When My Heart Beats Hard

Germany read his book under the tree silently. He can hear the laughter behind him—the laughter of Italy and Russia. It sent pangs of pain in his heart. It was like he was being stabbed with a million daggers. He was jealous. Italy won't talk to him now. After what he did a few days ago, he's not really expecting the younger male to talk to him ever again.

Germany was in his room reading a book when Italy came barging in like some crazy man. It's been raining hard and the thunderstorm was as bad as it can be.

"Germany, can I sleep here with you? I'm so scared." Italy said in his chibi form.

"No. Get out." Germany said straight forwardly. "Go away. I don't want any disturbances."

Italy pouted. "But Germany…"

"Get out."

"Nope, I won't!" Italy said as he jumped to the bed. "I'll sleep beside you!"

"Do you want me to rape you?" Germany asked seriously as he closed his book and looked at Italy. He looked so serious. He didn't want Italy to sleep beside him because he didn't want to take advantage of the younger male but if Italy is this close to him, he might lose his control.

Italy simply stared at him. "No." he smiled widely. "You won't do that, will you?"

"Then go away. Go back to your room. Go to Russia's room if you want." The older male said as he rolled to his side so his back is facing Italy. "And I can rape you if I wanted to so go away."

Italy pouted again. "But I want to sleep beside you." He stubbornly wrapped his arms around Germany's waist.

Germany flinched at the touch. The simple touch from Italy had sent ripples of heat and pleasure down his spine. "I said go away!" he yelled at Italy as he pushed the younger male's hands away. "You are not welcome in this room anymore!"

Italy's lips trembled as he pulled back from Germany. "I-I'm sorry."

"I told you to go away! Don't ever speak or come to me again!"

He sighed. Yeah, it's his fault after all. Stupid. How can he say those cruel words to Italy when all he wanted was to have the other male beneath him; shivering, gasping, moaning?

"Germany, is there any problem? You look bothered." Canada asked.

Germany sighed. "Have you ever tried saying cruel words to the person you love the most?" he asked as he rubbed his face with his palms.

Canada thought for a while. He squeezed the teddy bear he was holding. "You know that the person I love don't really notice me, right?" he looked sad but smiled still. "It's impossible for me to say cruel things to him. He won't even see me let alone talk to me so how can I say cruel things to him?"

Germany suddenly felt a pang of pity for Canada. Canada was the 'invisible' country among the group. He was not really noticed but he has a certain power inside him that is not yet discovered. "Hey, you wanna sit beside me?" he asked as he patted the seat beside him.

Canada willingly sat beside Germany. He simply played with the teddy bear silently for he didn't want to disturb Germany. "I'm jealous." He stated suddenly that it got Germany looking at him.

"Russia is all-over Italy and I can't even get an ounce of his attention. In the other countries' world, I don't really exist. I'm invisible. So I'm jealous of Italy. One time, I even woke up thinking, 'why does Italy, who is basically an idiot, get all the attention?'" Canada buried his face on the bear's head. He was mortified when he felt warm tears run down his face. "I know that he has a warm aura inside him that makes people like him a lot but why am I invisible? I know you see me as the kind of country who just smiles through problems but inside me, I am hurt. I am in great pain. Why can't I make the man I love see me?"

Germany wrapped his arm around Canada's shoulders and pulled him close. "Maybe some of us are really just stupid to love some people who are dumb enough not to notice us or the love we have for them." He whispered. "Don't cry now, okay? They might think that I made you cry and I might get shot here."

Canada laughed at that and wiped his tears away. "Yeah, maybe we're just both stupid to love somebody who doesn't really deserve us."

The two of them laughed it off.

Italy and Russia stopped running after each other when they saw Canada make his way towards Germany. Both their auras had gone from great to bad when the 'invisible' country sat beside Germany and worse still when Germany actually hugged him!

That's mine, you bastard! Russia screamed in his mind. His hands were balled into fists that were ready to punch Germany to pulp.

Germany is mine! Italy screamed in his mind too.

"So wanna eat with me?" Germany asked Canada as he stood up from the bench. He offered his hand to Canada and helped the younger male to stand. The two of them walked together to the kitchen to get food. Germany cooked food for the two of them while listening to Canada's stories about the bear that he's holding. "Isn't he the adventurous one?" he asked with a smile. He likes it when Canada tells stories about things. He usually thinks why Canada is invisible when he is fun to be with.

"Yeah, he is! Like totally, adventurous!" Canada ate the pancake Germany served for him. "Next time, I'm going to the beach so I can build sand castles! Wanna come with me?" Canada is super happy right now because he has somebody who actually is listening to his stories. He longs for somebody like that; someone who will listen to his senseless stories and just smile. Someone who'll make him feel visible.

Germany smiled at Canada. "Why not? We're not really doing something here. When do you want to go?"

"Go where?" Russia asked as he entered the kitchen.

"I have to go, Germany. I'll talk to you again later, okay? Let's plan the beach adventure next time." Canada said as he stood up and left the kitchen.

"Sure, Canada. No problem." Germany said with a wave of his hand. "What's up, Russia?"

"You and Canada are planning to go to the beach?" Russia asked as he ate the part of pancake Canada left on his plate.

"Yup. So?" Germany put away the utensils he had finished washing after cooking the pancakes for the two of them.

"So you're going with him?"

"Yeah, and we might do something interesting after we build some sand castles."

Russia almost choked on his pancake.

"You okay?" Germany asked when he heard Russia cough. He handed Russia a glass of water. "Oh, well. Might as well go now. I want to prepare things for Canada and I. You know how he forgets things sometimes."

Russia was left brooding.

