an apology. His whole body went cold at what he saw.
Joshua was hooked up to a ventilator that was splattered with tiny droplets of blood. His eyes were half lidded and his hair was soaked with sweat. A nurse was standing on one side of the bed, watching but not…not doing anything. And on the other side, was a woman with pale blonde hair. It was limp though, not like Joshua's soft, usually bouncy curls. Worn out like life had chewed her up and spit her out. She was clutching Joshua's hand like a life line, crying out as tears ran down her face. Joshua was watching her, he thought. It was hard to tell with how cloudy his eyes were.
"Son, you can't be here," someone said beside Neku, but he couldn't process the words. He just shoved them away and pushed further into the room, catching the attention of everyone but the woman by the bed. His eyes locked with Joshua's paling lavender. Paint on a canvas, he had thought once. A splash of color in a bland world.
Those eyes sparkled at seeing Neku and Joshua's face split with a brilliant smile. Then the light faded completely and a single monotone beep filled the silence that followed. Nobody moved and for a heartbeat, Neku didn't either. But then he snapped to attention, turning to the doctors. Why were they just standing there? What about defibrillators?
"What are you just standing around for?! HELP HIM! He's DYING!" Neku heard his voice rip from his throat. Despite his yelling, the solitary beep was still screaming in his ears. The doctors and nurses looked at him, their expressions growing sad, but it only made Neku get angry. He pushed past them all to try to grab at Joshua. He took health once. He could do chest compressions. But someone grabbed him, pulling him away when he only just barely managed to brush his fingers against his friend's arm. He was still warm, they could still save him.
"Neku stop! Neku, he's DNR….Neku!"
DNR, he didn't even know what they meant. He could only stare at the boy in the bed. Neku didn't even hear himself screaming as he was dragged out of the room; didn't realize he was clawing to get to Joshua. He wouldn't learn he had been crying until the next day either.
He felt like he was in a daze once he couldn't see the room anymore. Even though the machines were all off now, and the doctors and nurses were leaving, he still heard that solitary beep blaring in his ears. Neku pulled his headphones on, pressing the muffs painfully against his ears, but they did nothing to help silence the sound.
When he felt a tap on his shoulder, he nearly jumped out of his skin. A nurse, one of the ones that tended to him…and to Joshua… bent down in front of him.
"Neku….do you want me to call your mother to come pick you up?" she asked in a gentle voice, but Neku didn't process the question. He was just staring at her, his mind unable to focus on anything but Joshua.
"You let him die." It was a fact. A statement. Accusatory and tinged with bitter hate. The nurse sighed.
"He was DNR, Neku….he signed forms that made it so … if his heart failed, we couldn't help him. He chose this, Neku."
"Why? Why would he choose to let himself die?" Neku spat, hands turning into fists. She had to be lying. Right? Joshua had wanted to do so much. He had so many plans for what he'd do if he was out of the hospital.
"Living was painful for him. There was no chance of getting better. He was going to continue to degrade until there was nothing left of him. Neku…he signed those papers saying he'd rather just let himself die instead of prolonging a half-life."
"But…but he was fine! He was talking, happy, nothing was wrong!"
"He had a very good month, Neku. It happens sometimes, a rebound where he seems to get better right before a crash."
The ginger sat there, body trembling. Neku was just there yesterday. Joshua hadn't said a goddamn word about….any of this! Neku never even knew his sickness was so serious! He thought…he thought Joshua had been faking. But he had been slowly dying the whole time?
"What the HELL" he cursed, squeezing his eyes closed and pressing his hands against his headphones again. Nothing the nurse said next managed to get through, and it was like this, curled in on himself, that his mother found him twenty minutes later.
Neku learned a lot about Joshua in the week that followed. He had attended the funeral. It had been a small affair, Joshua's nurses and doctors making up the bulk of the tiny procession. Neku had been the only person there under thirty. He had also met Joshua's mother properly. His mother hadn't been able to visit him often…she worked two jobs just so she could afford the hospital bills. His father was out of the picture just like Neku's. Joshua had been in and out of the hospital practically all his life, until he became a permanent resident five years ago. He'd spent most of that time alone. All alone.
The tag he had planned to do only had a small piece of Joshua's last composition on it. Neku changed his plans. He went to the back walls of Shibuya day after day, staying out as long as he could. He put every last note in a beautiful array, all down the backstreets. It was a monstrous mural covering a large expanse of wall, playing the whole song out down to every note and every rest in beautiful twirls and turns and crescendos of color. He didn't stop until the whole composition was etched out for the world to see. He knew it wouldn't last forever, but he hoped it would last a long time. Long enough for people to see it, to hear it screaming through his paint. He couldn't let the world forget about him. He wouldn't let the world forget about him.
"You could have told me, you know," he murmured quietly up at the wall, "How sick you were. I could have handled it." He could practically hear Joshua giggling at him, teasing him about Neku not noticing on his own, or that he hadn't hid it. "You never made it easy you know. Getting straight answers out of you," of course, because he'd say 'where's the fun in that?' and just twirl his hair. "…I'm glad….I got to meet you. You might not have realized it…or maybe you did…but those weeks together helped me. So I guess what I'm trying to say is…thank you. For being so insufferable and pushy….and for opening my eyes to the world around me," Neku sighed, a soft expression falling onto his face. He let the silence fill the air for a bit, closing his eyes.
There was a soft whistle from behind, and Neku turned with a spin, spotting an older man with a scruff of a beard and short brown hair. "This is some quality art," the man hummed, glancing at Neku. At his paint stained hands. "The music too, I can almost hear it jumping off the wall. It's an amazing composition….You've got some talent there, kid" he raised a brow though when Neku shook his head.
"I didn't write the song…it was written by a dear friend of mine. Right before he died."
"Ah…..Sorry, there, Phones," the man began, but Neku shook his head again.
"It's fine…" Neku began, shifting a bit awkwardly. This man was a stranger, but still. He felt the urge to tell him more. So after a beat of silence, he continued. "He wanted to touch the lives of as many as he could with his music. He said he always wanted to inspire people. To get better. Be better. So that's what I'm going to do," he smiled softly, turning back to look at the drying paint where a figure in white, his smile painstakingly captured by the artist, stood surrounded by his music. Neku turned his smile up towards the mural, wiping sweat from his face and clearing the last bit of paint off his fingers. "This is for you, Joshua."
Author's Note: Thanks for reading! I also made an animation vaguely based on this AU. You can find it on my tumblr (hawaiianbabidoll . tumblr) if you add this to the url.
/post/185744913625/here-fandom-i-made-an-animation-of-joshua-to-give