love in the time of rings
WORKING TITLE: rings n' bitches
once there was a girl named laurelian who lived in middle earth. she was arwen's sister and she was a elf like arwen except for she was way more prettier and also all the elf men thought she was a hot slice but she was too good for them. also Elrond was her father but he was kind of a drag. one day she was riding on her rainbow horse steed and fell into a hole but it was ok because she had invincible skin like a armadillo but still she could not get out of a hole. "GODDAMMIT" she shouted but then a voice above her said "hey hotness let me help you out" "ok" said laurelian who reached up and was pulled with some hands and saw that standing before her was the handsome rugged big hunk of Dunedin man mop Aragorn!
"omg" said laurelian "omg" said Aragorn because he was a stunned by her beauty. "laurelian I was going to marry your sis but I mean damn girl will you marry me instead?" Aragorn swished his black mop hair and somehow his shirt opened? "heck yes" said laurelian and they planned to marry in the summer which is before winter and after autumn
when they were riding back a hole opened up in the earth and out popped newt the science man from paficicic rim! "omg newt what are you doing in middle earth" said laurelian "omg laurelian I have been looking for years like I just really had a feeling we were meant for each other" said newt his tattoos glistened in the helms deep sunshine and the ent trees fell down on their knees from the power of his tattoos and his glasses lit up a fire in the eye of sauron's home dwellings. "laurelian will you marry me" "OMG NEWT SERIOUSLY LAURELIAN IS GONNA MARRY ME YOU RUIN EVERYTHING" SAID ARAgorn and pushed newt with his bear ham fists. then they fought to tha death over who was gunna marry the fair maiden true but then laurelian said 'OMG STOP I CAN MARRY BOTH OF YOU it's a free country" and they did and they flew into the sun like golden chickens
the enk
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