"A-ah… R-Russia… s-slow down… ah!" Canada screamed as Russia thrust into him hard and fast. He bit his lip to stop him from embarrassing himself further.

Russia continued to ram inside the 'invisible' country. He was addicted to Canada's pleasured moans and screams. "So good… Canada…" he whispered huskily into Canada's ear. He held the younger male's arms and wrapped them around his neck. "Hold onto me and let's come together…"

Canada only managed to nod as Russia rammed into him faster and harder. "A-ah! More… oh, yes, more!"

Russia sat up violently from his deep slumber. No, Canada never said such things while they were having sex in his mind. That's got to be part of the reality. He thought. It is true that he can hear the things that might be going on in the other room after all.

"Yes, more… uhn… G-Germany!" Canada screamed from the other room that had gotten Russia running from his room to the next with a murderous aura. In the next room, he saw Germany on top of Canada who was naked to the waist—his pale body glistening from sweat. "Hi, Russia! Germany here is just being nice and is giving me a nice massage since my whole body is really painful from the strenuous activity we just did." Canada said with a laugh. His hair was mushy and he looks like he did have a strenuous activity just recently.

Russia's eyes narrowed. "Strenuous activity?"

"Yeah. It's so refreshing and fun. Germany sure is very good at it. I'm getting addicted to it too. I just wish he'll let me do it with him again."

Germany laughed. "What can I do? I'm a bad man." He said as he massaged Canada's shoulders that resulted to a moan from Canada. "And sure, we can do it again as many times as you want. I'll let you come as many times as you want."

"Oh… that's so good, Germany." Canada said with an approving moan. "You're so good, Germany."

"Get off Canada." Russia said weakly.

"Huh? Did you say something, Russia?" Germany and Canada asked simultaneously.

"I said get off Canada! You're not allowed there! He's mine, you bastard!" Russia screamed at Germany. His heart was thumping hard against his chest. He was furious, jealous, envious and all at the same time. He couldn't face the fact that Canada had done it with Germany! Canada was supposed to be his and nobody else's!

"That certainly went quite well." Germany said to himself as he stood in front of Canada's room. He shrugged and turned back only to face Italy who was staring at him with his huge eyes. "You scared me." He said quietly as he walked around Italy.

"Is there something going on with you and Canada?" Italy asked—his head tilting to the left that made him look so cute.

"Maybe, maybe not." Germany answered with a shrug. "It's none of your business." Germany looked at Italy and smiled at him. "Is there?" he turned back again and walked away from the younger male.

Italy narrowed his eyes unto Germany's back. Not my business, my ass. You're mine, you idiot. I won't let Canada steal you from me.

"U-uhn… Russia… s-slow down… uhn… ah…" Canada panted as Russia rammed inside him in a fast pace. "P-please…" tears started to wet his cheeks. He never imagined Russia to be violent. In his mind, he imagined Russia to be gentle. More like, he wanted and needed Russia to be gentle. "Please… be… gentle… ah… God! I… I might… b-break!"

Russia abruptly stopped moving when he saw Canada's tears. Oh, God! "No, no, no… Don't cry. Goddamn it, don't cry!" panic started to form in his heart. He never wanted to make Canada cry. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'll be gentle. I'm sorry… just don't cry now, okay?' he kissed Canada's tears away.

Canada nodded. "Okay… b-be gentle, okay?" he smiled at Russia as he caressed his cheek.

Russia stared at Canada. "Was Germany gentle to you?" he asked. It sent daggers to his heart to imagine his Canada doing it with Germany; to imagine this cute being underneath a huge man like Germany, moaning, panting. He narrowed his eyes to see through Canada if he was lying or not. His anger was back. He was angry not at Canada but to Germany and himself. He was angry at Germany for touching his Canada and he was angry with himself for not acting immediately.

"Germany is always gentle to everyone. Even when he was teaching me some martial arts, he was gentle. And he even massaged me when I pulled a muscle in my back." Canada said with a smile. "That's why I like Germany a lot. I wonder why the person he loves doesn't notice him at all."

"Yeah, I won— wait, what? Germany is in love?" Russia asked. His eyes full of confusion.

Canada nodded. "Yeah, he is. I just hope that that person falls in love with Germany too."

Russia smirked. "So, that bastard never touched you like this?" he rubbed Canada's reddened nipple. Happiness overcame his heart.

Canada gasped at the sudden movement. "Uhn… n-no, w-why… w-would… he do t-that?" He gripped Russia's shoulders harder.

"And the strenuous activity you were talking about is the martial arts training?" he nibbled on Canada's neck and earned a wonderful moan. He was energized.

"Y-yeah, w-what did you think was it?"

"Uh… something like I'm currently doing right now." Russia said as he thrust into Canada. He pulled one of Canada's legs and put it on his shoulder so Canada was lying sideways on the bed but the position gave Russia a better angle to hit Canada's prostate again and again.

Canada's face was red. His breathing was ragged and labored. He grasped at the bed sheet tightly as Russia rammed into him. His screams were stifled by the pillow he was currently biting on.

"Let me hear you scream, Canada…" Russia said huskily. "Let me hear your beautiful voice!"

Canada looked at him tearfully.

"Let it go. Let me hear it."

Canada let go of the pillow he has biting on and immediately screamed aloud when Russia hit his prostate again. "C-coming… R-Russia…"

"Let's come together then." Russia said as he quickened his pace more until the two of them came at the same time.

"Good thing for Canada. He already got what he wanted." Germany thought as he listened to the sounds coming from the room next to his.

It's obviously a month of firsts for me. This is my first fan fiction for Hetalia. I hope you guys like it. I can write a second part if I get some reviews saying so.