The Derogatory Diary of YeN LiN

Fandom: Doctor Who

Disclaimer: Doctor Who does not belong to YeN LiN.

Summary: This isn't real. Why do I have to suffer? What? The Doctor is real? Things like this only happened in fanfiction! Wait, am I not a real person? Am I an OC? Damn it, why can't you make me a Mary Sue instead? Why do you have to torture me? You better make me the center of universe where the main characters are in love with me if I ever survive this, you bastard!

TW: Low self-esteem, suicidal tendencies, lots of negative thoughts, sexual abuse, slave trading, incurable idiocy, etc. You have been warned.

Warning: Bad English form all around. Sorry for the headaches.

Further Warning from YeN LiN: Unrealistic situation where the 'Me' gets into bad situation and just let it go and immediately thinking about DW characters and how to make them 'mine' because, to hell with the good storyline, I am going to be a Mary Sue or 'MS' you could call me now. Hmm, that's an okay nickname, don't you think?

P.S: I don't think it would work though, the making them mine thingie... Ugh, here I go again... Get a grip, bitch! Watch out for hurricane MS!

Something impossible happened to me. I have found myself in another world, one that is completely different than my original world. I noticed immediately because the sky is of reddish colour and I was sure that it was night time before. I was in my bedroom and then I was not.

I woke up in unfamiliar place. I was alone and confused. I was at home, minding my own business and then I suddenly woke up in this alien place. I'm not very good with the unfamiliar and I'm definitely freaking out. For a long time, I wasn't aware that I have ended up in Doctor Who universe. It's not like those fanfiction where you would almost immediately find yourself on the path meeting the main characters. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm not some fictional character that some writer like to add on their favorite fandom. I'm just Me, this boring and stupid person that still couldn't figure out what to do with the life given to me. I'm nothing special and I'm not companion material. I'm not brave or smart and I'm certainly not fit enough to run around the galaxy with the Doctor. And we all know, the Doctor only took the best of humankind and I'm definitely not that. If I'm truly a fictional original character some writer made then I would like to punch said writer for not giving me the best quality characteristic to survive the upcoming trouble. You fucking asshat!

Anyway, I met someone and I immediately latch on him, begging for help, because I was lost and scared. I was hoping that person is trustworthy but of course, he was not. He was kind, at first, gave me food and water and comforted me. Then he took me to a place and sold me to a slave trader. And much to my horror, the slave trader is alien in nature with red skin and fin on top of his head. I might be into Doctor Who but it would still surprise me to see real-life alien, mind you, so I understandably freaked out even more. I was push into a cage-like prison. There were lot of people, both human and alien alike, like me, unwilling prisoners. I cried that night, some of the prisoners were harsh to the newcomers, annoyed that we couldn't stop crying or pleading or talking while some are nice and tried to be friendly. The slave traders' minion were the worst, they laughed at the prisoners and some even would hurt you. I was freshly new to the situation and I was rude to the alien prisoner who was kind to me. I just want to go home and be around human.

It didn't cross my mind that I got stuck in Doctor Who universe because no one mention him and there is nothing familiar at all about the surrounding that could have clue me in. Not that it would do me any good since obviously the Doctor weren't around otherwise he would have rescue us, wouldn't he? Of course, eventually, I thought about the TV series, after all, it is about alien which kind of fitting with my situation. Honestly I was mentally and psychically exhausted with the harsh situation I was in so don't blame me for not going around asking about the Doctor. It's not like I could contact him even if I know of his existence.

I was there for what feel like months. They starved us most of the time, molested some of us occasionally and hurt us when someone get any idea to talk back or try to escape. By then, I was used to the alien prisoners, no longer feel weirded by them, since we were both in the same situation. Some tried to escape but got caught and punished severely, sometimes its include cutting off ones finger, much to my horror. I am a coward so I would never try to escape when the punishment includes bodily harm.

I felt even more helpless than before. I made friends with some prisoners and I hated to be forced apart from them whether because it was a punishment or worst, they got sold. I tried to make myself undesirable as possible in hope to be invisible enough not to attract attention when there is an auction. Thankfully, I'm actually undesirable in my normal life so it doesn't come as a surprise that no one actually paid much attention to ugly old Me. But because of it, I have to do many undesirable chores, sometimes it was downright disgusting. Times like that I wish I could just kill myself and be done with this horrible new life.

You often heard about it on the news or maybe watch the issue on a movie but you never thought it would actually happen to you. I despised human trafficking but it's not like I could do anything about it back then after all I'm not a police or FBI agent who deals with darker aspect of humanity. To think that I actually ended up in human-alien trafficking, was this a result of my bad karma? My Mom always scolded me for not praying regularly, she said I should pray every day in order to gain good karma, but I am a depressed, socially-awkward, unintentionally-rude person who refused to listen. I already believed that I'm a sinner and I will always ended up in Hell.

Well, welcome to my Hell.

I thought about killing myself everyday but I just couldn't figure out how to do it. Maybe I should tried to escape and hope they will shoot me dead but they made it clear they won't kill the merchandise but that doesn't mean they won't damage us. There was a doctor here who treated us after a harsh punishment. He would give us medicine and send us on our not-merry way back to Hell. I hated him for not helping us escape. I know that he maybe has his own situation that made him work for a slave trader but I am afraid and suffering and I just want to go home. I hated those alien slave traders who mocked us, that we can't ever go back home again. I hated that man who sold me to these slave traders in the first place. I wanted to hurt all of these bastards but what can I do? I'm useless through and through.

Day after day, I lost the few friends I made when they got sold. I never even knew their name. We were not allowed to keep our name here. They said our new owner willbe the one who give us new name like a freaking pets. Those who got caught speaking names will be beaten down. So I kept my mouth shut and never told anyone my name.

One day, everything changes, someone attacked the camp I was in. I think it was a team of soldiers. They were ambushing the camp. For the first time ever, a spark of hope lit inside me again. I truly hope they were on our side, that they will rescue us prisoners. And then I saw her.

River Song.

I blinked my eyes a few times to make sure I'm not wrong. It is her. That's when I realized that I am in Doctor Who universe. I couldn't stop staring at her. She was jumping around elegantly avoiding the attack on her person while dealing damages on the enemies. She is awesome.

River Song is my favorite character and I ship her with the Doctor desperately. I hated her sad ending. I read plenty of fanfiction where she survived the library. I kept hoping the future show of Doctor Who will include her coming back but it seem unlikely.

Someone opened the cage where I was jailed and urged us to get out. I snapped out of my trance and moved to get out but stopped. Where can I go? I have nowhere to go. Now here is my predicament. Should I go to her, to River and ask for her help? That's the logical solution, isn't it? She could take me to the Doctor, to the Tardis and maybe the Doctor can take me back home.

I miss my life, no matter how boring and unfulfilling it was. I miss my family even if we hardly talk to each other. I even miss my job and my scary adulthood responsibility. After everything that happened to me here, maybe I would have different perspective in life? Maybe I could make it. I didn't think so before. I am always such a pessimistic person. One should always invite good thought and positive overview in life they said but I can only think bad thought and negative overview since forever. They said all those negativity will make you invite negativity outcome as well but I still couldn't force myself to be optimistic. Would I capable of changing? What if instead I got depressed even more and continue can't cope in life and ended up committing suicide?

Well, I suppose at least I will be at home when that happen? Or is that selfish? Making my family see the end of Me? Maybe I should just kill myself here and spare them the heartaches. But...are my family wondering about my whereabout currently? I would hate to make them worry but then again I'm always such a disappointment. Maybe they will feel relief that I'm gone.

I hated this world because of what happened with the slave trading thing. But this is the world where the Doctor existed, where River existed. Could I do it, be a character in Doctor Who universe? I knew that DW universe is not all flower and puppies, that this world is dangerous most of the time and the best and the worst of humanity and alien are here and out there.

I read many fanfiction about DW fans get themselves stuck in DW world (like me) but they are brave and awesome and adapt well (unlike me). I think the Universe just make a big mistake. They swallowed and spit out the wrong DW fans. I am totally going to die here or worst, continue living as a failure.

Well, isn't that depressing?

Also there is the matter whether I could make River or let alone the Doctor trust me enough to help me. But the Doctor is a good person so he will probably help me find a way home, right?

While I was lost in my thought, River suddenly make an eye contact with me and she smiled. River freaking Song just smiled at me! She walked toward me and said, "YeN LiN, thanks Goodness, I finally found you!"

Whaaaat?

She knew me? Wait, what did she just call me?

"Look at you. So young. So thin. Don't worry we will fix that soon." River said with...pity? "And, ugh, you need a shower."

No shit, Sherlock! It's not like the slave traders willing to waste foods or waters on us prisoners unless it was auction day then we were required to look good enough.

"You...know me?"

"Of course I do, we are friends!" exclaimed River.

I'm friend with River Song? Since when?

"Well, i suppose it's early days for you, huh, YeN?"

Early days? That sounded like something she said to the Doctor. "Why do you kept calling me that?"

"Calling you what?"

"YeN?"

"Well, isn't that your name? YeN LiN? You told me so."

Whaat? Did she mistake me with someone else? "I told you that?" Ok, so maybe future Me decided on the new name? How did future Me come up with that name anyway? And why would I lie about my name? It is not like my name is forbidden like a certain someone. So why?

River frowned at me. Oh gosh, now she knew that I kind of lied about my name. Will this ruin my chance of being rescued?

"Sorry, I forgot. This place doesn't allow us to speak out names." I replied.

If she caught my lie, she didn't commented on it. She simply smiled and told me to follow her. So I did.

TBC

AN: I'm sorry if there are words that offended you. Please don't get upset and attack me.